Tuesday, May 28, l935 sari; dmpwcs ., u. M... 31/ Orville H. Hampton West Virginia University recentl y conducted a poll to determine the size of the diplomas to Me g'iven next June. (After all, though, it isn’t the size, but the number that counts.) Instead of “Send~a-dime” it is “Send-a-dame." Instructions with the letter state that the receiver should “make a date with the girl whose name is at the top of the list, scratch her bottom. name off and add another one at the Naturally as soon as the letter got in circulation mathematicians set to work; and they figured that if each of the 10,000 males at the university co-operated there would be approximately 156,250,000 “dates” that would result from one letter. COLLEGE PIE A freshman is like a pie before baking. A sophomore in like a pie that is hall-baked. A junior in like a pic I; A senior in like a pie All the freshmen at the University of Maryland are required to work on the student paper one day a week. A new advance in intellectual pur- suits has been made at the Univer- sity of California, by the way. The coeds Auxiliary to the football team. have organizzcd a Women's The Concordia College student band will make a summer tour to Norway in 1935, under the auspices of the Normandsforbundet, an inter- national league of Norsemen. A professor who goes to a class five minutes early is very rare—«in fact, he’s in a class by himscl/l—-Nebraska Awgivan. X—CELLENT! X is the Roman notation for ten. X is the mark of illiterate men. X is a ruler removed from his throne. X is a quantity wholly unknown. X may mean xenum, a furious gas. X is a ray of similar class. X-mas is Christmas, a season of bliss. X in a letter is good for a kiss. X is for Xerxes, the monarch re. nowned. X marks the spot where the body was found! "Green Gander. (Ed. note: We can’t understand why they didn’t mention that “X” are what the hens lay.) NE W SEE—- (Continued from page 1) August. Coolness oi the summer cli» desirability of the neighborhood, an. unobstructed View of the lake, cleanliness, and attrac~ tiveness of all surroundings make the proposed location ideal. Old Site inefficient Armour has found that the present plant dating- from the Columbian Ex- position is glaringly inadequate and that the deterioration of the sur- rounding area is unsuitable for an institution of higher learning. An increased enrollment, it is thought, would increase- the efficiency of ad- ministration. Whereas only eight hundred students can be suitably ac- commodated in the day courses at present, an. enrollment of one thou- sand or an ultimate maximum possi- bly of twelve hundred students might result from moving to the pro- posed campus. Expansion of the summer session would spread over- head over an eleven—month year in- stead of the regular academic period of eight or nine months. No definite architectural design has been selected for the permanent buildings on the proposed site. In reference to the editorial in the Chicago Tribune, the building pic» tured in the Sunday Tribune was designed by a graduate student in structural engineering and architec» ture (not an Armour man) who was permitted to make a thesis study of a building adapted to Armour’s needs. Since the student’s study for an exterior has no bearing- on future design, there is no need to reproduce it. Designs for new buildings may but has too much crust. that ho.» soaked too long. -—Collegian. Junior Civils View New Turbine Sets The junior civils cast aside all academic work Friday and spent the whole day in an examination of the water works system of the Sanitary District. About 35 men began the actual inspection at the Loclcport power plant just above .lolict. The chances for seeing the actual ma- chinery were exceptionally fortunate since two new power units are being installed. These two units, incorpot rating all of the newest develop- ments in turbine machinery, will produce practically the same power as three of the other five units. These five have been about 30 years in service and have an efficiency much lower than the latest types. Most of the power produced there, is used {or Chicago street lights. Following this the Brandon Road locks were visited. This is about two miles below Juliet. Facilities have been provided here for, the in- stallation of a power plant and await only an appropriation from the proper authorities. The main function of the locks, however, is to maintain the proper level for ship- ping. A draft of nine feet, a width of 110 feet and a length of 600 feet are the limitingr factors in shipping along the water ways. he found through a prize competi- tion. Extensive Search for Site Made Search for a suitable site within a radius of a mile or two of the loop began more than two years ago. Stu- dents and members of the faculty in 1structural engineering and archi‘ ytecture made surveys of the present property to find the space that would fbe required. In ifloor plans were drawn as a basis of possible interior remodeling. in no instance was the result satisfactory and the tax burden of the rented space led to the discard of that pro. cedure. The present proposal does not preclude consideration of other comparable sites, but there are few places where the advantages of the Lake Shore site can be equalled. In searching for a new site, the administration set three require~ ments: (1) For the Students: The site must be accessible to the undergrad— uate and provide for him a stimulat- ing environment favorable to sound physical, technical, cultural, and moral development. Easy access to libraries and other cultural centers, and a wholesome and secure neigh— borhood are important. (2) For Service: The Institute must be easily accessible to the whole Chicago area. This is necessary in order that, through research and other activities, it can most effective— ly serve the industries of Chicago and have a part in their development. (3) For its Civic Contribution and Prestige: The site should be tifiable pride. Its setting and archi- tecture should reflect the function and idea which Armour Institute has maintained in the past, and will con. tinue to maintain. 1W0 €3,863 actual. one in which the city may take jus— . ARMOUR TECH NEWS @ldenhmg'er Gives Talk on fielutioit Dr. Rufus Oldenburgcr closed the Mathematics Club’s successful first‘ year with an interesting talk last,’ Friday on “A Simple Exposition of the Theory of Relativity." The lure» est audience of the year heard Dr. Oldenburger give a short summaryi of Einstein’s life, and the historical background of the development of the theory of relativity. It was point- ed out that one of the interesting features of relativity, the reduction in length of measuring rods movingr at extremely high velocities, was used as an hypothesis by Lorentz several years before Einstein wrote his greatest paper in 1905. Interferometer Explained An explanation of the Michelson» Morley-Miller interferometer experi- ment and the method by which it was used to measure the suspected “ether drift” was followed by the explanation that Einstein‘s theory is based on the assumption that the velocity of light is constant. Recent work by Dr. F. Peace, an Armour graduate, who is now carry- ing on the work of the late Professor- A. Michelson in measuring the veloc— ity of light in a vacuum, seems to indicate, however, that this assump- tion may be false, indications being: that there is some periodic variation in the velocity of light. Simplified Theory Dcvcolped A simple theory of relativity was shown as it could he developed in a one-dimensional universe. While the only motion in this universe would be backwards and forwards, geometrical construction using a “world curve" was shown to be nec- essary to give the relation of events in time. Theory is Confirmed One of the successful applications of the theory of relativity was shown to be the bending: of a beam of light in passing a large mass. Tested (luring: an eclipse, soon after the issuance of the relativity theory, the shift in the field of stars gave a striking confirmation of Einstein’s theory. SiflfithES—w (Continued from page 1) around the corner. Still, the books, for the most part, have been closed. JUST HOW are these events in- terrelated? if the small i'ry had control of the distribution of the in- come from gambling: and if, being in immediate need of “make-up” money, they should expect to apply the income to their needs, how could they meet the payment with the in- come not coming in“! If the big fry could not control the distribution 01' a large fund but could stop the source, and if they wanted to root out the thorne from their sides, would they attempt a squeeze play? How does this puzzle go together? WWW lint S'l‘lllilll snows. mm ‘ WWW Edward F. Hic’key has no fears of lens problems. He answers "Just use LENZ'S LAW.” A news item that was lost and printed here: H. S. NACHMAN and W. J. GART’J were formally initiated into the 0. 'I‘. W. C. some time last week at a certain hour. HARRY showed his approval by gently patting “SCRATCH" SKACH on the head with a T-square. After this enter- tainment—«is which some glass on a picture frame was broken ~— was served, and we hope a good time was had by all. BILL (”RAF was caught with his idiom. off in Rwy. & ley. Lot. in an interview, he revealed, “i take them all at, home and anywhere cse if poo» sible. i seem to sleep better." “Helm! Hunter" Sprague would be better off if he became chair hunter. Or maybe he ought to strap the chair to himself. M’REECE (the one) ire- turnod to his habitat lots! Friduy. l‘le sort of ruined the conaistcncy in the bald hem] row, but give him time, give him time. (He also didn't pay.) same Sez H. P. BUTTON, noted social scientist during: a sale discussion: “in most cases housewives are lonely and glad to receive a salesman to talk to." t???) We wonder if he talks as a man of experience. In order to improve his appearance for the benefit of Open House visi" tors, ill. i-l. Bothwell had his hair curled lie was uncertain at first but after a, few minutes of physical argu~ ment, he was induced to sit. still. Another lost. news article, but this belongs on the sport page: BILL. FLElG and some dame wres- tled to n draw in the Armour gym on Open House night. Bill used his favorite hold, much to the enjoyment of a full house. Party (Eliminates Year For Armour Players Last; Friday night the Armour Players held a private party in the Faculty Grill as a conclusion to the past year’s work. Thirty people were present, including all but two of the, women players of the latest produc‘ tion, “The Red Robe.” The evening;r consisted of a radio dance, entertainment and refresh— ments, feuturim: a chocolate covered cake with the name Armour Players written in icing across the top. 'lfloltiers Get Four Page Three i Wins at one Watch} Record To Date—Six Victor—l ice and Four Losses i l l l l - l i The Armour golf team deleatedl 1 South Side Jr. for the second time. by an 11%: to 6Vz score in an 187holcl ' match played at Ever-mean last Fri— | day. Larry Davidson turned in the day‘s low score with a 78, while “Three Cushion” Shanahan did somei l'fancy shooting all over the coursci , to not a nice 88. Bob Richards and i Bill Ahern shot 82 and 85, re- spectively, the former beating his man easily, while. the latter was not so fortunate. Despite the course’s re-i semblance to Guernsey heaven, andl the tall grass on the greens, the team was out to wire-and win they did. Davidson and Ahern Break Par 0n the whole, Conch Bibb‘s boys have been rather successful in their last seven matches, as they garnered four wins, one tie and two defeats. Tech beat St. Victor twice, first 151/1—21/2, and than 15.3. South Side and Wright were also trounced, the former as allaready mentioned and the latter 1212-5143. Larry Davidson was low man in the entire series, he and “Powerhouse.” Ahorn shooting the Kankalme Country Club course in three under par for the best hall in the doubles match! Teehawlrs Beaten by Loyola 0f the two defeats received by the 'l‘echman neither can “he considered a dishonor, as they certainly were administered by some pretty good} players, the Loyola team and the Armour Alumni. Loyola dropped them 11 to 7 in a 36~hole match played at; Southmoor on May 18. Armour lost the doubler: in the morning, 3‘/2~2‘z, and the afternoon’s singles, 7%»411/2. Grunt of Loyola had the day’s honors with 77, Larry Davidson and Frank Davidson following: with 79’s. At time of writing the results of the Wright game on Saturday were not known, but a victory is prac~ tically assured. If so, the season will The golf team has won six, lost four, and tied one. to date. Larry Davidson and Bill Ahern have been leading the pill pushers in their suc» cessful campaign. The tennis team, at plus six, minus two, is really going great guns. Bob Esbensen has won all ten matches he has played, and teamed with Lowell Lammers, he has nelped ac- count :l'or six successive wins in the doubles. Of course, six and two aren‘t: ten—the other two are prac— tice. matches with Chicago, which have been split. Incidentally, that Chicago B team was undefeated, and were promised tennis charms by Coach Stagg if they stayed so. But we did it—nasty, but such is life! Hanging; on to tennis, according to Manager Ed Scar], Armour beat De Pauw, who beat lndiana, who beat Purdue. This seems to rank the net- men as big ten calibre. And they beat the U. of C. B team! Dan Delve’s one-hit game last Friday would have been no hits, no runs, had not Johnny Roberts’ brother (or is it cousin) pushed a double out, fair by only one foot. Better get the rest of the Roberts clan at Armour, Dan. The indoor tournament is winding up with the winning-est teams bracketed. The Ch. E. 3 team put the Ch. E. 11 bunch out, 2L9, so the F. P. E. 4, E. E. 4, and the M. E. 4 remain with them at present. Bet it’s the Schmiers! '36 again, y’know. end with seven wins, four losses, and one lie. The defeats were suffered at the hands of Chicago, Northwestern, Loyola, and the Alumni, the superior competition lessening the disgrace of defeat. heroic wont These apoclol school and college rail lickcln, wivh their liberal extended m- Iumlimils,aroimmenseiypopularwiih and at great saving to students and teachers. When you're ready to come buck mm! Full, buy one and nave a: third of the regular two—way fares. Willie‘s you some $3in . Alfififlltlldt'mll EASTERN lllhllllltillltfld «@‘fififih $$gfilflfin it“ a ' w- Wllen Christmas Holidays comb. you can use the return coupon to travel home again. The ticket agent in your own town, or any railroad passenger repro- sonlative can give you full details regarding return limits, stop—over privileges, prices, ole. HOW MANY. TO USE A SAW ? 7 (or vouiil FELLOWS KNOW How WAND NOW ‘ ”THlS wP-v T FENCE .LBEM l no r—- . 1., o'LmE‘ll’w.‘ CRIMP CUT 2 _ (i specmt enacts: e, . mp‘QUALlT . TOBACCOS SOMEONE GIVE OF HVPERTEODHIC OF THE PYLORUSi .7 Copyrlghl, was 51 J. Reynold . d’i’ESNAL will”! ShiQt‘it‘. . . GENTLEMEN . CQN THE CAUSE ‘H '5 .rr ”3%); ,. STENOSIE NE PLU5 ULTRA ’