Page Two ARMOUR TECH NEWS Tuesday, March 17, 1931 a new “tests Weeds Student Publication of the ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY CHICAGO, ILLINOIS Published Weekly During the College Year d3 htfifilflifil AMM IA’I'MDW r“ cnnmtu ‘3 u)» m EWRIILEGE NEWSWAIWEIH SBBSCRXE’TEON RATES $2.00 Per Year Single Copies, 10 Cents Each MANAGHNG BOARD Editor—in—Chief ................. Wilbur H. Rudolf, Managing Editor . . . .Max J. Schinke, ’32 ’32 News Editor ....... .Edward W. Carlton, ’32 Business Manager. ........ James J. Casey, ’32 Faculty Adviser ........... Professor Walter Hendricks ADVISORY BOARD Advisory Editor .................. Fred B. Attwood, ’31 Alvin B. Auerbach, ’31 Advisory Associates .......... Arthur H. Jens, :31 Frank W. Spalding. ’31 _____,______.____.—..-___.__.__.__.. EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT Feature Editor ................... John R. Jackson, '32 Fraternity Assistant ........... Harold Bodinson, ’33 Architectural Assistant ............ W. W. Davies, ’33 Art Assistant ........... .Dave Chapman, ’32 Reviews. . . . ........... Morton Fagen, ’32 Columnis .................... Philip Jordan, ’31 Associate Columnist. .George Bonvallet, ’32 Assistant News Editor ........... Orville T. Barnett, '33 SPORTS DEPARTMENT Sports Editor ....................... H. P. Richter, ’32 Associate Editor .................. C. stcmpkowski, ’33 Reporters E. G. Avery, ’34 N. E. Colburn, ’34 H. L. Gibson, ’34 W. Krol, ’34 D. F. Landwer, ’34 J. P. McGuan, ’34 V. Rimsha, ’34 J. A. Scheyer, ’34 R. G. Kellner, ’31 J. B. Dirkers, '32 F. A. Ustryski, '32 I... G. Wilkic, '32 A. Weston, ’32 J. W. Juvinall, ’33 S. T. Leavitt, ’33 R. J. Mulroney, '33 H. F. Rychlik, ’33 BUSINESS DEPARTMENT Advertising Managers. M. A. Collick, ’32——H. Monger, ’33 Assistants W. L. Bengston ’32 E Nelson 33 J. S. McCall '32 Circulation Manager ................. Assistants J. A. Bacci, ’34. J. F. Bonnell, ’34. T. C. Peavey, ’34 E. H. Clinic, ’32 R. Duisur,|’33 C. B. Summers, ’33 Vol. VII MARCH 17, 1931 ”Honor lies in honest toil." Grover Cleveland. Born March 18, 1837. Dr. Cunsoulus Tuesday, March 17, 1931, marks the tenth annivers- ary of the death of Dr. Frank Wakely Gunsaulus, first president of Armour Institute of Technology, leader in civic enterprise, educator, lecturer, minister, and Christian in the fullest sense of the word. Dr. Gun— saulus succumbed to a heart attack just ten years ago today, and with his passing Chicago lost one of its finest citizens, and Armour one of its most loyal sup— porters. . Although there is no doubt that every Armour stu— dent is at least somewhat acquainted with the life and characteristics of Dr. Gunsaulus, it is entirely ap— propriate that we show our respect for him by renew— ing, briefly, the major points of his long career of useful and effective endeavor. Dr. Gunsaulus was born at Chesterville, Ohio, on January 1, 1856. He was educated in the same state, graduating from Ohio Wesleyan University. After graduation he was pastor at various times of several Methodist and Congregational churches in Ohio and the eastern states. In 1887 Dr. Gunsaulus accepted the pastorate of the Plymouth Congregational church in Chicago. While holding this office, he delivered the sermon which was to bring about the establishment of Armour Institute. Philip D. Armour, wealthy packer and philanthropist, heard the sermon given that day by Dr. Gunsaulus. He was so moved by the statements in the sermon regarding the obligations of the rich toward the poor, that he offered to finance the founding of a school of technology provided that the pastor would give his time and efforts to the institution. Dr. Gunsaulus proved his sincerity by accepting the offer and became the first president of Armour In— stitute of Technology, which was opened in 1892. The sudden death of Dr. Gunsaulus on March 17, 1921, was a hard blow to his many friends and ac— quaintances. His funeral was held two days later from the New England Congregational church in Chicago. Dr. Gunsau‘lus left a heritage to the school in the record of unimpeachabie honor and unswerving loyv alty to duty which his life shows, and which are a real inspiration to all who know of them. All who knew him loved and respected him for just what he was—a sincere man of the church, who not only be— lieved the principle of Christianity, but applied them to his everyday life. w_ H. R. >vv‘o’v‘vv‘vvvkuwvvvv v‘v t .. ' Myth g . 9 it” 4 5 Q tphfiii‘: , § Cleave to “The Slipstick”; lei > the Slapstick Hy where it may. :i > A A A A. A. A ADICS . I now take upon myself the painful duty of writing my last column. It has served as an inspiration (espe- cially the contributions) and no end of enjoyment to myself and I feel jealous of the new columnist, who is, by the way, the well-known Bongineer, and whose real moniker is George L. Bonvallet, E. E., ’32. May luck be with him. ’ I also want to take this opportunity to thank all who have sent in contributions and stale jokes. It makes one feel good to know he is being appreciated. We wish to introduce the following, who have helped in the last year, to our readers: The Bongiueer (George L. Bonvallet), Jaesmackse (James s. McCall), O. R. S. (O. R. Steinert), F. E. D. (D. E. Freer), R. E. M. (not an ad) (R. E. Meagher), D. B. C. (D. B. Cunningham), Sliv (H. Hoebel), Al (A. B. Auerbach), Dutch (W. A. H), K. (C. H. Miller), and M. B. (M. Berger). The following have deemed it best to keep their identities secret, but, nevertheless, we thank them: the Co-ed, Another Co—ed, H. 0., Ted ’34, Monsieur Pthalic Acid, Pop, Won W0, Step Ben, J. A. L., Pied Typei‘ and A. Plotzen Zolsta. If I have omitted any- one I am sorry, but thanx anyway. The rest of the column will be devoted to a resume of the best jokes appearing in the column during the past year. ——Phil J. n An Englishman was visiting this country for the first time, and as he was driving along the highway, he saw a sign, “Drive Slow. This Means You!" He stopped in surprise and exclaimed: “My word! How did they know I was here?" . a . A a WILL WLL Wouldn’t it be funny it there were no vowels? Ths shws wht th nglsh lngg wld b wtht thm. n- all It “I hear that you fainted at the party last night and they brought you to?" “Yes, and then I fainted again." “Good gracious! And then what happened?” “They brought me two more." ill lit at MORAL—NONE A dog was carrying a piece of meat across a bridge. As he crossed the stream he saw the image of another piece of meat in the water. He laid the piece he was carrying carefully down on the bridge and jumped in. In a moment he appeared with the other piece, climbed onto the bridge, and walked off with both pieces. -——R.. 53. F. a Father: “I want you to be a girl that people will look it a: up to.” Her: “I‘d rather be one that they look around at." or ill :1! Abe: “Do you play gollut‘ wit knickers?” Levi: “No, wit white people.” Ill it 2‘! The Lust Laugh He was a very young officer who looked as if he should be wearing knee breaches. One day when his company was up for inspection at the training camp, one of the men remarked in a tone of deep sarcasm: “And a little child shall lead them.” “The man who said that will step forward,” was the immediate command. The entire company stepped out and repeated the quotation. The lieutenant looked up and down the line. “Dismissed,” he announced shortly. The men thought they had the better of him, but not for long, for that night at retreat, when the orders for the following day were given, they heard: “There will be a twenty-five mile hike tomorrow with full equipment, and a little child shall lead them—on a darn good horse." ——A1 at a N0 TRESPASSENG ALLOWED One of the wings of the plane had broken and its pilot, after crashing through a mass of planking and plaster, found himself resting on a concrete surface in utter darkness. “Where am I?” he asked feebly. “You’re in my cellar," came an ominous voice out of the blackness, “but I’m watching you.” — 1 ' a! It 1% Different Host: “There are my grandmother’s ashes, there in the corner.” Guest: “Oh, so the poor old soul has passed on?" Host: “Oh, no. She’s just too lazy to look for an ash tray.” :3 iii ’11 Column Conductor: “Did you write these jokes your- self?" Contributor: “Every one of them." Col. Con: “Then you must be lots older than you look." I; a * Yeah? @i: Course An old German and his wife were given to quarrel- ing. One day, after a particularly unpleasant scene, the old woman remarked with a sigh: s4 a. m “Vell, I vish I vas in Heaven.” “I vish I vas in the beer garten,” groaned the hus- band. “Ach, yah," cried the old wife, “always you pick out the best for yourself.” Goodbye. gang, and the best of luck to you, Ban, Philip Jordan ‘ vii ' Led Me.” l ram 1r on Leave fl“ By AL GOODMAN, ’34 . ,, / . r' m g, {m I I ’ ‘I' {’0 n ' AN lieutenant. 'WCAVELeo A mance or lttb Mus, m IN THE LAST [0 YES. ; his _ g / . meoocu mus. mum: cmes lNcLUDmG Wasumcrow, bums m A cost as 33¢ -“ a :”3;%:. {fa/t» ply, AR BUCHANAN THE smut 0? U BERIA l5 _-_~ M9$QVT:M WAS Tue ONLV PRES‘ IDENT wuo NEVER MARMED 5% l f ,9 THE ONLY coumav m we ’ ”V will.» m wmcu CAUCASMNS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO VOTE Nair: This is the first a] a .rri'irs of .vlerlrhrr of this nature to be published by {hr Armour Tech News. in [11.15 rectum. The author is prepared to give [woof of any statement: Professor Westgrcn Addresses Chemicals Professor Arne Fredrik Westgren will present an interesting lecture on “Crystal Structure of Ordinary and Alloyed Steels" before the reg— !ular gathering of the American Chemical Society at the City Club of Chicago, 315 Plymouth Court, next Friday, March 20, at 7:30 P. M. Metallurgist Westgren is Profes— sor of Chemistry at the University of Stockholm, has studied the ’Brownian movement and through . study of the study of the sediment- :ation equilibrium in gold colloids has made determinations of the Avogadro number. His interest, however, has been turned into the field of metallurgy proper, partly through his position as metallographer to the s. K. F. Ballbearlng Company. Along these lines he has done notable work dealing with the crystal structure of iron and alloys. He will speak on his wide experience in this branch of metallurgy on Friday. The usual group meetings on Friday night offer: “Manufacture of Nitrocellulose,” illustrated with motion pictures and conducted by H. D. Bledsoe, Brevolite Lacquer Company, for the Inorganic and Analytical section, and E. P. Gila lan of the Chicago Starch Com- pany, will explain to the Education group “Where Corn Products Have Get ll/lillion Letters in. Elgarette Contest More than one million letters were received in answer to the re- cent one week’s national newspaper advertising campaign announcing prizes in connection with the new cellophane wrapping for Camel cigarettes, according to announce- ment by R. J. Reynolds Tobacco Company. So great was the response that the officials estimated that it would take the judges and their staff sev- eral weeks to read all of the en- tries and select winners of the thirty—eight prizes offered. It has been stated that news- papers were used exclusively in ad- vertising the contest, and that entries were received by every con- ceivable means of transmission, in almost every language, in tiny packages and in large express L Am News Thursday, at 3:45, the sopho— mores, juniors and seniors held a meeting in the club room of the Art Institute. The purpose of the meeting was to inform the fellows about space in the Cycle for the Architectural Society, and also to get material and information re~ garding the freshman initiation. Definite arrangements will be made in the next few days. Dave Chap— man, junior massier, presided. areal An architect’s life at the Art Institute is not one filled with ex— citement. Even a. mere pigeon can cause a commotion. Last Thursday morning all was peaceful and serene in the sophomore room. The diligent architects were earnestly at work when a harmless pigeon entered through an open window and disturbed a student who was busily rendering. The architects quickly gathered beneath the unlucky bird and sug— gestions to get him out were quickly voiced. By this time the pigeon seemed exasperated, so he politely settled down upon the chords that run between the trusses and lightly, ever so lightly, flew out the window. And the architects. seeing their faint ray of hope for a few minutes rest period winging its way over the roofs, gloomily settled down to their task of de— signing a theatre. Ah, me! And he was such a little pigeon to raise such a big commotion. in 1km Last year there were more college students in the United States than in all the rest of the world com— bined. There were 1,237,000 stu- dents enrolled in colleges and uni- versities in this country. «was The last forest service game cen— sus disclosed that 17,400 bears of the 50,000 black and brown bears in the United States forest are in California. It >}= s: Arabia is more than 10 times the size of England, Scotland, northern Ireland, and Wales. assumes a loan packages, and on thousands of dif- ferent kinds of paper. " sues mascara. £23.31: ‘ Vans. Ssmsx‘ Ar- Zielenske Tells About Hazards of Crude Uzi} As a fitting climax to last week's inspection trip to the Standard Oil Company, Mr. Walter F. Zielenske described the oil industry to the Fire Protects at their meeting Fri— day, March 13. Mr. Zielenske started with the demand for petroleum, telling of the present over-supply, although a few years ago, government control was considered the only means of keeping the world supplied with the now indispensable material. According to Mr. Zielenske, there is no need to sink wells inside the city limits, as was recently done at Oklahoma City, and so endanger the property. and even lives, of a number of citizens, for the supply exceeds the demand. The crude oil is devastating to the surrounding landscape, because it gets all over the trees for a con— siderable area. around the wells and slowly burns them up. The companies suffer great losses from evaporation; not only at the wells is it a problem, but also at the refineries. Attempts, as yet unsuc- cessful, have been made to cover the pits in which the crude oil is kept, with welded cast iron roofs, wood roofs, and net roofs. At the refineries, the problem is solved somewhat by allowing the storage tanks to "breath" into huge canvas bags held in square sheet iron houses. After the oil has been sent through pipes, which are welded together, from the field to the re- finery, it is distilled, cracked, etc., and then distributed. The greatest precautions are ob served in order to keep from start— ing a fire. At the refineries, no one is allowed to enter the plant carry- ing matches, all electrical switches are closed or are outside the build- ing. The lights are protected by vapor proof globes. No fires are allowed to be built nor any welding to be done without being directly supervised by a foreman. Here, Mr. Zielenske was forced by the lack of time to close, although he had not nearly ex- hausted his subject and regretted that he did not have time to tell more. fltcchanicais Witness Movies About “Steam ” Three reels of motion. pictures, entitled “steam,” were shown to the members of the A. S. M. E. at their regular meeting last Friday, March 13, in the Electric Lecture Room. The pictures were explained by Mr. Ripley of the Babcock and Wilcox Company. Cross section drawings of steam boilers were first presented, the paths of air, hot water, steam, and hot gases being pointed out. The manufacture of the indi— vidual part of a modern boiler was then depicted. It was shown how two inch plates were bent in circu— lar shape and riveted together in the construction of the cylindrical part of the drum, and how the ends were forged out of iron and at— tached to the circular plates. The motion pictures were fol- lowed by slides, showing first sev- eral different types of boilers, and then explaining the manufacture of high pressure seamless drums. It requires four days to heat the huge blocks of iron to the forging temperature. Then under terrific pressures, the iron is gradually shaped into the proper form. the entire operation requiring nine to ten weeks. Ralph’s Barber Shop 117 E. 3525 Street Prompt, Courteous Service no WAi'i‘i‘No WANTED TU EUY United States Postage and Revenue Stamps Used anifirged in Any 3. if. muss Tel. Fairfax 931C