Page Twu Armour Tech News Student Publication of the ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY CHICAGO, lLLlNOlS Published Weekly Durmg the College Year (.I Single Copies. IO Cents Each MANAGING BOARD $2.00 Per Year Editor- in chief , Russell R. Johnson Mannuing Editor . Frank D. Go terman Sports . John O Lin-son yril L'. DuScll i so Mnnnrer , C [usiuc I Walter Hendricks 1 IIculty Advisur EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT News Idimr . R. S Kcrchcr M .e-up llidt oIs Daudcra, M B. Ste teev A la nment Editors N Gerber. F. L. Lenson. S. Rn binowitz Copy. Editor , . , ..... G. A. lwissler nnts . H. 0. Buucrineistcr. W S. mlin, 5‘R. H. KnIIbc, V. J. Kropl’ SPORTS DEPARTMENT AfiJl‘wlflni. Sports Editor. ,, ., ., J M. Kubcrt Spo Reporter» M, S Alexander. R Brhun, H Coyle, G. Morris, Nnumzm D B Rodkin, J. C. Scott, R. Worcester. BUSINESS DF ARTMENT s C. K. MMI:naL:cr alter ass As.M LIinIII ,, Circulation I taut v01. XVI. JANILARYJ},_1936 Adm Hi rim: ‘ 1. I: Forsbefl No. 13 in The Clear As the class of 1936 prepares to enter its last semester at Armour Institute, two highly signifi- cant additions to the school’s functions go into effect for the first time, and we may Well he moved to pause and reflect on a great change that has come into being at Armour during the short span of the seniors’ direct acquaintance with it. Four years ago, Armour, past its fortieth anni- versary, with an honored reputation and an out- standing record of service to the community, was never the less in, to say the least, a transitory position. Its president retiring because of physi— cal disability, its trustees doing their best to pro— vide for its future with a new educational plan, no one could say with any certainty what direc— tion affairs might take, or where they might end. Today, the gloomicst observer can hardly fail to note the clearing of the picture. Not only do we see things moving under skilled direction, toward the emergence of an Armour Institute sound and solid financially, and more than ever respected scholastically, but many of the stops along the way have been actually accomplished. Look where we will, improvements in the cur- riculum, advancements in the ability of the school to serve the community, and a general impres— sion of conditions on the up grade, meet our in- spection. Of course, the question of a new plant, so often discussed during the past year, looms large in the minds of Armour’s friends, but even here, knowing the length of time the promotion of such STUDENT OPINION H Photography in Engineering HAVE you noticed the increasing use of pictures in every field of operation? Herctofore PHOTOGRAPHY was left to the advertising manager and sales engineer but today it is adopted by the technical profession as in- dispensable in recording what cannot be so forcefully described in words as through the “universal language.” An engineer has many tools in his kit, and since suc- cess can be measured directly with the amount of em tcrprise shown, why not add another tool? Use PHO- TOGRAPHY, the universal language, Don’t be behind times! Ray Mansfield. Lauds Christmas Concert May I take this opportunity of expressing my own appreciation, as well as that of several other students, for the exceptionally fine concert presented by the Arm- our Musical Clubs at the close of last year. It is inspir- ing and gratifying to know that such unselfish and fine work as the club has accomplished can succeed in spit-3 of the small and petty disturbing elements, which it seems must always exist. And not only have the clubs succeeded in attaining real ability in their field, they have also succeeded in winning- over the support of the vast majority of the studuent body. in View of this last fact, may I offer the suggestion that for the coming concert in February, which should certainly be one of the finest the club has ever given, the admission charge be not set so high as to become exorbitant and thereby exclude a good many of the Armour students who have enthusiastically supported the club thus far and who have every desire of continu- ing in their support? Yours truly, Sidney M. Miner. Four Year Social Science "i would like to use the privilege of the Armour Tech News to call the attention of the student body, faculty, and administrative officers to the growing tendency for engineering to be more general. It was in recognition of this fact that Armour Institute readjusted its courses in Social Science. However, the adjustments were not carried for enough. As pointed out by Howard Milleville the time devoted to the humanities has been increased, 'but many of the cultural subjects have been lost in favor of business courses. The majority of students objected (to the new Social Science courses because under the new plan they apparently have more work to do, 'withl ‘lbss Iesu'lts. ‘ Last 'Wednesday night, I had an opportunity to talk With some of the recent giadu'ates of Armour. Every one of them spoke of the value and importance of morel ARMOUR TECH NEWS large projects must always require, there can be no cause for discouragement as yet. Armour’s present buildings must certainly be replaced soon, and Armour’s administrative officers, as we well know, have worked out a plan to replace them. That they will succeed; that coming years will find Armour Institute secure in the position of the outstanding engineering school of the Chi— cago area, we can doubt no more than we doubt that this highly industrialized region needs a source of trained and capable engineers. ’Round and Around With the national elections nearly a year away, the battle between our two great political parties has already grown so hot that we find even the professors taking time off during class to talk politics. And the seriousness with which men are embracing one side or the other, the right— eousnesswith which they denounce their opponents and point to themselves and their cohorts as the only true lovers of the people and saviors of the nation is, as always, both laughable and pitiful. It seems incredible that the Republicans could believe, as they apparently do, that our dive into the depths in 1929 had no relation whatever to the policies of the Republican administration, and that our slow outward climb is entirely in spite of the fact that the Democrats are in power. And that the Democrats could feel, as they apparently do, that such creaking make shifts as theWPA are to characterize our national affairs from now on, solving all our problems, is efl'rontery beyond comment. Four great newspapers in Chicago are frothing at the mouth with rage at the present national administration, and are running in circles after the bogeys of censorship, dictatorship, and com— munism, yet the City of Chicago and the State of Illinois are clamped tight in the claw of a po- litical dictatorship as absolute as any America has ever seen, and every day growing more bolder. Its opponents in the legislature, if any are able to sneak in despite its ability to control, by foul means, our local elections, don't stay in long; either their seats are stolen by the smooth- running machine, or they are killed by hired gun— men. It has already appointed itself arbiter of the public morals and supreme critic of the drama; how much farther it will go into the realm of censorship no one can say. It's easy to see Why “the Music Goes ’Round and Around” took four years to become a bit. Such a dizzy song had to wait for a properly dizzy time. training in business and other Social Science courses. Judging from this, the cure for the present difficulties is not in eliminating them, but rather to give Social Science throughout the fouI years with sufficient time to get a general knowledge. This may be done at the sacrifice of more detailed engineering couIses, which do not teach much but only afford an application of old principles by means of much labor. The value of these detailed courses Can be secured by co-ordinating all courses to show the possible applica— tions and inter-dependence of the several branches of engineering. These observations are not conclusive They are more~ ly a statement of the probable general changes that should be, and eventually will be made in educational processes. Befone making any definite change, industries and graduates should be consulted and the several prob‘ lems studied. Having reached a decision as to what should be done, the necessary changes should be made without any doubtful hanging on to antiquated courses. Only by radical reliance on truth can present errors be corrected. No half-way point is sufl’icient. Sincerely yours, R. H. Knabc. More About Liquor Ads Insist on the genuine article! Get Four Noses or Old Quicker in leg-lined and pamper-proof cans! In the recent discussion as to whether such startling information should be made available to the Armour student, in the form of liquor advertisements, the Armour Tech News has maintained a discreet silence. And there is a reason for this seeming lack of interest. When the eighteenth amendment was repealed, it was made a policy and a rule of the school that the student publications would not accept advertisements of the fluid type; and since then, all (and there were many) efforts on the part of the News to change that have re- sulted in failure. Should the Cycle solicit such advertis~ ing, the News might follow suit. It is certain, however, that such a move will result in vigorous opposition from the administration and the faculty, regardless of what the student body decides. We must further remember that though the Engineer does accept these “ads”, eighty per cent or more of its readers are people other than students at Armour, which isn’t true in the case of the Cycle and News. On the other hand, let me assure you that the coins clinking in the coffers would be most pleas- ing music to the ears of the business department of- ficers, and would cause said officials to rub their hands in glee. So let’ s settle the question once a d fol 1:”; and in so doing, let us consider not only the Iii/widow and Cycle, but all three” ‘ Sincerely yours. ' I E‘ . i Adveitisln ‘Managcr, Armour Tech News. The Slipsticlr ‘ Cleave to the slipstick; let Tort: As he placed that hand in. his own And pressed it close to his chest, He dared mil whisper a, sound Nor cvrm breathe at. best. He squeezed it lightly and [mew That it meant lots of good things, For whatever hand in the world Could bout rm our. and four kings! Retort: A Schmier’s Lament “I’ll give up all my cake and pie, I’ll give up all my sweetics, ‘Causc Prof. Freud just warned me I might get diu-bel-cs/ Il: .L I Jane: “Have you noticed that Jack has eyes like a sparrow?" Jonn: “Nol brown?" Jane: "No—~they flit from limb to limb." Do you mean they’re It Husband (blushing): corset for my wife. I want u Clerk: What bust? Husband: Nothin’. It just wore out. 3% fit I]: “And I don’t like him. He’s flat," says Jean. “Don't like him?” exclaims Lulu angrily. “Why, haven‘t you heard, he has three cars and gets fifty thousand dollars a your!” “0h! (Jean’s getting excited} Then he’s a flat with all the modern conveniences! i” ll! )l'v GLADYS: 0h, made me u maul BILL O'BRIEN: I'm the man! ’1: a I wish God had Well, didn't he? :lI ’5‘ Little Willie in. the bust of sashes Fell in the fire and was burned to ashes. B14 and by lhc room grew chill, But no one lilacs to poke up Willie. H'AWFUL A71. awful question comes to my mind; I'll put ll. up to you. Suppose yam- cywtcelh all went blind, How could you sec to chew? (Gongl. . . .But Major—) ll‘ I? IEI Policeman (sorer'm H—l): “Who was driving this car?” Drunk (triumphantly): “None of Ira, oflinher, we was all in the back seat." .llthn Mash-I: arose and gave the lady your seat on the ‘cl’ the other day." Oori- “granted": “Since childhood I “I noticed that you 'ii‘IzADI TION SAYS no WOMANF SHALL ER THE U0 FMICHIGAN II‘NIou (UNIVERSIWT MEN‘S rLuB) THROW-ISAC gHE EFRONT DA Ni EL WEBSTER THE FIIasr (buses PAPER ma Wallis WAS PUBLISHED IN Isoo or THE STUDENTS or DAKINIomH Conceal wps one or lST OUTSTANDING: COMRBUTORSH- .5 Tuesday, january l4, l936 CAMPUS CA. MERA. \ WOMEN " AND PEDDLERS I use mosses RECEIVED THE SECOND AHONORéXRBY DEEGREE TEXAS 33935) ITE WAS 0A DOCTOR 0F LAWS DEGREE! have nlways reopccted n with a strap in her hand!” ill >91 Advice to Engineers Dear Zacu: Despite the way you. have spread gossip about me, I want you, to lcnow that a young lady intel- lectual and refined , is going to the Sophomme Dance with me. What have you to say 1.0 that? YounKnow-Mc. Dem Cow- fu- too. A fellow has to go out with an intellectual, mfi‘ncd girl now and then. There aren't enough of the other kind to ya around. ZAZ U I. . ., “My mirth and guid humor arc coin in my pouch." Burns and that’s ZAZU Hendricks, RIPE. ’31, Married in @cl'olier Howard S. Hendricks, of the class of June 1931, and a member of Phi Kappa Sigma fraternity, was married on October 28, 1935, to Miss Jean Hayes of Maywood, Illinois. He is employed by the Tennessee Inspec— tion Bureau of the National Board of Fire Underwriters. At present he is located in Nashville, Tennessee. Snapple is His Name, and He’s a Her; Selieoe the latest of Thisw—fiwgi By Richard Weioaman “And that, gentlemen, is the Line Integral law”, concluded Professor Richardson. “did you to low me?” Voices of assent were heaid and oven the little white dog, who had followed every word, barked his un- derstanding. But when the professor called for volunteers, no one offered to go to the board to explain the law but the pup. With short' mincing steps the studious pooch walked con- fidently to the front of the room, and taking the chalk in his (her?) mouth be carefully explained the problem step by step, leaving no detail un- touched. Not a single person spoke. Professor ls Amazed It was not until five minutes lat— er that the professor recovered his presence of mind sufficiently to speak. ”Did you see what I saw?" he hesitantly queried. Receiving no answer, he addressed the animal. “It is not news," said Professor Richardson, “when a school goes to the dogs, but when a dog goes to school, well, maybe I’m wrong”. “Wurf ari‘ arf woof”, replied the mutt. Just then Clifl‘ Carstens, being somewhat of a wolf himself, said that he understood what the dog spoke. Not Only Dog “The dog said", explained Cliff, “that it wasn't the only dog going to this school". “Where did you learn electricity?” asked Richardson. “Ever since I was a litle pup I had a yearning to go to school, and when I saw your classroom door open, I just couldn’t resist the tompbl ation. I hope you’ll forgive me." “I think that you’re a nice doggie, and I like you, and all that, but please, for the sake of order in the class, confine your pursuit of knowl- edge to other localities." The little dog slunk out, crestfal- len, his tail between his legs. Still hopeful, however, he sought out an— other class. This time it was Pro— fessor Calvert’s physics class, where he crept in unseen. The professor was lecturing on the Kinetic Theory of molecules. “Will you please explain and de- rive this equation?” he asked. “Wurf”, said the dog. “Stop making those noises, Mal- lek”, exclaimed the prof. “Wui ”I said stop it, Mallek”. “But professoi I didnt do it.” “Wurf”. “Oh so it was you, Downing, leave the room”. Dog Attends Classes This continued until the entire class was sent out. “Oh well", said Professor Colvert, “I might as well lecture for the rest of the period to the dog. He'll prob- ably understand it just as well as that class of mine”. And this state- ment was far truer than even the professor dreamed. And for the past four or five days. the dog has attended classes regular- ly, probably deriving more benefit from them than most of his human classmates. At this point in the story. the reader, while not actually disbeliev- ing' may not be entirely convinced. woman . If PROF. RICHARDSON installed little electrical devices on the chairs in his classes, he would be able to awaken his sleeping listeners. In- cidentally, it would be the only way to get some juice into BIL-L HEINTZ. Sigmund Moculuski, a building fresh poet, bids for recognition with this one: Can it he love? Will your heart ever open Its door of gold just to me? Will your soul reap a. token Of undying love for ma? If you noticed (who didn’t) MAUREECE ALEXANDER does not grace ('l) our portals any more. With all the debtors at his heels, the reason for his leaving seems to be clear. Even NELLIE was taken to the tune of $1.60. However, the rest of the mob are willing to set. tle for 20 cents on the dollar. ART RICE claims that he is not married. She's only the star boarder. If (.ch sop/I sclmzicrs got accused of drinking too much bccr, it’s only for the cause of science. And besides it, will eliminate the necessity of a wringcr. It is rumored that all the mugs caught in the act of emitting a pun will get sent to the punnitentinry. A group of senior schmiers for- got all about the fine point of. dice when they sought the elusive object after it dropped thru a crack. And it happened just when FRANK rolled “boxcars.” Jacket is Selected By Soph Committee After many meetings and discus- sions, the sophomore jacket commit- tee selected a class jacket last Fri- day afternoon. Tlie jacket will have black leather sleeves and a dark red or’ maroon body adorned by a yellow monogram. A zipper will replace the usual but» tons Its cost is $6. 50 It will be heavy enough for winter wear but not too well m for spri 23nd fall Names of students intending to buy the jacket must be left with member of the committee at the desk in the lobby by noon today, ideas— urements will be taken at n meetim: of the. class within a few days. at which time a dollar deposit will be quuired The remainder of the cost is to be paid at the time of delivery of the jacket. a Well ask any of the professors who has had the pooch as one of his students 2 J, Dunne, R bi. Faust, i. Seiden» berg, and J. M. Shoebox: make up the jacket committee.