Page Two “L .\‘

   

ARMOUR Teen we

 

_ r. , September 2.9721934

 

         

 

 

 

 

   

Arm or chhlhlews - 1 ; .» 1-
.3 . Student Publication of the .. ; _’ o ; e "399 ‘.
ARMOUR lNSTlTUTE OF TECHNOLOGY M h f“ E Q% E . h
. , CHICAGO, ILLINOIS l E @ fipw fig g;
Pnhlichod Woeklv [hiring the College Your
Cleave to “The Slipstick"; let 3
m.
" meow“ tho Slapstick fly where it may. é
w H“ Per Year Single Copies, 10 Cents Each ‘
. mm m .0... mm m i .N.
MANAGKNG BOARD
Editor»in-chief Edwin N Searl In some secluded rendezvous,
Managing Editor........ ........ Richard D. Armsbury Oh’ H8110 Roy. H1 PM?“ 8:”de Ed' H‘ Gus.
Sports Editor ...... . .. . .. . . .Williem B. Ahern I W” “”1“? “‘3’ [07' you. .
Business Manager ..................... Robert J. White Hello Frank. Aw Nu“! HOW am I SUPPOSB‘I to write

‘ Walter Hendricks
William W. Colvert
Eldon C. Grafton

Faculty Advisers . . . ...........

 

EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT

News Editor ............................ L. J. Beckmim
fissistants. . . . . . . . . . . . . .l?‘ D. Cottcrmun,
R. R. Johnson, R. S. Kercher.
Copy Editor .............. . . . . . ........ 0. P. Freilinger
Assistant ......................... H. S. Nachman
Proof Editor. . . . . . ..... J. F. Humiston
Feature Editors. .. .C. R. Bristol, H. Levin
Assistants . . ..... .I. M. Addis, J. K. Morrison
Editorial Writers . . .Brockway McMillan, G. W. Omsby
Columnist .............................. Robert Hella
Staff Photographer . . . ..... J. M. Bard
i\t\\4.\ i\H>--I|PI.~5.... ....... .. .N. Balai, B. Chase,
J. J. Doudera, C. L. DuSell, S. L. Ender, M. Fineman,
J. Galandak, A. M. Galler, W. J. Gartz, .l. A. Graf.
W. S. Hamlin, F. D. Hoffert, R. H. Knabe, W. F.
Kracmer, V. J. Kropf, J. Land, J. Laskiewicz, F.
Lenson, N. McGuone, D. J. Neal, R. A. Peterson, M.
13. Stevens. D. C. Timberlake, L. P. Werlein, and

G. A. Zwissler.
Assistant Sports Editor. ................. E. F. Mezera
Sports Reporters .......... . ........... G. H. Bergquist,

F. L. Frazier, J. M. Kubert, J. 0. Larson

       

   

 

       

 

  

 

BUSINESS DEPARTMENT

Circulation Manager .................. F. W. Schmidt
Advertising Manager. . . . . .R. H. Hedin
Business Assistants” . . .. ............... E. F. Dudley,

E. Simek, F. A. Wertzler.

 

Vol. XIV SEPTEMBER 24, 1934 No. I

 

A. Vilelcome to You
And to the Future

Another summer has slipped by and again the
time is at hand when it is the privilege and the
pleasure of the Armom‘ Tech N ews to offer
greetings and salutations to all the returning
“Armourites” and the new men as well.

During the next few days at least greetings of
old friends and classmates will resound through
the halls of Main and Mission as we begin where

we stopped last spring when the summer vacag

tion so rudely (‘2) interrupted us.

During the next few days, also, there will be
noted a goodly number (approximately two hun‘
dred and twenty-five) of unfamiliar faces amongr
the student body. These faces of course belong
to the class of 1938. To these men, embarking as
they are upon a very important and interesting

period of their life, we tender a special handshakes

and may we all get acquainted speedily.

This year (more than ever before) the pres-
ence of new faces will not be restricted to the stu-
dent body alone. The faculty will have eight new
men to add to their roster. We wish to make them
welcome to Armour Institute and warn them in
advance of the intelligent, hard—working student
body with which they will have to cope.

As we come to the fall season and enter upon

poetry in this place (ye OLDE news office). Oh, well.

Hl, HELLO, and HOWDY EVERYBODY!
This day brings to mind that dear tune,

“The bells of Old Armour,—-ah, hear they are calling-—
The young men, the true men, from land and from sea.
And so loyal students, when red leaves are falling
Old Armour bells ring: out, ring out for you and me.”

And now that we are gathered to this great institu‘u—
u-shion, what do you want? Humor! What? HUMOR!!!

one

Well, we will start out with an old, old Scotch joke.
Two old Scotsmen sat by the road-side puffing solemn—
ly at their pipes.
There’s no‘ much pleasure in smoking Donald," said
Sandy.
“lion due yo mnk' that out?" questioned Donald.
“Wecl, if ye’re smoking yer nin bacon, ye‘re thinkin‘
o’ the awful expense, and if ye’re smoking some ither
body’s y'r pipe’s rammed saw tioht it wanna draw.”
vix' u m
A detour is the roughest diutcmcu between two painfu.
7}! W 3

Him—“Never tell a secret around chairs."
She—«“Why?"
Himo-J‘Becauoe chairs are tale bearers."

   

 

 

A Lesson in Grammar

The Lady Remarketh: “Hobo, did you notice that pile
of wood in the yard "

“Yes’m, I seen it.”

“You should mind your grammar. You mean you now
it." »

“No’m. You saw me see it, but you ain’t seen me
new it."

$1 i: a:

Knowledge of love depends -on how one groups the

subject.
at: n a:

The teacher was having: on arduous task drilling: the
principles of arithmetic into her youthful pupils.

“Now, listen.” she said. “In order to subtract, things
have to be in the some denomination. This is what I
mean: Now, you couldn’t take three apples from four
peaches, nor eight marbles from eight buttons. It must
be three apples from four apples, and so on. Do you
underntnnd?"

The. majority seemed to grasp the ideaCBut one
youngster in the rear raised a timid hand.

“Please, ma’am, " he inquired, “couldn‘t you take
three quarts of milk from two cows?”

1" u 1::

She was only the opticinn’s daughter-~12oo glances and
she made a, spectacle of kernel].

$4.».

Dumbo]! Puma No. l
Draught or no drought
Of this I mu sure
That good beer on draught
Was the only cu’re.

7! (I Il<
fluid: the first cannibal: “What’s that strange noise in

your stomoch?”
Said thors’ectmd: “I had a. crooner for lunch.”

 

in, ‘

 

:» ,;Ill)iieociz‘iption l .
“Mint are you waging; the level: of? 'y
$6r‘l”;. ,~ " .1 , .

“"I‘ho doctor toldl‘me’ to sténvbolting my food ‘1

 

 

i
an

  

 

Curtains . ‘ .
Customer: “What colors have you in window blinds?"
Clerk: ”Window blinds are all shades, madame.”

‘54 an 4:

‘ vii-y Difficult
“I see that in some out-of—the~wuy places the nativou
still use fish for money." ’

ohm

First Med. Student: "I’m going to be a surgeon.”
Second Med. Student: “Not for me. Too much inside
Work.”

ill a: #4

He: “The. doctor says bathing alone will not keep
you healthy.” .

Sliez'i‘,‘0h yeah! Well, just the some I’ll continue
bathing. alone"

a: in II:

Old .lulze No. l
(P. S.-——~’l‘he others more all now).
“So you’re gonna sell your saxophone.” .
“Yes, I saw my neighbor in the hardware store yes—
terday, buying u gun.”

u m I!

Are you pool or humorist

If so, your talents are misced.
Now an the hall a bow you’ll find
And within thin your talents bind.
I hope in conclusion

Your talents make an intrusion
Into a future Slipst’iclc column

So, Adoo, till the next column.

 

 

 

" “in

.3. gm

 

v<~

' » ix

 

another year of college education, it seems almost ‘
inevitable that, after passing through such it sum-

mer as the last one has been, we should make
some comment concerning it. Undoubtedly the

months of June, July, August, and September, ,
have been very interesting months from the view—5

point of politics and economics, both national and ,
The unusual developments during these

local.
months in the political and economic life of our
country have shared the spotlight with extraordi—
nary weather conditions over certain parts of the
nation and (in the minds of returning Armour
students) with the changes which we find have
been deemed necessary in the faculty and general
organization of Armour Institute of Technology.

Since this past summer has provéd to be full of
many changes and since the situation as it now
stands is not entirely clear, it seems apparent that
we can look forward to nine more months crowd-
ed with similar transitions, absorbing work, and
some play.

Thinking is easy; action is difficult; to act in
accordance with one’s thought is the most difficult
thing in the world—Goethe.

Every man has a right to he conceited until he
is successful.~~Disraeli.

 

Eilfil‘lihilfi WMWNEV, ’35-w-Majoring
in chemistry. “A Camel tastes simply
swell,” lie says, “and what is more impor-
tant, it refreshes my energy.”

A. utnnsnuu thnt drives

Emmy tongue end. iistlcssncssl

"I‘m specializing in chemistry, which
means a large amount of ‘lab’ work,”
says Richard Whitney, ’35. "It’s inter-
esting—but. a tough grind. After a long,
hard session, a Camel castes simply swell
—and what is more importancit re-
freshes my energy and I feel ‘fit as a
fiddle’ in short order. l’ve smoked a lot
of Camels and never yet have they
ruffled my nerves.”

Even/one is subject to strain—whether
physical, mental, or emotional. So it’s
important to know that Camels do rc~
lease your stored-up energy.

The findings of a famous scientific lab-
oratory have confirmed Camel’s "encr-
gizing effect.” 50 begin today to enjoy
Camels. Enjoy their wholesome and de
lightful “lift.” Enjoy their mildness and
rich, good taste. Enjoy them often! Come
pays millions more for finer, more ox-
pensive tobaccos, and the costlier tobac—
cos in Camels never jangle the nerves.

 

 
  
   
  
  

$57 snourswomhw mum“. Mrs. Cecil Kenyon, ofWahsn, Mass, says: “Spool;-
iug of cigarettes, Camels are the wildest cigarette I know. Morning, noon, and
night I can smoke than: steadily—without a touch of upset nerves.”

   
  
   
  
    
 
 
 
 
   
   
  
  
 
  
  
  
 
 
 
 
  
   

 

“What a sloppy job they must have getting gumirom'
4 a machine.”