Page Two

allowable ”lash tissue
Student Publication of the
ARMOUR llNS'fi‘ll’ll‘UTE OF TECHNOLOGY
CHICAGO, ILLINOKS
Published Weekly During the College Year
SUBSCRIPTION RATES
Single Copies, 10 Cents Each

THE STAFF

MANAGENG BOARD
Editor-in~Chief ..................... Fred Attwood, ’31
Arthur Jens, ‘31
Alvin Auerbach, ’31

$2.00 Per Year

Managing Editors ................ {

Business Manager. ..... James Casey, ’32
Faculty Advisor ........... Professor Walter Hendricks

 

ADVHSORY BOARD
Retiring Editor-in—Chief ........... David T. Smith, ’30
Retiring Business Manager ...... Morris 0. Nelson, ’30

 

NEWS DEPARTMENT
News Editor ......................... W
Departmental Editors
Fraternity .................. ..J. R. Jackson, '32
Architectural ........................ H. P. Richter, ’32
Reporters
T. Leavitt, ’33
W. Winogrand, ’33

. H. Rudolf, ’32

 

J. B. Dirkers, ’32
R. L. Ellis, ’33

 

SPORTS DEPARTMENT
Sports Editor (Acting) ................ Arthur Jens, ’31
Assistants ,
C. Stempkowski, ’32
E. J. Kennedy, ’33

R. Mulroney, '33
A. Weston, '32

 

 
   
 
 

 

FEATURE DEE’ABTMENT
Feature Editor .................... P. E. Seidelman, '31
Columnist. . . ., ..... . .K. A. Knittel, ’30
Inquiring Reporter.. ...... O. Barnett, ’33
Cartoonist ..... .Dave Chapman, ’32
Reviews ........................... S. T. Garflnkle, ’30
MAKE-ll}? DEPARTMENT
Make—Up Editor ..................... M. J. Schinke, ’32

Assistants

B. C. 300%, ’33 J. Taylor, ”32

 

lfllSlNESS DEPARTMENT
Advertising Manager ............... E. A, Scanlan, ’32

Assistants
F. W. Spauldlng, ’31 C. A. Erickson, ‘32
Circulation Manager .................. A. F. Wilde, ’31
I Assistants

R. Dui'our, '33
J. S. McCall, ‘32
C. B. Summers, ’03

H. H. Hamlin, ‘31
J. E. Taylor, ’32
J. W. Juvinall, ’33

 

Vol. V FEBRUARY 25, l930 No. 3

HUMQR

The nature of most men is such that good humor is
appreciated and sought. While there may exist some
with a cynical nature, an average man has a tendency
to read the light, frothy quips of others with a good
deal of relish. Realizing that, the “Slipstick” has been
an integral part of the paper since the first issue.

The column is a decided asset to the paper, and
the success that it has had can be noted by the num-
ber of men in classes with a carefully folded copy of
the News open to page two and immersed in a for—-
midable appearing textbook. Tuesdays seem to show
a decided amount of concentration upon the lesson in
the book, as some professors may have noted.

Although nearly everyone can appreciate the col~
umn and chuckle at the jokes, few realize the amount
of labor entailed in its preparation. Stephen Leacock,
one of the foremost humorists, offers facetiously this
recipe: “It has long been my custom,” he says, “in
preparing an article of a humorous nature to go down
to the cellar and mix up a half gallon of myosis with
a pint of hyperbole. If I want a decidedly literary
flavor, I find it well to put in a half pint of paresis.”

However, the column conductors realize that it is
not an easy matter to furnish a column of good,
enjoyable jokes week after week without a contribut—
ing body. “It never occurs to the readers," says Lee.-
eock, “that making humor is hard, meritorious and
dignified; because the result is light and gay, they
think the process must be."

In a school of the size of Armour there are bound
to be men with the cleverness to write in this vein.
We hear a host of humorous repartee in the class-
rooms, yet the contribution box in the main entrance
is consistently weak and wan from the lack of nour-
ishment. It seems too bad that we cannot have dicta-
phones scattered throughout the school in an effort
to save this great waste of material; we feel that the
department of economics must be grieved at this loss
of energy.

To those who have sent in material and have never
seen it in print, we must explain the policy of the
paper. The column tries not to use anything that
appears to have been taken from any of the copy-—
righted humorous publications, nor anything whose
great antiquity or prevalence would lower the stand~
ard of the “slipstick.” Needless to say, jokes that
tend too much toward the risque are out of considera~
tion. However, there exists enough humor in the
world today of an acceptable nature that this is no
great loss.

We hope that in the future the “Slipstiek” may
more truly represent the humor of Armour. While
there are many who faithfully send in excellent mate—
rial, it would he gratifying to see the competition to
make the column more intense, thus giving more orig~
inallty to it, and at the same time giving the budding
humorists the pleasure of seeing their creations in
print. A. B. A.

:ARMOUR reel-l NEWS

 

3’3? “THE fill/Pfil‘i’fi’ ” .3:

Cleave to “The Slipslick”: lei.
the Slapstick ily where it may.

RENAMEW

It has been called the coast, the beach,
The strand, and off. the lee shore,

But one piece suits on every peach
Have changed it to the SEE shore.

same;

 

 

 

George Washington maintained his good reputation
ecause no prof ever asked him if he understood an
explanation given in class.

ill 4* >1:
introducing Micro Millie

Swede: “Would you marry an idiot for his money?"
Mae: “Oh, Herbert, this is so sudden."

——Micro Mike.
st * #3
What a feeling? After two hours in the lab and with
data that looks too good to be true you find when you
go to calculate you forgot one measurement.
in -2< ..

What About or Horn? Beep—Beep

 

A tourist rushed into the country store: “I wanna
quart of oil, some gas, a couple of spark plugs, a
timer, a five-gallon kerosene can and four pie tins."

“All rightie,” replied the enterprising clerk, "and
you kin assemble 'cr in the back room if you want."

——-Walt.
v. w. a;
Ode to the girl that does the shifting—
The first hundred gears are the hardest.

1‘? vi! 31:
True Patriotism
Criss: “What caused that accident to that flagpole
sitter?”
Cross: "He tried to stand up when they played the

‘Star Spangled Banner.’ ”
a 3i! =0
Tough Kid: “Sure my dad has a big political pull.
They gave him the best cell in the jail.”
—.loc.
It! '12: #1
Sounds Silly
One—“Let me give you a tip."
Two—~“Tlp it.”
One—“Go down to the bakery and stand in front of
the big oven.”
Two—“For why?”
One—“There‘s dough in i ."
m 9; >1:
Musings
Terribly warm today, almost feels like Spring-—
what‘s the use of worlringw. It seems to us that life
is just a big joke and all the people are a flock of
clowns.
Mark this everyone, the period of depression has

MDiC‘k.

 

past. Look forward to prosperity beginning right now.
The wolf at the door lost fifteen pounds since the
crash—more anon, maybe.
it >li
“Do you believe in marrying one’s own relative?
“or course, I married my wife.”
0. G.
in It a!
Call the .lunltman
“Do you think autos are ruining the younger gen-
oration?"
“No, I think the younger generation is ruining the
autos."
, Chester.
o t1 0
Our idea of misplaced endeavor is the lad who is
polite to his room—mate.
’l‘ is in
Only a Buck, Too
It’s never too late to subscribe to the NEWS. You
who read this probably have done so already, but tell
your friends who have not.
9. 1.

Can You Explain This
Every time you study hard and know your stuff, you
don‘t get called on. Then you date one night during
the week and the prof is sure to get you cornered the
next day. Why?
ill 7?- II:
Some Civil suggested that sponges be mixed with
concrete to make the sidewalks softer.

vll S: ’3?
Poise will he poise—even college poise.
Yes, Why?
Politician: “Congratulate me, dear, I got the horn-
ination.”
His wife: “Honestly!"
Politician: “Oh, why bring that up?"
—«Walt.
ts 7!: ’8
Joe is a light-heavyweight—light in the head an
heavy in the feet. —R. E2.
2: 1? Ill
She: “Bob put his arm around me several times

last night.”
He: “Well, he must have a blamed long arm."
_-Micro Mike.

also

Gui of Lucie Right

Too bad for the sheep herder who didn’t know what
to do for his insomnia. -—-J. P.
)0 is =1)

Ques: “Why do snowflakes dance?"
Ans: “I don’t know, unless they’re practicing for
the snow bal .” mchester.

use

 

 

Hope you liked it. We don’t care whether you did
or not. «Kit.

Professor Lynn

Eugene worries
(A Biographical Sketch)

 

fill CHARLES EILAIHINA, ’31

Lynn Eugene Davies, Assistant
Professor of Experimental Engi~
nearing, known at the Institute
and in the commercial world for
his work in heating and. ventilat-
ing, was born in Milwaukee, Wis,
on July 1, 1806. He was graduated
from the 10th District Grammar
school and the East Division High
School, both of Milwaukee. In
1915, he entered the University of
Wisconsin at Madison, and re-
mained for one year. Being in a
state of poor health he was unable
to devote the required energy to his
studies and consequently became
discouraged with the school in
general. The following year he
came to Armour as a student in
order to be with his friends at the
institute and near the olllces of
the Model Airplane Club of which
he later became president.

Because of Armour's higher
standards, he had to register here
as a freshman instead of a sopho—
more, as he had expected Never-
theless, by intense application and
summer school courses, be com—
pleted his college work in the
scheduled four years and received
his BS. degree from the Institute
in 1019. He has remained here
ever since and next year expects to
receive his ME. degree.

The Wisconsin Motor Company
and the Beeler Organization of
New York, a firm of traction engi-
neers situated at Wichita, Kano,
each. were his employers for short
periods, but consulting work. on
heating and ventilating questions
makes up all of his outside work at
present.

Professor Davies’ hobbies are
quite expansive; in fact, they reach.
from the ground up. Four of his

 

 

 

 

most beloved are gardening, pho-

' tography, radio and aviation. He

confessed that his home is full of
snapshots which. he had taken at
various times. Like all real radio
fans, he constructs his own broad—
cast reeelvers although “it is hard
to keep up with. the times." The
last hobby, aviation, he does not
follow actively, but none the less
is intensely interested in current
literature on the subject.

In 1921 he married Lucille
Parker, 21. Chicago girl, who lived
near Professor Davies’ college
home. They have two boys.

Perhaps the most notable of his
achievements is the set of data on
“The Measurement of the Flow oi:
Air Through Registers and Grilles,”
taken at the Institute for the
American Society of Heating and
Ventilating Engineers before which
he presented a paper on January
29, 1030. The results were of such
accuracy as to be adopted by the
Chicago Ventilating Contractors'
Employment Association and the
City of Chicago as a standard.
The formula derived has been
named the Davies formula.

New Armour liiotltute
Was Planned in lhfifi)

In the Chicago Tribune ol’ Febru—
ary 21, 1930, there appeared under
the heading ol’ “10 Years Ago To—
Day” the following article:

CHICAGO—Details for the new
Armour institute to be announced
today contemplate the expenditure
of millions. It will be built at 75th
street and Yates avenue on land
once the property of “Long John"
Wentwcrth, former mayor. some
time ago Dr. Frank Gunsaulus ap—
proached J. Ogden Armour on the
subject of purchasing the 80 acre
tract for the institute. Mr. Ar—
mour agreed to put up $1,000,000 to
buy the land and further said he

 

 

 

would give $5,000,000 to erect new
buildings.

Tuesday, February 25, 191342;“

luauslrlngg Reporter

 

Question: What is the improve-
ment most needed at Armour?

John Wallxzsh, ’33, E. E,——T“n~e
faculty is excellent, but the some“
merit in some of the laboratories in
out of date. I would like to see the
curriculum adjusted so that a. men
wouldn’t be rushed through so fast.

Charles B. Summers, ’33’ arch.»—
I would like to see all of the Archi-
tects get together and design a new
school and campus for Armour.
Something that would actually be
built. We surely do need a new
field house for our athletes.

Victor Peterson, ’33, E. E.-What
we need at Armour is a bigger and
better lunchrcom. A place equipped
with more adequate facilities for
our student body.

King Simpson, ’30, 9h. li—o—I
would like to see someone jack up
the chimneys of Armour and build.
a new school under them.

L. ll. Newnlan, ’31, E. E.——Every—
thing; appears to be all right with
me, but we could use some new
equipment in the Physics lab.

5.. ll. Sher-k, ’32, Erik—Now equip-
ment in the laboratories and espe-
cially in the Physics laboratory is
what Armour needs most. The
majority of the meters in the mec—
trical shop are run down and
haven’t been calibrated for many
years.

 

An oyster who a pearl contains is
just as glum, and just as
selfish,

And hasn't any better brains than
any ordinary shellfish.

 

Like a piece of art, a piece of lit-
erature, a drop of water, sincerity
is simplicity itself. Easy to achieve
too—all one has to do is to be him-

 

 

 

self and sincerity will have been
achieved.

 

fl .. hallengge

 

to the imagination

To provide telephone service of na-

tional scope, to manage

properties valued at more than three and

three—quarter billion dollars,

organization of more than 400,000 people
at highest efficiency —— such work spurs
the creative thought of men of the high-

est calibre.

‘Nithin the Bell System many have
achieved outstanding success. Their work.

and develop

to maintain an nomics and the

is not only in pure science and engineering,
but in organization and management, in
salesmanship, financial adoumstrauon, em-

many other fields vital to

the growth of so great an enterprise.
Because of these men the Bell System is
able to furnish the best all—around telephone

service in the world. A progressive policy

organization can

puts at their disposal every aid that a great

give.

BELEJ thflEEh/l

«~14 nation-wide xyxttm of iortrwssmrrécg regimens:

 

 

“OUR PlONEERlNG

 

WORK HAS

j'US’l‘ scGUN