Va?» . ., ,. @bmjowcs fie By Orville H. Hampton In at Cornell time survey, it was discovered that the average student slept about twice as much as he studied. That means about 20 minutes for a night’s rest, and it takes 19 minutes to get to sleep. One of the members of Tau Delta Phi at Texas U. adopted a dog and named him “Dammit Scram." Imagine what happens in the dog’s mind when someone holds out a very desirable bone and calls, “Here, Dammit Scrum.” A Lesson in English. You see a beautiful girl walking of 340 students smoke. down the street. You walk across the street, chang- ing to verbal and then become dotive. If she is not objective you become plural—1101.4. walk home together. Her brother is an indefinite article, and her mother is occusdtivc and becomes imperative. You talk about the future, changes the subject. Her father becomes present, and you become past tense! (Georgia Technique). Some students in the University‘ of Vienna sign up for a course, miss all their classes, and meet the pro- fessor only when the final examine. tion is given. They pass as often as those who attend all the lectures. A jinx follows Texas collegiate editors. The editor of the Texas Ranger, humor publication of the University of Texas, recently was ousted from his position; and the editor of the Daily Texas, student newspaper, narrowly escaped death a few months ago when a plane in which he was flying crashed in a. corn field near Austin. The five most valuable chemical diocovcriea of recent dale, according to Prof. Edward Barlow. University, of Iowa, are: method of making a silk substitute: cracking of oils; arti- ficial refrigeration; inoulin; and liver extract. ' A professor at Georgia Tech re— cently gave a test to one of his class— es to ' how L ' a. man’s character may be judged by seeing his picture. He used pictures. of Lewis Lewes, warden of Sing. Sing; Walter Lippman, editor; Sin- clair Lewis, novelist; and H. L. Mencken, critic. They were identi- fied as. follows: Lewis Lawes, banker, politician, statesman, doctor; Walter Lippman, lawyer, gangster, plumber, governor; Sinclair Lewis, carpenter, ditch digger, murderer, explorer, radio announcer, gangster; Mencken, butcher, beer Ibarou, mill worker, bandit, degenerate, and Senator. Could these men be fooling us? Academic Programs Freshman: I don’t know. Sophomore: I am not prepared. Junior: I don’t exactly remember. Senior: I don’t believe I can add any constructive ideas to what has already been said. Dr. James C. Munch, research di— rector of the pharmacy school of Temple University, says parents can soon stop coaxing their children to take medicine. Dr. Munch has “made su‘bstanial progress in de-bit- terizing' medicine.” 'He reports that the use of proper solvents has made unpalatable pills palatable and in- creased their medical value at the same time. In the old days the people went west to settle on the land. Nowadays the land moves east to settle on. the. people. (University Daily Hanson) The discovery of 1,700 new vari- able stars, each a. new “yardstick” for fathoming the depths of space, has been reported by Dr. Harlow Shapley, direct/or of the Harvard University observatory and e. U. of Missouri alumnus. In a survey conducted at North l __..___._..—. and shcl iAmorica is the University of San lMarcoa, in Lima, Peru, founded in H. 1...! were forced to act as sandwich men western university recently, 247 out ‘Fivc stu- dents broke down and confessed that they chew. The blame for the formation of l these habits cannot be placed at the school doorstep. This is substantiated by figures showing that the fresh— men have smoked for 2.52 years and the seniors for 5.33 years. The oldest univerciey in South 1551. Don't say burp, say crucicicle. (Detroit Collegian) Prof. Pittman B. Potter, formerly U. of Wisconsin (Madison) political scientist, has been appointed special adviser to Emperor Selassie of Ethi- opia. Being in the hospital is no excuse for not taking examinations at the University of Missouri. Every stu~ dent patient who was able 1x) write took exams at the end of the first semester anyway. From 1802 to June, 1934, 10,182 cadets have been graduated from the ‘U. S. Military Academy. 3; (West Point, N. Y.) A butler in the Lamde Chi fro.- ternity house at the University of Alabama, has named three of his oil'- spring Lambda, Chi, and Alpha. of the class of 1884 University are liv- ing and accounted for. All members A. Colorado professor of forestry was giving his class some inside dope about fighting forest fires. Said he: “The important thing to remember is to keep cool." Two universities announce the formation of new Greek organiza- tions on their campuses: Who Kippur Upsilong. Chi Baby Chi, New Maternity. Pledges of Alpha Delta Sigma, national professional advertising fraternity, at DePauw university as an initiation stunt. “Do you krww that there is a Smith born every eleven minutes?" (Purdue Exponent) Columbia University (New York) physicists last year undertook to measure the size of the neutron during the past year. This is one of the new sub-atomic particles, having mass but no electric charge. Its diameter was fixed at .0000000- 000001 inch. Judge—“So you were caught with the goods, eh? Whom did you rob?" Yegg—“A frat house, yeronner.” Judge—“Distribute this stuff to the down-town hotels.” (Northeastern News) Thumbnail sketch of Purdue Co— ed — Good from far and far from good. Purdue Exponent. The village policemen at Lafayette had little difficulty in apprehending the 16 freshmen who crashed the Mars Theatre in celebration of the burning of their pots. All Sixteen were roosting in one row placidly awaiting slaughter. l ARMOUR TECH NEWS Radio Servicing, One Dollar Per Call No doubt the reader has heard the story of the Telephone lineman who was hold by the company not to use bad language. 011 a job one day, his partner accidentally spilled some molten lead down his back, where- upon he said in a mild voice, “ReaL ly, James, you must be more care— ful." The reader has no doubt. also read Paul Bunyan stories. It is a fact, not. generally known to the uninitiated that the language of the average service man, and of radio technicians in general, is re- plete with pungent phrases which are not held in high repute among the better classes. We all know that sailors swear, but their exhortations do not come from the soul. They are uttered as a common, uninteresting procedure. Not so by the radio man. With him it is a matter of aesthetic importance. His phrases are delivered slowly, and deliberately, words chosen with care, and no time is lost in getting to the point. His vocabulary con- sists of novel and unusual expres- sions, each utilized with the purpose of expressing the desired shade of meaning. Ordinary profanity is en- tirely unsuitable for the service men. He must have variety, spice, pro- lificity, and most important of all, feeling. The reason for his elevated im- portance of vocal gymnastics is sim- ple, when his case is analyzed. Let us take the usual sequence of events which lead to the violent pollution of the atmosphere, accompanied by blue flashes, and other manifesta- tions. The service men is at home. He has a headache, and is very tired. He is about to go to bed, when the phone rings. It is a service call. He must leave at once. He packs his tools and motors and leaves. At the home of the customer, he is told about the radio, and is told not to damage the rugs, and is lefl; alone. He gets an idea of the trouble by using his set analyzer, he removes the chassis from the cabinet, places it upside down on the floor, and assuming an un~ comfortable position, ommcncos. A1; the first thrive he in I, he acci' dcntally touches the by b wire in the set, and gets a shock, of a volt- age of approximately 750, which is a lot of volts for a shock. In jerk— ing his hand back, he knocks his set analyzer off the chair, and breaks one of his best tubes, scattering glass all over the'floor. His head aches worse, but still he controls his tem— per. He knows that the Worst is yet to come. In the next five minutes he burns his hand iwice, on the soldering; iron, cuts his knee on the broken (glass, drops solder on the rug, and receives another shock. He has not, uttered a sound as yet. He knows that his troubles have just begun During the next ten minor/as, by a diligent ap- plication of test prods and ohmmetcr, he finds that the push-pull audio in- put transformer has shorted, burn- ing out several resistors, and not doing; the condensers any good either. He proceeds to remove the trans if: f mute—ti undafter an l grouper mums blihllilh'i" uhhbdh Whhlih Add "Willi hi? Willi. W. h. T. Government. Project is Completed in Show Time COPPER DAM TYPE Theodore L. Condron, consulting engineer, gave an illustrated talk on the design and construction of tho- Colume‘h Harbor breakwater at the W. S. E. meeting last Friday. Mr. Condron has spoken at Armour W. S. E. meetings several times. The breakwater extends into Lake Michigun at Calumet Harbor 4200 feet east and then 2500 south. It is composed of 131 rock-filled cells built with steel piles at a cost of about one and one-half million dollars. The piles have on average resisting pow- er of 17,000 pounds per lineal inch and are forty-six feet long. These were driven about six feel: into the clay bottom by four sveam hammers. Cells 38 Feet Long: A”Each cell is thirty-eight feet long and forty feet; wide, and is filled with small—sized limestone to a depth of about thirty-three feet. The over- age for each cell is 2,260 tons of stone of sizes one—fourth to fourteen inches. This stone was put; into a cell by belt conveyor from the stone boot in one hour. ‘On top of this small stone are a few layers of stone weighing several hundred pounds apiece and a layer of cup stone com~ posed of rocks of an average weight of seven lions. This prevents the waves from washing the stone away. Contrmcl; Let in 1933 The government let the contract ill October of 1933. Strikers damage, and the complaint of weakness of design by the contractor, prevented work from getting under way. The type of construction was found to be much stronger “than other break- waters of comparable type, and con» struchion was begum Moyézo of lost your. needed for completion of the project. This type of breakwater costs less than the wood, concrebe, or stone mound types, and can be built in less time. Wood and concrete breekwaters have 9. smaller resistance to being rolled over. Nathan-cut Speaks E. S. Nethercut, secretary of the national W. S. E. spoke a few min- utes after the lecture in praise of Mr. Condron and his work, and ad vised that if any man is to succeed in "engineering, or any other work, he must [make his own way without relying on the help of others fifif‘ifitiafif; painstaking toil, he repairs the short, and attempts (to replace the trans- former. Hc is hot, tired, and disgusted. His buck aches from bending over the chassis. His spirit is willing, but his l l l l .Drive. Room 1200.. Only fifty—eight days were 1 Senior Chemicals {To (To inspection Trip Last Thursday the senior chem- icals visited the Lever Brothers Soup Company and the American Maize Products under the direction of Professor Mc- Cormack. The Lever Brothers Soup Company is the largesfl; and best equipped soap plant in the Chicago area. It has a soap kettle capacity of 1% million pounds. The factory, a good example of plant construction, was designed and built by Stone dz Webster. Lever Brothers maintain their ov’m plantations in Africa and the Philip. pines from which come cocoanut oil and palm kernel oil used in the man- ufucture of their soaps. Bar soap, soup flakes and soap powder are manufactured. The company also re- covers and refines gilyccrinc. This plant was designed and built by Sleek & Druckcr, both Armour grad- notes. The American Maize Products Company is one which grew from a small scale to its present large size in 15 yours. This plant, like many others, has during its growth paid little amntion to the proper ar- rangement. and coordination of fac- tory operations. They manufacture products derived from corn, several varieties of corn starch, corn oil, glucose, dextrose, lactic acid, and calcium lactate, the last two being starch fermentation products. Wfifi. To Hear Talk on Traffic Problems On Thursday, April '11, at 7 o'clock, John A. Massen, chairman of the City Council Committee on Traffic and Public Safety, will present a talk on “Traffic Problems.” The vital civic, economic, and structural phases of the Chicago traffic problems will be presented. Alderman Masecn recently super- vised the publiishing of a report of the Committee on Traffic and Public Safety, on “A Plan for the Greater Chicago Traffic Area.” The talk will be given at the Engi— neering Building, 205 W. Wacker body legs. I say that he attempts to replace the iransformcr, but alas, it is only an attempt. The genius who designed the set, so, designed it that in order to bolt the 1r .‘ or. one must be ambidextrous, near sighted, and in addition must pos- sess. six fingers on each hand, and also must be a conbortionist of no mean ability. Our service men, not knowing these facts, and possessing none of these abilities, breaks his finger nails, cuts his hands, drops the set a few times, and spends an hour and a half 'gctting‘the trans- former nearly in place, only to lose his grip on the bolt, and to start over. By who end of another two hours, he believes that he has the transformer in place. He takes a step back, takes a deep breath, and smiles. Then the transformer falls out. The real; is obvious. Egg: Thu Company. The trip was‘ remarkably demonstrated by 7 5 .7“ will «a °\ .a * Nb'ébflhgigh? become—51? > we. 52%. .Hecs FIDO.’ Tuesday, April 9, V935 Rmunmerb Talks in Lincoln Park Mall of Science Last Year A world in a drop of water was Dr. Georg Rocmmerl; last Tuesday eve- ning through the auspices of the State Misroscopical Society at. the Academy of Science at Lincoln Park. To a packed house, Dr. Roemmcrt presented the wonders of the unseen world by means of. a microscopical screen projection in which actual liv- ing material was used. er Arc-Light Projector The projector was of the arc-light type of high illuminative intensity concentrated by mirrors and lenses through the glass plate containing the subject ihto the microscope and reflected 120 um: screen by a total re- flecting prism. Samples of water taken from ditches, marshes, wells, etc, were placed in the projector and subsequently discussed. The protozoan (one-celled) life, of which about 25000 species are known, was first taken into consideration. The audience was able llo clearly see their feeding and reproduction as pointed out. by the Doctor. Later the meta‘ zoan life (poly-celled) was discussed in a similar fashion, the rotifera class in particular being considered although several other types were shown on the screen. “Chlorophyll” Discussed As a final exhibition of micro-or— ganisms, the specific connection 'be- tween plont and animal life was con- sidered. The Eugleno, a one-celled form of life, was shown to possess characteristics of both plant and uni— mul life. A short tall: was then given on that. remarkable substance, “chlorophyll,” a substance which the euglenu possesses, but no other form of animal life, is known to have. This substance has the ability of combin- ing water and carbon~dioxidc to form certain carbohydrates. The effects of heel; upon each of the living micro-organisms were also shown upon the screen. The heat was applied while the sample was in the projector; it was thus visibly demonstrated that heat is fatal to all forms of life within a very short time. Show Cryelal Formation The process of the formation of crystals, of various salts from the liquid to the solid state was then ‘ “”inthe,.'L The substance was first placed under the microscope and melted with an ex- ternal source of heat. While the specimen was cooling, the screen clearly showed the “building‘ up” formation during the recrystalliza- tion. The first. projection of each sample was by the use of projector- geinerated white light. The projec- tion was then repeated using polar- ized light. This was efi‘ccted by the insertion, at the total reflecting prism of another so-called ”polariz- ing prism” (Nicol prism) which per- mits the light waves .to pass through in a. single plane. The color effects produced upon the screen were far superior to those produced by our friend Jack Frost in the Autumn. GUAEJI via 6. 5M {5&5 HAVE DECIDED lN - FAVOR 0F Ellblflli l‘lhihfififll‘" AND CALL [HAT GOOD dUDGhMEl‘iT-r EA» IS ALWAYS MILO AND ' LLO -- M—M-M-Mum- AND THERE NEE TWO 6 ‘ . OUNCE5 IN EVERY Tlhl. ‘mmm. ms, R. a hymn. Tam-co Company, wmms-im us. GENTLEMEN 0%” THE .lll N6 lNG fr RA. l5 PACKED up our. DOESN‘T mP-QUAUTV o BITE THE TOBACCO! R NGUE 9%} ‘ : :‘ r’ 4,. ~ : “WA RYT