Page Two ARMOUR Amount Tech News Student Publication of the ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY CHICAGO, ILLINOIS ”ublishod \Veekly During the College Year «Q S - W... % my «ow vwmmww wuwy w‘ l “The Slipsticltw Cleave to “The Slipstick": lei l the Slapstick fly where it may. 52,,” Per Year Single Copies. 10 Cents Each .. “mm m A“, We are certainly living in a fast age. These are the l l l MANAGING BOARD l ,. . .1 , -, . g days of jazz, gasoline, static, white mule, wild women, h(:,i,::t,l:g(2;fmy ......... i ......... F :Ztigiéofflifinx whoopce, baloney, dominated by flaming youth, brilliant gym“ Editor .................. John 0_ Larson colors, and high speed. In order to keep.up-Wltl’l the Emmi“, Manager .......... _ .Cyril L. DuSell times, you have to be triplets, and work in eight hour i .. ......... ..Walter Hendricks shifts. The old order sure doth changeth. The old Al '7 ' ...... _ . Faculty ”mm i fashioned business man used to marry his stenographer ' V 1 with the idea of dictating to her after they were married. EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT News Editor ............................ R. S. Kerchel‘ Make-up Editors ..J. J. Doudcra, M. B. Stevens Assignment Editors... .N. Gerber, F. L. Leason Today, if they try to sell him a typewriter, he will say, “No, I am still paying alimony on the last one.” The old fashioned girl was harder to kiss, but it wasn‘t so dangerous. The parlor sofa wouldn't smash into a tree. ("OW Editm‘ -------------------------- G- A. ZWiSSlfll‘ She used to hang mistletoe over her door, now she puts Assistant. Kropf, W. S. Hamlin, R. H. Knabe a parking- light on her roadster. Formerly the price of a Feature Editor ................... J. Galandak good time was eternal damnation. Now it depends on Assistants ...... A. J. Resen. J. K. Morrison where you go. They used to say that he who dances must Proof Editor ......................... N. Balai pay the piper. Now you start off with the but check girl. Cartoonist . . J. KiChaVE.“ It used to be “Wine, women, and song.” Now it's “Gin, News Reporters - - . --------------- H- Anderson, janes, and jazz.” The other day a man was running down H. O. Bauermcister, W. A. Chapin, G. B. Eng, D. W. Gamson, F. B. Harman, H. Heidman, M. J. Ilodes, F‘. D. I-Ioifcrt, R. Magnuson, J. Morozoil‘, L. J. Parker, S. Rabinowitz, A. Schreiber, J. Sheelian, S. B. Sills, R. T. Smith, G. Stobcr, E. F. Wagner, R. Weissman. the street, and bumped into a lady. He apologized by saying that he was trying to get home with his wife’s new hat before the styles changed. What‘s it going to be like in fifty years from now? r. An old roaster out in California got out of his own Sports Reporters ........................ M. Alexander, yard, and into the yard of an ostrich. He discovered on G. H. Bcrlzquist, J. M. Kubert, E. J. Plova, R. WOl‘~ ostrich egg, which he rolled back into his yard. He called caster. all his hens around him, and said, “Sisters, I’m not tell- ,l ing you what to do, I’m only trying to show you what can be done." BUSINESS DEPARTMENT ‘ n: w m Business Assistants ................... M. S. Alexander.i N. Disenhaus, W. A. Ho .l'icld, W. F. Lindemnn, E. J. Simek, R. W. Sir s, D. C. Timberlake. Circulation Manager ................... R. M. Lundberg Circulation As s .. . ............... C. Forsbcrgl E. C. Hoycr, W. F. Schrcibcr. l IN MEMORIAM Lay him down gently, pom-(I to his soul. Horn line a student, your to his you]. Two hours on Monday, Tuesday our. No sleep on Wednesday, Thursday nom‘. .4 quiz (111. Friday, a. Saturday (lain, . Woke up on Sunday mmh too law. No. 3“, Wc'nl to school Momluy wilh aching head. Three quizzes rm. Tuccduy, ll'cdnr-sdoy dmrl. :l: ti: Vol. XV MARCH 5, 1935 :lzirrigfor z lichange ~ An artist who was cm Io ed to retouch a law e nint- The Armour l‘la crs are to resent next FYI—l P y g l’ y p ’ ing in an old church in Belgium rendered a bill for moo. day’ a program 0f one actplays. it 18 it) he h0ped i The Church trustees, however, required an itemized that those who attend Will realize the value as bill, and the following WM duly prewmcd and paid: souvenirs of the printed programs to be distrib— Adjusting the Stars ........................ $ 2.06 uted on this occasion, and will, when they leave Brightenine the flames of hell .60 the room, carry with them the playbill that was (naming Baluam’s as“ 5'06 given them when they entered. Gleam“? mom 1'10 , , . Correcting ten commandments ............. . . 6.10 A guest of the Players and the institute on Decorating Noah’s Ark ______________ ‘ ...... 650 this occasion will be a talented young actress, , Embellishim; Pilate ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 3_02 and our appreciation for the decorative effect she , Enlarging Goliath's head ................. 2.03 will produce on our stage should not overshadow ‘ ”tending SW1“? lei! -------------------- 2-05 our desire to let her do a little acting on it. ‘ Minding 5W” "0" Pro‘ligal 5““ """"" '35 The Armour players deserve a great deal more $31233,“0:31;:gfollrgzralfzmwfi)‘ """"" ‘ ‘ 30%8 appreciation from the student bOdy than they i Putting new tail on the devil . . . . . . ' 1:50 have received in the past; next Friday’s perform- 3 New tail on St. Peter’s rooster ............... 4.18 ance should show that a majority of the students l Reborderinil' the “31065 of Herod - - - 4 -- 1-43 have come to realize this. iRcmoving soot from Vesuvius ....... .. 3.12 ; Restoring lost souls .......... . . . 25.00 5 Renewin -- Heaven . €lass or Classy Dances? 1 Taking Spots off Tobias ...... igg An admirable understanding apparently exists l Washing feet of the high priest ............... 3.10 among the four Armour class social chairmen.1 As four age as last fall, the News announced thatl Tom] """""" 3y ' g,‘ j, """" ' """ $10000 the were lannin r t con 1 dc . 1 a i threby inprcturnlzfor0 the siervicedoif “fixztiiig’t’ ‘ PHo-NEY PROVERBS - 1 _ _ ‘ 3 Where there’s a Will, there's a law suit. one another’s affairs, every member of their l committees would receive a free bid to each i Armour class dance. . But beyond that, their opinions on the natural of the duty they owe their classes are strikinglyi similar. Their aim has been to present dancesi, that will be note-worthy for their elegance, theirl A11 are not gins that giggle, exotic settings, and the novelty of their bids andi Love is blondc. programs. Their adherence to this opinion hasl ’“ l ‘3 meant that the COSt Of Armour dances Of late hasl Man comes ingestligi:lfrl§bvlii’tli?uhtyhis consent and _ '. . . . . , i . ‘, z 223;; $1021:53:23)],thfiigefi6$5£v§ agavitggeniz , leavesit against hiswill. Whenhe is little, the-big girls , . ' ‘ l 155 him. When he IS big, the little girls kiss him. If he who might otherWise have attended. There has even been a suggestion that this is l to his country. If he makes a lot of money, he is dis- a desirable state of affairs; that it is better not to i “new If he is P001", he is a bad manage“ If he needs have too large a crowd at a dance. There might, 1 credit) he can’t get it‘ If he}? rich ”7,91”de Wall“ to of course, conceivably be circumstances in which ‘ :0 Elm a, fawn" If he 15 religious’ he is a hypgcnm' If the crowd could get too large, but never at a class i he ‘Oesn t {:0 to ‘Chulcyb’ he s a hardened Old-5mm? If dance. , 2 gives for charity, its for show. If not, he is a stingy player. It’s better to have loved and lost—much better. He who—who hc—who wherhe—aw, skip it! A miss is as good as her smile. A bird in the hand is bad manners. Familiarity breeds attempt. (Get this, you gals.) cuss. If he is affectionate, he is a soft specimen. If he A class dance, after all, is for the whole class, , dOESn’t care for anyone, he is cold«hearted. If he dies and not orgy should the price be such as to exclude young, there was a great future in store for him. If he no one, but the ballroom should be large enough lives to a ripe old age, he missed his calling. If he saves to accomodate the crowd. lmoney, he is a tightwad. If he spends it he’s a spend- . . , , lthrift. If he has money, he is a grafter. If he hasn’t Moreover, while class dances are an established got it he’s a bum. So what’s the use? feature of college life, and are recognized as ' ’ i= practically necessary, there is no precedent for] I used to be a wall—flower, but after I began to tell class drinking parties. Drinking at class dances l, jokes, they began asking me out. In fact, the other night is ordinarily nothing to get alarmed over, but i I had “my to” two jokes! Wren I was aSked out" there is no reason why it should be encouraged} $ to the extent of providing so much space for thel serving of drinks that dancing is not only dis, couraged but made well—nigh impossible. Armour students deserve a great deal of credit for the way they behaved under rather trying circumstances at the last dance. Perhaps now they’ve had enough of. the high life, and would welcome an ordinary dance at a price within the reach of all. 'Twas midnighb in the parlor, 'Twas darkness everywhere; The silence was unbroken— There was nobody there. a c s Isn't it strange how a man will chase a girl until she catches him? Anyway, marriage is like a cafeteria. You take the first thing that looks good to you, and pay for it later. Many a man who is a big; long at the office is only an insect at home. When you see a pretty girl you stop, look, listen. After you are married, you just listen. Early to bid and early to raise makes a man a—bridge Legal costs 5 active in politics, it’s for graft. If not, he’s no good‘ TECH NEWS l nook. sayisws By Martin J. Hades i Gold’s romantic story is very well l known to all of us, probably because l of the glamour which is attached to i the metal itself. But how many of us have ever given a thought to the l metal copper, and how many realize i that it, too, has had a history i fraught with greed, ambition, comA ledy, and tragedy? For the story of copper is amazingly dramatic, and in “Romantic Copper, Its Lure and Lore,” Ira B. Joralemon has fully caught the glamour of the story. The lusty life of the mining towns, the noisy dance bulls, and the gum- bling hells all enter for their full share of glory. The opening chapters deal with the ancient history of copper and the accident which reopened the bid- den wealth 01' Cyprus after it had remained in oblivion for almost two thousand years. Fate. decided that one i evening the girl of the hour, whom young D. A. Gunther was to meet in the public library before going to the theater, should be late. Idly turning: the pages of a book of ar- chaeology, a reference to the use of 1 copper by the Phoenicians caught his eye—and his mind. “Where had these ancients found their copper?” Before the evening: was over (and he was a most unuttcntive Swain that evening) a plan of campaign was made. The final result of a tardy date, the right book, and a theory was one of the world’s great. est copper mines. l , No less picturesque is the tale of ithe discovery of one of the. great- v’est Ore bodies in the Lake Superior , Copper Country. This time a low- ly pig is given credit for falling: into 1 an old Indian mining hole. and lead~ ling: a hard working; surveyor to a llodc of conglomerate copper which lliad much to do with the develop- lmcnl. of the electrical industry be— cause of its effect on the price of the metal. Another version 01' the ‘ discovery omits the pix! but upholds the accident theory. Whether the rpig‘ or science was at the bottom, 1however, the story Is an excellent example of the role Fate has played, in the development of copper min-l inn. ‘ However, all was not occidental in Llic early days of mining. Muchl lol' the business was in deadly earnv est, as excmplil‘ied by the chapter of the story on “The Richest Hill on Earth,” Butte, Montana. Ethics seemed to be unheard of. One case involving mining: rights stretched over a period of six years, involv- iing' in ‘the meantime many legal battles and actual underground war- fare between the rival factions. In the courts, bribery was openly resorted to. Decisions would be handed down; the higher courts would reverse them; they would he openly violated. For every case that finished the slow round of the high- er courts three or four new ones sprang up. It was a hopeless tangle. and injunctions, acting together, finally brought both groups to a point where there was no end in sight but bankruptcy. The inev- itable settlement was brought about by consolidation, and eighty law-1' . suits involving $100,000,000 were dis- “ missed. With the end of the battle, l romance at Butte was dead, efficien- , cy and dividends coming to replace lit. l In the final chapter Mr. Jera- llomon states that from a longer ‘range point of view the discoveries lof all the new copper mines have Lcome just when the added supplyi was most needed. As a proof, he re— i views the cycles of “fashions in linines” from the beginnings of thel l Copper Country to the present day. ' The word which would most ful- ly describe this volume is “lively.”i iIn his rapid, robust, picturesquel style, Mr. Jeralemon is slightly rem- iniscent of Paul De Kruif. an asset to any writer. The author has not, ‘ however, sacrificed accuracy for in-, lerest, for being a consulting engi». ncer, he has carefully authenticated, lall his material from an engineer’s} l viewpoint. i signer, is now a member of the foe—1 ulty of Rhode Island State college, Purdue university colors, old gold; and black, will be used on the Indi»‘ ana license plates for 1987. Thai cream and crimson colors of Indianal university will be the color motif of l the 1936 plates. l l l . I Sikorski, famous airplane de-, l l l Just another dizzy charette, and you can take it from yours truly that the seniors, with a few exceptions, don‘t know whether they’re coming or going. And maybe it doesn’t make much difference, because it will all be over this p. m. that is, the Illuminating Engineering Society Prize. Do you suppose anyone would mind if we didn’t mention that Mrs. GRANGER'S little Ind, STEWART 5. rated a mention on the R. K. 0., with his buddies, FARO, FORSYTH, and SIVEGAL rating half mentions? But if we failed to make a note of the baffling mystery of who sent GRANGER a Valentine, signed VlllR- GINIA, would scoffed at. . . .lt seems that stooges are all the rage these days, and who are these ARM not to be up to the minute with evorything't‘. . . .You answer that. . .But‘ seriously, it has gone so far that even Jack ALLEN has WANDMAYER stooging for him in Concu-ct'e....nucl not to be out clone Mr. BAKER of the fresh has his classmate. . . .WOOLSEY. . . that chap with the lNEVlTABiLE p i p e. ...shadowing him... .A nd from Bill CONCOLlNO we learn that the ARK inter—class basket-bull tourney is about to get under way ....Eoy, is there competition for that coveted lead pipell we certainly be You‘ll pardon us, we hope, if we return to the stooges for a moment. Just to act this straight: Is Bernie NOBLER haunting the SCIlREIB~ ERS or is it vice—versa??....l”.ul; for some unknown reason Gus KVAPIL, the sport~pagc athlete, and 2H SLAVITT rate a super-Stooge, l Tuesday, March 5, I935 Fisher to Continue Series {in Duehréng Literar ' man cla. minded students of Gcr— - have asked Professor ‘ llanns Fischer to continue the lec- tures on Eugen Duehring, which he bcirzm last Thursday. Since most of the members of the club who were present at the last meeting were chemicals, a request has been made for Duchring’s scientific works in chemistry and physics. Professor Fischer gave a brief autobiography of the famous man and his works on philosophy, re— ligion, mathematics, chemistry, phy s, and mechanics. who happens to be Ted HOFFMEIS— ’l‘ER. Ted did a neat bit of design- ing" and drafting: for these men, as well as a good deal of general crit- icisms to the rest of the boys. Mal FORSYTH, since letting his hair grow, has created a new past- timc in an old game. His latest hobby is hair—pulling. ...sounds a bit eitiminate....but not the way he plays....after he gets through with you, your head feels like a pin cushion. Lcsl we forgcl, ere mm of {he ju- niors {ours out our hair, we must mention. that Hwy also “chippctl in" for Mrs. GOODMAN‘S farewell gift. Also apologies for not mentioning that first mrmimis were mooriltd Kuhn, I'lcmll, Van Scoyoi: mu! Vivhc»Nu.css "y. lhclr “Own. Air Mnsctlms.”. . . . . ill/r. BENTLEY’S history class rc~ (’l'l‘l'(’(l 41 gill his! wee/.7 wlwn hARRY WWI/IT} wry (tonsirlm'almy postponcd lhv 815(1chan for a wcch. . . . (today’s 'hr' (lay)....’l‘his was (low so that ’hc class could (Ill(“)ld thc two loc- lm‘r'o given by Mr. C. Grant LA FARGE ..... (l yrmnincul New York architect Editors note: Any synonyms for the word stooge will be greatly ap- preciated, since it has been repeat- ed no loss than t. . . .) times. (Some ‘ dope is sure to count them). i EAGLE EYE. Bell System engineers long ago began to work out a way to clear city streets of overhead wires. The first telephone cables were crude affairs—a few wires drawn through a pipe. Continuous research brought forth improved designs, better manufacturing methods, cables of smaller size yet for greater capac- ity. The cable with the greatest nwnbcr of wires today—3636—is 2%” in diameter. More than 94% of the Bell System’s wire mile- age is now in storm resisting cable—«one of many developments to improve service. lilillllldl. @Ellildfimltlhlhlm ' . Mm