Page Two ARMOUR TECH NEWS Tuesday, April 2. 1935 Armour ’l‘eeh News Student Publication of the ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY HCl CAGO, ILLINOIS Published Weekly During the College. Year (\éuhtstfialk’ . ”WSW, (Kr 13,15 \l/ . t Single Copies, I0 Cents Each 2. 00 Per Year“ MANAGING BOARD l‘lditor-in-chicl' ................... Russell R. Johnson Managing- Edilor ...... .Frank D. Cotterman Sports Editor ................ John 0. Larson Business Managci ..... Cyril L. DuSclI acuityi‘m Advisor. .Walter Hendricks EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT News Editor ........................... S. Kerchcr Malcc~11p Editors .. . J. J. Doudcra, M. B. Stevens Assignment Editors ........ N. Gerber, F. L. Lcuson l‘opy Editor .......................... (l. A. Zwisslex' ,, . J. liropl’, W. S. Hamlin, R. H. Knabe he i tir ........................... J. Galandak Assistants ..... O. H. Hampton, A. J. Roscn, P. Schultz I‘1'0ol' Editor ................................. N. Baiai Cartoonist . . . .J. Kichaven News Reporters .......... J. (l. O'Malley. H. Anderson, II. 0. Bauermcister, W. A. Chapin, G. B. Eng, B. W. Gainson, F. B. Harman, H. Heidman, M. J. Hmles, F. D. llofi'm't, R. Magnuson, J. Morozofl', M. Alexander, L. J. Parker. S. Itabinowitz, A. Schricber, J. Shcchan. S. B. Sills, R. T. Smith, G. Stober, E. I". Wagner, R Weissman. Spmts Repoiteis ...................... M. Alexander, .H. Beigquist, J. M. Kubert, E. J. Plcva, D. B. Rodkin, C. I). Rodriguez, R. Wmcester. BUSINESS DEPARTMENT lusincss Assistants ................... M. S. Alexander, N. Disenhaus, W. A. Hotzfield, W. F. Lindeman, S. Osri, E. J. Simek, R. W. Strauss, D. C. Timber- lake. Circulation Manager ................... R. M. Lundberg Circulation Assistants ................... C. Forsberg, E. C. Hoycr, W. F. Schreiber. Vol. XV. APR“. 2, 1935 No. 8 An AllnArmour Dance The announcement that an All-Armour dance to be given cooperatively by the four classes is being; considered is one that should arouse en- thusiasm in every Armour student. The idea has endless possibilities for development and should be accorded a rousing welcome. Let us hope that quick action and concerted effort will carry it through to a successful conclusion. Departmental Politics For as far back as anyone now in school can remember, we have been hearing periodic objec— tions to so called “class-politics,” which are, in reality, departmental politics. Every time a de- partment which is numerically stronger than any other masses its strength to elect one of. its men to class office, the rest of the class begins to growl “politics,” and when two or more depart— ments combine to put in their own slate, the objections are loud and prolonged. It seems obvious that each class should, for its own good, elect the men best suited to hold office without regard to their departments, and it is certain that the whole idea of departmental combinations is objectionable to most of us. But the fact remains that departmental spirit is stronger than class spirit. From the sopho— more year on, the divisions among the depart- ments remain unbroken; mechanicals come in content only with mechanicals. and it is only natural that when the time comes to select a class president, the man they believe to be best suited to hold‘ the post turns out to he a mechanical. So great is the bond among the men of each department, and so small is that among the de- partments themselves, that the desirability of any class organization whatever might seem doubtful. But there are many class activities at Armour that require some sort of an administra- tive organization. In settling the difficulties involved in choos— ing a satisfactory group of class officers, there has been a tendency more and more to resort to departmental representatives. Why not extend this plan to provide an entirely new system of class government? Instead of going through the involved depart- mental struggle known as class elections, which succeeds only in choosing two men to do all the work and four or five to bear honorary titles, let each department elect a delegate to a governing board which will handle all the business of the class. There is no duty of the present class offi— cers which could not be handled just as well by such a board. We should remember that we are in no way bound to continue as we have in the past; we are, on the contrary, bound to improve wherever we can. And there is certainly room for improve- ment in the present class governing system. v w VW‘W‘W vw wmwswiww “The Slipsticltf Cleave to "The Slipstick": let the Slapstick fly where it may. , N mm. mm. mm mm I wish I were a little can Away up in a. tree; A-sitti'ng in my little nest As had us I could bc. 1 wish that you would come along Anal stand beneath that tree; Then I would up and burst myself, And sputter thee with me! 11,1 3‘; 4! Diner: “Waiter, there is a button in my soup.” Waiter (cmprinter): should be mutton.” 11: Ill 11: Prof.: “I want a little attention." Voice from Rear: “You’ 1c getting as little as possible.’ :1 .. Chem. Prat: please.” Student: “I can’t say it, but it’s on the tip of my tongue.” Another Student: “My God, don’t swallow it; it’s or sonic!” 11 a 4: Chloe: “What you calls it when a gal gits married thrcc times—bigotry?" Mose: “Lewd, no, chile, dat's when a gal gits married twice. When she gits mat-lied three times dat’s trigonom- etiy. y :1: at :1: Sometimes When I’m all Alarm Walking (for My health) I Take delight In sign Reading. Aml cocry Time I ace Thc 07w “SHOES SHINED INSIDE” I wonder how They Do it. at: 14‘- :1: DUDE'S DICTIONARY BRONC‘S——-A section of New York city. CATTLE—A not used for cooking. COL'I‘wWhat you catch from sitting in a draft. CORItAlr—A sort of shell. COWBOY—A bull. HEIFER—A gentle breeze. LARIAT—«A kind of card game. MARE—A head of a town. OX—To question. RANCH—«A sort of tool. RODEO—Used for listening to broadcasting stations. >1: :1: at I think that I shall never see A “1)” as lowly us a, “g".. A “3” whose rounded form is pressed Upon the records of the blessed. A “1)" comes easilya-uml yet, It isn’t way to forget; “D’s are made by fools like me, But only God. could make a "B." a: 21: >1: He was in Chem. 111b,, and the prof. was explaining certain reactions to him: “This liquid turns blue it your unknown is basic, and it turns red if the unknown is acid. ” “Sorry, but I‘m color, blind,” apologized the brain trust. “Have you got anythingr with a hell on it‘!" i :1: in a: A college. may we would quote Upon a. little fact of now, "No wonder,” says he, "that we find knowledge In almost every modern college. The Fr ash can‘t help but bring some in, The meals don’t have it, to my chagrin." Clarence (The Poet). a: 95 >1: “William, what IS an adult?" “An adult is one thtit stops growing except in the middle. " é ‘ ‘1; Wit ‘ :5 Noise: Knock, kabck, knock. Pope: “Who is it?” Pope’ a chamheflain, a bit griped for having to wak his master evecy 1moinmg “Eight 0 ’cl,ock si1,and all is fair " Pope: “The 111011! and I know it, you may go" P. C.: “Yen an the Lord are two wise guys—lit i four o’clock and raining like hell.” 1;: 111 .11 - ,_ “My goodness,” exclaimed the stranger who had . dropped into the police court, “they’ve caught a pretty tough lot this morning, haven’t they?" “You're looking at the wrong- lot," said his neighbor. “Those aren’t the prisoners, they’re the lawyers." 1:: ti: * Profiz Student: “Aw, do it yourself, you put him to sleep. 'ir $ Xi: GRIT makes the man, The want of it, the chump. ’I‘he men who win lay hold, Ham; on and hump. A. M. “Typographicnl error, sir, it “Come, come, give me the answer, "Awaken that fellow next to you, will you?” 'l'llll STEAM SEEM/El. 1 CHUCK HANDLER has his tioublcs. While staggering around Indianapolis he dropped in a phone booth and called up one MINNIE TECHMEYER. And fun mall brow if he didn't git de right numbuh do furs! time. ROBERT KNABE would yet like to usclo table in order to find the perimeter of u 1 inch square bar. When the freshmen Chem. Lab students heard that there were two ' “slcz'rts” or the wrestling meat last Friday, the whole group of nosey nitwn‘s suddenly decided to root for the wrestling team. “MlSS” ADOLPHlNE CHRlS. . TOP“ lot out a piercing vociferous acknowledgement of the fact that he was unrprisecl by a small rodent. That must have been his way of starting to light because the rat bout it. THOMAS “SHOESTRING” GIL‘ KISON’S feet are so big he has to put his pants on over his head. SENOR. SPIKE RODRIGUEZ, the great “bull thrower" from Mexico, sure knows how to handle the woman. Can you explain how you yet. the lipstick 01!. your collar, "Spike"? NEAL SIM‘EON is looking for crucible tongs with a. mechanical diaudlvancagc. Maybe he ought to use cast iron flm-ence flasks or use the tongs only for what they’re made for. “HITLICR” ZEVIN is a. charter ‘mcmbcr of the Jr‘. Sol1m1'c1"11 famous "second hand mils club.” Notice is hereby given to the jan- itor to mine care of his cat, as “Headhunter" Sprague is blood- thirsty again. He stopped class while he tried to lure him into I) Mission, Tuesday. All “l-IANNS and Feet FISCHER" wants to know who feeds the gigan- tic mice running around in his classes letter Box I The Concert I would like to express my opin- ion and that 01' most of my class— mates on the proposed change of place for the Spring Concert and Intori‘ratcrnity Sing. The Spring Concert has always been. a. feature of Junior Week and a bright spot on the campus, and I believe it should remain so and not be taken downtown. 'llhc neighborhood when well lighted, as itnsually is on this night, does not present such an eye some as onc,mig1ht imagine. Any- one who has attended the Concert in the past can confirm this state- ment. . . '(ilnc'. of the features of the Con- cert in themust has been the Inter» fraternitycsi'ng. In. the event that the concert is taken downtowu the fraternity men would surely be ad- mitted 11m since they are an in- tegral part of the Concert. These men plus the men in the Glee Club and Orchestra would mean a free list of approximately 200. The men performing could not ask. very many 01' their friends to :come at the pro- posed price of fifty cents a person. Thus the afiair is taken away from the school and Junior Week, and placed more in *the category of a commercial production. Another . point is the fact that on the night oi.” the concert, the Hour» Cycles are outed to the ten outstanding seniors (This has a place on the program and would be out of place if the Concert is moved from the school pioper) I cannot see the improvement such a change would».b1:ing about. The present set-up: Junior Week; Spring Concert; Interiraternity Sing; Senior awards; is an ideal pro- gram. If the Concert :is .to be a student function it belongs on the campus. As a. parting shot, the Junior Formal follows on Friday of e S Fraternity Notes DELTA TAU DELTA Our ping pong team has reached the semifinals of the inter~fraternity ping pong tournament by defeating the Triangle and Pi Kappa Sigma teams. Ed Olson, Harry Gregg, Frank Gallagher, and the chapter adviser, H. J. Prebcnscn, are going to represent our chapter at. the for- mal installation of the new Delta Nu chapter of Delta T1111 Delta at Low- rcnce College in Appleton, Wiscon- sin on April 4, 5, and '6. Ray Bacci, chairman of the athlet- ic committee, would like to arrange baseball games with any of the other houses on the campus. Harry Green, national traveling secretary of the Delta Tau Delta fraternity, was a guest in 0111 house over the wcok~ end. The boys are all looking for- ward to the Dell; From April 13, which is given jointly by the chap~ tor of Armour and Northwestern at the 131111 Tabarin. TRIANGLE. Last Tuesday night we had our annual chapter inspection. Brother Gaston, National President presided at this inspection. Our baseball team under the able leadership of Brother Freeman is now getting under way. Practice will start this week. PHI l’l Phil Congratulations to Brothers Mcrz and Hcike! Two more for Honor A. Congratulations are also due to Pledge McDaniel on his selection as captain and manager of the Tech Rifle team. The Fathers and Sons smoker held last Friday, was enjoyed by all who attended. Pledge chenstreit gave an exhibition of magic to the delight of all the Fathers and most of the members, and Brother Kuke further entertained with his concertina. Brother Pflum dropped in at the house last week, and current rumors say that ho is 10 take the fatal step in the near future. He refuses to reveal either the lucky girl or the date. Pill KAPPA SlGMA Last Saturday night the house was filled with merry couples who danced away“ their cares to all the leading orchestras. (Over the radio). Ro- freshments were served and a good time .was had by all. . We want to congratulate Brother Bicglcr at this time as he was pledged. to Honor “A” last week. Singing practice is to be held at the-house tonight and from .1111 up- pearances it should be pretty good. BETA PSK Our ping-pong team was victori- ous in their match with Sigma Alpha M11, and ‘havc entered the finals in good shape. The final match will be played sometime this week, and we wish the team all the luck in the WOIld, With spring in the air we find ten- nis, baseball, and golf to be the favorite sports. Our new members have been seen outside in the famed lot batting the old baseball around. Reports also say thaL Orv Hampton has been out polishing up on the golf game. We hear that Ward James and Bill Hamlin find an outlet for their excess energy in the all time sport, tennis. Bristol claims he went home ‘last week-end to get some studying done, but we all question the integrity of the statement. RHO DELTA RHO Professor H. L. Nachman, faculty advisor of Rho :Delta Rho, spoke at a joint meeting of the alumni and active chapters held at the fraternity house on Thursday, March 28. His topic “Technics and Civilization” proved to be both timely and very interesting. After Professor Nach- man’s informal talk, a round-table discussion. was held. Both the actives and alumni are looking forward to Saturday, May 25, the day of the annual fraterni— ty dinner dance. The joint. social committee is hard at work; and the site and orchestra for the dance are soon to be chosen. the same week and since this is a severe drain on the student's re- sources, they could hardly take in both functions. Sincerely, J M. O'Connor. It seems that the past week was just one judgment after another. Therefore. some of the lads are “down in the dumps”; and others have been raised to new heights, TEMPORARILY, at least. A group of Prof. KREHBIEL’S water color artists, namely BAKER, BECKMAN, KICHAVEN, and C. SCHREIBER received mentions; whereas old FIRST MENTION VlEH-E—NAESS came through with a first, which we have come to believe, must no longer 'be a thrill to him. 11¢ 11: 1r The list of men, who rated on the junior project, “A Kindergarten,” is rather long; but let’s have your at- tention for just a minute because these men are worthy of recogniza- tion. In the mention. bracket were BECKWITH, CHIAPPE, KAPLAN, LISC'HER, OL‘SON, PFEE‘FER, A. SCI-IREIBER, STEIN, SUMNER. VAN SCOYOC, VIEHE-NAESS, and WANDMAYER. But the boys who actually broke through for firsts were C. H. SCI-IREIBER, and Wes WEITING. Andrew N. REBORI was the visiting jurist, and he bolt stored the boys up a bit when he said that their projets might be criticised as over—ambitious. He add— ed that this was an asset rather than a fault. This Social Science 401 as pre- sented by H. P. DUTTON has made quite an impression on Phil FARO. “Feel" even went so far as to com- pile the following motion study of one of the proton (Not H. P. 1).) who has the habit of walking con- sistently while lecturing: Time per trip, five seconds. Trips per minute, twelve. Distance per trip, eight feet. Total distance in fifty minutes, 4,800 feet. With a little practice this prof should find it simple to do the mile in fifty minutes flat. Even the best efforts of ADDIS, ESBENSEN, GRANGER, LEIBER- MAN, and NICOLAI could no]: pru- vcnl the invincible senior DOUBLE E Jugger‘muls from trauncing them 11 la. bushel-hull to the tune of 18-8. Young “Twick” D A V I D S 0 N crashed through in the soph projet for a first mention, and his class- mates, BECKMAN, NOBLER, SAL“ ETTA, and SCHMALTZ were “men- tioncd." We promised to give you the re— sults of the illuminating Society Prize competition good, bad, or in- different. Well, it wasn’t exactly good, except for Stew GRANGER who was the only ARMOURITE to get a mention. Along with the men- tion, Stew gets a semester’s tuition for the Beaux Arts in N. Y. The money won’t amount to enough to buy a new spring suit, but it is the kind of oday that DOES came in handy. Beginning with tho next issue ARX NEWS 1's going to giro you (architects who want. a. oracle at this journalism business a chance to show your stuff. Any contributions to this column will he gladly accepted, pra- vidcd they are fit. to print. If not, at least your ARX ucwscd might get. a chuckle out of your e/forts. Tho curb trib, box will be located of: Joe WAGNER’S desk. ‘We tried to take advantage the other P. M. of Charlie LIEBER~ MAN’S standing invitation to visit him and drink beer. However, we were greeted by a girl’s voice in- forming us that Charlie was not at home. Do you suppose that he could have disguised his voice just to keep us away? IE not, then it must have been. his sister; so we’re going fa try again. EAGLE EYE. This notice was found on s Cali~ fornia college bulletin board: “If the person who found the lock with the red knoll will meet. me it: the towel room at 2am F. El}. Monday. I will give him the ccmbizsation," .wW'ZF‘fv"