Page Four ARMOUR TECH NEWS Tuesday, October 23, l934 B], John K. Morrison The University of California reports the largest undergraduate regi- stration in its history, 9,379, passing the 1932 mark of 8,990. colleges have made gains in attendance over last year. Other The University of Wisconsin made a startling gain of 20 per cent while the University of Michigan is nine per cent above last year. Co-eds at the Texas College of Mines have organized a “No Date Club," the membership of which is constantly changing. Classes in corrective English or a “hospital for illiterates” were established this fall in the freshman class will teach unfortunate students class at Princeton university. This how to write a “decent English sen~ lencc.” Students who fail to pass the course will not be graduated. The Oklahoma Daily, publication of the University of Oklahoma, vouchcs for the authenticity of this at The other day in a class at that ory. school a co-ed’s eyelashes came un- glued and fell down on her face. The startled professor screamed, “Mi— gawd a centipede l" Despite their having a Phi Beta Kappa member on their team, the Detroit Tigers insisted on making that Wednesday afternoon baseball game a comedy of errors. Charley was the man. Gehringer, Detroit second baseman, Stumped by c calculus problem one night, on engineering student of Carnegie Tcoh broadcasted an appeal with his short wave scl.‘ The solution came back from. a sympovthizor at the University of Texas. Because of strike conditions a short while ago the daily newspaper of Northwestern university found it necessary to leave the editorial page blank. The students soon after openly admitted that it was the best and most interesting editorial page the Daily Northwestern ever printed. With a ready comeback the editor only one they were able to understand" The heaviest enrollment in the his- tory of the institution was made this fall at the University of Nebraska. Twenty-three pounds of pennies, 3,600 of them, were offered by Vin- cent Kelley for his registration fee. It looks like Coach Eugene Mulr- phy of Columbia hit upon a good idea when he decided to donate a cup to the unsung hero who does the boob blocking for the current session. Phillips Lord, known to millions as “Seth Parker,” possesses an A.B‘. de- gree from Bowdoin college, Brunet wick, Maine. In on English class at Cornell, the professor revealed that an essay had been submitted which was copied directly from a. tent. He added that if the student guilty of the plagior‘ ism would meet him uflcr class, the offender’s name would not be di- vulged. When the period had ended he found five very nervous students waiting to see him. This is the inscription on a bulleu tin board outsid ea church on the Northwestern university campus: “Do you know what hell is?” Underneath was printed in smaller characters: ”Come and hear our or- ganist."—Daily Northwestern. At the University of Holland, unique customs govern the conduct of fraternity pledges. Each pledge must have his hair shaved off and enter the house by a window. Under no circumstances is he allowed to use a door. There are now over 400 bicycles at Smith college at Northampton, Mass. They have become such a menace that the student government association is formulating special traffic rules. Here’s a story coming from the University of Missouri. it seems as though a co-ed there was taking Latin. One class hour the professor asked her what XXX stood for. She promptly replied, “Love and Kisses." A co—ed university without any “co’s” is Gettysburg college, which is just beginning its one hundred and second term, and which for the first time in 45 years does not have a wom- an on the campus. Glasgow University students», adopting the policy of the Oxford Union have decided that they will not bear arms in case of was. retortcd that it was probably the Normal college. When men v t the girl's dormitory without dates. the women candidates drop their names into a punch bowl whereupon the fellows draw and the evening is started. Blame the Carnegie ”Tartan lot this: Then there was the Tulane in— itiate who was caught removing some unmentionablos from the Gamma Pi corority’s clothesline. The youth was released when he appeared be- fore the judge pleading it was his first clip. ! STUDENT MUSHNGS ! ELOQUENCE Eloquence is the art of arranging words to look like pictures. When a man is eloquent, he is as dangerous as if he were armed with a large club. He captures states and cities by firing large reverberating words instead of cannon balls at them, and turns murderers and chicken thieves loose upon an unfortunate world by making strong men weep until the jury box has to be bailed out as he tells how badly the prisoner's fam- ily will feel if he isn’t given another crack at society. An eloquent man can say “Good Morning" in a way that would sprout orange trees in Dakota and can cause an audience to rise to its feet and shout wildly by describing the prin. ciples of dry farming. All over the world men willingly endure the hor- rors of banquets in order to listen afterward to the speakers who can say nothing in such a manner as to make it sound like a celestial choir swinging its feet on a rainbow. After a man has been eloquent for a few years, he usually goes into politics and runs for olfice. Dense throngs turn out to hear him speak, and as he describes the nobility of character which leads his party to ignore its own interests and produce bumper crops when it is out of power, the welkin rings like a lire bell and his friends beg him to get oil the legislative ticket and run for president. After the same man has served the people for a few years, he comes back for re-election and takes out a stock of words which sound like the battle cry of freedom with a smile of confidence. But at this point, he usually runs up against something that is twelve times as elo- quent. It is his record. His record doesn‘t get on a platform and wave its arms. It keeps quiet in fourteen languages, but oh, how eloquent it is! A good many times a quiet lit« lle record only a few lines long will not only out-argue its owner but will chase him out of town. In the old days when a convention would look up a record in the lum— her room and do all the talking it- self, said record didn’t count so much. But nowadays unless a status— man can get his record to talk on his side, he usually retires, owing to the pressure of private business and be- comes an embittered man. P. S. Till: STEAM SHGVM. Professor Blougli's lecture to the Sleepy Seniors on tardiness, last Tuesday, seemed to have little effect . . . .01: Professor Blough! ! ! We understand that ED KROK has been trying to impress his girl by taking her to the “opery”. And Inasmuch as Milly said she didn’t care much for “opery”, we also un» derstand that Ed will return to his old favorite, burlesque. Ho, hum, old loves are best. . . . Having been disillusioned by BRUCE LOCKLING of the belief in the word ”Trust” in the title of a bank, Chick Goldberg threatens to precipitate another financial panic by removing all his tremendous re- sources from the First National Title and Trust Bank—and stowing it un- derneath the luxurious cushions of his new Model T. P. S. Chick sold the limousine! Frnn'k Adam Hefner, Jr., epi- curean and lover, insists 'that apple pie without cheese is like a kiss with- out El. squeeze. Talking extrascurri- culnr courses, Frank? “Gentlemen—Last summer I took a bath...”, BENNIE FREUD in- forms us. And PROF. SHOLTO SPEARS missed a both at the hands of oblig- ing architects by the swish of his cle- yunt soup strainer. We wonder whether MAHATMA QUANDEE got that vote from JIM KROPF down in Mach Lab? And Ed Auler admits that his orange and green tie is five years old—and looks it! SMlTT‘il SMlTl-l welcomed an early spring by feathering his nest in mech. lab—with the gentler!) aid of BOB (RASSLER) SCHMIDT and ROY (Dl'l'TO) KERCHER. Steam Shovel readers (if any) will read no longer of the exploits of | l Fraternity Notes l W pha Epsilon chapter of Phi Kappa Sigma announces the pledging of Edward Erickson Arch. ’38. The Founder’s Day Banquet held Friday, October 19 was a great suc— cess, with a large group of the bloom ni to combat the arguments of the? present actives. Pledge Brother Ribeau of Alpha Theta chapter at Madison spent a few days at the house last week, He was here with a Civil Engineering group from Wisconsin U. The house has formed a touchball team and herewith challenges any other fraternity to a few games. TRIANGLE We are organizing a touch-football team and are looking forward to some exciting games. Brothers Dcnning and Malloy were at the house last week. Brother Chris- tiensen also dropped in. _. Brothers Kendall and Lundbcrg‘ have been appointed social chairman and chapter editor respectively. ’ BETA PSl Beta of Beta Psi Fraternity takes great pleasure in announcing the‘ pledging of the following men: 1 Thomas Speer—~C. E. '38. Harry lF‘. Perlet, Jr.———F.P.E. ‘38. The annual pledge dance has been announced as taking place Oct. 27. The pledges are expected to attend, and the active members will in all probability show up. Plans are under way for the as— sembling and organ g of material Frank Smetana since Frank has joined the Nowc stall in self-defense. WALLlE FULGHUM reveals the fact that he rode 1500 miles on a bicycle in England last summer. . . . How about riding to school on your racer bike, WALLIE. And maybe some other prol’s would i'ollow suit, considering the economy, and pro- fessors’ salaries being what they are? ROY WlTTEKlNDT is the newly appointed chief black board writer for the SENIOR SCHMIERS—large- ly because ROY finds it slightly more difficult to sleep on his feet! FlNlS L. in for an basketuball team. “Cookie” Schnackcl is the manager of the team, and with our star center “Uncle" Curtis still in trim, he ought to be able to whip a pretty good team into shape. We want to congratulate Curtis Bristol and Howard Zibble upon their being pledged to Salamander, Honorary Fire Protection Engineer- ing Fraternity. PH! Pl PHI Gamma chapter of Phi Pi Phi takes great pleasure in announcing the pledging of the following men: William J. Chelgren Gen. ’38. Kenneth J. Jannison Gen. ’38. Lorentz A. Johanson Arch. ’37. Albert I-I. Ramp Arch. ’37. The pledges have begun to take an active part in the house by set~ ting aside November 3 as the date for the annual pledge dance. Brothers Callen, Stasiulis, and Storey are now in the Engineering Department of the Sanitary District. Brother Pflum is assistant surveyor for the C. M. St. P. dz. P. Brothers Castanes and Simpson are in the laundry business. Brother Kuehn is studying at M. I. T. ‘for his Master’s Degree. Brother Simpson announced his engagement to Rowena Wiley re- ; cently. Congratulations, Bob. KAPPA DELTA EPSHLON Alpha chapter is pleased to an- nounce the pledging of the following men: David Baker, ’37. Martin L. Holland, ’37. Joseph Mashmon, ’38. Paul Freedman, ’38. A Halloween party is planned for the 26th of October to which both the active and alumni chapters are invited. The house recently received a visit from Leonard Marcus, recently grad- uated, who was pleased by the ap- pearance of our new quarters. RHO DELTA RHO Rho Delta Rho fraternity takes pleasure in announcing the pledging of Sidney Rabinowitz, ’38. We are also pleased to announce that on Friday, October ‘19, the fol~ lowing men were formally initiated into the fraternity: Sam Taradash, '37. Leonard Sorkin, ’37. Abraham Mendelowitz, ‘36. 6‘ of enjoyment. Pipeloads from A been originated at lllinois new kind of date bureau has State @1954: imam-z a: Mm» Tower: (to. it man who has hem smoking @mnger for or long time mini this: "A package of Granger gives me and my oldjbzioe about 9 hours "My pipe is about door/urge size, and smoking it leisurely as l lihe to do, a parkland omengcr lasts me shout 25 minutes, and that means that l getahcnt 21 good ”Wars there cow so much enjoy- mentfor so small is cord?” artery package. .. . . in a common-sense package—10c