Student Publication of the

ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS
Published Weekly During the College Year

 

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SUBSCRIPTION RATES

$2.00 Per Year Single Copies, 10 Cents Each

ARMOUR TECH NEWS

 

 

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, “The Slipstick”

5 Cleave to “The Slipstick"; let

 

 

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MANAGING BOARD
Editor-in-Chief ................. Wilbur H. Rudolf, ’32
Managing Edito . . . . . .Max J. Schinke, ’32
News Editor. . . Edward W. Carlton, ’32
Business Manag . . . . . .James J. Casey, ’32
Faculty Adviser ........... ofessor Walter Hendricks

  
    
  

 

EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT

  

Feature Editor ................ J. R. Jackson, Jr.. ’32
Fraternity Assistant. . . .Harold Bodinson, ’33
Architectural Assistant. .. . .W. . Davies, ’33
Reviews ............. . . . .Morton Fagen, ’32
Columnist ..................... George Bonvallct, ’32

Assistant News Editor .......... Orville T. Barnett, ‘33

Copy Editor ........................ L. G. Wilkie, ’32

( J. B. Dirkers, ’32
Assistants .............. J. W. Juvinall, ’33
i F. W. Paine, ’33

 

Reporters
s. M. Lillis, ’34.
V. Rimsha, '34
J. A. Scheyer, ’34
R. Armshury, ’35.
B. B. Abrams, ’35.
C. K. Goldberg, ’35.
E. N. Sear], ’35.

E. E. Eberth, ‘33
R. F. Rychlik, ’33
H. Fishman, ’33

E. G. Avery, ’34
J. J. Bachner, '34.
N. E. Colburn, ’34
B. Hanson, ’34.

 

W. Krol, '34 G. W. Wheaton, ’35.
SPORTS DEPARTMENT .
Sports Editor ....... . ............. H. P. Richter, '32

 

Reporters
R. A. Fleissner, ‘34
D. F. Landwer, ’34
S. J. Viktora, ’34

C. H. Fox, ’32
H. F. Becker, ’33
H. W. Davidson, ’34

 

BUSINESS DEPARTMENT .
Advertising Manager ................. M. A. Collick, ’32
Ansistmmts
W. L. Bengston, ’32
L. Ingram, ’34.

R. E. Nelson, ’33
E. J. Wiltrakis, ’32
T. F. Quilty, ’35.
Circulation Manager ................. J. S. McCall, ’32
Aosiotamto .

E. H. Chan, ’32 L. Marcus, ’34
R. Dufour, ’33 T. C. Peavey, ’34
M. J. Erisman, ’33 C. B. Summer, ’33

E. A. .Svoboda, ’34
Vol. VIII

NOVEMBER 10, 1931 No. B

 

Give me the young man who has brains enough to
make a fool of himself.
Robert Louis Stevenson,
Born Nov. 13, 1850.

 

 

 

Wanted: flashetbull Backers

There has been considerable discussion at various
times in the past concerning the lack of a football team
at Armour. If the intensity of the interest shown can
be viewed as a criterion, a sufficient number of men
would turn out for the squad—at least for the first prac-
tice.

Anyone who has given thought to 11he matter should
be able to predict, with reasonable certainty, what would
happen after that first practice session. It would be
found that a high percentage of the would~be football
players had attended the practice at the expense of
cutting class. A much smaller group would come out
for the second day of training, these men would find
themselves dropping so far behind in their classwork as
to be in danger of failing, their numbers would diminish
from day to day and before long the whole enterprise
would collapse for lack of players.

The above prediction does not express our own
opinion only. It portrays the ideas of most of the men
who have given the matter sane consideration. That
this is the case is proved by the fact that no movement
for the formation of a football team has succeeded in
carrying itself beyond the stage of elementary discus-
sion. Everyone in school realizes that the Armour
schedule is far too long: and strenuous to allow many
men to devote the amount of time to football that the
game requires.

But if the interest in football is as great as the known
facts seem to indicate, should not a considerable portion
of that interest be directed toward other sports—sports
that actually exist at Armour? If we are so filled with
school spirit that we earnestly desire a football team and
bemoan the conditions that keep it from the realm of
possibilities, why not show some of that collegiate 10y,-
alty in a more constructive manner? Crying for some-
thing definitely beyond the possibility of atflainment is
one of the most futile of human endeavors; lending sup-
port where support is needed is one of the most bene-
ficial.

For the past several years, Armour’s basketball teams
have had much less support than they were reasonably
entitled to receive. Few things encourage a team as
much as the knowledge that, whether it; wins or loses,
the student body is backing it and is giving it all the
support possible.

The basketball team has started practice but recently.
The men who are trying out for the squad are making
quite appreciable sacrifices in order to do so. Let’s play
square with them by attending the games for which
they spend so many hours of practice.

 

 

 

To a Freshman

Why do you want to wear such a hat

Cooked on the top of your head?
You know it looks like a bit of a rat

That acts as though it were dead.
A freshman is bad enough as he is

He’s bad enough, homely enough, look at his “phlz”
I’d rather be the freshmen wear little tams,

”l‘would make them gentle and peaceful as lambs.
A freshman looks silly whatever he wears,

So what is the difference? Who knows or who cares?

—-Jacques Pierre.

Thanks, Jaques, hope you’ll be around again. But if

the frosh put in a complaint, you are to blame.

X Pk sit

And our own news chaser, Ballyhoo Blurper, has it]
that one Mr. Nebcl has applied Radio theory to Miech.
Lab. and is now trying to convince his radio group that
the only proper method of determining the velocity of
an electron is to place a Pitot tube within the vacuum
tube.

This idea sounds original (to say the least).
like to be informed of the results (if any).

Ilr' 3% 3k

AN OPEN LETTER
To the Bongineer:

Would like to know what you pay for your conces—
sion. Why don’t you write a book and publish it? In
that way those who like the Slipstick Column may read
it and the other 99 44-100ths percent of us will not be
disgusted every Tuesday morning. If you can’t get
enough contributions from fellows in school you could
buy a joke book or run jokes printed elsewhere. There
probably wouldn’t have been any column at all if you
didn’t have the Empress Eugenie hat and its applica—
tion to the frosh to crack wise about.

Just as a little summation we believe the Slipstick
Column is inadequate, insipid, and unbearable.

“:33”.

We’d

s: n .i.

Thanxalot, old man, we’re glad to get your opinion.
We believe every word you say and we fully agree with
you. Too bad somebody started the Eugenie movement;
crazy idea, isn’t it? As for the book, we’ve got it on
the press now. Watch for the first day on sale. We’ll
even autograph your copy.

At any rate we’re glad to know that you enjoy the
Column and anytime we can be of further assistance
to you just-let us know. .

i: :5: :i< w

“How did you like the banquet last night?”

“Not at all."

“What was the trouble? Bum food?”

“Oh, the food was good, but I sat next to a lady
who squinted, and she ate off my plate all the time."

ii! 1i! i

We were just admiring the Senior Jacket on display
in the lobby with Mort and Tom when some small voice
from the back ground piped up:

“Where's the hat and pants?”

‘ *
WRONG AGAIN

“Which one is your aunt, the one on the right or the
one on the left of the scarecrow?”

“The one in the middle.”

is

our rulers
ruminant

But don’t believe everything you hear. We under-
stand the rifle club is trying to arrange a match with
a team composed of faculty members.

We wonder if the intended match could be anything
but an honorable contest.
vi: 116 .i.

While on the subject of the rifle club we want to say
that while down on the range last week we overheard
some sophomore ask DiCkey if he lived in the suburbs.

“No,” he replied, “just in one of them.”

as: a a:

firmer, Better Lunch Hours
Yes, mister editor, we are fully in accord with your
idea for a longer lunch hour, one lasting, say, from
11:00 o'clock to about 1:00, or thereabouts. Of course
we don’t like the idea of coming to school at 8 bells,
but the longer lunch period is very good. And another
thing you might editorialize upon would be to ’move
the lunchroom between Main and Mission, for the win-
ter months especially.
Ill 1k
WE THANK YOU, SOMEBODY
Yes, we are very thankful. Somebody ran out of gas
while driving off with Vii-go’s car, and left it in the
middle of the street up on the North Side.
As a result we know right now that we will not have
to ride the street car to the,S,enior Dance.
I4 ’l‘

31*
Klopptrappl-e: “What did you realize on your various
stock investments?"
Beerbarr el: “What a fool I was.”
=i< :11 k

Blacksmith: “Now Pat, I'm going to take this horses
shoe out of the fire and lay it on the anvil. When I nod
my head, you hit it as hard as you can with that] harn-
mer.” .

Pat did, and the blacksmith was buried the next day.

Ir a}: it

And to end our weekly lecture let us leave you wiih
the thought that “an onion a day gives your diet away."
The Bongineer.

 

REVIEWS

THE WORLD’S ECONOMIC
DELLEMA
By Ernest Minor Patterson

“The World’s Economic Dilemma”
by Ernest Minor Patterson, is a
rather detailed picture of the world
situation today, discussed from a
broadly international point of view
with analytical treatment of actual
conditions in various localized sec—
tions. The book is an attempt to pres—
ent the fundamental factors which to-
day govern the economic balance of
the world with the object of indicat-
ing how these factors have created, in
an insidious but quite orderly man-
nor, a perplexing dilemma.

So far we have nothing to justify
Professor Patterson’s labor or the
time we might spend in the reading
of his volume. The fact of inter—
dependence is quite well known and
the difficulties attendant have been
discussed widely since the close of the
war. In fact, we might delicately ask,
“Oh yeah?” and “What of it?"
(slight pause between for echo to
die). Despite our indifl’erence to ques-
tions in political economy, most of us
are well aware of the hitherto pro-
posed solutione; universal peace, the
League of Nations, a World Court,
lowering- of tarifi’ barriers, free trade,
socialism, prohibition, and idealism.
I believe that dollar wheat, five-cent
cigars, dime movies, and two-bit hair-
cuts have been mentioned. Lydia
Pinkham’s, Plow Boy Rough Cut,
non-usinkable soap, and horsehair
mattresses may soon be exploited as
the certain way to international good
will,

Patterson starts with a clean slate;
one of his first statements is that,
unfortunately, no one of them nor
even all combined (not including the
last eight) would be adequate. The
problem is far more complex. And
then he rolls up his sleeves.

 

I
_l

 

A... formula
“Murder“ Howard drawing”

this, tables have been developed showng
just how much of any item should be
stocked to meet: requirements most eco—
nomically. Result: investment in stock
is kept low-turnover is speeded-up -—
99.25% of orders are filled without delay!

The Working out of this formula is
typical of the thought Bell System men
give to improving the telephone art in

Bare ‘ ‘cupboards’ ’ or overstocked ones
——are costly in any industry. in the Bell
System a safe margin of telephone sup-
plies mmz‘ clearly: be on hand to assure
continuous, efficient service.

Telephone men attacked this problem
of distribution in a scientific spirit——
studied every angle of purchasing, ship-
ping,warehousing,costs,noethods. There
emerged a mathematical formula. From

EELL

A NATEON-WIDB SYSTEM

The effects of growing population,
congested areas, difficulties in secur—
ing food, raw materials and markets,
the continual attempt to raise stand-
ards of living by migration, are all
piled up against the current reaction
to the emigration movement to indi-
cate the trend of the growing prob-
lem. Increasing the difficulties are
the growth of capital, the nature of
the monetary system, the corpora-
tion form of organization, and the
existence of huge business combina-
tions, since all of these tend to neces»
sitate a high degree of mutual de-
pendence where none can be had.
Further, there are forces making for
imperialistic policies in nearly every
country today, and in the reel of in~
ternational political dealings if any
ethical code at all exists, it is a harsh
one.

In order to show exactly how these
factors are influencing the economic
status of the leading nations today,
the author analyzes the affairs of
Great Britain, France, Germany,
Italy, Japan and the United States.

The standard of living in England
is higher than that of any nation on
the Continent, yet with its very
dense population, it is extremely de-
pendent upon the rest of the world
for a large part of the necessities of
life. Germany’s economic recovery,
following upon its “nationalization”
or the scientific industrial manage
ment plan, means, more than ever
before, a need for co-operation on
the part of other nations. Markets
must be kept open, large amounts of
capital are necessary, and most im—
portant of all, reparation payments
must be reduced if the prospect of
German default is to be avoided; a
situation which would result in a
huge flow of German goods to all the
world markets. France is today pros-
perous and economically strong. Due
to its diversification of industry and
the policy of reconstruction the
problem of suitable markets is be-
coming a grave one. Italy is one of
the best illustrations of the dilemma

all its phases.

 

e»

08

Tuesday, November l0, l93l

z

faced by the modern world. With
limited resources, a dense population,
growing with great rapidity, and an
industrial life dependent upon im-
ported fuel and high tariffs there is
only one way of continued existence;
close co-operation with the rest of
the world. The United States, in
spite of its own large supplies of raw
materials and its vast crews of farm
hands, is calling upon outside sources
for huge supplies of foodstufl's and
raw material.

He makes four suggestions for
constructive effort in solving it. First
is the plan for solving it through
commercial treaties. Reduction in
tariffs may be agreed upon through
mutual concessions which bring a
definite and prompt gain. Second is
the formation of international cor-
porations through which business dis-
putes, quarrels over raw materials,
and the question of selling prices
may be adjusted. Financial organ—
izations of international character
might produce benefits by obviating
the concern of individual national
governments in supporting- their own
groups. The third suggestion is the
International Chamber of Commerce.
This organization affords an oppor»
tunity for business men of different
countries to talk over their differ-
ences, to present their views, and to
correlate the points on which they
all agree. Finally, the League of
Nations is suggested. There are pos—
sibilities for this, or a similar league,
in leading to co-operation in treaties,
in finance, and in all of those details
attendant upon international rela—
tions.

 

“The World’s Economic Dilemma”
is meant to be primarily informative.
So it is, with the added grace of
lucidity. Recognizing its object and
the attendent limitations, we have
something different from the usual
economic exposition, but I feel that
most of us shouldn't care to read the
book. Go through this review again,
and set the problem on the shelf.

Morton Fegen.

 

to end

SYEEEMI

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