Page TWO ARMOUR TECH NEWS Tuesday, November I 3, I934 um Per Year w W V W WW WV '0 WW WW WW ‘W Armour Tech News 3 r Stu dent Publication of the 0 a ?9 ARMOUR INSTlTurE OF TECHNOLOGY 5 as t HICAGO, ILLINOIS i Q Epgtlfi Published Weekly During the College Year a l Cleave to “The Slipstick": let l ‘ 9 the Slapstick fly where it may. l J“single Copies, 10 Cents Each m .. MM no». a. m mm . MANAGING BOARD Editorvin-chief ................. Managing Editm ..Edwin N. Searl Richard D. Armsbury Sports Editor .......... William B. Ahcrn Business Manager. . ...... Robert J. White Faculty Adviser ..................... Walter Hendricks bDlTORIAL DEPARTMENT L News Editor . J. Beckman Assistants ....... . ........ F. D. Cottcrman, R. R. Johnson, R. S. Keichcr Copy Editor. . .................. .O. P. Freilinger Assistants .......... V. J. Kropf, H. S. Nachman, G. A ZwissleI PIooi Editor ....... ‘J F. Humiston Feature Editor. C R. Bristol, H. Levin Assistants. EditOIial Writer ................... . . Columnist ............ . ...... Stall PhotographeI News Reporters.. . . J. J. Doudcra, S. L. Ender, E. W. Engstrom,J. Gal< andak, A. M. Galler, W. G. Gartz, W. S. Hamlin, F. D. Hofl‘ert, R. H. Knabc, J. Laskicwicz, F. Leason, R. A. Peterson, M. B. Stevens. Cub Reporters ............ R. T. Duffy, G. B. Eng, S. E. Evanofl', B. Gamson, 0. Hampton, F. B. Har— man, M J. I-Iodes, L. Langc,J. Morozolf, N. Gerber, L. Parker, A. Schreiber, P. R. Schultz, J Sheehan, B. Sills, R. T. Smith, T. Specr, R. Weissman. Assistant Sports Editor ......... J. 0. Lemon Sports Reporters ................... ..G. H. Bergquist, J. M. Kubeit, E. J. Plcva, R. Worcester. BUSINESS DEPARTMENT Circulation Manager ......... R. M. Lundbcrg Circulation Assistant . . . . .E. C. Boyer Advertising Manager .................. C. L. DuScll Business Assistants .. .. ..N. Disenhaus, R. H. Hedin, W. A. Hotzfield, W. F. Lindcman, E. J. Simek, R. W. Strauss, D. C. Timberlakc, F. A Wertzlcr. Vol. XIV. NOVEMBER 13,1934 No. 8 A Plan To Be Considered In the senior class meeting, held last Wednes- day morning, there was brought before the senior class a proposition which in our opinion deserves further, serious consideration and finally adop— tion in some form or other by the class of 1935. The plan was presented in a tentative form by Mr. William N. Setterberg, Personnel Officer of the Institute. and in brief has the following gen- eral outline: In order to reach the market for engineering college graduates in a more thorough manner, the senior class should print a booklet for each engineering department, in which would be a single sheet for each graduating man of the department, containing certain important infor- mation about the man. These booklets would be sent to various industries of the country and especially in the Chicago area who hire or should hire engineers. The plan in a sense is a pub- licity and advertising campaign for the graduatn ing engineer. The booklets would bring to the attention of the proper official in each industry the graduating class of Armour and serve as an introduction to the men who might consider hiring engineers. When the booklet is published there would be published also extra sheets for each man, which could be used very conveniently in any letters of application a senior would write. Of course, there are many details which will have to be planned to make certain the success of the enterprise. Some of these are: the exact make-up of each individual sheet, the method of acquiring this information, the cost of printing the booklet, and the apportioning to each student the cost of printing and mailing. This last item raises the problems: Who shall pay for the booklets and should every senior be required to be a part of the plan? Obviously, there will be some few seniors who will not need this service, such as the senior fire protection engineering students, who are under contract to work for the three years after they graduate, and other lucky individuals who already have a posi— tion promised them upon their graduation. It seems only logical that these men should not be required to be a part of the plan. We have heard a number of objections to the added expense of publishing the booklet, but it seems to us the expenditure would be a good in— vestment since it would be an attempt to secure employment upon graduating from school and if the booklets were well designed and well pre- sented the whole project could do nothing else than reflect credit on Armour Institute and its present senior class. We hope the committee, which is now being formed will consider the matter carefully. since it seems that the project would give a majority of this year’s graduating class a necessary serv1ce. A. J. Rosen, J. K. Morrison .6. W. Ormsby The Tale of Maurice Alexander I A freshman whose home was M’ricc Had his trousers pulled all of his lmccs, The sophs answered his pleas, With a. "No, you big cheese!” So his [macros proceeded to freeze. II But Alexander is always prepared So into the school store he fared. 0f punts, he found there, A supmfluoue puiI Allho white, and quite light, he didn’l care. III Alexander said letter that day, “My trousers that dI‘I'flcd away, W are simply disco’vcrod And by me rccouech But lhrmlc God faI white slacks any- way. ill ll: 1!: Old Joke No. 1 She had no principles but, oh, how she drew interest. 1‘l‘ “F 53‘ Another week, another column! Here is a pun-gent pun on the persistent Gadlly of- fined by a committee. “I wouldn’t Iidc the ‘L’ to school if I Gadily.” 3i: 51‘ :F And a good little ghost, I have found, is one who does not spook until spoken to. Left to Its Fate “1 went to the dentist yesterday.” “Does the tooth still ache?" “I don’t know; he kept it." *- =$ 3?: Athletic Jane Even after we had spent a bewilching evening watching a girls’ basketball game, we were still unable to discover the object of the contest. Following the play of one paIticular bright stai, we made note of her activities during the course of the game: 1. Fixed her hair 32 times. 2. Attempted to stufl’ middy into bloomers 397 times. 3. Pulled up stockings 131 times. ll. Jumped up and down, waved hci‘ screamed at short intervals. arms and II: I‘m 7}! ” WANTED~—Man for gardening, also to take charge of a cow who can sing in the choir and play the organ. Westmom (Illirwis) paper. e .1. .1. What's in a Name? Waiter: “Here is some very good canvas~back duck, sir." Business Man (after chewing): vars back and bring in the duck.” .. I. ., “Here take the can- JUST LINES—— Johnny asked—Mary refused. Johnny begged—Mary blushed. Johnny pleaded—Many pouted. Johnny insisted—Mary gave in. So little Johnny carried MaIy s books for he]. I): m e Blessing in Disguise She (sotto vocc): ”Georgie, dear, it’s a burglar!” Me: “Sh-h, don't move, maybe he can get that win- dow up; it’s the one we haven’t been able to open since the painters left.” 1- iii J: SURE EVIDENCE ON OUR CAMPUS It is evident that the handsome young man in the collar ads hasn’t worn that collar all day. il‘r ill 3?! Constant Tribute The fellow who invented the first fountain pen is dead and many a man, without realizing it, is wearing mouining on his fingers. "n J? 1* Ode To A Nag Oh horse you are a. waudIous thing, No horns to hank, uo balls to ring, No license buying every year, With plates to stick on from or rear. No clutch to slip, no valves to stick; You start yourself without (I click. Your spark plugs ucver miss or fuss, Your engine never makes us cuss. Your frame is good for many a mile, Your body never changes style. Your wants are few and easily met, No doubt you have something on the auto yet. 311 ill Ill Teacher: Who discovered America, Robert? Robert: Ohio. Teacher: No; Columbus did it. Robert: Yes'm. Columbus was his first name. T» 2 It’s not what you say It’s not what you. do It’s what you laugh at That. proclaims you. R. H. Egg/7710:1565 By John K. Morrisou Students 01' the North Carolina State College of Agriculture and Engineering are going to select the most popular professor in the school. The students will have a choice of three on the first ballot. A final vote will be taken on the professors getting the highest number of votes in the first ballot. Could we try something like this? The story is [old of a student at the University of Oregon, that one day, after having a slighb argument upon that personage and started to with a professor, he turned his back walk Off. “Are you trying to show your contempt- for me?" asked the professor sternly. "No air," was the reply. “I was trying to conceal it." From the Augustana Observer: Girls are like final exaIIIinIItionsv-thcy keep a fellow up all night wonying about them, and then ask The tho of 1.ch day (It the Uniucrnl shy of Illinois is Gmhum Lynch, who, (Inc to a. slighl lcchhicul‘ly, Iccciocd u. pcIch-l. com on his fiIsl immomptu ihcmc. ll scams that when he had completed his theme he. found To his «Inuzemcut that the rest of file class hurl used punctuation. marks. So, Grow hum, in. (I IImIIIcIII of inspired (It-lion, tuldcd the following pier-c. (It the cud “Nolc lo Instructor—— ) Plume l’llS(‘)’l those ' ut'crbsru'y. From Lake Forest college we hear that (it) per cent of the co-eds talk over their love affairs with their mothers. Forty-one percent said that they had no love affairs, and that makes 10 percent liars. “Italian gals fear Mussolini ’causc he’s the Fascist man in Italy.” Daily Illini. An exhibit on phaImaL-y set up by the Purdue university school of pharmacy at the Century of Prog~ ress Exhibition will be a permanent exhibit in the Roscnwald Museum here in Chicago. Warren Bachelis, California freshman, is only 13 years old. He hopes to complete his seven- year course in three. Univeroity of The Republican party held its first: meeting in a building on the Ripon college campus in 1854. The build- ing is still in an cxccllcnt state of preservation. Students of the University of Cali- foInia set an all— time high in bridge dancing when they danced atop the Golden Gate bridge. The first woman to enroll in the University 01' Rochester engineering school registered there this year. Of all foolish expressions, name I}; so shacplsh as that of sludculs who I'.III.pulicII.tly leave the clusmoom (Ic- foI'c the professor III'I'iocsf—uud mccl said professor oi. the door. A toast to the lovely! To the ladies, who are like watches, pretty enough to look at, sweet faces and delicate hands, but somewhat difficult to regulate when once set going. Syracuse Daily Orange. Freshmen girls at the Alaska Ag- ricultural college have to walk up and down all stairways backwards. (Try it some time). Two weeks ago a statement was made in this column that a student of the Detroit Institute of Technol— ogy travels 108 miles daily to and from school. This record is bettcred by John Roberts of Armour Tech, who travels 115 miles daily between Crystal Lake, Illinois, and Chicago. He travels about 20,000 miles during one school year. Can you beat this? The campus of Baron collcgc in Kentucky is literally 7771. the sticks. It. embraces 5,400 acres of forest. A class in French at the Univer- sity of Maryland was orally trans- the most foolish questions. | STUDENT nusmos NOVEMBER November is a month which would like to become winter, but which has— n’t quite got the nerve. It is usually composed of ten rainy days, ten cloudy days and ten snowy days or freezing days with a pinch of sun- shine between the various divisions. It is useful because it makes Decem— ber seem pleasant in comparison. In November the trees finish (lis- robing and as they wave their bare limbs against the sky, the wind con- veIses about them. Then; is nothing more talkative than a Novemhei wind. Along about 10 P M, on a bleak, damp night, a Novembei wind likes nothing better than to come- along and hang around the entire evening reminding you that the rent is overdue, and that it is a long time until spring, and that death by freezing is particularly sad, and that unless you pay your last winter’s coal bill pretty soon you will have to go to bed to keep warm. A No- vember wind is more pessimistic than anything on earth, except a Wall Street opcIator during a spasm of public honesty. was invented by the Ro- FIench into English. One of the co- cds persisted in calling the cow “be” until the pi'olcssm stopped her shmt and said: l “He is she, miss. We milk her in the next sentence.” Debating is like apple pic: of apple sauce covered crust—Duquesnc Duke. Students at Indiana university will select the five “best dressed girls on the campus.” a lot up with “If all the emails on this campus who don’t noel: were placed in this office," asks the Michigan Daily, ”what would we do with her?” Somebody mistook California Tech’s veteran football coach, “Fox" Stanton, for one of his players in a scrimmage last Week, and as a 1'0- sult Mr. Stanton is directing his . team with a crutch, while nursing a {broken leg. That leaves him just one leg to Stanton. l Bill Bonlhrom, Princeton’s great .niler and holder of the 1500 meter lrecord, has flat feel. i l The University of Oxford is said to have been founded by King Al» lib-ed in 872 A. D. I Evidence that crime paid at least ‘ one criminal has been discovered by Thelma Roberts, Columbia univer- sity journalism student, who fer- i Ietcd out the stoiy of Wicked John 1 Goode, a notorious criminal who got his start in the old West. “He worked through Kentucky” in the 18 0' . After 50 years of collecting the wages of crime in the form of prison terms in a half dozen states and con— l stan‘t bounding by police, Goode re- formed in a Bowery Mission and 1 made the most comfortable living he i had ever enjoyed by lecturing on his criminal career. He made crime pay. pay. Apparently envious of the freedom, or publicity, or higher education al.- laiucd by his second cousin, Mama Blue/candles, and her three young], or four-fool pilot snake is slithcring somewhere wmony the textbooks of the Natural Science library at the University of Kcntuclcy. The text- books have proved very dull to stu- dents but very alluring to snakes. Firm snakes are at large present. The aeronautical department of Georgia Tech received an autogyro presented by the Coca Cola Com. pany. This machine set a world’s ‘altitudc record two years ago. It will be used for scientific flights and research work in Atlanta and vicin. ity. Just imagine the embarassmcnt of two Oklahoma students who were signalling in class by means of the sign language when the professor used the same means to tell them, “Don’t do that any more." Freshmen girls at Lake Forest col-- lege had to impersonate animals in the couise of a hazing meeting and were ver 01 IOIIIal One gi ~l (bagged mans, who did so many terrible things in the early Christian era. It was so named because it was the ninth month at that time. The growth of business has compelled the addition of two more months since then, both of them being of much better quality. III November automobiling, tennis, and lawn socials begin their long win» terls sleep, but football is very pop‘ ular because it is easier to keep warm in a football game than it is in a house where the furnace is being re» paired. Football in November is a game to decide whethcr the player will (lent the ground or the ground will (lent the player. The ground I usually wins. Corn huslcing and rid- ing to the polls in an opposition car— riage are also two popular outdoor sports during this month. There are three great uses for the month of November. It kills malaria, flies, and political campaigns. None of these are able to survive the cli‘ mate of this month. If it were not for November political campaigns- might go right up to Christmas. Most of our public officials are elect- ed in November, but we cannot just- ly blame the month for this. November was first put prominent- ly on the map by the Pilgrim fathers. About 1630, when they discovered that there was only a few more days of the month left, they instituted a- Thanksgiving festival, which has been observed ever since with in~ creased gratitude and devotion. P. S TRY THHS ONE About 1621, a new edition of Diophantus’s Arithmetica appear- ed in France and a copy came in- to the possession of the celebrated mathematician, Fermat. After his death this note was found on one of the pages: “It is impossible to partition 3. cube into two cubes, or a biquadra’te into two biquadI-ates, or generally any power higher ;han a square into two powers of like degree. I have discovered a truly wonderful proof of this, which, however, this margin is too narrow to hold.” More than three centuries have passed but no mathematician has been able to offer this proof. They all wish that the margin had been wider. In modern terminology Fermat’s statement can be formu- lated in the following way: Show that the equation \I1+Yn=Zn whcic x, y, and 2: me to be in- tegers, is impossible when. II is an integer greater than two. Euler showed the impossibility when n is 3 or 4; Direchlet proved it for n equal to 5. Yet, the you— (rI'al proposition has not been proved. Can you prove it? ... W _______._._.———__._ tering a sound and when asked what animal she represented said, “a turtle.” The sophomores sat vith their mouths hanging open after the answer. “Sundial" Martin, halfback with Georgia Tech, is from the moon» tains of South Carolina and got his nickname from gassing at n Sundial and trying to get drinking water lating a story about a cow from lIeIsclf acIoss the flow without ut- from it.