Page Two Armour Tech News Student Publication of the ARMOUR lNSTiTUTE OF TECHNOLOGY CHICAGO. ILLINOIS Put-“shad VVeeklv Durlnz the College Year ‘23 Newspaper , , ‘ ”to Single Copies, 10 Cents Each ”1" "1* Per Year MANAGING BOARD ..................... Russell R. Johnson .Frank D. Cotterman ...... John 0. Larson . ...... Cyril L. DuSell ............ Walter Hendricks Editor-in-chief Managing Editor ...... Sports Editor ........... . Business Manager Faculty Advisor. .. EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT News Editor ........................... R. S. Kel'c‘ner Make-up Editm . . .. J. J. Doudera, M. B. Stevens Assignment Editors ........ N. Gerber, F. L. Leason ..................... . .G. A. Zwisslcr .V. J. Kropf, W. S. Hamlin, R. H. Knabe Copy Editor. . . Assistants . Feature Editor ........................... J. Galandak Assistants . . 0. H. Hampton, A. J. Rosen, P. Schultz Proof Erlilox ........................ N. Balal Cartoonist ................................ J. Kichaven News Reporters ........... M. Alexander, H. Anderson,‘ H. O. Bauermeister, W. A. Chopin, G. B. Eng, B. W. Gamson, W. Graf, F. B. Hiarman, M. J. Hndw, ARMOUR TECH NEWS wwww ”The hilpstick” Cleave to “The Slipstick": let the Slapstick fly where it may. «aw ww Mg mm or». A“ AWN» . .m A». mum mam; The wearing of the green upon an empty been, ls hardly as embarrassing As punts removing is hurrussmg. So be discreet, and Wear the green. Diner (examining bill 01‘ fare)-~Chicken croquettes, eh? What part of the chicken is the croquetle? Friend—L‘s the part that goes on the table last. 3i: it =l= Lecturer——Allow me, before I close, to repeat. the words i or" the immortal Webster— Listener-~—I’m goin‘ to get out of here if he's going to start in on the dictionary. i ... it x; lst Collegian—I‘m a little still from bowling. 2nd Collegian—Where did you say you were from? $14 :- x< Son-«Dad, what is meant by the “board of education?" DadHWell, in my time. son, it was a heavy shingle. l 4h ’F Judge—What’s the charge against this man, officer? l OfficerHVagrunL-y, your honor. He was looting around F. D. Ilofi'erl, R. Magnuson, J. Mortzoi'f, C. J. O’Malley, L. .1. Parker, S. Rabinowitz, A. Schrieher. .l. Slleehan, S. B. Sills, R. T. Smith, G. Stobel‘, E. F. Wagner, R. Weissman. Sports Reporters ........................ M. Alexander, G. H. Bergquist, J. M. Kubert, E. J. Plcva, D. B. Rodkin, C. D. Rodriguez, R. Worcester. BUSINESS DEPARTMENT Business Assistants ........ .. ....... M. S. Alexander, N. Disenhaus, W. A. Hotzheld, W. F. Llndeman, S. Osri, E. J. Slmck, R. W. Strauss, D. C. Timber— lake. Circulation Manager ................... R. M. Lundberq Circulation Assistants ..... C. For-sherg, E. C. lloyer, W. F. Schreibcr. Vol. XV. A Free Press. “Congress shall make no law . . .. abridging, the freedom of speech or of the press.” Thus the makers of the constitution guaranteed a right which newspapers have jealously defended ever since in the face of evcry sort of onslaught, real or fancied. But in those days “freedom of the press” was much more clearly a blessing than a street corner all afternoon. Judge—Ah, impersonating an officer; 30 days in jail.‘ its ‘F #4 Swas——I wish I could be a great doctor. I'd like to be a bone specialist. ’l‘ika—~You‘ve got a good head for it. ii: Pl.7 VF Doctol‘w—Aftcr this treatment you ought to be able to sleep like a baby. Patient—.Not like my baby, I hope. 2: ’l: m Bonevizer—Is it true that your wife has brain fever? Mdvani—Why no, but she‘s got the next thing to it. Bonevizer—«What’s that? Mdvani—Hat fever. 9 ‘I‘ fl SLOW BUT SURE Dad went courting slow but sure With buggy and with horse, But when he hitched he hitched for sure And hasn’t been divorced. )k w A girl from the city was visiting on the farm and was watching with great interest a six-weeks’ old calf that was nibbling the grass on the lawn.” “Tell me," she said, as she turned to the farmer‘s wife, “does it pay to keep a small cow like that?" , v: ax: v. Laura—Why don't you sue him for breach of promise? it is today. It is possible that what modern Americans need is more freedom from the press. i, it is certainly true that a democratic form of“! government depends for its existence on the; free expression of ideas and the free dissemina— tion of knowledge, and that autocratic dictator— ships have always feared to allow a free press. But the modern American newspaper is of such a nature as to severely complicate the seeminglyl simple premise that every man has a right to:: Lucile—l would if I had a decent photograph to give to the newspapers. a: 1% Neighbor—«I presume that when your son went to col» lege, he w innoculated with the love of learning? Father—Yes, but it didn't take. xy 1% x: to have hair as white as snow? Grandpa—Yes, and now it‘s your. 017 f’ .1. l i Little Henry—«Say, Grandpa, is it true that you used Little Henry—Who shaoeled it 7r :5 express his views in print. l, A high official at Washington was taking: a trip by in the first place, a daily newspaper withl modern big-city lic opinion. In this respect the newspaper is almost a law-making Instrument, but 1t 18 not a 1 calls it cough medicine, sail!” , l lid * democratic one at all. The policies of the news— paper are, in the end, those of its owner, he is its owner only by virtue of his having sufl‘i— cicnt money to buy it. He is not an officer of the government, he has not been elected, the] people have never expressed any desire to allow him to decide how things shall be done, but he nevertheless wields power enough to make many elected ofiicials tremble in their boots for fear of ofi'ending him. But in spite of all this, the newspaper un-l dcniably furnishes a “check upon government which no constitution has ever been able to pro- vide.” It is to be expected that the power of a newspaper will achieve some good, especially when journalists almost universally recognize a high ideal of service to their readers. But it i" just as much to be expected that a great deal of load will be done too, and Such has been the case. We are faced at this very moment with the spec- tacle of a Whole chain of newspapers using every influence to push us into an unwelcome war. a ‘task which they no doubt undertake with con— siderable confidence, having succeeded in it at least once before. “Are newspapers then, something which we can’t get along without but which, if We retain them. will ruin us‘.’ Perhaps not. Perhaps the ‘fit'llutlon to this paradox is even now beginning t‘o} make itself known. If we should learn not to, take the press too seriously, if knowledge of its weaknesses and its prejudices should cause ‘tl‘dg‘gto listen a little more warily to its wild har— angu'ings, perhaps its power for evil may be broken without loss of its power for good. 9 " a‘ t mendous» _ , . affiliation h 5 re 1 bottle of linimcnt in it and I dont want it broken. power and influence; it presumes to “mold” pub, and 3 train the other day and when he handed his grip to the l porter he said: Be extra careful of that bug; it‘s got a The porter smiled in a knowing way and answered: “‘Yes, sah, Ah’ll look out for it—only mcst gentlemen 1. l DICTIONARIA l Affidavit—scriptural phrase —— (Goliath started atti- ( davit.) l Omelet—a good egg in Shakespeare’s works. Negligence—dressing gown (female). ‘ , Zeus—liquid in fruits. Vinegar—five on each hand—(e. g., your vinegar 2”) Deceit—to remove chair from behind unwary indi- ' vidual. l Maneuver—fertilizer—(She was only the horseman’s ‘ daughter, etc., etc.). t “Stop sucking '3: * Sam?" Dentist: “Which tooth is it that hurts you, Pullman Porter: “Lower five, suh." 71; 1b if AWAA—-— “Hellol—Hello! Mrs. De Smite? that the mistress will not be home tonight. promised to call and I’m very, very sorry." Voice from the other end of the wire: “Could I speak with the mistress for a moment?” “She isn‘t home.” “Then who is this telephoning?" “This is—eh-uhfithis is my maid.” >l= 5! 3" “Your wife needs a change," said the doctor. “Salt air will cure her." The next time the physician called he found the Scotchman sitting- hy the bedside, fanning his wife with a herring. I want to tell you You had >l¢ ‘3! *1 | “What do you do when in doubt about kissing a girl?” 1 “Give her the benefit of the doubt.’ . Fresh asks the profgssor :1 vex; profound question. Professor—“Mr. W—, a fool can ask a question that ten wise men could not answer.” . l Fresh—“Then I suppose that‘s why so many of us : .lunk." W. G. low... lwhich took place last Thursday eve- ‘ time, enjoyed the last meeting: of the‘ l Fraternity Notes H M v lPl-ll KAPPA SlGMA ' The Spring Alumni Smoker, ning, was well attended. Twenty— seven of the alumni were present but. ties the whole active chaptcl'J: The evening was spent in cards and , talking over old times. The refresh-l We predicted in this space several merits served were greatly enjoyed: weeks ago that Johnny KOSSUTl-l7 Our baseball team held a practiccl would be one of Coach KRAFFT’S game with the Delta on the same: regular twirlers. And gosh dern if day. We are anxiously awaiting tth he didn‘t get out there and really opening game in the iota-fraternity. make the grade as a first stringer. series which will probably be hcldi The odds were against him as he next Monday afternoon with Theta“ went in to pitch for the chhawks Xi at Armour Square. ‘ last week, but just watch his smoke —v—~ :as the season warms up. Another BETA PSI l of our beloved ARX, Harold HAW- April 15 an election of officersl LEY, is also on the pitching staff, was made for the next school year.l but was laid up last week when a The following men were clectodn line drive to the ankle proved more President, Cyril DuScll; Vice Presi—l than he, could TAKE. dent, Editor Johrscn; Secretal'y,i William Hamlin; Treasurer, Harryi, Perlcl: and Sel'TPallt 3“ arms, Thom— as Watts. Myron Stevens was ap- pointed social ch-airman, and Orville Hampton our slop; leader. Baseball practice is gaining head~ Speaking of baseball we must mention the modest confession that that he was in the pink for the sea- son. His first time at bat yielded no lclls than a home-run; and hir- way under the management of Bro. work on the pitching mound was thcr Bristol. We were defeated. m spectacular, when “Her striking out the hard fought finals ot the plngl the first ,wo men only eight mm, pong tournament by Delta Tau Del~ were scored. Such performance is really COLOUSY. a. Congratulations are in order for Brother Stevens, who was pledged 1.0 Pi Nu Epsilon, honorary musical fraternity. We are glad to hear that Brother Hahn is oonvalescing after his appendicitis operatirn :l 'ev‘ Don’t be mislead by what has been said into thinking that all the ARX are doing.r these days is playing the national pastime, because the boys Tuesday, April 30, V935 arealright in there hitting the bull ln their academic work as well. ‘ Fl'rinstance, there are a number of things such as projets in design and modelling, archeos, and lhe like on the fire; and any of the ARX will ‘tcll you that all play and no work won’t get them done. Mal FORSYTH claims that lim- oherm dates are very economical and proves this by stating that the fairer sex consumed exactly 42 cents (tax included) worth of food in two Shall. engagements. Do you suppose the girls were light. enters. or is it just (mother of those traditional Scotch- man yarns? Lowell Lamlrlcrs is an excellent spinner of yarns as will be verified by Prof. Secgrist’s class in Mech. Equip. of Bldg's. Lowell gave his second annual dissertation on the mechanical equipment and automatic operation of elevators. He was lim- ited at first to speak only twenty minutes, but his fellow architects Mel GROSSMAN made who“ he said. enjoyed the lecture so much that re~ : pcated ertcorcs kept him talking for the full hour. And, we might add, his talk wasn’t half bad! l i To prove his versatility Lowell continued the day's activities by winning his team’s match in great style. And not to be outdone, Bob Esbensen likewise won his match to ; prove his ability as a racketeer and thereby adding new Inurels to the achievements of the ARK. EAGLE EYE. weeks ago. l ——~ l hopes of repeating the victory of last TRHANGLE ycm'. Luck to you, Don! Brothers Lyford and Scott were The house golf team is taking: the Armour chapter delegates at the shape under the guidance of Brothel" National Convention of Triangle,‘ Dunbar, and they hope to capture which was held at the Edgewater the cup that was just missed last Beach Hotel, last Thursday, Friday year. and Saturday. We all had a rfood Don’t forget the Phi Pi Sprint! \time at the dance which was held Dance to be held Saturday at Thorne in the balcony of the Marine Din— Hall on McKinlock Campus. Bids ing room, Friday night. {are only one dollar, so come one, Brothers Brennen and Munt, oficome all. South Dakota came in Monday.I They stayed with us until Thursday,l when they moved down to the hotel.l DELTA. TAU DELTA We wish to congratulate our ping Brother Oncnbcck, of West Point, pong,r team for winning the inter- i‘m'mcl'ly of our chapter, was1 fraternity ping pong,r tournamcn‘ hr awarded a three month cruise with} defeating the Beta Psi team. Mem- thc navy. l bers of the team are, L. Davidson, _. lJ. Davis, F. Engelthaltcr, and W. Pill l’l it’ll-ll lLaise. Several of the brothers, who had-l Preparations are being made for n’t seen each other for quite some“ the annual May 10th Founders’ Day banquet of our chapter. it will be alumni which was held at the house ‘ held at the Architects Club. Brothers last week. iJim McAlea‘r was in to visit us at Brother Gregerson is organizingr our new Shelter. The new Shelter his champion baseball team with is very satisfactory and with the |Architects working on plans for modernization, the Shelter will prove to be the most attractive on the Campus. The track and baseball teams have started practice and we would like to arrange practice meets and games. RHO DELTA .RHO l We take great pleasure in arr- rcuncimr the pledgeship of Louis Sierral ’36 to the honorary chemical fraternity, Phi Lambda Upsilon. The following men where formal- tly initiated at the last fraternity l meeting: l Rubin Horwilz. M.E., ’36. ‘, Sydney Miner, M.E.. ’37. l Leonard Sorkin. Ch.E., ’37. I The new men as well as the fra- lternity proper are working their hardest to make the coming affair, the annual spring- dinner dance a success. Both site and orchestra have been tentatively decided upon ‘and are expected to meet the ap— l, proval of both the active and alumni chapter. 2.2% , N \ p\‘\ TUNE IN whilekios ow on the air Saturdays, with THE l'lil'li‘ PARADE, over NBC Network. 8 to 9 p. m. E. D. 5.1“. 7:f'::ur,y-..» ., .