l r Page Two 'E‘ucsday, October 29, $329 humour ”lash blows Student Publication of the ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY CHICAGO, ELHJINOIS Published Weekly During the College Year THE STAFF MANAGKNG BOARD Editor~in-Chief .................. David T. Smith, ’30 ARMOUR TECH NEWS Cleave to “The Slipstick"; let :: “THE SfliPSTfC 9’ :: the Slapstick fly where it may. THE SLIPSTICK PROBABL Y A MISOG YNIST First she’s in your thoughts a lot, 00. as designing and contracting engineer. The American Bridge Co. also claimed one year of his serv» ices in the same field. Prof. Wells came to the Insti- tute in the fall of 1901, as an in— structor in Bridge Engineering. The following year his title became that of Assistant, and in 1903 he became an Associate Professor. He is now Professor of Civil Engineering and fugufiérag fiepofier Question: “That type of asscmv files do you like best, speeches or illustrated lectures? N. C. Nari/en, ’39, F. R Vii—El» lustrated lectures are preferable because the students feel that the speaker can give a clearer presen— tation of the subject. Managing Editor ........... ...John S. Meek, :30 She has many charms; is in charge of We department of W. mm“, ’31, E. 12,de mega: Sumo: 55131:“? ager """" igl‘af'e's‘sbgfilgifiéflfi’mg Soon she’s in your motor car; aeronautical engineering. either one, a speaker or a good acu y Viser .......... ~ ‘ - NEWS DEPARTMENT News Editor ......... . ....... Fred B. Attwood, '31 Departmental Editors. . . . ................ E. W. Carlson, ’32 J. R. Jackson, ’32 W. H. Rudolf, ’32 V. A. Sturm, ’30 Reporters F. M. James, ’31 T. Leavitt, ’33 J. M. Robbe, ’32 C. E. Rudelius, ’30 O. Barnett, ’33 I. M. Berger. ’3l P. Botteroff, ’33 J. B. Dirkers, ’32 Then she‘s in your arms. Then she’s in your family; Oh, a lackaday! Then of course for evermore She’s always in your way. C heater yr an :1: Our idea of the meanest man in the world is the warden who put a tack on the electric chair. £1 )5: 14 Do your shoes hurt? No, but my feet 010. Professor Melville In 1910 Prof. Wells gathered to— gether his first class in aeronautical engineering, and has had a class each year since then. This course, which is now taught at all the lead— ing engineering schools in the country, had its origin at A. I. '1‘. under the direction of Prof. Wells. In 1896 he married Mary F. Hud- son and they now have one son and one daughter. Prof. Wells is a member of the illustration. L. B. Statkus, ’31, C. E—E like me demonstration because that gives you a more dcfixfite idea of the object and concrete meaning of the subject. It also shows what new things there are. F. N. Elromada, ’32, C. E.—-Illu£~ trated lectures are bound to be better than the other kind. E would rather have them all this way. H. Meyer, ’33, C. E.—-—Naturaliy, the illustrated one. It doesn’s take R. L. Ellis, ’33 A. Weston, '32 a a in Western Society of Engineering, a . A .. Bother“ Wells trustee of the Morgan Park Mili- :5 mulch cogentratfin because “’9 scours numumuur PHILOSOPHY tary Academy, and also a member ‘6 a me 9 mm ed- Anything we can see is more clear and 1m- 5 orts Editor .......................... A. H. Jens, ’31 It takes a certain amount 01' 1011511 to accompliSh , ‘ ,I , of the Indiana Society of Chicago. , p . anything—even with a wheelbarrow. A BIO-'1’ “P"‘IW “WW He is also a charter member of the degte‘snéifl‘fég r 1,. Assxstants Yesterday is a cancelled check-tomorrow is a '— . 90 , , . . E.—You can R. Mulroney, ’33 E. R. Rowley, ’30 C. Stempkowski, ’32 FEATURE DEPARTMENT Feature Editor ....................... Al Auerbach, '31 Columnist ...................... K. A. Knittel, ’30 Feature Writer. . . Stephen Janlszewski. ’30 Inquiring Reporter .................. H. P. Richter, ’32 MAKE-U}? DEPARTMENT promissory note—today is cash. Somebody or other :k a m ANQTHER ONE An absent—minded professor was walking down the street one day with one foot in the gutter and the other on the pavement. A friend, meeting him said: “Good afternoon, professor, and how are you?” “I was very well, I thought, but now for the last, .ten minutes I’ve been limping." By 1’. EM“. SEHDELWN Melville 13. Wells, professor of Civil Engineering, was born at Commisky, Indiana, on January 27, 1870. He received his grade school education at the little country schools located near his home. Later he: attended North Vernon High School, where he mastered the Purdue chapter of Phi Delta Theta and Tau Beta Pi. While at the In- stitute he was received as an hon— orary member to Chi Epsilon. Prof. Wells is the author of one book entitled, “Steel Bridge Design— ing," which he published in 1913, and many short articles which were edited from time to time, Prof. Wells confided that his most thrilling event came in 1912 when get more out of those with demon- strations because it is pictured be— fore you and is more clear. A lec- ture is more dry and everybody goes to sleep. E. A. Rahmcl, ’32, E. E.—An as— sembly which has both speaker and demonstration would make things clearer and impressive because the things would stick with you longer. W. A. Holland, ’32, 8h. E—fln Make—up Editor ............. Stephen Janiszewski, '30 W. L. F. final studies Wh‘Ch enabled him to he “enjoyed” his first flight in a assembly with demonstrations is Assistants * ‘1’ “‘ gas; theientlgarécelefiailiégsatiglns at F1154? Model Wright Ship- The pilot, better simply because they show . - .. urue,neao‘ . cre- . . - - J . Taylor, ’32 M. J. Schinke, ’32 131“ Wilcox, (at 1'15)' after he had landed, refused to take before the audience Spealfic ex- E. J. Wiltrakis, '32 A. E. Wierzbowski, ’32 B. C. Scott BUSINESS DEPARTMENT Advertising Manager ......................... (Open) Assistants C. A. Erickson, ’32 E. A. Scanlan, ’32 F. W. Spaulding, ’31 R. G. Kellner, '31 Circulation Manager ................ C. H. Johnson, '30 Assistants—«A. H. Jens, ’31; G. Reichle, ’30; A. J. Lehke ’31; F. W. Spaulding, ’31; E. J. Wiltrakis, '32; E. A. Scanlan, ’32; E. W. Carlson, ’32. Vol. IV OCTOBER 29, 1929 No. 5 ARMOUR 5PM]? The true Armour spirit is an intangible thing, a thing hard definitely to describe, to make understand- able on paper. It does not consist of any one trait, any one characteristic, but when evidenced, is im- mediately recognized. It is brought out better by actions than by words. In the summer of ’28, John Urban, then recently graduated from Armour, lost his life. In the chemical plant where he was working, some escaping gas caused a fire. Unless somebody turned off this gas immediate- ly, there would have been great loss of property and probably life. Without hesitating, Urban dashed in, shut off the gas, suffering burns which soon proved fatal. He gave his life to save others. We call this an evidence of the true Armour spirit. “Time has magnitude but has no direction.” Same person, (at 1:20): “Gentlemen, the time is now up.” The Bongineer ' 74 c To bad for the sexton of the cathederal who called in the plumber to fix the pipe organ. r» :1: m MUDDY WATERS & MESSHSSIPM MUD We heard that they put a hammer next to the drinking fountain one day last week. wanted some water all you had to do was to break ofif some and a it a short while. :3 0 u FLA Y BALL “Who is that man in the blue coat, “He is the umpire, darling." “And why does he have that funny wire thing on his face?” When you dear?” “To keep him from biting the players.” *- U} at: The Swiss government has just perfected an echo that will answer you in any language. a: nu 4: Visitor: “What has this town in the form of wo— men’s clubs?” Native: “Sash—weights, rolling pins and hammers.” :11 m c THE EVERPRESENT TRIANGLE Husband, Wife and Can opener. 3}: W n ceived his B. S. degree in Civil En- gineering in 1894. Prof. Wells remained with his alma mater as an instructor in sur— veying and at the same time com- pleted the advanced work which earned him his masters degree in 1895. In the spring of ’95 he joined the stall? of the LaFayette Bridge the air again that day, due to the stormy weather conditions. To pilot a ship has always been Prof. Wells secret ambition. How- ever, being denied this satisfaction, he is enjoying the tutoring of the future Bridge Designers, at the In- stitute as well as at summer camp, where he includes a course in the mysteries of the hook and line. amples of things which they would otherwise have to imagine and in this way the students are able to reap more benefit from the dis— cussions which the speaker em— bodies in his lecture. In common things the law of sacrifice takes the form of positive duty.——Froude. “1:: T: WW“? , 2‘ ll“ A farmer was showing a friend over the farm. “How When the call came for students and alumni to many sheep do you think there are in that flock?” support the school in times of financial difficulty he asked. several years ago, one student, whose name we W1“ The visitor considered a minute and then replied, not mention, felt called upon to help. He was work- n About 500." mg his way through school by night work, supporting himself entirely, also paying tuition and fees. Yet , he gave one hundred dollars, at a sacrifice which ’ nobody realized at the time. Was this the true Armour spirit? It was, and yet this spirit is something more. The true Armour spirit a a e ; is a spirit of honesty, of endeavor, and a spirit of Babe Ruth did not write “Home Sweet Home." self sacrifice, the spirit which causes a man to further is t! a the good of the whole no matter what the cost to f himself. ; . CHALK ‘ “A small stick of soft limestone, chiefly composed of the shells of foraminiiers, used to mark on boards.” ‘ is the way Noah W. describes that necessary object of school life, the chalk. We do not disagree with his definition of the composition of the subject, for our technical knowledge in such lines is quite limited; ! but Webster overlooked one usage which seems to be most important, the throwing of broken pieces of chalk from the hand of one person to a spot, pre- ferably the ear, upon the body of another. There seems to be some peculiar fascination about these small cylindrical objects which compel the pass— erby to lift and propel one across a room, or down four stories to the street where it hits some unsuspecting ‘ student. Perhaps it is the smooth feel, the perfect . balance or the way it is toasted, that forms the attrac— i tion. Nobody thinks of throwing chairs, fountain pens, f . t . , ,, or slide rules so there must be some strange attrac— of, (might 5 performance. ”Have you got it? tion that will cause a twenty-four year old senior to Can you play a fiddle? revert to childhood days. But the Seniors are not w “ a . even in a class who the Juniors, Sophomores, and 0f 09‘3““ lli: ‘5 . Freshmen in the matter, and the Freshmen are worst They were coming across the Brooklyn bridge and The farmer was astonished. “Absolutely correct," he declared. “How did you know?” “Well, I just counted the legs and divided by four." the guest explained. W. L. F. He who hesitates is booked at. R. S. F. ‘43 W '3‘ Science Teacher: “Name a liquid that won’t freeze.” Bright Guy: “Hot water.” Chester :4! an =9} Quick, lower the curtain, one of the living statues has the hiccups. lit 5 '3' EDLE CHATTER Dumb-“I’d like to have your telephone number." Dora—"It’s in the book.” Dumb«“That’s fine. What’s your name?” Dora—“That’s in the book too.” Key Wow/”n selling: ma. new telephone idea Commercial development men ofthe Bell System have originated a new use of the Erlephone which is proving economical and efficient for modern salesmanship. - From important central towns the salesman makes periodic visits to customers and prospects .12) Ringworm To conceive this idea, to make it practical R. S- F. by selecting Key Torms on a basis of most advantageous: rates to surrounding points! and to sell it as 2: business pmrficc~all this illustrates how telephone service i. as open as any commodity to constructive imagiusnou Key Town selling is one 05mm}? indies? tions of the sacs-(iv demand, present . u to come, for more and more :ciephonc serum: 4* xi! 36‘ Yes, he’s awfully bright. Thinks a goblet is a small sailor. * fii 6‘ “One seat, well forward in the center downstairs, of all. saw a little tug puffing around one of Uncle Sam’s ‘fiquT ‘, .2 if there is anything that looks worse than a class— war Vessels just outside the navy base. , BELL S S Efi’g room, the floor of which is littered with chalk, it “There’s a manvof—War, my dear,” he said, pointing; i must be one with the floor covered with broken chalk - and also el'asers. Such a mess is extremely dimcult to remove, because the floor must be washed to get the chalk from the grain of the wood. If those children among us feel that they must throw things why let them go over to the lawn by the side of the Mission building, and try their hand at throwing the big hunk of meteorite reposing there. to the big ship. w clarion-raw? :yxnm 5:1“ {crzr—roscerrésg J’J‘Stpl‘acmm “And is the little one a tug~of~war?” she asked, as she gazed dreamily upon the water. a a * The grade on a. student’s paper approaches zero as the number of times he goes out a week approached seven. ‘ O C: a: to MM 0 Z of) rs :7: a z (a g: I»; W . or :2: 3) m M, 5:: ’1) cl :2: in a) x: ‘K. K,” ‘ .