Page Two Armour Tech News tudent Publication of the ARMOURt INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 9uhli=hed Weekly During the College Year may ”/7! 91m Per Year Single Copies, 10 Cents Each ARMOUR TECH News NV www w l “rile stealer” é Cleave to “The Slipstick"; let 3 the Slapstick fly where it may. v wwwmww mm mm. m Miami-M. MANAGING BOARD ............... Edwin N. Searl ..Richard D. Armsbury . .William B. Ahern Editor—in—chief. . . Managing Editor. . Sports Editor. . . ., ..... ‘ Business Manager. . . . . .Robert J. White Faculty Advisor . .Walter Hendricks I; TORIAL DEPARTMENT L News Editor ........................... . J. Beckman Assistants ....................... F. D. Cotterman, R. R. Johnson, R. S. Kercher Copy Editor .......................... O. P. Freilinger Assistants. ......................... V. J. Kropf, H. S. Nachman, G. A. Zwissler Proof Editor ......................... J. F. Humiston Feature Editors ................. C. R. Bristol, H. Levin Assistants ............. A. J. Rosen, J. K. Morrison G. W. Ormsby .Robert Hella Editorial Writer Columnist ................... Staff Photographei ........... . J. M. Bard News Reporters .............. .. .N. Ealai, B. Chase, J. J. Doudera, S. L Ender, E. W. Engstrom,J. Gal- andak, A. M. Gallei, W. G. Gartz, W. S. Hamlin, F. D. Hoifert, R. H Knabe, J. Laskicwicz. F. Leason, R. A. Pcteison, M. B Stevens. Cub Reporters .............. R. T. Dulfy, G. B. Eng, S. E. Evanolf, B‘. Gamson, 0. Hampton, F. ‘B. Har- man, M. J. Hodes, L. Lange, J. Morozofl’, N. Gerber, L. Parker, A. Schrcibcr, P. R. Schultz, J. Sheehan, B. Sills, R. T. Smith, T. Spccr, R. Weissman. Assistant Sports Editor .................. J. O. Larson Sports Reporters ..................... G. H. Bergquist, J. M. Kubert, E. J. Pleva, R. Worcester. BUSINESS DEPARTMENT Circulation Manager .................. R. M. Lundberg Circulation Assistant ........ E. C. Hoyer Advertising Manager ........... C. L. DuSell Business Assistants ....... N. Disenhaus, R. H. Hedin, W. A. Hotzfield, W. F. Lindeman, E. J. Simek, R. W. Strauss, D. C. Timberlake, 1“. A Wertzler. Vol. XIV. NOVEMBER 6, 1934 No. 7 We Take a Bowl On behalf of every member of the stall" of the Armour Tech News, we wish to express our grati- tude for the overwhelming popularity of our pub— lication as evidenced by the attempts of admirers to walk off with anywhere from two to twenty copies apiece of each issue of the News during the past few weeks. Much as we dislike to do so, circumstances force us to limit the distribution from the w. k. desk in the Main building hallway to a single copy per customer. However, to alleviate as much as possible any heart—aches caused by this arbitrary ruling, the managaing board has agreed to mail an extra copy each week to each student for the Some humor? .9 .9 4‘ w a: “Pappa, vat is science?” “Oil Stupid vot you is. Science is dose things vat says ‘No Smoking’. ” #5 >‘F >1: LOOKED ALIKE Mother: “And did the monkey tip his hat when you gave him the penny, dear?” Tommy: “Yes, mother.” Mother: “And then what’d he do with the penny?" Tommy: “Gave it to his father who played the organ.” in a: ll Expecting a Ripe Old Age The professor of thermodynamics was lecturing. “I predict the end of the world in fifty million years.” “How many?" cried “Tony" Majercik with a fright cned voice. “Fifty million years.” “0h,” said “Tony” with a deep sigh of relief. thought you said fifteen million.” l: :k #1: Poem With a Kick Oh mules we find Two lags behind, Ami two we find before, We look behind before we find What, the two behind before. are “1 Dan: “Harry was quite angry when I bought this evening gown." Ann: “Can you imagine getting angry over a little thing like that?" iii X‘.‘ 1‘11 0n Another Campus Janet: “Oh, Proffy, what do you think of me now that you’ve kissed me?” Proffy: “You'll pass." ’F #1 THE CANNY SCOT The Scotchman couldn’t find his ticket. 0n the con~ ductor’s second trip ’round it was still missing. “What’s that in your mouth?” the conductor asked. Sure enough there was the missing ticket. The con— ductor punched it and went his way. “Aw, wool,” said Sandy, when several of the pas— sengers laughed, "I’m nae so absent-minded. It was a very auld ticket and I was just suckin’ off the date.” 11‘ W 95 lat Soph: “Well, I passed a Calc. quiz at last.” 2nd Soph: “Honestly?" lst Soph: “What difl’ercnce does that make?” ’l: ’k 5K In closing yours truly appreciates the contribs of Railroad Engineer Addresses WIS;E. Mr. Charles A. Morse, retired chief engineer of the, Rock Island railroad, addressed the Armour chap- ter of W. S. E. last Friday. His speech was divided into his personal experiences and a review of qualities of a good engineer. Alter his school days, which were spent at Maine, he became connected with the Burlington railroad as an engineer laying out new lines. This type of work was in great demand in the last years of the 19th cen- tury. He gave up this position for one netting a higher salary as an engineer on a Mexican railway. ' Work Dangerous and Thrilling This work was very hazardous for he was in close contact with hostile Indians. This did not bother him because his work was interesting enough to make him forget his hard-- ships. He enjoyed his work so much that in the mornings he would have his instrument set up waiting for sufficient light to see his cross hairs to begin his survey, and then con- tinue working until sunset when darkness made vision impossible. Al— though this type of ambition would discourage most men, his interest in his work made it a hobby for him. Mail Order l‘louse Gives ficholarships Montgomery Ward and Co. offer a unique opportunity for ambitious students to attain a college educa- tion. The plan consists of obtaining orders from friends and parents for which the student receives 15% of the order as credit toward his schol- arship fund. The student may enroll at any time and may select any school in any country It a].. 0 includes any necessaiy and reasonable expenses. When a student has obtained $500 in orders, 15% 01' this amount, or $75, is put into his scholarship fund. Each month thereafter 15% of the total sales credited to his name for the month is added to the fund. This plan may continue as long as the student wishes. Further information may be ob- tained from the Dean’s office, or from the College Scholarship De. B. G., N. Disenhaus, and A. Majercik. Until next week. R. H. partment of Montgomery Ward and Co., Chicago. F934 Tuesday, November 6, No detective work is needed in locating the dealer who sells what you want. lust look in the "Where to Buy It” section of your telephone book! There, local dealers are listed beneath the trade marks of many advertised productsmsuch as Philco, Greyhound Lines, Willard Batteries, Buick and lGoodyear. Besides helping you find the brand you want, this service helps manufacturers check sub» stitution, helps dealers increase sales. “Where to Buy It” is just one of many services pioneered by Bell System men to increase the value of telephone service. negligible sum of one dollar per semester per copy per student. The circulation manager will be glad to discuss this proposition with anyone who finds that one copy is not sufficient to meet his particular needs. Read the President’s Report On a subsequent page of this issue of the N ewe, the first hall cf President Hotchkiss’ report to the Board of Trustees for the period from January, 1933 to September, 1934 will be found. Although this report might appear at first glance to be a long, uninteresting, and involved one, it is very much otherwise. It is our firm conviction that every present student at Armour as a person vitally interested in the institution’s welfare, present and future, should read the report con— scientiously and critically. We feel that every Ar- K mour student should be given at least the oppor- tunity to read what the status of his Alma Mater is and see what the future plans are for her ad— vancement. This report, in the form and content which the News is publishing, is taken from a pamphlet sent especially to the alumni of Armour; and with the exception of a special note to the alumni from the president, and a list of the newly appointed faculty committees for 1934-35, which list has al- ready been published, as well as the members of the recently formed Council, the report is com- plete in every way. Farewell We simply can’t pass up this time (and inci "entally space) to shed a few verbal tears of farewell at the passing.F of a Centurv of Progress international Exposition of 1934, World’s Fair and Whatever else it has been called. Undoubted. ly, everyone in the student body and faculty has had some contact with the Fair during the two summers it has been here. Some of us have been fortunate enough to work at the Exposition dur— ing its existence. It has been a great boon to us in several ways and we mourn its end. The rest of us have been frequent visitors and wonderers at its allvaround excellence. We also hate to think of not being able to sightsee it again. I lo the manufacture of Granger Rough Cut Pipe Tobacco the Wellhead Process is used. The Wellman Process is dif- ferent from any other process or method and we believe it gives more enjoyment to pipe smokers. . . . it gives the tobacco cm ex- tm flavor and aroma .. . . it makes the tobacco not right in a pipe—bum slower and smoke cooler . . . inmates the tobaccomilder . . . it leaves a clean dry 45.6 -—no saggy residue or [see] in the P227? bowl LIGGETT 8: MYERS TOBACCO CO. the pipe tobacco that’s Mlllll the pipe “tobacco that’s COOL Wfiid’s mam: lire rain of “Wyn-f Joni balm ll have wood a in fie deems" an idles enforce meals Granger leaves no gum in the bowl of my pipe ——or moisture in the stem. lit burns down to a clean dry ash.” .. . . in or common - sense package—«E08 © 195-5, imam? & firms “insure Cc.