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Student Publication of the

ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS
Published Weekly During the College Year

   

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SUBSCRIPTION RATES

$2.00 Per Year Single Copies, 10 Cents Each

MANAGING BOARD

d‘ -‘ -Chief. . . . . . ..... Wilbur H. Rudolf, ’32
$553225; Editor . ..... Max J. Schmke, ’32
News Editor ..... . . .Edward W. Carlton, ’32
Business Manager. . . . . . . . .James J. Casey,_’32
Faculty Adviser. . . . .Professor Walter Hendricks

  
  

          

 

 

 

EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT
Feature Editor. . . . ...... J. R. Jackson, Jr.. ’32
Fraternity Assistant. . . . . . . . .Harold Bodinson, ‘33
Architectural Assistant. . . . . . Davies, ’33

  

      

 

 

Reviews . . . . . . . .Morton Fagen, ’32
Columnist ...... . . George Bonvallet, ’32

Assistant News Editor. Orville T. Barnett, 33

Copy Editor . ....................... L. G. Wilkie, ’32

J. B. Dirkers, ’32
Assistants. ..... . . . . . . . . J_ W. Juvinall, ,33
Reporters

E. E. Eberth ’33 E. G. Avery ’34

r. w. Paine,,’33 N. E. Clolbuin, ’34

R. r. Rychlik, ’33 l}, $35,,th

H. Fishman, ’33

J. A. Scheyer, ’34

ARMOUR TECH NEWS

 

EXPERIENCE TELLS

 

 

 

 

 

 

a third rate showhouse.
[MPORTANCE OF HUMOR “We are alone!” exclaimed the ill-meaning villain.

The most successful men and women are those who
know how to get along with their fellow men, who
know how to obtain and keep good will. In fact, one of
the biggest problems in business is this same human
problem, making people like you and each other.

It has been said that nothing: orls toe wheels of human
relationship so nicely as humor. Abr: ham Lincoln knew
this, and we find that many of his nor. so serious anec-
dotes cleared up rather critical situations.

Humor may be said to he the universal passport to
popularity. With these facts in mind, read on, gentle
reader.

empty seats.

 

six~footer who bought 3. Louis XVI bed.

XVIII one.

 

the other paid a dollar and a half.”
“I see, one got gypped, hey.”
“Now, he got a sharp knife."

NOT MUCH DANGER

 

A restaurant owner with plenty of advertising ambi-
tion and little in the way of cash purchased the largest
fish bowl he could find, filled it with water, and put it
in his front window with the following sign:

“This bowl contains twelve invisible Paraguayan Gold-
fish."

It required three cops to keep the crowd back.

my foot on the rail?”

one on the trolley.”
”35’er.

 

 

Bargain Day Special
Where There’s Life, There’s No Hope

Poet: “Do you think there is a chance of getting my
poems printed in your magazine?”

Editor: “There may be. I shan’t live forever.”

lingerie department!”
Inattentive floorwalker: “Beautiful, isn’t it?
the desk, if you please.”

 

W” “W w “w“ W ”WW“ ', W “Are you the man who got married in a cage of
tigers?”
6 6 o o 9 a “Yup.”
@ Epgtfia ‘4‘ “Didn’t it, seem exciting?"
y 2 “It did then. It wouldn't now.”
. . . —Rad

; Cleave to “The Slapstick'; let
i the Slapstick fly where it may. 6 TRUE
m Amman!» mm mm Mmmm m The curtain rung up for the first scene of an act at

“Almost!” quoth his assistant, scanning the rows of

The most pitiful case we’ve ever seen is that of a big
He found it
too small, so went back and exchanged it‘ for :1 Louis

“I once knew two guys that went in the same rest—
aurant, got a steak apiece, and one paid one dollar and

Lady (to motormanl: “Would it be dangerous lo put

Motorman: “Oh no, not much, unless you put the other

Lady (with black eye): “See what I just got in your

Pay at

Tuesday, October 20, l93l

Popular
“When I go into a theatre lthe people always stand‘
up and look at me.”
“Is that right!”
“Yes, I am always late.”
——Chemilcer.

 

One Second Drama

Scene: London.

Dramatis Personae: London cabbies (2).

Apparatus: Cabs (2).

Theme Song: Any taxi-dance music.

Cabbie No. 1: “Aw wott’s the matter with you?"

Ditto No. 2: “Nothink’s the matter with me.”

Ditto No. 1: “You gave me a nasty look.”

Ditto No. 2: “Me? Why, you certainly ’ave a nasty
look, but I didn’t give it to you."

We are getting disappointed in the class of ’35. Not a
single barnyard poet among the bunch. Last year we
had a poem for the head of the column almost every
week. But this year it is different; we have not seen-
a bit of ’35 poetry as yet.

Contributions aplenty come in, but no poetry.
need barnyard poetry. The campus abounds in sub-
ject-matter. For instance we composed a peacherino
about the mustachio clipping but didn’t have room to
print it. -

Let’s have some barnyard poetryl!

Start it off like this:

“ ’Twas the night before Christmas
And all thru the house,

Not a creature was stirring,
Not even the house."

 

We

 

Say, we had a. red hot last line, but somebody told us
that our juice problem was all wet, whereupon we flew
into a rage and forgot said last line. But just wait till
next Week.

 

The Bongineer.

 

SPORTS DEPARTMENT
Sports Editor ......... . . . ......... H. P. Richter, ’32

 

Reporters
R. A. Fleissner, ’34
D. F. Landwer, ’34.
S. J. Viktora, ’34
BUSINESS DEPARTMENT
Advertising Manager .............. ..M. A. Collick, ’32
Asnistants

C. H. Fox, ’32
H. F. Becker, ’33
H. W. Davidson, ’34

R. E. Nelson, ‘33 . L. Bengston, ’32

E. J. Wiltrakis, ’32

Circulation Manager. . . . . . . . . . . ...... J. S. McCall, ’32
Assistants

E. H. Chun, '32 L. Marcus, ’34

R. Dufour, ‘33 T. C. Peavey, ’34

M. .l. Erisman, Y33 C. B. Summer, ’33

E. A. Svoboda, '34

Vol. Vlll No. 5

OCTOBER 20, 1931

“To appreciate heaven well
’Tis good for a man to have some fifteen minutes in
hell.”

Will Carleton,
Born October 21, 1845.

 

 

More About Hats

Our suggestion in last week’s editorial that the fresh-
men at Armour adopt the time-honored custom of wear—
ing some particular kind of hat as a distinguishing mark
was greeted with considerable approval. Quite‘a few
were unreservedly in favor of the idea and many more
indicated that they would suopm-t the enterprise once
it was under way. Several n-en, prominent in school
afl'airs, offered as their opinion that, since the News
is in the best position to spread any new idea, we should
endeavor to coordinate, through the editorial column, the
various forces necessary to a successful establishing of
the proposed custom.

Acting in accordance with the suggestion given by
these men, we have investigated the situation and are now
in a position to make the following recommendations.

First; that a paper stating the proposal and its object
be circulated among the three upper classes so that any
man who is actively in favor of establishing the custom
may so signify by signing his name. In that way, an
accurate determination of the enthusiasm and support
for the measure may be made. If a sufficient number
of upper-elassmen show interest in the suggestion, the
succeeding recommendations may he used as a guide for
further actions.

Second; that the type of hat to be adopted be neither
the old-fashioned skull-cap, nor the more recently popu-
lar Eugenie. The headgear we would suggest is the
“overseas” hat of the U. S. army. Such a hat, dyed
black and adorned with a brilliant yellow feather, would
be both serviceable and distinctive. “Overseas" hats
may he obtained at any army store for a moderate price,
are sufficiently warm to be satisfactory even in cold
weather, may be carried in a. brief case when not being
worn, and are made to stand rough treatment. In short,
they are ideally adapted to our needs.

The feather may be obtained at most novelty stores for
a trifling sum and should be not less than about eight
inches long. If it were sewed at two or three places
alongr the side of the hat it would not be likely to be-
come broken or lost.

Third, that a deadline both of time and place be de—
termined. A date could be set, after which the new hats
would be the only type of freshman headgear allowed
on the campus. The boundaries could be defined within
which the wearing of the hats would be compulsory. We
do not think it either fair or practical that hate be
worn by students while they are commuting.

We do not claim that the above recommendations are
final and unalterable. Anyone having a suggestion as
to the method of procedure to be adopted is invited to ad-
dress it to the Armour Tech News and niece it in the
box in the school store. Any such communications must
be signed by the sender if they are to be published in
the Nuns.

 

M..a............. We

 

"My throat is all important to me. H
..r No harsh irritants for yours truly.
Give me Lucky Strike every time.
And put yourseli on the hack
ion” your new fiellophane
wrapper With their rule which
makes the package so easy
to open."

Dorothy Muclmilli is the some fasci-
nating, rollicking personality in real life
osthe ports she plays.Walch for Dorothy
in her next first Nation-I Picture,
"Safe lln Hell.” There is never a dull
moment in any of First? Marionul’a
pictures starring their Muclmill girl.

 

514=l¢=l==l<$5l¢

 

 

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Eellophane. Sealed tight-lEver
right. The Unique Humidor Pack-v
age. flip-And it’s open! See. the

i new notched tab on the top of the
package. Hold down. one half with
your thumb. Tear oil-T the other
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Wrapped in dust—proof, moistureaproof, germs
proof Cellophane. Clean, protected, neat,
FRESHl~what could be more modern than
EUCKEES’ improved Humidor package—so
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mayoral? ringer nail proteetiom

 

 

 

Motels ol‘ the

lining Throat Protection w- @. cinch irritation - ageing? snug. h

 

 

 

dined Moisturenpmof @slfiophane Keeps
shad “donated” Mayor Ever Fresh

ME [IV—31MB Lucky Strike Dance Omliests‘a, wavy Tuesday,
Thursday and Saturday evening over N.B.C. networks.

    
  
   
  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
  
  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
  
 
 
 
 
 
  
 
 
 
  
   
 
 
  
 

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throne protection or she exclusive “'E@ASTEN%"
Process which includes the use at modem
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gain harsh, hiring irritants sawmill}: present in
every tobacco lawfulness expelled iwlmmseum
not present- in year HEM? SYRlKEE. ”They’re 95g:
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are flaflm its» your throat.

'A' Is Miss Mueknill'o
Statement Paid For?

Voumuybein'uresledin
knowing that no! one
cent was paid lo Miss

cigareflas for 6 years.
We hope the publicity
horowilhgivenwillbeas
beneficial to her and lo
Firs! Nulionul,hsr pro-
ducers,as her endorse-
ment of LUCKIES is
‘r to you and to us.

 

 

 

 

Coon. 1931.
The American
new Co.

 

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