”dealt Wears Student Publication of the ARMOUR. INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY CHICAGO, ILLINOIS Published Weekly During the College Year SUBSCRIPTION RATES Single Copies, 10 Cents Each THE STAFF MANAGING BOARD $2.00 Per Year Editor-in—Chief ..................... Fred Attwood, ’31 , Arthur Jens, ’31 Managing Editors ................ Alvin Auerb a ch, ,31 Business Manager ................ Frank Spaldlng, ’31 Faculty Adviser ........... Professor Walter Hendricks Vol. V. APRIL 29, 1930 No. 10 Cleave to “The Slipstick"; let the Slapstick fly where it may. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA“ JUST LIKE A WOMAN She stood before the mirror With eyes shut very tight, And tried to see just how she looked When fast asleep at night. Ein Stein all Hi! >11 This being our last column, may we now introduce the new conductor, Phil Jordan, who will be your rib tickler in the future. Success to Phil. x's ill '41! ES! “I can tell you something that will turn your head.” “What?" ' “Your neck.” Chuck :1: >3 ll! A popular song is one that becomes a howling suc- cess. Walt ‘” u: a: a Significant Sign Positively No Checks Cashed Not even for Strangers Iii 71‘ ll: “My wife doesn‘t understand me. Does yours?” “Dunno—I never heard here mention your name.” -Chester —0rtho mar; AINT IT THE TRUTH Two- things that never return—youth and the best shirts you send to the laundry. 4: a Stranger: “Don't the fast trains ever stop here?” Hie: “Yep, had a wreck here once. (h it ' FAREWELL With our retirement we wish to express our thanks to our contributors, and introduce them (those we know) to our readers. Phil J. (Philip Jordan, ’31), Bongineer (George Bonvallet, ’32), Chester (Chester Bogowicz, ’30), Walt (Walter Filmer, ‘30), Ein Stein (B. J. Stein, '30), Ortho (Edmund Field, ’32), R. S. F. (Richard S. Fox), John Z. (John Zolad, ’30), H. M. (Mark A. Hotchkin, ’30), J. S. McC. (James S. McCall). The Co—cd, The Kidder, and Sparks have successfully maintained their anonymity. If we have omitted anyone, we are sorry. Thanks to all of you. ll: 1% 5!! A recent bulletin issued by the C. R. T., (Chicago (1’) Transit) stated that during the heavy We don’t doubt There were that many on the train we Rapid storm they carried 1,000,000 people. that at all. went home on that first night. =t a * There is always one consolation about a flunk in the second semester. You can make it up in six weeks of summer school. :k a: A few very critical critics raised particular cain be— cause one joke appeared twice in the column last issue. Well, think nothing of it. If two guys give us the same story, they both get a break. Isn‘t that fair. (Sure it is.) ’l: 5!! It B. T. U. suggests that you be sure and sec Lon Chaney in “INGAGI.” >ll '4: :1: NOTICE This column might not be as near full of humor this week as it ought to be, but one thing is certain, we are going to make another crack about giving Slipstick your support and making more contribs each week. Don’t forget the box there on the first floor. vi: 1k I'K Jack relates that the ideal dumbbell is the babe who wears pumps because she has water on the knees. >1: a: is A CLO E SHAVE We know a fellow who went to the barber college but got tossed out of class for overcutting. —Joe 4: >l< * Foolish Fresh: “What economy?” Smart Soph: “A dead Scotchman." l k l is your idea of rigid So long fellows. some time. Glad I met you. See you agin ——Kilian Knittel ARMOUR TECH NEWS VANDALMM Twice a year, each and every man in attend— ance at Armour pledges himself to live up to the requirements of the school. The enrollment card states plainly that each applicant . . . agrees to obey . . . the unwritten rules of courtesy, man- liness, and honor; this is the only bond that the school places upon the men. However, it seems that there are certain men' in the school to whom this either has no meaning, or to whom the word honor has no significance. For as long as history has record, the phrase “on my honor” has stood for its face value. These . simple words have been more convincing a factor than the longest speech possible; without honor there is no civilization. Therefore, when a man agrees to live under the unwritten rules of honor, it is impossible for any more binding agreement to be made; this implies all that anything more explicit could imply, and is the highest kind of a bond between men. Armour seems to have been most unfortunate in having within its walls some men to Whom the term honorable cannot be applied. This group of men have wilfully stolen objects that are an es— sential and integral part of the school; that is, these men have deemed it their right to raid the library for whatever pleased their fancy to take. It would have been a sad state of affairs if the IOSSes had been slight; the actual facts of the case are that the thefts are of an unbelievable number. The most flagrant of all the malefactions was the mutilation of the New Encyclopedia Brittan- ica, a set of volumes that has just been added to the library this year, and which comprises one of the most up-to-date references available. Some man has wilfully torn out a series of pages from one volume, ruining the set, for no single volume for replacement will be available until the edition is out of print. That means that the men in the future will be deprived of the use of the informa- tion contained on those pages; it is a loss that will be felt keenly by those who are studying that topic, as many will do in the future. During the past year the library has by sundry gifts, class donations, and a careful budget, man- aged to purchaseand acquire, roughly, two hun— dred bOOks ofwririodern fiction. These volumes were carefully chosen to afford the best of read- ing matter to the men, and their early popularity proved their good qualities. However, due to the thieving instincts of some men, whom we regret to name as men of Armour, there remain but less than fifty of these for circulation. This recent inventory of the fiction remaining seems to point out clearly that we are no longer a group of do. cent college men, but a group honeycombed by the rottenest, lowest type of men possible—sneak- thieves. To date, the librarian has not been able to check up on the losses on the technical works, but the general indications are that the losses will like- wise be proportionately high. As engineers, this is a direct blow; the fiction was but entertain- ment, but these books are the lifeblood of our work. A great portion of engineering work con- sists of reference to the experimental and theo— retical observations of the men at the top of the profession, and it is for that reason that the li- brary is such an integral part of any school of this nature. It seems that we are doomed to have access to only those which the light—fingered choose to leave, while they, at will, pick the best, and depart. It is impossible to make one realize how deadly serious this situation is unless you are confronted with the problem of actually utilizing the library for some project. But the truth will be driven home more solidly when you ask for a certain book, and are told that it is “lost” . . ask for another and find that it, too, is “lost,” and in short, all the material you need is no longer ac~ cessible because the men of Armour are no longer honorable. It is not for us to recommend a course of ac- tion. The school authorities are doing all in their power to combat this wave of sheer vandalism, but the men can do more by preventing the ac— tions. No one need play the part of a “tattle- tale,” but the united action of the men can pre— vent a recurrence of this. If one remembers that the type of a man who would wilfully steal some- thing will do untold harm to others is below all possible levels, there need be no fear of sympathy. Perhaps cheap braggarts have instigated some of these actions; but they are no longer braggarts' but rotters of the worst kind, a disgrace to the school and their families. A.B.A. Deans” fillies Urges Early Applications Students who have friends in— tending to enter Armour next Sep- tember should advise them to make application for admission at an early 3. date as possible, according to the office of the deans. It should be borne in mind that, while Armour takes in about two hundred and fifty freshmen each year only two hundred of these po« sitions are open for general appli- cants. This is caused by the fact that twenty—five positions are tak— en up by the fire protection engi- neering scholarships and about 25 more by the scholarships which go to the high schools of Cook Coun- ty. Early application does not make acceptance certain as each man is judged on grades and on character. But naturally, an application re- ceived by the Dean’s Office in April will have a greater chance of being accepted than one received in Au- gust. flivils Visit Steel and Cement Plants Last Friday, April 25, the junior and senior oivils made an all day inspection trip to the Inland Steel Company at Indiana Harbor and the Universal Portland Cement plant at Butfing‘ton, Indiana, under the supervision of Professors Ensz, Grafton and Pierce. At the Inland plant, the men. were shown the stages of the man— ufacture of structural shapes, from the smelting to the finishing proc- esses. Guides were furnished to explain the various steps in the process. The Universal Portland Cement Company then acted as hosts, pro- viding dinner for the men. The inspection trip was then resumed, the entire process of manufactur— ing, packing and, storing being shown. The men were split into small groups and taken thru the raw material department, the kiln rooms, and the finishing mill. Golf Tournament Played Saturday A golf match between the alumni and the Armour varsity squad was scheduled for last Saturday, April 26th. It was played at the Ever— green course at 91st and Western Ave. This annual tournament, as is customary, was to comprise a total of 72 holes. The morning round matches Were to be singles, with the afternoon given over to the final doubles. Manager John Sitzler reports that the Armour squad now total— ing eight men, will in the near fu— ture be cut to five men, Four of these will be regulars with one man as a reserve. The schedule of matches for this season will be of— ficially announced next week. metaphonic Device Records Messages A device recently invented in England eliminates the nuisance of the telephone operator’s “They do not answer.” In the absence of the subscriber, the device takes down the message. This is but one of a series of in— ventions by Louis Blattner in re- cording and reproducing sound. He has produced a telephone registra- tion machine which controls, re- cords, and files an entire conversa— tion, including any remarks by the operators, or busybodies on the wrong line. A slumbering economics class was rudely awakened from its stupor last Thursday, the hottest April 10th on record, when “Dead-Eye Tony" Montesano heaved an economics book half-way across the room in the direction or an invading mouse. According to Tony, the visitor was making his way from beneath the stage to a haven amongst the seats when he (Tony) gave way to his hunting instincts and hurled the volume. The tome unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, missed its mark, and the. class was soon re— stored to normalcy. LiiltA’ihllNl’W hhlfid SIGMA ALPHA MU Sigma Epsilon of Sigma Alpha Mu wishes to announce the results of the election or officers for the coming year. The new officers are as follows: ‘ ‘ A. B. Auerbach, ’Bl—Prior S. Weinberg, ’32‘Exchequer A. Simon, ’BZ—Recorder. The annual spring house party will be held at the home of Avron Simon on Saturday night, May 3rd. This affair is sure to excell all those that have preceded it, ac— cording to the entertainment com- mittee. SlGlVlA KAPPA DELTA A Sunday afternoon tea is to be given May 4th at the'S. K. D. House. The purpose of the afl’air is to give parents and the young lady a chance to visit the house and see the members in their home element. Pl—ll l’l Pl-ll Gamma Chapter of Phi Pi Phi announces the formal pledging of: W. Hartbauer, ’32 and G. Selferth, ‘32 on Tuesday, April 22, 1930. TRHANGLE The National Convention will be held May 1, 2, and 3 at the Edge— water Beach Hotel. The consider- ation of petitions from several fraternities will be the main busi~ ness. Amusement will be provided by Artie Schmerin. The Founder‘s Day Banquet was held in the Old Town Coffee Shop, of the Hotel Sherman. Another affair held recently was the Father and Son’s Dinner, which had such success that plans are being formed for a Mother’s dinner. time! MAIN Chicago Store: sun u JACKSON mi sown-u mxcumn «NBAHMDNI‘IDM Tuesday, April 29, 1930 THETA Xi Alpha Gamma of Theta Xi held their annual 6294 banquet in con- junction wlth the Theta Xi Club of Chicago at the Palmer House Sat- urday, April 26, 1930. RHO DELTA RHO Rho Delta Rho held a smoker at the Morrison Hotel Friday evening April 18th. Plans were completed for the annual informal Dinner Dance to be held at the Knicker- bocker Hotel, May 10th. BETA rs: Wm. Deering is confined to his home as a result of a jolt to his knee. Water on the knee developed and it’s not known just how serious it will continue. * Mr. L. M. Endres, electrical, ’25, paid us a visit on Tuesday, April 15. Mr. Endres is employed by the Nebraska State Highway Commis- sion and lives in Lincoln. He is still an enthusiastic radio fan. Mr. F. M. Kratohvil, electrical, ’23, made a call at the Institute on Monday, April 14. Mr. Kratohvil is a radio inspector for the federal government and now has his head— quarters in Detroit. He nearly burned the tires of]? his car in driv— ing from Detroit to Chicago in seven and onenhalf hours. Canmlete Satisfaction Guaranteed Wll‘lllllAWN DRESS Slil'l‘ RENTAL (10. S. RUBACHA. PROP. FULL DRESS, CUTAWAY AND TUXEDO SUlTS _.1.._ 558 EAST 63RD STREET Phone Plaza 7310 broad toe! 'i‘li d. Arr trainer _ Hf “duality/”ma style for modern “youth 00K at its sweeping lines and smart semi- alive—on the go——anywhere, any— It’s the shoe that modern youth has chosen and it’s priced so that they may easily enjoy it. In " Black or Tan Calfskin. $5 It’s FLOOR