Page: Two snack tall titers Student Publication of the ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY CHICAGO, ILLINOIS Published Weekly During the College Year WHMCAGGD assoc HAT MN! pl?” ummm ' course urn/smut“ SUBSCRIPTION RATES $2.00 Per Year Single Copies, 10 Cents Each ARMOUR TECH NEWS Tuesday, March 3i, 1931 l m vwvww wwmw “H“ ”The fiiipsticis” Cleave to ”The Slipstick"; let the Slapstick fly where it may. ww Wm W “l m h. mmmhmmlmmmmmmflmnm TAKE SPRIG‘G‘ SOGG— (Wm! verse of which is pridtcd evury spring.) 'Tis sprigg, ’Tis sprigg ’Tis beautiful sprigg, MANAGING BOARD Editor-in-Chief ................. Wilbur H. Rudolf, ’32 Managing" Editor ................. Max J. Schinke, ’32 News Editor ................. Edward W. Carlton, ’32 Business Manager ................ James J. Casey, ’32 Faculty Adviser. .Professor Walter Hendricks ADVISORY BOARD Advisory Editor ............... .Fred B. Attwood, ’31 . . (Alvin B. Au'erbach, ’31 AdVism'y Associates ......... Arthur H. Jens, :31 (Frank W. Spalding, ’31 Whed (la robid is oud 0d da wig, tra-la-la, Whed (la robid is oud od da wig, tra-la—la, "l‘is sprigg, "l‘is sprigg Yes wudderful sprigg, Ad da cows are begiddig to sig, tra—la-la, Ad (la cows are begiddig to sig, tra-lada, m .3 .3: We were talking to Newt yestidday A. M. when he pipes up “Gee I wish I had my desk here." “How come?” sez us. and my slide rule in it. EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT Feature Editor ................ J. R. Jackson, Jr., ’32 Fraternity Assistant ........... Harold Bodinson, ’33 Architectural Assistant. . . ........ W. W. Davies, ’33 Art Assistant .................. Dave Chapman, ’32 Reviews ....... . ............... Morton Fagen, ’32 Columnist ..................... George Bonvallet, ’32 At istant News Editor. ......... Orville T. Barnett, ’33 SPORTS DEPARTMENT Sports Editor ..................... H. P. Richter, ’32 Associate Editor .......... . ...... C. Stempkowski, ’33 Reporters R. G. Kellncr, ’31 J. B. Dirkers, ’32 F. A. Ustryski, ’32 L. G. Wilkie, ’32 A. Weston, ’32 J. W. Juvinall, ’33 S. T. Leavitt, ’33 R. J. Mulroney, ’33 R. F. Rychlik, ’33 E. G. Avery, ’34 N. E. Colburn, ’34 H. L. Gibson, ’34 W. Krol, ’34 D. F. Landwer, ’34 J. P. McGuan, ’34 V. Rimsha, ’34 J. A. Scheyer, ’34 BUSINESS DEPARTMENT Advertising Managers.M. A. Collick, ’32—H. Monger, ’33 Assistant: R. E. Nelson, ’33 W. L. Bengston, ’32 Circulation Manager ...... . .......... J. S. McCall, ’32 Asnistants J. A. Bacci, ’34 J. F. Bonnell, ’34 T. C. Peavey, ’34 C. T. Scaberg, ’34 E. H. Chun, ’32 R. Dufour, '33 F. W. Paine, ’33 C. B. Summers, ’33 Vol. VII MARCH 31, 1931 fr 4: .1. After an orgy of spending the last shekels on this, of forty cents each per year for books. Personally we don‘t belic—, but what’s your reaction. Our is acid. 1i: 1k 1% “Pop, what’s an advertisement?” “An advertisement, my son, is a picture of a pretty girl eating, wearing, holding, or driving something that somebody wants to sell.” ii: Has Possibilities Pigmy golfer (to proprietor): “Say, this is a great idea. Why don’t you do it on a larger scale?" Mebbe that gawfcr didn’t know his gawf but at any rate we’ll concede that one advantage of the micrometer links is that when you lose a ball you can pick up the course and shake it out. a 1:: x) ’l‘ (1 They say walking is becoming a lost art. We are not afraid of this ever being true as long as the house and garage are separated by a few steps. CORN CENTERS ITEM l Ezry scz thet tha poli ‘huns wuz mutt-h Wurse hack in ikulonial dazc. He sez it s so becuz he heard thet a hunch ,o‘r' guy framed the Constitution wunct. m :i: a We might offer the information to the freshmen at No. 7 this time that a Tau Beta is a student who can call a professor “mister” and get away with it. “Little minds are tamed and subdued by miss fortune, but great minds rise above it.” —Washington Irving. Born'April 3, 1783. ii: PARADO At the present time it is not possible to telephone from a submarine, but it is not impossible to tell a phone from a submarine. . The Vandals Are at Work Again Students at Armour are a select group chosen from a large field of applicants. They have been selected not only because they have, through scholastic standings, given considerable evidence of possessing intelligence but also because they have given the impression of hav- ing good character. The Institute has always made the effort to makel sure that each accepted man should measure up to the high standard set when the school was founded. By signing the enrollment card the men them- selves say that the administration was not in error when ‘ selecting them, for they agree “to obey—the unwritten rules of courtesy, manliness, and honor.” And now, in spite of this appeal to honor and in spite of bringing the matter to everyone’s attention last year, the library again reports loss and mutilation of books. Repeatedly the attendants find book and magazine pages torn and in some cases marked with disgraceful insina» tions or suggestions. Again and again the librarians are asked for books, which they cannot supply because some vandal has walked off with them or has taken the volume svithout charging it. That books should appear mutilated and torn and should turn up missing in a school where high moral character is required is a difficult situation to explain and a hard one to cope with. Perhaps youth is becoming; modern, in the ugly sense of the word, for previous to two years ago loss and destruction of books was neglig- ible. However, it is more likely that vandalism is practiced only by a small minority. A minority comprised of bc—l ings who have no regard, because of their neglect andl carelessness, for the rights of others or for the time, money, and effort spent in maintaining the library. They call themselves men, these vandals; but they’re not. They ‘ prompting them to be unmanly. l E. w. c. l are more like counterfeit coins that pass on their fel- low’s gold basis but are rotten in core, their rottenness “Have a smoke?” “Nope, quit smoking.” “Sworn off?” “Nope, quit entirely." u. o More Statistics There are 32,000,000 connected telephones in this and other countries. If you spent 24 hours per day, making; three minute calls it would take you 61 years, accord~ ing to telephone engineers. , . Any person interested in the posiiiion please see Part time and summer workers please do not call. us. I llx 7‘; 3h What ho! They found out (long ago) that electri— city and lightning are one and the same thing. But it has been said that you don’t have to pay for lightning. .k .1. is An: quit loolcin’. Your name din/f, here!!! iii :2 a SAX JOKE NO. 546,673 “Yeh, he paid $400 for a new saxophone.” Gee that’s a lotta money to blow in." ——Min. :1: 7k ll'r'll. well. I/u' .mgn/l'xlimv hm hm: oflcrvri that war— Iicnx fcr'd rrm‘l (ti/rm H7 llirir /71’t.§‘(lll(’l'5 in Icon/I {1mm from Invoking on]. )I‘ a: 9.: Come on, you seniors!!! Where is your pride, your self-respect? Where is your class spirit? Why do you allow a bunch of plebeian froth and a handful of no- accounl sophomores to occupy your specially reserved tables in the Tech cafeteria? You ought to be ashamed. DO SOMETHING!!! n 4. ON A DHET? “Where you gonna eat?” “Let’s eat up the street?” “Aw navv, I don’t like asphalt.” :2 iii a. all That was some slugfest up in the gym last Friday. You certainly missed something if you weren’t there. —--’!‘he Bongineei‘. “I left my hydro homework, two reports due today, that, and the other textbook for this, that, and the other course, we find that American ciizens spend an average \, 1 l l PARIS lJNivusn'i l WAS FOUNDED IN ' MOBADJ‘WENTY VRS- bEFORE ~ OKFORJ) A TREE m svmannmomw Vistas HALF sour ouANoes mm HALF swam oamoas M" on LEA VE ii" By AL GOODMAN, ’34 .xAn/dx-e NA: w‘C‘il‘i‘dh‘iifik“ it ~ ggxg W mflffi “3' ’1’ El ‘ names or Dona/zen ermine”, SPAN , JAPAN, AND INDIA. ARK NEWS or was a / I .1 (5/3,“ ‘4’" . «Wish/i 1.7“ W ,7; , l' WW mnmuc. mm is LAKbER THAN THE WMBWED fildkifid‘s \lL THERE ARE OVER 03,000 svmoots in ms cumsss ALPHAEET.AND _, EVERY WORD ENDS WITH *’ A VOWEL- \. TOADBAW 39‘] Ill. . Goon/«mu 5y BUNKHOUSE NiGl—lTS By Henry I... Gibson A hurtles through the wreaths of heavy in the the impact, a bubbling mass shoots a spurt, a glistening missile smoke curling rocking air; I iglow. More spurts, more sizzles—the l pufl’ of sizzling steam into the ruddy siege is on. Troy withstood the intern mittunt onslaughts of the Hellens for i ten years, and made. history, but thcl rusty little old stove in the bunkhuose has held up for twenty years under the mighty barrage of tobaccoduicc poured upon it by the lumber-jacks of Ladder Lake, and has received no recognition in the world of men. Just taken as a matter of course by the attackers vet passively radiatv ing vital warmth about them, the buckled red-hot plates and bay-wire doors have been like the essence of comfort to the sub—zeroed woodsmen as well as the target of each careful— ly premeditated stream of nicotine. With every whifl‘ of steam that jumps from its glowing sides to flavor the already rank atmosphere of the bunkhouse, the place grows more like home to the motley crowd chewing smoking and talking here after a day in the frozen mus: keg. The hard work is forgotten; no matter that they will have to turn out before dawn to-morrow, or that the top 01' the mercury is stepping point by point down the scale of the thermometer like someone crawling down a ladder, tonight, for an hour before getting under the blankets, they circle the radiated warmth of the fire in irregular rows of ruggeo contentment. The front rank is of necessity given over to the chewers. They sit, almost motionless, upon empty pails, boxes. or rolled-up mackinaws. An occasional change of quid from one whiskery cheek to the other fore- warns of another broadside directed at the red-hot stove; their deadly aim is not in the least impaired by the dinmess of the yellow light of the sooty lantern, for years of prac— tice have made them expel Apart from this activity and an occasional reload with chewin’ or Copenhagen, usually accompanied by a dry com- ment or two, the chewers are a quiescent and thoughtful clan. Behind them. sprawling on the edge of the bunks or squatting on boxes, are the smokers. These are the talkers of the bunch. Not need» ing to use either their minds or their jaws in pleasant rumination, they are able to use them for the diversion of their mates and them- or selves. While one rolls himself a cigarette—for they all roll their own here, indeed a man rash enough to light up a tailor-made would be one of that certain class of people which steps in where angels fear to tread-— the other carries on the conversa- tion, so that an undertone of voices is characteristic of the scene. No high faluting their talk; rather it is toned with the hearty expressions used by men who of restraining their speech to meet the phrases color never have had the misfortune conventions of the "‘clitc” society. The charms of certain ladies of their summer-time acquaintance are dis- cussed, with a frankness that would make the ears of those young women burn mighty red, were it not for the fact that they too cannot be bothered with the finer details of society’s rulings. Or the potency of Long Jacques’ home-brew is discussed, with an appreciation that would make the government agent in the beer-store green with jealousy, were it not for the fact that he too we fcrs Jacques’ stufl‘. And the tight- ness of lumber kings who won't pay a man a better rate on ties, is often discussed, with an aversion that would make that gentry purple with apoplexy, were it not for the fact that lumber barons cannot aiford to be apoplectic anyway. Perhaps, the inclcniency of the fifty-below-in—the- shade weather is cussed, with a fer- vour that would make Jupiter Pluvius pink with rage, were it not for the fact that this gentleman has listened to complaints regarding his service ever since the dawning of mankind. Thus goes the list of colorful topics, arranged in order of predominance, that usually flavors the talk around the bunkhouse stove. Men whose experiences and op- portunities are limited by hard and steady logging in the Saskatchewan muskegs during the winter. or by just as hard work on the wheat farms in the summer, with only an odd fort- night’s spree in the city now and then, are not prone to discuss, say, interstellar regeneration, or Lord Algy’s Recuperations, or somebody else’s latest ode to a cauliflower. But do not get the idea that their’s is a dull uncultured existence. There are two occasions at least when the bunkhouse is animated with lively native wit. and local talent. One is the advent of a tyro—less elegantly but more oxpressively: when a green~ horn hits camp; the other when the effects of Long .laoques' fire-water are at their height. What happens “witch o gi'ecnhoriz And another project is finished. Af— ter a struggling week-end, a hectic night on Monday in which many of the seniors and their “triggers" didn‘t hit the pillow until those wee small hours, Tuesday noon rolled around and they were done! And just as suddenly as they began those soon- to-bc-graduates grabbed the first ex- press homeward to a nice warm com- fortable bed and slumber. (Much needed, too.) The reason for the excessive com- motion was the fact that this was a competition for the Fountainhleau Scholarship and bones are strong. The plates, a fine looking bunch, were all sent to New York to be judged. Sixteen of the problems took the coveted trip to the country’s biggest port and that is a high percentage. Good luck to you, Seniors. .1: m 15: Who’s going to be our next Mayor? There are murmurs floating around saying that the efficiency of the Don- key Engine in the laboratory experi— ment is much greater than that of the Mammoth one. 9h YA Ii: Four of the architects, sophomores to be a little more explicit, have hopes of earning a berth on the baseball team this spring. We’ve had represen— tation in nearly everything, so it’s up to you boys to keep up the good Work. (Hint. Davie Bush needs a few bench warmers, as Howie and Big Moose do all the work, now.) Note: For the benefit of the lay- man a “nigger" is one who helps an- other, a, return engagement promised. on a project. The “nigger” inks, draws lines, and does any minor de— tails that are necessary. [Senior Civil Class Ably Characterized Smoke and hot air, always an in- separable combination, characterize one well known class—namely: Sen- 101's. There are some classes, some sub- jects, and even some particular hours which jar upon the complacent senior and bring him down to earth from his lofty, if not insecure pin- nacle but Seminar is to the senior civils what the rope is to a drowning man, what a reprieve is to the lifer, or what a blindfold test is to Old Golds. Lest there be a misunderstanding. Seminar holds its exalted position by virtue of two important factors which probably also account for the popularity of such subjects as Gene~ ral Literature and Dr. Scherger’s his— tory lectures, first, the subject does not call for strenuous mental gym- nastics, a form of exercise which is highly recommended but not gener— ally favored, and second: Seminar does not call for a heavy expenditure of time which might well he spent in such pursuits as gazing at the moon- light or pursuing the pill over a mini» ature golf course. There is, of c‘oursE‘, a catch in this, just as there always is when the man at the door offers you something for nothing, and this catch lies in that only civils can enroll in this panacea for all scholastic ills. This is only nat» ural because, as we neglected to say when we began this discussion of a Seminar, the course consists of a free for all discussion of the latest litsro~ ture on Civil Engineering. Junior Fire Protects Have informal Party Enmas., the Junior Fire Protects turned out for a most informal satin ering at the Delta Tau Delta House but Friday, March ‘26. The Junior Firecs felt that they would like to know each other in en- vironments that do not have the school flavor. (No ofiense meant.) Therefore. being good students and energetic gentlemen of good faith. they mode plans and they carried them out. Cigois and cigarettes uished by someone and played cards (bridge). listened to radio (there is one), and boiled. were furs ever)‘ on e the A road houss near the Uni‘ - ‘* hits camp" will 1m told in the (VHF‘ {function of this story in the next is~i our of the Armour chh News. of Color-ado has arraISSEé for . dents to ride in taxis free of charge «.to dances there.