Page Two mom “son Wei/cs Student Publication of the ARMOUR lNSTlTUTE OF TECHNOLOGY CHICAGO, ILLINOIS Published Weekly During the College Year a nuance) ASNDE IA? iltDW 49o" , n Emllfflf NIWhPAWEWS SUBSCRlPTlON RATES $2.00 Per Year Single Copies, 10 Cents Each MANAGKNG BOARD Editor-in-Chicf. . . . . . . . . . . . ..... Wilbur H. Rudolf, ’32 Managing Editor. . . . . .Max J. Schinke, ’32 News Editor ............ Edward W. Carlton, ’32 Business Manager . . .James J. Casey, ’32 Faculty Adviser. . . __.——————-—————— EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT ' P10 essor Walter Hendricks ______________‘ Feature Editor. . . . ....... . . . . .J. R. Jackson, Jr., ’32 Fraternity Assistant. . . . . . .Harold Bodinson, ’33 Architectural Assistant. . . . .W. W. Davies, ’33 Art Assistant ...... . . ....... .Dave Chapman, ’32 Reviews . . . . . . .Morton Fagen, ’32 Columnist ..... . .George Bonvallet, ’32 Assistant News Editor. . Orville T. Barnett, ’33 Copy Editor .................. L . Wilkie, ’32 _ J. B. Dirkers, ’32 Assmtants ....... . . . . . . . J. W. Juvinall, ,33 Reporters E. G. Avery, ’34 N. E. Colburn, ’34 W. Krol, ’34 V. Rimsha, ’34 J. A. Scheyer, ’34 E. E. Ehcrth, ’33 F. W. Paine, ’33 R. F. Rychlik, ’33 H. Fishman, ’33 SPORTS DEPARTMENT ARMOUR TECH NEWS V vv WW wwvvwww r“ ’ “rite slapstick” . V‘. Cleave to “The Slipstick”; let the Slapstick fly where it may. mm mm m mmhmmm HUMOR Somebody—was it Mark TWain?—0nce said that there were but clevcn original jokes in the world; that these were known in prehistoric days; and that all other jokes are but modifications. Max Beerbohm at one time codified all of the English comic papers and found the following to be the most discussed: mothers—in-law, hen-peeked husbands, old maids, fatness, thinness, seasickncss, stuttering and a few more. American newspapers would have a somewhat difv fcrcnt list. Again, we have our stock jokes. For instance, Boston is a, joke to Chicago. Foreigner jokes are numerous, in- deed, our great American sense of humor has been ex» plained as an outgrowth from the vast field of incon— gruities arising out of a civilization undergoing develop ment. A sense of humor is an asset, nay, a necessity to business and to success. We must learn to put humor to practical use, for the politician can use, it to pave the way to office, the business man to obtain a huge deal, the after dinner speaker to gain an appreciative listener, yea, the ordinary man can use it ever so often every day, Some of us persist in telling our funny story; our listen— ers are reminded of another which reminds us of an— other, and so far into the night - - - - But enough of this; we advise trying humor as a, yes, a cure-all; a tonic for the down-hearted, a diversion for the over-worked, and a relief for the wornnout mind, aye, a real cure-all. Take a dose before thcrmo quizzes and Incidentally, the above alleged editorial contains reason number two for the run on “stale jokes" of the past few “Say, mister,” said the little fellow to a neighbor, “are you the man who gave my brother a dog last week?” “Well, my pa says for you to come and take them all Two Irishman were walking alongy a wharf and soon came upon a fish of unusually large size. Pat turned to “The man who caught that fish is a liar." WHAT! N0 MUMMYH Old lady (visiting the New York museum) : “Have you a mummy of King Tut here?” Attendant: “No madam.” O. L. (somewhat amazed) :) “Dear me. very fine one in the London museum.” They have a A friend is one who see your paint of view and laughs at your jokes. We have no friends.” THIS IS THE OPEN SEASON FOR SUCH ACTS AS SHOE PULLIN‘G, mustache clipping, and other vanA dalous acts. The seniors have started off with a bang. One man has come into class with his striped socks show- ing. Another has gone to the blackboard with the price tag on his suit. tomer for the quoisbarbers. REPEATED BY REQUEST Some men are born with humor; some have humor thrust upon them; and some men went derby hats. OUR BLUFF CALLED Yes, our bluff has been calledll Someone has asked us a question of an engineering nature and asked us to prove our engineering ability. We have been asked to design a 750 horsepower boiler, with a maximum overload capacity of 200 percent, to gen- erate energy for a 1600 horsepower hour system. That’s easy. Work ’em thirty hours a day, man, thirty hours a day. Any more questions? AND THAT SAME MAN WHO WORE THE PRKCE tug has finally fallen before the barbers. Friday morn- ing saw the coming off parties of about eleven famous moutachios, and a few more may have been snapped after this note was written. "YOUR OWN BABY CAN BE ENLARGED. TINTED, AND FRAMED FOR ONLY $5.00 PER DOZEN." Opportunity knocks but once. But it’s up to you to determine when it’s opportunity and when it’sthe col- lcctor. SHADES 0F DEPRESSION “How much to pull a tooth?" “One dollar with electricity and fifty cents with gas.” ‘7” “Two bits with kerosene Dini . V . it notciunr's lessons Pm W " “E. W £93". fevers WM This same person is a prospective cus— Tuesday, October i3, l93i CHIEF BARBER SANDSTROM threatens to go into the business. We think he will make a success. STAKE. JOKE N0. Y Sam: Dey is two things whut Ah ueveh kin hev fo’ Breakfast.” Rastus: ”An’ whut dey is, big boy?” Sam: “Dinneh an" suppeh." #Francois. AND IF YOU DEAR READER, will turn to the article on the Rifle Club, you will read that the honor- able members hold up their iargets with thumhmcks. They find more Sport in shooting at the thumbtacks than at the targets. We call that rather small shooting; don’t you think so? “I don’t see why, but my razor doesn‘t seem to cut at all." “What, Henry; do you mean to tell me that your heard is tougher that that linoleum?” Trans—oceanic flying may become common soon but at present the walking,r looks rather damp if a break- down occurs. THIE SCOTCH AGAIN “Yeah, them sun dials shor is Scotch.” “How come, Pericles?” “They ain’t no wear and tear on dark days." M—Rad. ‘ HOW DlWFERENT FROM CHI In China when the telephone subscriber rings up the exchange the operator may be expected to ask: ‘ What does the honorable son of moon and stars de- sire?” “Wangti 7890.” Silence, then the answer: “Will the honorable person graciously forgive the in- adequacy of the inadequacy of the insignificant service and permit this humble slave of the wire to inform him i that the never-to-be—sufi’iciently—censurcd line is busy. Free shaves, free shaves, who will be next to have a free shave? Yours truly, he Bongineer. THE EQULEVARD CAFETEREA fillet Street and Mich. Ave. ng and Dancing from 3 P. M. to Midnight No Cover Charge mm , Sports Editor ................ .....H P. Richter, '32 a ““16 me am" Reporters b. H. Fox, ’32 H. W. Davidson, ’34 H. 1. Becker, '33 D. F. Landwer, 134 weeks. S. J. Viktora, ’34 ’ . BUSINESS DEPARTMENT Advertismgr Manager ......... . ....... M. A. Collick ’32 . . ’ “Why, yes." R E Nel ’33 Assistants l B ’ ' . _. son, . 4. en to 32 , Circulation Manager. .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . ”LESS. Mn’cCall, ’32 hawk" Assistants E. H. Chun, ’32 J. F. Bonncll, ’34 R. Dufour, ’33 L. Marcus, ‘34 . - c. B. Sommers, ’33 T. c. Peavey, ’34 his “WWW" and said: J. A. Bacci, ’34 C. T. Seaberg, ’34 E. J. Wiltrakis, ’32 " Vol. Vlll OCTOBER 13, 1931 No. 4 The Freshman Handshake It is the custom at Armour to hold each year a general gathering of the students to which the freshmen are para ticularly invited. The meeting for this year was held last Wednesday evening. The object of this meeting is to afford the upper class» men and the freshmen an opportunity to become mutually acquainted. Since all classes are invited, and what is more important, since all classes are represented at the “Handshake”, the desired result is accomplished to a con- siderable degree. A gathering of this kind is a real necessity in a school such as Armour. All of us are quite likely to be so busy with our school Work that our relations with members of the other classes will amount to a mere “nodding” acquaintance. It is obvious to anyone who considers it that such a condition certainly is not conducive to strong school spirit and a unified student body. If we remain in our own small sphere and know noth- ing about the men in the other courses and classes, if we have few acquaintances and fewer friends, we might as profitably study engineering- through a correspondence school as far as the benefit from college life is concerned. We have heard it said that learning how to meet people is even more important than meeting them. A college course can be made really valuable in this way if the man taking the course has an interest in his fellow stu- dents throughout the entire school. Eugenie Hats for Fresh In view of the widening popularity of Eugenie hats as substitutes for the conventional skulvaap or “pot" al— ways associated with college freshmen, perhaps it is fitting to voice a few remarks on the subject. If skull caps ever constituted a required part of the equipment of Armour freshmen, we have never heard of it, and con- sequently we assume that such has not been the case, at least, for some years past. Still, there is something to be said in favor of the idea. In the past, freshmen have been barred from the use of the library during the morning, from the use 01' the eleva- tor at any time, and from the use of certain tables in the lunchroom. All of these rules have suffered in recent years from lack of rigid enforcement. At present it is impossible to recognize freshman as such except by his boisterous attitude or his hunted look. While we are heartily in favor of having a united stuA dent body, we realize that sophomores are more likely to appreciate their rating if they have but recently emerged from a state set aside by some distinguishingr mark or some restraint other than those set by nature. We do not go so far as to advocate the adoption of the Eugenie hat as the proper headwear for freshmen, nor do we place ourself unreservedly in favor of the time-honored skull cap. We merely offer the suggestion that either would serve as the desired distinguishing mark. If any men are interested, we are sure that they can handle the matter without our assistance. Wll’ti ;' pearly teeth. utiermoths. Play safe. Smoke pure- tébuccc O.Gs. They leave nothing behind but nleosuni recollections. his AkliFlClAlL morons to Olfl QQLDS Charming women are first won by OLD GOLDS‘ appealing taste. But their enthusiasm doubles when they find that OLD cows do not mine the breath or mar the whiteness of That's because OLD GOLD is a pure- fobocco cigarette. Made from the finest naturevflovored tobacco. So good, it needs no added flavoring. it’s "foreign flavoring," not good tobacco . . . that leaves unwanted EARN? 'l'tili BREATH . . . 9 E‘. Leanne in, lot. 9% S'E‘AEN 'fi‘i‘iE E‘fifit‘fi