Page Two ARMOUR TECH NEWS Armour Tech News 1 Student Publication of the ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY CHICAGO, ILLINOIS Published Weekly During the Collette Year www—w wwwww wwwwwww ”The filipsticls” Cleave to "The Slipstick": let the Slapstick fly where it may. .1... m - l» «~11 “~14 162.00 Per Year Single Copies. 10 Cents bath MANAGING BOARD Editor-in-cliicf ..................... Russell R. Johnson Managing Editor ................. Frank D. Cotterman Sports Editor .......... John C. Larson Business Manager. . ..Cyril L. DuSell Faculty Advisor ..................... Walter Hendricks EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT News Editor ........................... R. S. Kerchcr Makeup Editors. J. J. NDoudera, M. B. Stevens Assignment Editors . .Gerber, F. L Leason‘ Copy Editor... A. Zwissler Assistants .J. Kiopf, W. S. Hamlin, R. H. Knabs Feature Editor ........................... J. Galandak Assistants ..... O. H. Hampton, A. J. Rosen, P. Schultz Proof Editor. Cartoonist . . . . N. Balai . .Kicliaven News Reporters .. ............... H. Andezs: 11, H. O. Bauermeister, W. A. Chopin, G. B. Eng,B . W Garrison, W. Graf 11. B. IIiar,1nan M. J. Hodes. F. I).IIoffe1£,R Magnuson, J. Mortzni‘i. C. .J. O'Malley, L. J. Parker, S. Rabinowitz A. Schriebe1. J. Sheehan. S. B. Sills, G. Stober , E. F. Wagnei, R. Weissman. Sports Reporters ........................ M. Alexander. G. H. Bergquist, J. M. Kubert, E. J. Pleva, D. B. Rodkin, C. D. Rodriguez, R. Worcester. BUSINESS DEPARTMENT Business Assistants ................... M. S. Alexander. N. Discnhaus, W. A. Hotziield, W. F. Lindeman. S. Osri, E. J. Simck, R. W. Strauss, D. C. Timber- lake. Circulation Manager. . Circulation Assistants C. Hoyer, W. F. .R. M. Lundbcri,r ...... C. I’orsberg, Scbrcibei MAY 7,1935 The “Engineer”—and Something Else Announcing that consideration is being given to a plan for widening the scope of the Armour 1 filnyinoer, an at ticle of great importance to every Armour student appears in this week’s News. The Armour If iiginccr has longr been a source oil considerable puzzlement to many of us. We linci The reason thai some houses are so clamp is that. We‘re ‘ is so much duo on them. . up eagerly to receive our copy on its publication date; we admire the bright new cover; and we “No, Dora, ‘The Red Robe' Riding Hood wore." To lino, that when thy summons The innumerable caravan that moves To lhoso hollowed halls where each shall take Hi3 rightful place in that lofty realm of ’l‘hcspis. Thou go not like the quarry slave 111‘ nig 1t, .Sconrgcd to his dungeon, but, sustained 11nd soothed tcim [“1 on unfullening lr,11sl approach (he ashore- Showing lhy/ lhiry-fi've 111m cpistlc of admission, Last than .112 heaved 1111071. thy our, and thus llilssclh THE RED ROBE. By William Cullen Bryant and E. 11: >1 11 11: a1 Three hours of math, an hour of U]LG’I1L., No sleep, and then a quiz. To be (I’ll Armour Engineer This weary lot was his. H11 studied long, he studied well, .1111 studied all night through. He thought. it wrong, he thought it hell That this he had to do. Then came the down, he wont to class, He took one final look. His Inc/c was gone, hc didn’t pass, He’d studied the wrong book. 1: 11-. a» SPRING FEVER * 21‘ 3‘6 x1 as :9 Guy: Is that candy pure? Druggial: As pure as the girl of your dreams. Guy: Gimme a package of gum! is sir 1: 111 a1 :1: 1'1 s w 1-: 11-, VOICE OF EXPERIMENT skim through an interior obviously the product Dem Voice of Expeximent: of much patient care. But somehow, we don’ ti ever seem to get around to reading it. Can a man tell if a woman loves him? is not what Little Red Armour Mon mom get flying course, reads A. T. N. headlines. As if all the courses here don't keep us up in the air. '11 :0 muomzq noK ‘siu'l [1129.1 01 .IGAO ofind aqq mm, noK ,11 An Armour fieshman wanted to sue a doctor who 011- 1 dances crated on his father, for opening his mother’ 5 male comes to join J. “I once sold my most embarrassing moment to the ‘ ”11117; bugle 101' $2. 00 ” “Have you had any more since then?” “Oh, yes. There was the the when my wife found it in the Daily [Kw/11,1.” Doubtful. The members of the new managing board of De“ DWMW] the Engineer now propose to do something tol give their publication at little more interest to its readers. And it is obvious that if they succeed in making it of interest to 2000 alumni, they] ‘will have taken care of its student readers as; Yes. but he'd be a darn fool if he did 1r 11 :11 >21 1: 11 Did Mike Pantone really kill old man Goyetche? See l “The Red Robe." ”well. “There was a hanging at the jail the other day but l they couldn’t find the rope. While they were waiting all However, alth0ugh we may anticipate from! the prisoners started singing.’ the proposed changes in its form a considerably; more readable Engineer, we must not lose sight of the advantage a quarterly publication reach— log all of Armour’ s alumni would be to the school. The whole idea is a fine one, and Harry Nachman 1, and Howard Milleville, who head the new Engi- near board, are to be congratulated for their DIO- gressive spirit in championing it. Today, the entire student body, theoretically,i becomes acquainted with the proposal to revamp the Engineer. What will its reaction be? Sad, in- deed, to tell, but there is little difficulty in answer- ing that question considerably in advance. Stu- .dent reaction will be neither positive nor nega—1 tive, rather it will be nil. Armour sometimes appears to harbor in its bosom as phlegmatic a group of young men as could be assembled anywhere. They take no in— terest in their athletic teams; a bare fourth of them are able to tear themselves away from their pinochle or report writing to do honor at a much— heralded assembly to those who have represented them on the playing field. Their interests are not cultural; so vital a question as Whether or not they are to be soaked fifty cents for an annual musical concert can evoke even an expression of opinion from less than a third of them. They care not for politics or world events; peace strikes and rod uprisings rage about them while they knot their brows over calc problems. The tiny voice of the Tech News attempts to arouse a “I-Iow touching. They vsanxr somL hymn, I suppose." “No. They sang ‘Tbe Lost Cboi d’. " 11$ 4.: What does Sydney Miner know about Pantonc’s girl friend? See “The Red Robe.” ,1 11 .1, ANOTHER THING THAT COVERS A MULTITUDE OF SINS IS A TABLOID REPORTER. ill in * Believe It Or Leave It This Armour sfndcnt loves to war/5, His dnlics he will never Shirk. He lilacs to spend long hours in lab., About assignments he won‘t crab. You ought to see him do his trio, His math with him goes over big. He coon likes a long comm, Long hours for it he will cram. All night long at Chem. he’ll go, He prefers it to a show. In classes he is sure a wow, Hc Icnows the answers, boy and how! He turns in papers by the ream, That’s no studentv—that’s a professor’s dream. 1“ ’ll W Where did Professor Hendricks get that lipstick on his collar? See “The Red Robe.” . . a, First Pickpocket: Watch out Bill? Second Pickpocket: Yep. Now for the wal- let. ~ 11: 1: He came in and sat down alongside of her. He was a clean-cut, athletic, good looking young chap. She smiled at him. The place was deserted. In a low tone he said, “Phase give me what you gave me last night.” She hesitated, looked wildly about her and then in a loud l l Fraternity Notes Ml DELTA TAU DELTA 1‘ Delta Tau Delta extends congrat- ulations to Beta Psi fraternity on its installation as Alpha Phi Chapter of Pi Kappa Phi. We trust that their future. history as a chapter of Pi Kappa Phi will be as illustrious as their past history as a chapter of Beta Psi has been. Final plans are being completed for our annual Founders Day Banquet celebrating the granting of a charter of Delta Tau Delta at Armour. The banquet will be held May 10 at the Architect’s Clubl. Our intersfrater- nity athletic teams are rounding out their practices in preparation for the coming intervfraternity contests. Brother Schorling, graduate of last year, has just obtained a position as chemist. with the Wilson Western Sporting; Goods Company of Chicago. Brother Schorling was formerly with Swift’s. 131.11 191 mu Saturday night, May 4, the Phi Pi fraternity held their dance at 5‘ l Thorne Hall on the McKinlock Cam~ pus of Northwestern University. It was one of the biggest and best of the year for the frater— nity. This was the first time that lam} fraternity on the campus has held on open dance; apparently it. was 11 success, for one hundred cou— Iples were present. The music was lflnnished by Jack Blaii and his 01- ! chestra. l ruin/111113.11. 3113111111. l 1 At a icccnt election the following officeis were elected foi the ensuing ‘Willium Harrison Fogle.. ”President LWillium Harrison Savazr e Vic p1cs1dcnt .Louis Lange Jr ........... Secretaiy Treasurer i If you have your fears about be- ing able to stay married, see “THE 113]) ROBE” and learn from Mike Pan-11mm. It’s the fourth time that Mike and one Mary Russo played husband and wife together. . . .and they’re not divorced yet. Mary is also making a habit of it. In almost all of the plays she has taken part, her role has been one connected with death. In the ”TALE OF TWO CITIES" she was murdered by Mike and in the play this week- end she will kill the examining mag- istrate. Yeosir men, real live girls again. No more will we have to contend with hairy, muscle-bound legs pro- truding from a silk or velvet skirt. “STRONGARM” BERNSTEIN al- ways (7) a gentleman, certainly knows how to assist women off the stage. . . . He probably got the cut on his chin while rehearsing his act. . . . After this, CLIFF CARSTENS wil. be more careful about the kind 'of‘ water (??'l) he uses when he plays "church on fire.” . . . Anyw'w he helped the clothing business a lit- llo. Harold Heidman got a nifty bump on his knob. He claims a window is to blame. . . .most likely a bedroom window. BOB WORCESTER got himself a “drag" by playing nursemaid to SAMMY BIBB’S daughter. . . . and 1shc’s sown, not seventeen. Prof. Vngtborg says that; if all the bacteria in a stein of beer moved in the same direction, the stein would From the looks of' things, ‘ move. little feeling, anyWheY'e 0f any klnd 31001113 any- i voice suddenly called out, “Sunnyslde up on toast anna1 they C10“: have; In Shag?“ line" thin}: and the best it can do is draw poisoned 1 cuppa cawi‘ee.” darts i'row a few social committee members r " Whose own corns have been slightly stepped on.‘ JuniOl‘I I just got a check from home. Well. well, we’ve stepped on everybody’s corns Senior: PW, me, the five d‘mm's you ”we "’9' 110W, and If the student body IS not really and, Junior: Wait ’till I tell you the rest of my dream. truly as lifeless as it seems, we shall, at any rate, get a few letters to the editor this week without having to assign a reporter to write them. :1: :41 it Are all politicians dumb? See “The Red Robe." :1. :1 >1 CON-F‘U-TS E. ‘; other being “downed.” I BEG YOUR PARDON I, It was erroneously stated in last week's Stowmshovcl that BILL GRAY chauffeured a trustee around. It was i the tr’ustees mothei in- law and now BILL \vill p1obably get {lunked outl of: school. W1 Bert Louis Thornton . . . . . Warren Richard Erinkman. . . .. .. Sergeantnat-ai ms ...... . . . . . . . . . . Sergeant-nt-alms The first game on our schedule in the Interfraternity Baseball Tourna— ment was played yesterday with Theta .Xi. The follows are eagerly looking forward to the Senior Fare- well Party and the Chapter Picnic which will be held' in the. near futule The bridge patty '01“ the Mother’s Club promises to be :1 success. It will be held May 13. RHO DELTA. IRE-l0 The much looked forward to an— nual dinner dance of Rho Delta Rho is to be held on Saturday, May 25, 1935 at the Electrical Club in the Civic Opera Building. Music for thisi gala aifnir is to be furnished by Dave Cunningham and his Towne Club 01- chest-.121 Unusual novelty numbeis and a floor show will be presented Judping flom the enthusiasm showed by both the active and alumni chap- ters, the dance promises to be bet- ter' than the previous successful an‘ nual dinner donor-'1. At the la: 't meeting of the alumni, held on Tbulsday, May 2, Brothel Sid Colo gave a very interesting talk on “Mechanical Power Transmission." After the talk, a general round table“ discussion was held. Sim-MA ALPHA. MU Sigma Epsilon of Sigma Alpha. Mu takes pledging of Martin J. Hades ’38 Melvin Schuman ’38. Plans have been completed for the. Spring party of our chapter to be‘ held on May ill at the home of Gus Freund. A large group of the alumni have signified their intention of at- tending and all the members are look ing forward to this affair. pleasure in announcing the Tuesday, May 7, I935 Senior Chemicals See Cement Manufacture Last Wednesday, the senior chem- icals inspected the Universal Atlas Cement Company at Buffingbon, In- tana. The group was conducted by thiec company guides and Professor arr. The company makes special ce~ ments as well as portland cement. The whole factory covers 200 acres and has a pier 60 feet wide which are tends a mile out in the lake. The Chemical and Physical laboratories were also inspected. ! Most interesting of all were the battery of rotary cement kilns, which are the largest pieces of rotating man 1 chinery in modern industry. They are longer than a residence lot, large enough to drive ah automobile through, and weigh mme than 9. mil- llion pounds. If erected on and they would be as tall as a 20-story build- kmg. i More Volumes Learned ‘ to Evanston School 1 Fourteen volumes from the Ar- lmour Institute of Technology lib- rary “Race Book Collection" have been loaned to Evanston Township lHlipjh School for exhibit dining its leelebtation of the tercentonary of l secondary education. l The books loaned are from a col- llection of early books in mathema- ”1 co and science. Among the books are four works of particular interest ‘rleecribed by the British Museum 1, Catalog. i ;:~,—.:-——v——"—m———.__ __——,..————-.__—- To Stanley Bernstein and Gus Freund we extend our congratula— tions. Gus was: recently pledged to Sphinx and Stan received his fourth rllilelic sweater award for swimming at the last assembly. This young lady records the meaningless syllables Spoken. by the man. ND, "How does kib like that?” Such questions sound senseless—~yet they play an important part in making articulation tests on new types of telephone apparatus at Bell Telephone Laboratories. In making these tests, 6336 meaningless syllables are epoken-«uvbile observers record what they hear. Comparison of sounds actually spoken with those beard, shows how well the new apparatus reproduces the many sounds of which speech is composed. Such thoroughness is typical of Bell System methods. Years of inventing, improving and testing have led to the apparatus which transmits your words 51‘ clearly. Why not say ”Hello” to Mother 6"“ Dad i‘miight? Bargain Notes on sm- tiona-m-staiion calls after 8:36? P. M l $2, lll‘z‘allllllllit EEWEE’EEAEMIE