Page Two

Student Publication of' the
ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY
CHKCAGO, ILLINOIS
Published Weekly During the College Year
My”?
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Newspaper f“
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2.00 Per Year Single Copies, 10 Cents Each

humour Tech. Newe :

ARMOUR TECH NEWS

 

 

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6 é Q . 1: . a ‘fiw 5? i“
Willie; tiling hoist. ,
Cleave to “The Slipstick": let

the Slapstick fly where it may.

 

 

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MANAGKNG BOARD

      

 

 

     

    

Editorimchief . .. ................ . . .Edwin N. Sear]
Managing Editoi . . . .Richard ll). Armsbury
Sports Editor ....................... William B. Ahem
Business Manager ..................... Robert J. W’hite

Walter Hendricks
Faculty Advisers .............. William W. Colvei‘t

l Eldon C. Grafton

EDlTOEUAL DEPAR’E'MENT
News Editor ..................... . . .L. J. Beckman
Assistants. . . . . F. D. Cotter-man,
R. it. Johnson, R. S. Kercher.

Copy Editor ........................... O. P. Frcilinger
As. ant ......................... ll. S. Nachman
Proof Editor ........................... J. F. Humiston
Featuri- Editors .............. (7. R. Bristol, ll. Levin

 

. touts ............ l. M. Arldis, J. K. Morrison
Editorial Writers

. . .Brockway McMillan, G. W. 011115}le
Stall" Photographer ..................... .l. M. Bard
News Reportcrs .......................... 3. Chase,

J. .l. Doudem, A. J. Dreis, C. L. DuSell, S. L. Endcr,
E. W. Engstrom, M. Fineman, J. Galandalt, W. .l.
Gartz, H. A. Geeraerts, J. A. Graf, W. S. Hamlin,
F. I}. Holfcrt, B. W, Johnson, L. F. Kacel, R. ll.
Knabc, W. I“. Kraemcr, V. J. Kropf, J. Land, J.
Lasliicwicz, F. Lawson, N. McGuone, D. J. Neal, R.
A. Peterson, A. J. Ragan, M. B. Stevens, R. E.
Stevens, 1), C. Timberlnke, L. P. Werlvin, and G.

Zwisslci'.
Assistant Sports Editor .................. E. F. Mezeru
Sports Reporters ...................... F. L. li‘raizer,

M. Holland, J. O. Larson, and 0. Tomci.

 

BUSENESS DEPARTMENT
Circulation Manager .................. F. W. Schmidt
Advertising Manager .R. H. Hedin

 
  

 

Business Assistants ................... E. F. Dudley,
E. Simok, F. A. Wertzlei‘.
Vol. Kill

MARCH 21, “HQ

No. 6

 

”it; Dance or Not to Balance

As a follow up discussion to the article: that
appeared in the last issue of the News in which
the various class social chairmen cxpr 'sed their
viowx concerning the price of the bids; for the
yearly class (luncea, we present the followii'ig ub—
VlOUS obsorvations and comments.

The annual class dances have been the out-
standing social affairs; of the year. The studente
have looked forward to them, anticipating an
evening: in which they might meet each other in).
restricted by clues and fraternity barriorg. They
have. enjoyed attending such Social gotherii‘igs,
fox" they found that here the sense oi" school loy-
alty. unity, and “school spirit" could be, developed
to its highest degree.

 

From year to year the dances. gradually have,
become elaborate all-airs. The beautiful hullrooms
of large hotels and clubs have been rented, popu-
lar dance orchehtras have been ongaged, and the
bids and pronouns have become. because of their
modernistic and complicated design, a. port of the
SllOW.

Now, ian’t that just too grand for words?

it is, if you look at the situation from the side
of those who could allow to pay the too high
prices that were asked. But how about the other
side of the question“? Many of the Hilltlt‘l'lth'. like
almost everyone the world over, have been spa"-
ring with “old man depression." This fact, most
of all, has made it impossible for a large nul’l‘lllel‘i
of them. who are donirous of joining in ,
Sotl‘dlfl, to help support the expensive affairs.

 

Since: the social chairman is elected to nerve
the students. it lS l’llS duty to present a dance that
will permit the. maximum number of rattulcnts to

c ‘lOOl -

 

Homework, quizzes, one week has passed, a riddle to
solve, it is:7

“What is three-scvenths of chicken, two-thirds of cat,
and one—half of goat?"

Well, well, the answer is
“loos/L.”

“CHHCAGU”; or maybe.

:9 is >l<

SFRlGG 500G
’Tis sprigli. ’lis *prigg,
"l‘is beautiful epi'igg,
thd (la robid is oud Oil
Whod do rabid IS oud ool
‘Tis sprigg, 'tis sprigg,
Yes wuddei'ful sprig,,
Ad (in cows are beeixlrlig‘
Ad do cows are begiddlg

4». ’f o

do wig, tra-la-lu,
do wig, tra-la-la,

 

lo Sig, il'iLla-lll,
to silt, tra—la-la.

 

“Give that star an inch, and
139'"

The “Sxtra” Girl says
she'll take reducing exe

 

15 1r :-

Keeper: “‘fem'ro sane, eh? Well, if we give you your
liberty will you keep away from liquor and women?“
Asylum Inmate: “I certainly will!"
Keeper: “Then you stay in. You're still crazy!"
n1 '3' ’2:
SEVEN AGES OF WOMEN
The
The

infant.
little girl.
miss.

young
young

woman.
woman.
young woman.
- young women.
‘9 ’1: V)

Shr: was a good [iltlc girl on fur as: good liliic girls go,
and, In; for (13‘ good little girlie 110, Mr wont.

e .v 1:
THEME SONGS
“ch11 Young and Beautiful" ._. while you’re having:

your senior pictures taken.
“At Dawning’LA-The commuters running for the train.
“Got the .litters"A~bL:foi‘e examinations.
“Turn Back the Clock” «at the end of free periods.
“At Sundown"~wc start homo.

 

.x 1 :4:

And then thorn- was the boy who cullotl his. girl friend
“grapefruit” liccuuse She always hits him in the eye who!)
he utnrls to 5|)00ll.

ll: f) (9
Mary hail in little watch,
'l'lic price she paid was; low.
And overywhci'c that Mary”
Tiltt watch refuwd to 9:0.

ram .3

w (an L

AN ENGINEER DESCRIEES ll'ilfi GAL

You, l‘vc liskmi tho girl from home. ‘Nhat's film like?
Well, she‘s; lllfl‘ cxon’il'ninlgr mach. lab, pulling down an
A in hyrlmulim, and drinking a glam of 180 proof
(7 llflU, all at once.

What does Rl'lt’ weigh"! Well, now, I don't just know,»
but her volume in about 3 cu. ft, and B‘l’ie“ must be, about
.023; cu. in. dense. lll‘l' capacity, when film‘s in top form,
is: a fifth per Waning.

Yes, 1 guests you’d call hr-r a blomlc. Her hair is the
color of the refracted light from .— oxide film on high
carbon steel at 2:10“ (5. About 5 give‘; the color of
her eyes. As for hor [general outim 1;, just think of a
nice sine curve. Streamlined, and built for
weed.

 
  

of cournc,

Her resisteiice is low, but I’m sometimes bothered by
her reluctance. The things that rea‘
her indicated thermal efficiency
~mzm oh man!!!

 

y count, though, are
~ power factor

 

 

.1 a an
Flivveringa

Flivver, F‘livvcr, little car,

All the world knows what you are;

Shivering: as though you‘re comm

Lizzie, you are growing old.

And we’ve. noticed this also,

A5; SUI'O as you’re loom,

l Q'llNllwlllEllil QAMPUE’SES

i The University of Athens: is well
represented in the council: of the
state's legislators, for Neal King, a
alumni in that institution’s school
of law, is n. member of the House
of Reprenenmtives of Arkansas.

* xi v;

   
   

 

Women require. 25 percent long«
or time to apply hralmn when driw
long on automobile. than men, accord-
ing; to statistics compiled by Mason—
lclmiietin institute of Technology uch
l entiots.

l 9: ii- 1-
l ”Pi-cramming!" u; :1 r‘m‘c for lopo»
worm, a St. Olaf college oil-ed. rc-
imalcd in. a rm‘ 1t examination.

1F 51‘ 3k

A booklet of forty songs written
by Stephen Foster has been com-
piled and arranged by Elmer Grif»
[it]: Sulzcr. director of the, Univer-
iaity of Kentucky publicity bureau.
This is the first extensive collection
ol‘ Fostor’e works prepared for popu-
llll‘ conuuim‘>1ion.

)9 2? ii»

Duqucnne students claim that cut»

line cl 5916‘s in an oil.
vl= if ll‘

The agricultural department of
the University 0i Winconnin limo not
out to dincalvew- whether on intoxi»
noted loom will lay more eggs than a:
when- hon.

I? 'vF =l‘.

A University of Kentucky fl'Qfih‘
mun attended a geology class l'or
lwo weeks before discovering that it
was not German.

w w :i

(‘urmi Squirm. promising Boston
uniVeruity student baritone, is pay-
imr his way through school with the.
receipts from the sale of milk from
his herd of jm‘suy cows. llc admits:
that he obtained his fir. interest in
Singing: while. amusing hinmeli‘ durv
in}: milking:

.3 .l i.

 

Driving Without a license, ob—
lilructini: traffic, operating without
ii fronrhise, and further investiga-
tion were the charges filed against
Students ol' the Colorado School of

 

Mines. ax‘restml Wl‘lllt' (l ’ving n.
Street cor plastered with si no an an
advert cmcnl. of their impending
garm- with Denver.

‘0 #1 ¥5=
'I'lm'ulyl-fivr' ymr ('ciii of Hip raw;
owned by; [.clliyh (naive) ‘
more con/ismlcd by ilm 1;“in high-
way; pal’r'ol, who brunch/Ii lhc’m “'rcl'it‘i:
unfit to opumlw on (he lew’ls."

 

.11, Kim

 

The Jupanesv idea. of male nupori»
ority received 2. distinct setback rem
contly when it woman student took
first honors in scholarship at Moyi
university.

1 :1

Just imagine tho
of two Oklahoma students
siphoning in class by me
inpjn language when the
used the same means; to
“Don’t do that any mom

.i.

embnrm “‘ll’Yll‘ m.
who wrrc

 
 

us of the
prol'crzlzol‘
tell them,

Prol’erznors at the University of
Michigan husicd thcmiwlves and
formulated fifteen WlAyE-x lo keep

the i r stu do n ts awake.
3S il’

Ailey much arguing, a: co-efl all a
junior (llama: at the University of
ll/limmmii: was induced to tulle in“
llwr shueo in order to “solace her
.lheight advantage over her excort so
that the

would present a more uniform

leadera
my

a photograph of

incarnate.
‘I‘vfi ll ’1?
The modem i. ~ed is a gold-digger
and out for all she can get, accord
ing to the opinion of 215‘ porcent of

 

“ml

Will i: hi
ill l: hi lhl lilll h

Wednosday, March ll, Fiji—”l

 

”lilicy pick you up
cvory Elli million

Without Vacuum tubes, Long Distance teie~
phony would hardly be possible. lint with these
little tubes placed in “repeaters” or amplifiers at 50
mile intervals along the liuc-—cven a whisper carries
from coast to coast!

With many tubes used in tandem, individual per-
formance must be almwt pfl’fi’U-w or cumulative
distortion would render supeech unintelligible. That
today"s Long Distance connections are so reliable
and clear, is a tribute to the skill used in making
Western Electric tubee.

Manufacturing nearly all llcll System apparatus,
Western Electric contributes much to the quality
oi telephone service.

lllilllult TELEPHUNE SYSTEM

 

WHY NOT TAKE A TRIP HOME BY TELEPHONE?
HTGNIGNT AT HALF»PAST EIGHT

hfa

 

 

 

COLLEGE
MUSICAL 5777
Revue .. @1/ r"

 

l
(g.
lhj

Ew‘
\ o All .

   
     
  

l____

 

if you’re forced to go cliorlne in the inter~

elite of on, let a pipeful of BRIGGS re—
store masculine poise. BRIGGS Pipe Mix-

pzirtakc of the social life of the school. The re-
duction of the bids to one dollar and fifty cents

The worse the Flivver

‘ 522).:3 "1: f ..‘t-
The louder the horn. lit, to ed 1 the Unner ity o Wes

 

 

    
 

. > > urn Ontario Canad . . . . . . . . - ~ .
by the minor socml committee was only a step. * * ‘* ’ .«, 4. WW 91-415 «3 “FE and Rdbflld‘kfimfi 13“st
. ' ' “ ~ - » 5 . . » . “ . 1» . 2 ' v ' . s. .
taK‘ifi i0 achieve this purpose and if they had Sound travels at the rate at 400 yards per second. (:(lmhdlllt‘f; frn‘ 11w (/mw' ’zty of Hints tunpuef} by lung: iglnggtfl u ” ge
anticipotcil Such a, successful response thev would Exceptions to this rule: Kmfiueky 0vang loam m at full moi, mellow, biteless. When a .ellcr neede
‘ Scandal 5 1.000 yards. mum, slur! 17' now. A 2: friend there‘s no blend like BRIGGS.

     

hau- lmvered the. prize barrier to a lo M” level.
Having; noted the results of the experiment and Tmih~214 yards

knowmu the {icoirm of the students, the plan of Alarm Clocliw?

procedure for tho social chairmen, it appears to W * *
us, is clearly outlined.

war/53’ Him/71mg mum-w mug! in rro'mr
7)]PU’d lwfow Hwy arr: (”U417 climblo
for [he jock.

a.

 

Flatter), 7500 yards» KEPT FACTORY FRP’A‘SH
by iflfl¢f liming, of
GEE LOPEQANE 7%

 
 

 

1: .2:
Dr. D. (I. Croissant. of Washington
university, blames foreigners for
“our silly spelling.” lie is an arlvo»
catc of simplified spoiling.
:% :v': in

An old lady who had been introduced to a doctor who
was also a prolossor in a university, felt aomewhal’,
puzzled as to how she would address the great man.

“Shall l call you ‘doctor’ or ‘prolessor’?" she asked.

“Oh! just is you wish,” was the reply. “As a matter of
fact, some people call me an old i ot."

“Indeed,” she said sweetly, “but then, thcy are people
that know you.”

 

[it Note ol' Appreciation v...“ all... 9... on. .m in.

 

l
l
candy Companyl
v3.5.“ nus—g
l

it is with u note of regret and deep apprecia. junction against m

lion of services rendered faithfully and Well that

we hear of the death of Mr. Sotterholm, Whose 3‘ i: l .-. i .
passing: was followed shortly by that of his wife YOU" “mm“ “W“ 5“ mas" Mount Holyoliv vellum is trying a‘
during the past week. Mr. Setterholrn had worked ::L.Q:m.:1,:::::: gifgaiiwi 1 will :7:th (if (2;:leullnioix:d 3:11;:
for the institute as a .lalll'tul‘ for over twenty. 'Till mm Tuesday COWS to View. l:3;1:1lm<:;:left 0m 51;: Q, mm;
five years. R. H. , major dopertments.

‘ gently or nialzing