Page Four "H w (“Wt m CilyDLCRES .szc By Orville Hampton A freshman at Harvard University, noting a bulletin board headed “Dates fer English Examinations," remarked that there are hardly any functions to which a fellow can go stag anymore Will Rogers, America's favorite humorist, has been invited to attend the Rollins College founder‘s day exercises, at which he will be given a degree of Bachlor of Art of making., People Grin, Laugh and Guilaw. Despite the fact that beer is sold on the University of Illinois campus, soft drinks are sold in quantities nine times as great as the amount of beer consumed by students on the campus. in a survey taken at Milwaukee, pers [or herring. College it was disclosed that tennis1 players hold the highest scholastic averages of any ol the athletes. Thel If anyone is inter- ested in exploiting the Armour pig- cons, the News will be glad to dis- pose of back copies for similar pur- footballers came out on the bottom poses, 0‘ the lm‘ ,_ > AND MAYEESTHE'S RIGHT Statistics Show that Yale gradu-i “ l ‘ ([360 do??? ) ates have 1.4 children, while Va»; .4 at, "f .m’“ Manure can sar college graduates have 1.8 chilvicmwd' inconsiderate, spozlcd Chil- dren." said a waitress in the Harvard Union. That’s a damnable lie and an unmitigated falsehood (said a Harvard man). i Collage reporters at Columbia the street: and found that five out of six of them thought college students were loafers. dren. which proves that women have more children than men. Things not to tell the one and only (1') when you have her out: 1. “Gee, aren't you drcsucd up!" 2. “Why, you look so good I didn’t recognize you." 3. “Mother used to have the pret- tiest dress, just like thal." 4. “How do you. manage to have such odd-looking jcwclry?” 5. “You loolc like somcom: I've met; but it didn’t make much imprcssion. I can‘t think who it was.” 6. ”I see you washed your hair." (Georgetown) questioned people on The odorless cabbage developed at Cornell University recently should make swell cigars. Professor Klaus Hansen, 39 your old Oslo University (Norway) pro- fessor, is the first human to drink __ ten grams of heavy water. “Hell Week" has been abolished at many colleges, but not so at M. I. T. Pledges were blindfolded, made to feel sharp nails in a board which was put at the bottom of a step lad- der on which they were forced to Heard on the radio: “Alimony is the coupons oil' the bond of matri- mony.” (University Daily Kansnn) stand. The blindfold was removed, and the freshman allowed to see the studded board before the command to jump was given. One pledge, obeying the command, jumped and fainted dead away before his bare Dew u want to low to reed and rite this nu way? A professor at Catawba College in North Carolina advocates that the schools adopt his simplified system of spelling. Al- though on the surface it appears feet touched the points — made of ludicrous, there are many strong tinfoil points in favor of it. At Rutgers, one student had to‘ POME! carry 112 eggs wherever he went. His eyes were cloccd, his lips were , blue," Down in Laugh,” Skate unwell-5;. His rears, his nose, were u ruddy )llw. iv the southern gentlemen take their H13 “WWW! fancrs clutched his All the last one, hot’ knees (Strange M All a lonely wind howled in the trees. exams in style» chocolate was served. it seems, 21w article said mil-inc 0‘” His Man/rel gamed now ”wad/W» Huey Long. He must be slipping). thin _ he drew it upward toward his Five members of the Ohio State chin. faculty have been given positions in A" icing of snow lay on his haul (”10’s first crime “[1001, thh ’5 When, oh when. would he he dead? to give a short course in police ad- ministration. A tcar Slld forth from out his eye, It froze to ice ’faro it could dry. He dully moved his shrunken form, Ami prayed for heat in his frut’s The trustees of Muskingum Col~ loge have lifted a 97-year old ban against card playing and dancing by students, And we’ll bet that almost any day how they’ll hear that the Civil War is over. (Indiana Daily Student). Dr. Orestes H. Caldwell, 21 Purdue Alumnus, E. E. and editor of the magazine Electronics, stated, “Silent , radios will be the next step for the n A London man died recently be— lieving that the earth was flat. Well, it shouldn't make any difference to' relief of the broadcast audience. . him now that he’s underneath it— Future radio sets will have a sim— it’s all the same down there. . pie means for connecting a light University Daily Kansan. headphone or “bone oscillator” in (Ed~ NOtBI He was right. The place of the loud speaker. With earlh is “fiot"> such a bone—oscillator pressed i against the skull or teeth, one hears A one-eyed bee has been dl5“l perfectly, without any sound being covered at Iowa State University. present in the room. ' Only three or four have ever been4 known to entomologists. ‘ , New York University (N. Y. C.) i scientists have developed ,3 sound Left-handed students at the Kan- 535 State Teachers College (Em-i pox-la.) are protesting because there: they have listened to a weevil bor- alre no left-handed chalro provided, . . . _ ling into a gram of wheat. for them in the classrooms. microscope which magnifies sound 10,000,000,000,000 times. with it The Badger Club of the Univer— sity of Wisconsin believes in get- ting the hard facts. To test tme loves, the boys tele- phoned each other’s girl friends, asking for dates. The girls made a fair record. Three accepted the new dates; three would not go out with strangers; two evaded the issue; and oneifan the boyfriend’s brow—— I was already out on a date. The latest fad of students at Mark shall College (Huntington, W. Va.)| is raising chickens in their rooms.’ The nearest approach we have to, that here at Armour is raising H. . . ‘ about the pigeons in the classrooms. l The Campus, student newspaper] of the College of the City of Newi York, is making arrangements with: a fish dealer to sell back issues oil the paper to the merchant for wrap— ARMQUR TECH NEWS Engineers who think the Arx spend all their time designing tell caddies ought to take a look at the swell job of scenery designing Lis- cher, Kichaven and Addie have done for "The Red Robe", forthcoming production of the Armour Players. And for most of their other plays too, for that matter. The Architectural Department was duly honored when the Honor “A” society conferred the Honor “A" olword upon two of our architects, Bill CONCOLINO and Bob ESBEN— SEN. Bill won recognition. bécousc of his outstanding work in truck, and Bob received the distinction through his success on the varsity tennis team. We add, quoting John SCHOM- MER, "Milly they achieve in business the success thcy have attained as athletes." Hal SLAVITT making HM- PRESSIONS these days. To be more explicit, we mean to say that he is specializing malking DEATH is in news—e Continued from pngl l fraternities will make the move dur- ing the summer. President Hotchkiss, Dean Heald, and the other officers of the school are heartily in favor of giving this entire building over to the fraterni- ties. They feel that the school should act to bring the fraternities into clos— er contact with itself. This will also have two other advantages. The frav ternities will be easier to get to dur- ing vacant periods, and the running expenses will be less than they are on Michigan avenue. Several of the fraternities are very enthusiastic about the proposition. Under this proposed plan the rent which the fraternities pay will be used to rehabilitate the building. Twenty-four hour Edison service will be installed; the basements will be cleaned out, and lockers and showers put in; the porches will be painted and various other things will be done to improve the quarters. The facilities of the student lunch room will also be very convenient to the new location; and with the in—’ creased patronage it. may be possible to enlarge the lunch room to include room D. This would benefit the en- tire student body by relieving the. com prestion which exists at noontimc. The plan is not concerned about whether the Institute moves next year or later. Even MASKS of living subiecls. The two subjects ADDIS and Bob SAMUELS, ondl really they're not quite as (lead as: l thus far have been lrv‘ their masks would have you believe.\ This work will be exhibited on Open-‘ house night in connection with a} representative display of the work‘ of the Department. At the time of this writing the juniors were on charettee and at the time this paper is issued these boys will just about have completed their current projct, which this time is a “Park Ridge." They went to town on their last projet, and it wouldn’t hurt the Department one iota if the some performance were repent-cal. Just to make things a bit more? in- teresting the juniors were also con- fronted with o projct in clay model- ling. The problem was the design of a powder box and two cream jars. This may sound a bit efi'iminate to you; but before you snicker, con- sider for a moment the new trend of architectural work in industrial design. It more probable that is the immediate jobs of the young architects will be along such lines rather than in the design or con- struction oi" buildings. Bill NlCOLAl. the man with the incessant "Yes, man, yea, man." cried» no ml to persuade Charliol EEERSMAN to desert his class anal go out with him t'other day. FORTUNATELY for the senior class and their "HydroJElectric Plants,” Charlie takes his teaching seriously r! l alhl’omm ‘ WHEN A DOG SITE?) A NEWS “UM—£550 THE (€th I5E ‘Plcwes. _. sum , to 6'5 514 OLD (a hh.nl ., asses HAVE moves next year, it will be worth- while because the cost of all repairs that are made is to come directly from the rent that is paid in. (3'. C. Leon's to Speech to W S. E. Thursday At the Chicago W. S. E. meeting; next Thursday, the audience will hear a paper presented by G. G. Lewis on the subject “Residential Electric Rates.” This paper is en- tered in competition for the Charles Ellet Award. The public utilities field comes up again and again for discussion. and judgment cannot be passed without hearing both sides. Considerable dis- cussion us to the fairness of electric and gas rates has been brought about by governmental activity in the pub- lic utility field. Taxes paid by the utilities is one ground for private ownership; the government’s main argument is rates. Politics, of course, have to be considered. Mr. Lewis will present a brief analysis of the problems that are confronted by the rate engineer together with informa— tion on some of the recent develop- ments in electric rate determination. and therefore could not be lured away by whatever were Bill’s evil intentions! A gentle hint to the freshmen: Don‘t forget to wear those green caps, because such tboughtleesness might make the inevitable more urn— beamblc at either the F‘rosh«Soph rush or the subsequent A.A.S. initia- if the schooli SEEENCE NUTES i i A preliminary study of strata-i spheric conditions is being preparedl by the American laboratory of the National Advisory Committe for Aeronautics at Langley Field, Vir— ginia. Experimental equipment in- cludes a working section of a wind tunnel that will be eight feet in diam- eter, which tunnel will be capable of attaining wind velocities of 500 miles per hour. Drops of water containing oxygen with mass eighteen are being care~ fully collected by means of special dif- fusion apparatus at Manchester Uni— versity, England. The April issue of Electronics cor- ries an empirical formula for. deter— mining minimum list prices of radios. This issue also contains a discussion of the noise evil: it is interesting to note that ordinary conversation cre- ates almost as much noise as a busy street. l New metal radio receiving tubes‘ icontain only glass beads which are welded to an alloy, F‘ernico, made of iron, cobalt, and nickel, having the same expansion coefficient as the glass. The vacuum of this sturdy tube, which is appreciably smaller than the ordinary glass tube, is said to be permanent and is said to im- prove with age. These tubes will be incorporated in GE radios which will be announced this summer. , 1 There seems to be some truth in] “hear his wheels grind‘l”, for thinking ‘ produces characteristic electrical cur. rents. "Electro-Eneephalograms” are the graphs of these currents and these graphs are proving their value am the study of epilepsy. Crystallization of salt was per~ formed by the Chinese as early as ,2700 B. C. Except for the method of ‘collecting crystals on a string or twig, mentioned by Agricola in 1550, methods have only improved within ,the last 50 years. l To stimulate interest in funda- mental biological research, tlle Amer- ican Chemical Society has established a prize of $1000 and a bronze medal, to be awarded each year to a young man or woman who has done out— standing biological work. The recipi. ent must be under 31 years of age, and he is to be selected by a com— mittee of biological chemists. The first award was scheduled for the week of April 22 at the New 'York meet- ing of the A. C. S. The prize was es» tablished by Eli Lilly and Company, manufacturing chemists of Indian» apolis, who have also established a new, modern biological laboratory 6 containing 75 people in the research l, division. Reports lrom Berlin indicate that the Japanese have developed machine \guns firing 0075 projectiles per min- lute, absolutely silently, by means of l‘centrifugal force. Army engineers Tuesday, May 7, V935 Armour Chess Team hoses to N. Until-3 The Armour Chess team lost its return match with Northwestern University last Friday night, at Aim mour, leaving the record of the team at two wins. two draws, and one loss. There will be at least one more match this semester before the team concludes its yearly activities. Last Friday’s meet was marked by erratic play on both sides. The box score of last Friday’s match is as follows: ARMOUR N. U. l. A. Rune 0 1. M. Salgo 1 2. N. Gerber 1 2. E. Terrill 0 3. B. Wilhelm 0 3. W. Colin 1 4. G. Gulbis 0 4. R. Carlson 1 [5. R. Hello 1 5. R. Bernhard 0 6. E. Hurd 1 6. T. Sherman 0 7. A. Major-elk 0 7. C. Iiegarty 1 most simultaneously. The evailable energy in pure nitrocellulose, black powder, and gasoline, respectively, is 467,500 Kg-M, 291,100 Kg-M, and ‘ 4,760,000 Kg—M. Bearings that use water as their best lubricant have been developed by Johns Manville after many years of research. The bearing is a compound of asbestos, graphite, and water and finds its greatest use in the paper in- dustry where many bearings are sub— ject to wet contacts. Sulphur has made its way into the lubricating field. The Thomas and Hochwalt Laboratories, Ilic., of Day- on, Ohio, have developed a lubricat- ing liquid which permits metal cut- ting machines to operate at higher speeds and at the some time turn out better products. This liquid consists of a fine suspension of sulphur porn ticles in petroleum oil. A few years ago, in his trip to the Gobi Desert, Roy Chapman Andrews, famous explorer, discovered the first actual evidence of the so-called “missing link.” and also discovered fossilized dinosaur eggs. Recently, in Texas, fossilized eggs twice as old, 225,000,000 years, have been found, but the monstrous parent has not been identified yet. The ultimate strength test of an airplane is the “power dive.” In this dive, the plane is taken to a high al— titude, and is then set in a vertical power dive until the terminal velocity is reached. The pilot then levels of as quickly as he can. In one instance the speedometer broke at 425 mph; the centrifugal force shows an ac- ccleration of as much as 275;" (gr-532.2 >. An interesting method has been de~ veloped to prevent bacterial decay of "bagasse," the tough, fibrous pulp left after the sugar has been extracted from sugar cane. Bagasse is used for the manufacture of film-cardboard, and during the three months’ opersts ing season of the sugar mill, this fibre, is produced faster. than it um be used. Storing this material led to the problem of avoiding; (loony. Now, the fibre is stacked in bundles, where the heat is generated by bacterial tion, both of which are dangerously,have long been toying with the idea fermentation is sufficient to kill the l close at hand. J. L. \01" using gasoline in machine guns, ‘if they could only get its energy al- bacteria and to prevent attack by molds and fungi. mam WTE A Both m 30'!” H 5“\ THE 51' ART! E5 > . i: 36‘ l i NCE ALBERT A D i, Tor-Quinml‘omoco 11AM amid. aim. "BITE" Wood prioil panacea N i‘l lllll'iy ll uv WILL 3E 5W1? NEWS -‘ BUT THAT DOE-29 DO 5 NAME ' ‘ i ‘y’ .A‘ , " Fonyrizht, was R. J. Reynolds Tobacco Company. WinstonSslm N. \ 7‘ ”FE/if; “of '8 i W“ N'T MEAN THE if» " . POTE’. AHEM .’ //’