Page Two dullness tests items Student Publication of the ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY CHICAGO, ILLINOIS Published Weekly During the College Year SUBSCRIPTHON RATES $2.00 Per Year Single Copies, 10 Cents Each MANAGING BOARD Editor—in~Chief .................... Fred Attwood, ’31 _ , (Arthur Jens, 31 Managing Editors ................ 1 Alvin Auerbach, 31 Business Manager ................ Frank Spalding, '31 Faculty Advisor .......... Professor Walter Hendricks NEWS DEPARTMENT News Editor ........................ W. H. Rudolf, ‘32 Assistant ................. .. . .0. Barnett, ’33 Copy Editor ........................ E. W. Carlton, ’32 Departmental Editors Fraternity .......................... J. R, Jackson, ’32 Architectural ...................... E. C. Kubicek, '32 Reporters J. B. Dirkers, ’32 M. Winogrand, ’33 R. G. Kellner, ’31 J. W. Juvinall, ’33 I. Krawitz, ’33 T. Leavitt, ’33 SPORTS DEPARTMENT Sports Editor (Acting..) ............. Arthur Jens, ’31 Assistant Sports Editor .............. H. P. Richter, ’32 Assistants C. Stempkowskl, ’32 R. F. Rychlik, ’33 FEATURE DEPARTMENT Feature Editor ................... P. E. Seidelman, ’31 Assistant ............... ...E J. Wiltrakis, ’32 Columnist ............ ...Philip Jordan, ’31 Cartoonist ...... Dave Chapman, ’32 Feature Writer ........... C. Blahna, '31 Staff Photographer ................. O. R. Murphy, '31 MAKE-UP DEPARTMENT Make—Up Editor .................... M. J. Schinke, ’32 Assistants G. L. Bonvallet, ’32 F. F. Strassenburg, ’31 BUSINESS DEPARTMENT . New E. A. Scanlon, '32 Advertising Managers ------------ {,1 J, Casey, ’32 Assistants M. A. Coliick, ’32 R. Tufts, ’32 C. R. Marsh, ’33 Circulation Manager .................. A. F. Wilde, ’31 Mailing Circulation Manager ......... J. S. McCall, ’32 Assistants R. Duiour, ’33 C. B. Summers, ’33 E. H. Chun, ’32 H. Bodinson, ’33 A. Jungels, '32 S. Anderson, ’32 P. Kesselring, ’31 H. Pilgrim, ’31 Vol. VI OCTOBER '7, 1930 No. 3 ELECTIONS A new plan for conducting the school elections has been advanced; we feel that it is a great step forward and worthy of elaboration in this column. Under the new plan, the elections in all classes are to be held under the supervision of a committee consisting of two members of the preceding group of class officers of each year. These men are striving to run the elec— tions in an orderly fashion, and to insure the possi- bility of electing the best men possible. This last phase of the election is by far the most important; for if the best men are not put in office, the class and the school suffer from the effects. The immediate result of the election of a man who is known to be incompetent for the position is to lower the morale of the class, for if they see that they are to be led by men obviously unfit, they can take no active interest in their class activities. In some cases in the past, groups of men anxious to put their candidate in the chair, have agreed to give another office to a candidate of another faction in return for their alliance. This has resulted in the placement of incompetent men in positions that call for experience and business acumen. As a result of this trading of votes, class affairs have suffered, both in the type of handling and financially. We feel sure that with this new system, and with the adoption of the petition plan of nomination, the election will become a case where the best man will win, and the many tricks of the allied groups, such as nomination of multiple candidates among the oppo— sition will prove of no avail. While we may have had a past record with a few blemishes, the future looms brighter than ever. A. B. A. RUSHHVG Needless to say, the rushing period to the social fraternities on campus is now in full swing, and we suspect that many a freshman is walking about in sort of a glorified daze, trying to find solid earth beneath the multitude of attention he has been re— ceiving. We feel that to those men who are going “Frater- nity,” it is only proper to repeat the words of Dean Palmer, who has given the same advice for time im— memorial. His advice, though it may have varied in its phrasing, has been to choose the group you are to take solely by the men in that group. While ratings and achievements do seem to influence some, the re~ lations between the men in a fraternity are so close that the lack of congeniality will make any such asso» ciation futile. As far as we know, there is no house on campus that does not exhibit this great asset of Congeniality, but each man will no doubt find one ride in tramc." set that appeals to him, and that is where he belongs. A. B. A. ARMOUR TECH NEWS anrv v vwv vvvwvvvv . “Wee filipsiielt” Cleave to "The Slipsiiclc”; lei 4 iho Slapstick flywhere it may. A YV AA. AAAMA A. Arum In:é a Professor William White Colbert (A Biographical Sketch) BY CHARLES ELAHNA, ’31 William White Culvert. associate professor of physics, was born on July‘ 16, 1896, at Alexandria, Tenn. 6 r. WHA T MITE BE 5 WEETER 1‘ know a girl named Mollie; They’re generally large, as a rule, But she is. as small as an atom; Her name is Molecule. ~M. C. H. a m x; “Any one can learn to dance,” says Dollar Bill. “The simple method is to offer to put up another shelf in the pantry, and bang your thumb with the hammer." I? til it Prescriptions A Specialty The Doctor: “And it he loses consciousness again, give him a teaspoon of that brandy." The Patient’s Wife: “While he’s unconscious? Oh, doctor, he’d never forgive me." ’ Bk =3 Dear Phil J. When I received the assignment to write something humorous I suddenly realized why it is that so many columnists and cartoonists go violently insane. (This is proved by statistics in the Saturday Evening Post and the Musical Quarterly.) I tried all the known methods of producing a humorous paragraph, even going so far as to tickle my funny-bone with an extra long goose feather—and a bright orange one at that ~but it was of no avail. Consequently I submit this paragraph as a substitute, hoping thereby to get a passing mark in English. Yours regretfully, Amack Truck. Iii ‘1 Iii St. Peter: “Who’s there?” Voice Without: “It is I." St. Peter: “Get out of here. We don’t want any more school teachers." .~ * a The Unholy Two Count A’Plotzen Zolsta tells us the one about the Scotchman and the Hebrew (No, these are two differ- ent ones) who had just finished a sumptuous meal when the waiter appeared with the check. “Which of you gentlemen will take this check?" said the waiter. “Hoot Mon, I‘ll pay for—r-rit,” replied the Scotchmari. Headline in following day's newspaper: “Jewish ven~ triloquist found murdered." rl= >1: 1i! ‘ Polygamy would never work in this country. Think of six wives in a kitchenette. :. >1: it! “Is he excitable?” "I'll say so! He broke a blood vessel playing sollL taire." :3 a. i True Emotion Himbuk: “What have you been doing, Henry? hands are black as coal.” Henry Peck: "I was at the station seeing my mother— in—law off home after her visit.” Him: “But your hands?" Hen: “I know. I patted the engine." Dollar Bill. Your meet Anyone who likes to play slot machines ought to visit the Englewood Pharmacy. They say that the telephone there pays a nickle to a quarter after every ten calls. # ti 31 Kolum Konductor: “Did you write these jokes your~ self?” Kontributor: “Every one of them.” K. K: “Then you must be lots older than you look." Ill 13 Well, some of the seniors won’t be surprised if they graduate; they’ve expected it for the last three years. 2: 9; fl “It’s the little things in life that tell,” said the co—ed as she yanked her little brother from under the sofa. (REM (Not an ad.) r: it WI Kid (pointing to dish of vanilla and chocolate cookies): “Mamma, can I have a cookie?” Mamma: “Why yes, what kind do you want?" Kid: “I want some of the white ones. I don't like the dirty ones.” wO. R. S. can FAMOUS PRONOUNS IN HISTORY I—Mussolini. Wei—Lindbergh. Us—Siamese Twins. It—«Clara Bow. 0 o ’1‘ “How’s the duck today?" growled the restaurant patron. ' "Oh, I'm all right,” said the waitress, perkily, “and how’s the old pelican?” IE 0 A college student surprised the professor when asked to discuss Einstein. He started to talk about one glass of beer. «D. B. C. d! #3 0 “Do you want a flat saddle, or one with a horn?” the riding master asked the sweet young thing. “We won’t need a horn,” she answered. “We won’t a I! I7 Goodbye horsehide, hello pigskin. I J ‘ grammar and high schools at Alexandria and Nash— ville, Tenn. From these local schools he went to Cumberland University, located at Lebanon, Tenn, where he received his AB. degree in 1917 and his MA. in 1919. Professor Calvert began his teaching career during the last half of his senior year at college. For two years he taught at the Cumberland University prepara— tory school. The following two years were spent in teaching fresh— man mathematics at the univer« sity and in the fall of 1920 he came to Armour as an instructor in physics. Besides physics he enjoys more physics and spends the greatest part of his time doing research work at the University of Chicago. Whenever time will permit, he also does experimental work as it comes to the Institute. On January 31 of this year Pro— fessor Culvert married Miss Lilla L. Bannen of Spokane, Wash. When asked for the date of his marriage he hesitated somewhat but blamed that on the fact that he knew it was the last day of January but had to stop and think whether January had thirty or thirty—one days. It's a good excuse and at any rate it doesn’t seem possible to forget so soon, therefore, we'll have to accept it. Professor Culvert is a member of Sigma Psi fraternity, The Ameri— (C’ontinucd on Page 5‘) [new we SIGMA KAPPA DELTA The rushing program of Sigma Kappa Delta fraternity was marked last week by a theatre party on Friday night, a dance at its chapter house Saturday night and a tour of the city on Sunday afternoon. Barton 1-1. Rofiee, E. E., ’30, was seen at the Handshake on Wednesday. It’s queer how these graduates mistake even seniors for freshmen. Sigma Epsilon Chapter of Sigma Alpha Mu wishes to announce the initiation of Herbert Kreisman, ’34. Membership ranks have been re— duced by two. Saul Weinberg has gone to the University of Illinois and Dan Michel has left to attend the University of Pennsylvania. Because of the resignation of men who were leaving for other schools, Sol Edelman, Assistant Exchequer, was elected exchequer, and Sidney Morris, assistant re-- corder, was elected recorder. Or— ville T. Barnett was elected Social Chairman. ' A smoker was held at the Chel- sea Hotel last Friday, October 3rd, at which a large number of Alumni iraters were present, including men from Illinois and Purdue. The Chapter House has been moved from 3299 Michigan Ave. to 3328 Michigan Ave. DELTA TAU DELTA Gamma Beta Chapter of Delta Tau Delta announces the pledging of George Gebhardt, ’33. The Annual Rushing Dance will be held at the house on Wednes— day, October 9. Tuesday, October 7, 1930 TRKANGLE Triangle announces the installa— tion of Phi Kappa Phi of South Dakota State School of Mines as the South Dakota Mines Chapter of Triangle, Installation took place Saturday, September 27. Armour Chapter of Triangle an— nounces the pledging of Roy 2". Young, ’32, F. P. E. The program for Rush Week con— sists of a trip through Chinatown, a Treasure Hunt, at Theatre Party, a Rushes Dance; the Chicago Foot- ball game, a Stag Banquet, Study , Help, and a Radio Dance. hill PI PM! On Saturday night Gamma Chapter of Phi Pi Phi held their annual Rushee Dance. Music was furnished by Ted Brown and his Melody Kings. KAPPA DELTA TAU The chapter takes pleasure in welcoming back a former member, Morris Wise, to the Institute. BETA PSI A dance was given last Saturday night, October 4, for which a par— ticularly fine orchestra had been engaged and a novel program ar— ranged, making the affair delight- ful. A number of alumni were present and the same group is ex- pected to attend a smoker to be given tomorrow night. For the past two weeks Coach Krafi‘t’s small son, Howard, who is 5 years of age, has been in the hos- pital sufiering from bronchial pneumonia. However, latest re— ports have it that he is improving steadily. QEEWWI MW. “re a mountain rennin A Research, finding answers to the eternal x = P, keeps step in the Bell System with the new industrial viewpoint. The joy in working out studies in de- velopment is shared by many. Results are reached by group effort. gether, the mature engineer and his younger assistants, each contributes to the final solution of the problem. attack. Striving to— group attack on the “it“ oi industry Men of the Bell Telephone Labora- tories are sharing in useful, interesting research. They are getting valuable train- ing in the modern strategy of organization And because that strategy assures them the aid of men and material resources, they are actually turning some of their vision into fact. BELL S‘Yhii‘ihi daNATEON-WEDE SYSTEM OF ESORE THAN 20,000,000 lNTER-CGNNECTENG TBiEPHDNES