Armour Tech News Student Publication of the ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY CHICAGO, ILLINOIS Dnhlishml Weekly During the College Year 'nn l‘ev' Year Single Copies, l0 Cents Loch MANAGING BOARD Editor-invchief ........................ Edwin N. Seal-l Managing Editor ................ Richard D. Armsbury Sports Editor. . .. . ...... William B. Ahern Business Manager ..................... Robert J. White Walter Hendricks Faculty Advisol‘s .............. William W. Culvert Eldon C. Grafton EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT News Editor.. ................... L. J. Beckman Assistants ...................... F. D. Cotterman, lt. R. Johnson, R. S. Kercher. Copy Editor ........................... 0. P. Freilinger Proof Editor. ......................... J. F. Humiston Feature Editor ........................... C. R. Bristol Assistants .................... I. M. Addis, H. Levin Columnist ............................. J. A. Bucci News Reporte ................ J. B. Davis, J. J. Doudera, A. J. Dreis, C. L. DuSell, S. L. Err der, E. W. Engstrom, F. L. Fraizer, J. Galandak, H. A. Geeraerts, G. F. Graham, C. E. Hillman, M. Holland, B. W. Johnson, L. F. Kacel, It. Knabe, W. F. Kraemer, V. J. Kropf, J. Land, J. Laskie- wicz, F. Leason, N. McGuone, J. K. Morrison, H. S. Nochman, D. J. Neal, A. J. Ragon, M. B. Ste- vens, D. C. Timberlake, L. P. Werlein, and G. Zwissler. Assistant Sports Editor .................. E. F. Mczera Sports Reporters ..... M. Holland, J. O. Larson, 0. Tomei BUSINESS DEPARTMENT CirculationVManager .................... E. W. Schmidt Advertising Manager ..................... R. H. Iledin Business Assistants... ............. E. F. Dudley, E. Simek, F. A. Wertzler. Vol. Xlll. FEBRUARY 13, 1934 No. I Parting Remarks "The News passes on.” This may not mean a lot to the school in general but for a certain group of us, the outgoing stall", the words leave an empty spot. We realize that we are turning over the duties and the pleasures, the work and the play, because in a short time we are going.r to leave this place in which we have had the best time of our lives. In its comparatively short life the News has become one of the leading activities at Armour Probably more men have tried out for the 330va this year than for any other activity. And this occurs without any reward for work other than advancement, which means more work, No sweaters, letters, or charms are given for work on the News, but the satisfaction in work well done is a higher prize than these. 01‘ course there are many attractions in work. ing on the paper. The men who work on the Neil‘s for four years know much more about the school, students, and faculty than the other stu-' dents. All the news, printable and otherwise, fact. rumor and gossip, comes through the News office early in its travels. The companionship of fellows interested in the same things, sions” on Friday nights, the good natured banter are things impossible to evaluate, but things that will be missed very much. And for these reasons and many others we who are leaving feel that we are now taking the biggest step in tearing ourselves from our Alma Meter and entering the business world. In our short year of office we claim no radical changes but feel that we have continued the steady im—— movement which has been going on since the founding of the newspaper. We feel that the News has become an integral part of the school and has made its voice heard and its influence felt in student life. The coming year should show increased suc— cess. The incoming staff is well qualified in every way and has already made plans to obtain the in- creased interest of the students. greetings it is customary at this stage in journalistic advancement for the incoming management to affirm that the outgoing management has done remarkably fine work, to declare that they intend to do even better, and to narrate how they have enjoyed their relationships with their immediate predecessors. Showing [rue originality, we do not attempt to do differently. During the past year the paper has been im- proved. The use of material from other schools in an entertaining manner seems to have been ARMOUR www a “The filipsticlt” Cleave to “The Slipstiok"; let the Slapstick fly where it may. mm m. mmmm ”MAIN mm This is the time when all true Techmen take to their books (‘2) with the serious contention that studies will hold their attention and in the passing days garner them some A’s. From an article on the recent auto show we quote the following. “We like the high widows in streamlined cars." and suggest that maidens and matrons are nice too. 3k One of the prominent dcacons in an Ohio church was F l l l l l l l l l l i l i l l, E the “ses-l : 2 l I l i l seriously ill. As he was very popular among the con- gregation a bulletin was posted in front of the church to inform of his condition. It read: “One o’clock. Deacon Jones very ill.” ”Two o’clock. Deacon Jones is worse and sinking rap- idly." “Three o‘clock. Deacon Jones dead.” A traveling man passing by that evening read the bul- letin and, seeing no one in sight, added at the bottom: ”Seven oclock. Great excitement in Heaven. Deacon Jones has not arrived. The worst is feared.” . 3 “Yes, I guess it will be all right to give me gas before you pull the tooth, but how long will it be before I know anything?” “Listen, young fellow, don’t expect too much of the gas." s it 9‘ Frosh: “These are my Mae West problems.” McAulil’l‘e: “Mae West?" Fresh: “Yes, I done ’em wrong.” .1. >3 Two ladies, each with her child, visited the Art Instiv Lute. As they passed the “Winged Victory” the little boy exclaimed “Huh! She ain’t got no head.” “Sh!” the hor» rified little girl replied, “That’s art; she dont need none!" (F 131 ORIGINALITY A certain little girl was discovered by her mother en- gaged in a spirited encounter with a small friend who had got considerably worsted in the engagement. “Don‘t you know, dear," said the mother, “that it is very wicked to behave so? It was Satan that put it into your head to pull Elsie’s hair." “Well, perhaps it was," the child admitted, “but kick- ing; her shins was entirely my own idea." 1): vi “Time is money,” said Uncle Eben, “but jcs the Mme, de man dal find himself wit a lo! 0' time on his hon .5 has made a poor investment.” , i: :x: is» ‘ l I} all be true that I do think, i There arr five reasons we should drink; ' Goad wine‘m—n friend—or being did—— 01' [cs] um should be by and by] Or any olhm- reason why. *l‘ 1|: it : contemplating “Max has sent me an interesting book. ‘Rclativity’ by Einstein. Have you read it?" , “No. 1 am waitingr for it to be filmed.” 1. s .. “l have just taken a shine to your wii'e.’ to the negro as he left the house. i. said the pun-k lien: is a story of a lady who seemed to want a lot for her money. She rushed excitedly into the hardware de- partment. “Give me a n'iouse-trapi" she exclaimed. please, because I want to catch a train.” 1. e e . “Quickly, Till next week, and the contrib box is still on the first floor next to the elevator. J. A. B. favorably rec ived. Sidelines, presenting a dis- cussion of some topic of live public interest, has furnished food for thought. The influence of . the News in undergraduate affairs has not been limited to the dispensing of information but has served as a nucleus about which ideas forlthe common good can crystelize. We strive to improve more. improve on the journalistic style of all articles. In this issue “Student Musings” first appears. This answers a need, either real or imaginary, for an outlet for original student literary effort. It will appear only when material of, to us, ex— ceptional worth is available. Contributions for this column may be transmitted to us by means of the News box by the elevator or the box in the book store and, if up to standards, will be pub— lished. We intend to watch for opportunities for improvement and for service and to take advan— tage of them. (If we seem too introspective, remember this statement of intent comes but once a year.) We have enjoyed our relationships with the outgoing management. That we should have to- gether accomplished a task of no small size (the publishing of thirty issues of a paper of this type is not a small task) is an achievement. The task frequently has been a tedious one, but at all times a spirit of friendly cooperation has prevailed. If, when we leave, those who follow after have the same respect and admiration for us as we have for those who are now leaving the stafl", then we will feel well repaid. t s students attendinu Columbia Univer-l sity are receiving scholarships to aid l them in financing their education. hitchhiker’u guide for the benefit of the Eli’s who bum [heir way to New York every week-end. “00.15. usual on this problem. there were surprises and disappoint- merits not. to mention that many were PRIEST were mentions. with the dollar by giving out fifteen We intend to half mentions. i the approval of the N.R.A‘!'.".7 i l their spending their time designing the in- terior of the lobby from their Field; House’s. Home for (in Author," was given loo! Saturday to the juniors and sopho- mores. only inaugurated a. new semester but initiated the sophs to a Beams Arts esquice. Good luck, juniors and sophs/ brain. air ducts the other day he blared out with the bright remark . buy a duct?" pect from a Kvapillll hasn’t received the prize he won for get me? TECH NEWS oil-ten churosss Professors m’ Mills Collage, Culi- fornia, defend the slung of under- grm'limtrs us a technical college lan- gmlgc. They had better silo/c l0 their knifling.’ Students in an English class at Oklahoma A. dz M. College are lined one cent every time they misspell a word. The fund derived from this source is used to pay for on annual banquet of the class. All students at the University of California making a grade of “A" receive $5.00 rebate- their a an tuition. “I’m heretic enough to say that a man has no business in education af— ter 40." Such was the statement made recently by Dean K. P. R. Vevillc of the University of Western Ontario. The hounds chasing Eliza over the ice almost stopped theshow at the recent.produetion of “Uncle Tom’s Cabin” presented at the University of Michigan. An attempt to drag them across by leashes ended by hav- iup: the curtain rung down and an early intermission. Students a! Connecticut State Col~ lt-yc demand half royalties on comm- inulion papers which are cold to hu- mor publications. McGill University (Canada) stu« dents have turned out in such num~ hers i'or pingqmng‘ matches that the school has built 2). special bleacher- soclion to accommodate all specta-i tors. We‘re going: West! Mae West has been chosen to select the girls who make up the beauty section of Louisi» aha chh’s yearbook. From Santa Monica Junior College exmm paper-s: A taxidermist in a kind of tidal: fog; a toreador is a really in! storm: pooling—a practice in- dulged in by young men about town. A Dennison llniimrsity regulation roads: T110 slmlcyll may 1w rcincfalcd l only if («owner is caused by long cowl tinned illncns or (leulh. J W / Approximately one-third of all l —'_”— i An enterprising Yale journalist isl the printing of u The University of Arizona finds it any to substitute outside cleri- cal assistance for student employees when questions for examinations, l it comes to mimeog'raphinu W i slim News "l The usual posbmortems followedl um judgment or the junior “Library" i projects. Muybo a little more thanl Of course, i l l ‘tuhen down a peg, or tlxree"l! : Nevertheless, J 0 u N s o N and I rewarded with first‘ jury kept The abreast Does this meet with While waiting for the judgment of} Field Houses the so‘phs were The class B cellulose, “A Summer This memorable fourth not Kvapil seems to have ducks on the While listening to a lecture on . . “Wanna What could you ex- We wonder why Carl Seaberg be best piece of work dlone over the ummerl. ? Your own newsed wishes to an— nounce the sickness he was taken ill with was the mumps and not . . . I! Snooping Sam. i Tuesday, February l3, V934} in five pieces st once wdy rc/cpdone Conference telephone service ——-a new telephone convenience—nonablcs a number of people far apart to talk together as freely as though gathered around a table. This fosters quicker interchange of ideas in business ——- saves time and. money —-- cxpcdites decisions. For example: an executive wishes to discuss plans with his district managers. His tele- phone is connected simultaneously with each of theirs—all can talk, all hear everything that is said! Through constantly developing new uses, Bell System service grows more and more valuable. BELL TELEPHONE SYSTEM WHY NOT SAY "HELLO“ TO MOTHER AND DAD? v—RATES ARE LOWEST AFTER 8:30 I’. M. .— “* Elle m \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ Few \ There's genial sunshine and comfort in. BRIGGS Pipe Mixture . . . the delightful new tobacco that is winning smokers every- where. Mellowed in the wood for years, until it’s bitelcss, mild, and rare in flavor! Try a tin of BRIGGS and let it talk in. your pipe instead of in print. KEPT FACTORY FRESH by inner lining of CELLOPHANE i? ?. Loriilartfi Co.. Inc.