Page Two

Amour Tech News

Student Publication of the

ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY
CHICAGO. ILLINOIS
Published Weekly During the College Year

\
“2%

     

  
 

:24") Per Year Single Copies, 10 Cents Each
‘ ________.,__,..___._.._._

MANAGING BOARD

    
  
 

Editor-in»chief ..................... Russell R. Johnson
Managing Editor ......... .Frank D. Cotterman
Sports Editor ........... John O. Larson
Business Manager ........ . . . .Cyril L. DuSell

. .Walter Hendricks

 

Faculty Adviser .........

 

EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT

 

News Editor ............................ R. S. Kercher
Make-up Editors... .J. J. Dcudera, M. B. Stevens
Assignment Editors ........ N. Gerber, F. L. Leason

Copy Editor ........................... . A. Zwissler
Assistants ..V. J. Kropf, W. S. Hamlin, R. H. Knabe

Feature Editor ........................... J. Galandak
Assistants ............. A. J. Roscn, J. K. Morrison

Proof Editor.. ................. N. Balai

  
  

 

Cartoonist .. .J. Kichavcn

News Reporte'. .......................... S. L. Ender,
G. B. Eng, B. Gamson, 0. Hampton, F. D. Hof-
fert, F. B. Harman, M. J. Hodes, J. Morozofi, L.
Parker, A. Schrciber, P. R. Schultz, J. Sheehan,
B. Sills, R. T. Smith, T. Specr, E. Wagner.

 

 

Sports Reporters ..................... M. Alexander,
G. Ii. Bergquist, J. M. Kubert, E. J. Pleva, R. Wor—

ARMOUR TECH NEWS

 

Library Collection i

Sweilenl by Gifcsl

Since September 1, 1934, the Ar-i
iuour institute of Technology Library
has received 162 books as gifts from
faculty members, students, and
friends. In cxpim—‘ssiny,r appreciation
for these gifts, Miss Steele, the li~
braxrian, said. “Each year we are in-
debted to the members of the fac-
ulty who give us the publications of
their professional societies."

Some of the books that were re-
ceived from faculty members are- six
titles in economics from Professor
Dutton; “Anthony Adverse" by l'IOlll“
vey Allen from Dean Heald; several
titles in the field of mathematics from
Professor Krathwohl; “America’s
Tragedy" by J. T. Adams and ”For~
ty-‘two Years in the White House” by
l. H. Hoover from Professor Lock-
ling: Volumes of publications from
professional societies, many of them
completing some incomplete service in
the library collection, and miscellane-
nun volumes of fiction were donated
by Professor Penn. Several volumes
of periodicals also came from P.1'ot'esA
sor Rocsch. A student in the, Eve,-
ning' session, Mr. Norman Sautcr, do-
nated several volumes of “Times."
friends are numerous. The Gillette
seated recently to the

wwwvwwwmw ‘ “WW

a “The fiiipstlflit”

Cleave to “The Slipstick": let
the Slapstick fly where it may.

«up-u ‘v‘w w

 

 

mmmmmmmmm m

 

Well, well, here ’lls just ’iwthcr semester.
5k 1 5?
HEARD IN S. S., .
“What would you suggest to help bring a return oi
prosperity?”
“The horse, sir, bring
will soon be stabilize(.”

back the horse and the country

- . -‘i=

“What’s Wrong, Henry?” asked his mother.

“My razor,” boomed the voice from within the bath.
room. “It doesn’t cut at all."

“Don’t be silly. Your beard can’t be tougher than the
linoleum!"
3?! 9';

Two girl attendants at the cigar counter were discuss-
ing their last customer.

“Did that tall, handsome travelling man that you were
talking to over there in the corner take a Times?"
“Now, he didn't buy a Times but he took a lot of Ln).
crties.

:t

 

it )7: e
The rain it pom‘crl,
The 8(’(L if roared,

The sea. zoos draped in black.
The old ship rolIczl,

 

cester.

 

BUSINESS DEPARTMENT

Business Assistants ................... M. S. Alexander,
N. Disenhaus, W. A. Hotzticld, W. F. Lindeman,

 

 

 

 

E. J. Simek, R. W. Strauss, D. C. Timberlakc.
Circulation Manager ................... R. M. Lundhere
Circulation Assistants .................... C. Forsberg,

E. C. Hoycr, W. F‘. Schreibcr.

Vol. XV FEBRUARY 19, 1935 No. 1
Farewell

With this issue of the Armour Tech
News, a new stall” takes over the pub-
lication of the newspaper. The men who

have directed its activities during the past year
have no longer any direct connection with the
job of getting it off the press, but in a sense their
connection with the paper has not been broken,
nor has that of the men who have gone before
them. On the contrary, for the News today is
what they made it, and every one of them has
made his contribution.

Since its modest beginnings seven years ago,
the News has steadily improved, and it has been
the privilege of the new managing board to see
it under the guidance of two groups whose con-
tributions are among the greatest of all.

 

i

If the News, in the next year, improves asl
much as it has in the last, we will be able to re-l
tire conscious of having done a good job. i

 

At any rate, we look forward to a pleasant year,
for our staff of assistants is certainly one of
the best. We are fully prepared to believe the.
statement of the retiring editor, made at thel
banquet, that when our year is up, we’ll be sorry i
to leave. l

Assembly

Perhaps the greatest of the features of
a busy week for Armour will be the an-
nual Washington’s Birthday address next
Thursday by Dr. Preston Bradley. Every—
one who knows anything of Dr. Bradley,
and in particular those who heard his address
here three years ago, anticipates one of the most
enjoyable meetings of the year.

We confidently expect that Armour will enjoy
Dr. Bradley’s talk, and will show him every
courtesy in appreciation of his being present.

Finaiei

Closing one of the most successful sea-

sons th cy have had in many years, the
Armour basketball team will play Indiana
State Teachers on the home court next

Friday. The game will start at 8 P. M., and the
freshmawsophomore dance is scheduled to beginl
about an hour and a half later, so the team mayl
hope to be cheered on to a victory by not only
all 01' the Armour men, but their young lady
friends as well. 1

both the game and the dance promise very well
for an evening’s entertainment, and we trust
that full advantage will be taken of both.

 

 

1

She pitched and bowled

And lost her charted track. ,
“Oh dear, oh dear!

Sir, will it clear?"

Loud waited a dame (m. (loch.
As he braved the [end
The skipper said:

“It always has, by hub."

:11 it: 9;

friends are numerous. The, Gillete
Publishing: Company was the donor of
25 volumes in the civil engineering
field, and Mrs. Joseph 'l‘rudcllc .furA

 

lil‘llli STEAM SlillVElI

 

 

 

 

A tombstone in an English village cemetery has the fol—
lowing epitaph: .
“Herc lies a miser who lived for himself,
And cared for nothing but gathering; pelf,
Now, where he is or how he fares,
Nobody knows and nobody cares."

 

 

For the past administration~iu~
. . , _ , .. eluding; us—this is the swan song.
THAT—4t it is dangerous to drive in a (on, especially it And if in the past we’ve committed
it is mental.

THEY SAY

l
l
l
.
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l.
.
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H H _ .. < f 1 any oil‘enses (unintentional) ......
illAI—-lt would he better for the times, ll semi. o tu , excuse it, please! About the ident-
“ch” men were bank cashiers. ‘ V 01- “us” ““““ well, if you know

 

THAT—A diplomat is a man who convinces his wife that the open secret, you just know it,
' a woman looks stout In a in) con: h 1 . ‘ k that‘s all; and it' you don’t know it,
l‘l'lAFFholl is about the only t mg L at (tpicua (.1 you’re sure enough not missing:

, ab”)? par. , , l l' b"! muchl To those 1'cIIOWS——and ladies
FHAI‘AIho pcdestilan 13 the one u m nects automo l(. ——who’ve been the fodder and dirt

’ insurance. , . . , , , l‘or our Steam Shovel we wish a lot

FIIA’l——l.ovc at tirst sight is posstble, but It is always 01, good luck; and to those fellows
well to Wllm oil the spectacles and take a second look. who’ve had the good luck to avoid

TI'IAT——SCI‘(‘L'IIXHg a Motion Picture doesn't take the trash
out.

THAT——Perl‘cct poise is not lookincr self‘conscious in a
rumble seat.

TllA’l‘«(‘.(nmpetition may be the life of trade, but it is
the death of profit.

TllA’l‘wThe man who tried his hand at something and
failed might try his head for a change.

'I‘I'IATwYcu can't keep a good golfer downtown.

SO THEY SAY!

2;

our unsolicited publicityl. . . .we wish
,continucd good luck. . . .And now.
l—vtakc it away, pail

i
l

 

 

l

l

H i
This may [)0 old news by now, [ml
l/IMI, maybe old now like oltl r/Lccmr
....Wcll anyway, it seems 1110]. an (1
I rcccnl trip of the lmctlcollmll ‘Icum
l JULIAN (LOVE AND KISSES)
l (l'LEl/Y of H10 liuslmllmllt'rs‘ fighlin,’

i [wish trio of O'BRIEN, O'LEVY, mull

A boy in college, being: in need of negotiable funds, sent“ (Y‘CONNELI‘, cemented him‘gd}. ”Midi
his father the following letter: WIN). It cm'l‘ttm [armors daughter by;

“Roses are red, violets are blue the nllmc of MARGARET MURPI‘IYl‘

Scull mo ten dollars, and I’ll owe you.” .mm- unmet/Ml. A” Of WM" 7’7“”)‘5'9'
In a few days he received the following reply: [hot when, “”0 “WWW” ”f ’ {/r‘cm"
mrrl. . . .uwll, mature lakes its 001472211!

l

 

 

v;

 

 

 

“Roses; are red, roses are pink
Encloscd find ten dollars, I don't think."

a

 

l

And Al (Lug-an) Lauchiskis dcm—l
onstrated beyond a doubt that most
of his 200 lbs. or so is composed of
high quality sponge. . . .when he
soaked in five malteds, two banana
splits, and a chocolate soda—all inl
the space of two hours”

Skenographer: “Your little girl wants to kiss you over
the telephone.”

Busy Manager: “Take the message. l’ll get it from you
later."

Jimmy (smart boy) : “Let’s play Adam and Eve."

Johnny: “How do we do that?”

Jimmy: “You tempt me to eat your apple, and I do.”
a a a

 

What‘s this um hear about RAIL—i
ROAD BILL GRAY drawing picturesi
“College certainly has made my son over.” (mom?

“I suppose you can hardly recognize him.” i
“No, he hardly recognizes me." T0 HQEd Meeting of 1
Chicago Physics Clubi

Student in E. E. 41;: “Print". Nbsh, I could work the
problems for today.”

Prof. Nash: “Yes, I know! You couldn’t work them
alone, so you grouped up and tried to work them. Then
you went to a junior E. E. and he hadn’t bed the mav
tcrial, and a senior E. E. couldn’t be expected to be able
to work them."

The fifth regular meeting of the
Physics Club of Chicago will be held
today at 7 P. M. in the Engineering
Iauditorium, 205 West Wacker Drive.
The club is composed of teachers of:
physics and men interested in thel
. ; applications of Physics to modern in-l

A professor was delivering an address before a groupi dUSU'Y~ l
: l' business men. At its conclusion a manufacturer joined: The Speaker 01" ti“? GVCHlT‘Q Will be i
issue with him. Mr. Willis H. Carrier, chief engineer;

“Science is of no benefit to me,” he insisted, 0“ the Car Engineering COl‘l?<)l‘il- .

“What is your business?” tion. Mr. Carrier was awarded thel

“I manufacture suspenders.” medal of the American Society oil
“And where, would your business be," the next question. MCChaHiCal Enuincers in 1934 in rc-l
“it the law 01' g'x'avify was , spen(le(l‘,‘” cognition of his pioneer work in the.

3 ’5 field of Air Conditioning which will.
be the subject for his address. l

Armour students who are interest- ‘
ed in attending should see Professorl
Thompson. Only limited space isi
available and must be reserved in;
advance. ‘
‘ There will be lectures on Cosmic
fRays, Physics, and Public Education
at future meetings of the club.

 

 

 

 

 

 

He last (be game:
No muffler for Mai——
Ho [rcpt his temper,
I-Ic swung his ha! ,
And (‘hcw'crl [he 'It'innm'si i
A bcHrr way,
Thou to lose his fc'mpcr
Aml win. the (lay.

 

 

R. H.

library by .

Tuesday, February l9, W35

Tlllisfiilhh

__.—.,——-I——-;

. WITH THE. TA‘SK OF

THE LARGEST _ COLLEGE ARTILLEKY
, PS IN MAEWCA. \T |S THE
,ONLY ONE CONlPlETELY MDDRIIED

LADDER!

l

. <_,

l

   

nishcd x tit es in psychology, biol-
ogy, and chemistry. Mr. John M.
Humiston presented the library with? guuges that are now available in the
miscellaneous periodicals, part oil library, of especial value in training-
which were the early numbers of thcl them, and in broadening: their knowl-
Amcrican Telephone and Tclcuruphledge.
Company publications that were of Last semester, a librarv CD'fiL'I‘Oi'
great value in completing; the library‘; McAdam’s “Heat Transmission" hvas
collection. Host by one of the junior on :a'cnior
Through the assistance of Pro-"wrychemical students. Realm E the
em' Fischer, instructor in the French i value of this book, the junior chom-
and German languages at Armour.l ical students have subscribed ten
the library has alm secured twv cents each which sum will he supple»
French and two German pubic: ionz-a; montcd with money from the “usury
namely, “Art——-lndustric", “L’Art c‘ . oi’ the Junior Chemical Organization
Les Artistes", “'l‘rchnik l'ur AllN’.‘ to allow the purchase of a new book.
and “Wisson und Fm'tschril‘L”. It i4? This book will then be donated t.) the
expected that the fr, iign languaevllibrai'y.

and the several books in these lan-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

9
The Telephone ”can liaise Elli???

Your telephone must work 24: hours a day. it
must be immune to icy blasts of the frozen north
-—dry burning heat of the desert—heavy, humid
atmosphere of swamp lands.

And it is. For Western Electric-manufacturiug
unit of the Bell System—«secs to it that telephones,
switchboards and cable are Prepared for life any—
where. Through long experience and rigorous
testing, “telephone engineers have learned how to
make apparatus which is
not adversely affected by
the whims of climate.

Through pioneering and
producing such improved
apparatus,Wcslern Electric
contributes to the year
”round reliability of your
Bell Telephone service.

EEEHAEL ’Eb’iflliilliblldbblhi