Page Two ARMQUR TEEH it“ WS Tuesday, leis}; 14., 39212» c“ a a threesome Tech islets at Student Publication of the ARMOUR. KNSTITUTE 0F TECHNOLQGY CHECAGO, ELLENOKS Published Weekly During the College Year THE STAFF MANAGING BOARD Editm ~in- -Chief ................... David T. Smith, '30 Managing Editor ................... John S. Meek, ’30 Business Manager. ............ M. 0. Nelson, ’30 Faculty Advise1 .......... Professor Walter Hendricks ADVESORY EQARD Retirin Editor—in—Chief ...... John Hommes, ’29 ,, , . . ,, Retiring Managing Editor 9 ....... F. B. Farrell, ’29 T15 Spring. Retiring Business Manager... . .Russell E. Johnson, ’29 Retiring Circulation Manager . . .John W. Gamble, ’29 Retiring Makevup Editor ...... Walter J. Ehrmeyer, ’29 Retiring Exchange Editor ....... John E. Barman, ’29 “res smothers” Cleave to “The Siipstick”; let the Slapstick i’lybwhere it may. an an on Till: SONG or This 3111le STUDENT You know that now sweet Spring is here, and birds make music in my ear. I feel so very much depressed; with winter went my vim and zest. When I sit down to desk at night, with lab. reports in mind to write, my thoughts roam 011' somewhere adrift, and soon into the streets I shift. But here’s the thing: nekt day in class, I’ll have a new excuse to pass. When prof asks where’s report due in, I’ll just perk up and say, '1‘ #1 Yes, in between snow storms and tornadoes, one can 11 pick out the season. And Spring does call forth this: Love is a particularly squashy condition of the head ‘ by an appetite in the heart. NEWS DEPARTMENT News Editor ................. .Fred B. Attwood, ’31 Fraternities ........................ Harry Bailey, ’30 Reporters E. W. Carlson, ’32 C. E. Rudelius, ’30 F. M. James. ’31 W. 1-1. Rudolf, ’32 J. R. Jackson, ’32 F. E. Sandborn, ’30 A. H. Jens, '31 Max Schinke, ’32 F. W. McCloska, ’29 R. Steinert, ’31 Jerome Meyer, ’32 V. A. Sturm, ’30 M. L. Morgan, ’31 M. Vander Velde, '30 H. P. Richter, ’32 SPORTS DEPARTMENT Sports Edito1 .................... C. Stempkowski, ’32 Assistants—W. Paradzinski. ’30; E. R. Rowley, ’3;0 V. Taylo1, ’32. FEATURE DEPARTMENT Feature Editor ....................... Al Auerbach, ’31 Staff Artist .......... H. Slavitt, ’32 Feature Writer ............... Stephen Janiszewski, ’30 MAKE-UP DEPARTMENT Make— —up Editor ............. Stephen J an1szewsk1 ’30 Assistants—E. J. Wiltrakis, ’32; H. Holt ’31; G. W Schodde, ’32; A. E. Wierzbowski, ’32. BUSINESS DEPARTMENT Advertising Manager ......................... (Open) Assistant Stanley A. Beatty, ’30 Solicitor—R. G. Kellner, ’31; F. W Spaulding, ’31. Circulation Manager ................ C. H. Johnson, ’30 Assistants—A. H. Jens, ’31; G Reichle, ’30; A. J. Lenka, ’31: L. W. Booker ’31 F. W. Spaulding, ’31 E. J. Wiltrakis, ’32; E. A. Scanlan, ’32; E. W. Carlson, ’32. Exchanges ......................... C. E. Rudelius, ’30 MAY 14, 1929 No. 15 OPEN H0 USE Open House Night is an event of the school year which is far more impo1tant than many realize. It affords an opportunity for the public at large to learn something of the work done here A leading en— ginee1ing school is shown with its laboratories and shops running full blast This exhibition, as perhaps no othe1 could, illustrates the ascent of man over na- ture. The stage of the theatre, a few yards square, shows conflict between people Our stage is scattered blocks apart, between six 01 seven buildings, and shows man conquering nature and learning her inner— most secrets In one place a great steel column is crushed with a force of half a million pounds; in another, measure— ments are taken to one millionth of a pound. In a laboratory, voices are transmitted over a beam of light; in a shop across the street, the clang of forging hammers sound like many thunders. Roaring furnaces that will melt the hardest steels feature one exhibit, while a refrigerator is shown in another that will attain a temperature lower than any ever encountered in the Arctic circle. Liquid oxygen is shown, with a temperature 360 degres below zero. Metals are shown from the glowing cupola of molten iron in the foundry to the motors of finest steels and alloys tested in the Automotive laboratory. These exhibits of science and engineering show strikingly what has been accomplished to the present. But they are only beginnings of what must inevitably be discovered in the future. Armour Institute takes pride in the exhibits of its annual open-house. It enjoys being in the spotlight Vol. Elli First : Nether : First : Nother 2 I say, what are you doing these days? Umpiring for the union. What’s that? Calling strikes. ‘11 1i! it Here’s a real good market tlp: Asparagus. ill F 111 He Got Oil Easy Why all the bandages about Jones’ head? Rotten bridge. Did it break through? Nope; he trumped his wife’s ace. fix it #1 JABER‘WOGK‘}! VERSE The shortstop grabbed the forward pass, And shot it through the hoop, The hockey player stood and cussed: church doing it. The horses refused to loop-the-loop. Phil. J. 1! 3| til DANGERQUS? HT’S FATAL Is it dangerous to drive with one hand? You bet. More than one fellow has run into a She: He: 8 fit 19 Have you ever been fired with enthusiasm? Have I? I’ll say so. From nearly every job I’ve had. Freddie. e 1 11111111111111) NEWS Prof. Wilcox: I cajil my eight- thirty class the: "Pullman Class.” because it has ten sleepers and an observation section. Prof. Leigh: That’s fine, but I call my nine—thirty class the “Pony Express. ” A..J 1 I“Civils See Bridge Plant, " says the Tech Nooze. Gosh, never knew that the craze had gone so far that plants were playing cards now. Iowa Bill. 511 A! This Cue is a Secret! Simpson: We gave the umpire fifty bucks to throw the game for us. Stenho: Well, did you win? Simpson: New, the guy was crooked. 3 TI vii 111 Freddie. HOUSEHOLD llilllN‘li‘S Table scraps are very valuable; they can be con- verted quite easily into many useful things with little trouble. For example, if the scrap ends in tears, the Little Woman can convert it into a Spring Hat. ’3 $4 '3 And from the other point of view, husbands are often most exasperating. They will buy a suit with two pairs of trousers just so that their wives will have twice as many pockets to go through to get anything. it I? xli Sorry, Prof, but my slipstick isn’t working well today on account of the dampness. 11c :14 a Judge: Speeding, were you? Ten dollars fine. Collegiate: Sure thing. Can you change a twenty? Judge: Nope. Twenty dollars fine. 1 1 1. “Let’s go, team," yelled the farmer. 1. a .1 A Horrible Accident He: I fell over fifty feet. She: And you weren’t hurt? He: Oh. no. I was only getting off a crowded street-car. a s: an for a brief evening, after a long, quiet year of pen severance in training and inspiring young men to find their place in the great work of scientific progress. SELF EDUCI—i 2’?th The founding of the luncheon discussion club by Architectural student members of the English classes is very commendable By securing outstanding men to speak on subjects of interest, much may be ac- complished. These students have gone forth to seek enlightenment—they have not waited for it to be brought to them. The resistance of the average college student to cdu~ cation is considerable. Facts and theories bounce off his cranium like rain 011 a tin roof. Of course some streams of knowledge leak into the great open spaces inside, but only when the student does not suspect the faculty of pouring the golden liquid. As long as the youth thinks he is being dosed with learning. he absorbs the required material and nothing more. When, however, he becomes interested in a subject for its own sake, education becomes an in— triguing game, where the student is the seeker, with increased knowledge and wisdom as his goal. The will to learn motivates his spirit and the college, in- stead of being a place where education is systematicv ally injected, becomes a singular opportunity for self- development of character and mind. ”I’m so proud of my boys,” said a happy mother. Massachusetts Institute 01‘ nology. Professor (Elude Emotes flapper (A Biographical Sketch) By A. .‘i‘. AUKSTAI’EHS, ’31 Clyde Barnes Cooper, Head of the Department of English, was born in Prairie, Illinois, December 27, 1875. His early boyhood was spent in this town, and it was here that he attended grade school, but when he was ready for high school, his parents migrated to Lincoln, Neb. At Lincoln Professor Cooper pur— sued his secondary education, and also completed his college course at the University of Nebraska. He re- ceived his bachelor’s degree in 189'], and three years later attained his master’s degree at the University of Iowa. After his graduation he was in»- structor and fellow scholar in Eng— 115511 for one year at the University of Nebraska, after which he re— turned to the University of Iowa, teaching there from 1899 to 1902. Professor Cooper’s next move was to Lafayette, Ind, to teach in the ' English Department of Purdue Uni— versity under the title of Associate Professor of English. Here he taught until he came to Armour Tech in 1909, as head of the de- partment. Since coming to Armour, Pro— fessor Cooper has built the depart- - merit up from a secondary course . to an extremely essential part of the curriculum. While busily en— gaged in his work here, he found time to continue his studies and his researches into languages, and was awarded his doctor’s degree from the University of Chicago in 1914 Professor Cooper was married in 1901 to Helen Hatch, a graduate of the University of Iowa, and has three children: Dorothy, who is the wife of Professor Hartshorn of the University of Chicago; Marjorie, well-known camp—fire girl worker; and Philip, who is at present study- ing Mechanical Engineering at Tech— Professor Cooper is a sponsor and member of the Little Literary Club, and a charter member of the New Philosophy Club. This club is famed for its free thinking and ad- vanced ideas, and also for the prominence of its members. A “Dissertation on Ovid” is one of several books and pamphlets written by Professor Cooper. has also edited two editions of Shakespeare, He is contributor to “Modern Language Notes,” to the “Manly Anniversary Volume,” and to “Books Abroad,” a magazine of historical reviews. At present Professor Cooper is “Not one of them has ever been arrested for speeding or on liquor charges." it ‘01 “Waiter, what’s wrong with this chicken?” “It‘s been in a fight, sir.” “Well, take it back and bring me the winner." in a it The thing that used to be the general topic of con~ versation was Wine, Women, and Song; now it’s ad— vanced (‘2) to Jazz, Janos, and Gin. o - —H. A. M. o 1 e 1115 MESTAKE He: You look good enough to eat. She (insinuatingiy): Well, I’m hungry enough to. 5k 5 it Honesty is defined by the very learned Mr. Webster as freedom from guilt or fraud. He neglected to, say one thing, freedom from money. 9 s e And it’s Open House night. We hope all the visitors have appreciated the display, and have been success— fully deluded that all laboratories are a lot 01’ fun and no work. (At least, that’s how it seemed to us not so many years ago.) And to the prospective trash, remember. contribs are always a source of joy to the poor humor ed. Al. Auerbach. gathering about him the students who are acquainted with the for— eign languages. He is attempting to get together those who have knowledge of the old languages of small races and having them translate the gems of literature from their mother tongue into Eng— lish. Thus by bringing all of these together, getting a contrast and comparison of ancient tales, he hopes to be able to publish a book of folklore which should be a boon to the literary world. This project. together with his English classes, his outside connec~ tions, and his hobbies, (including bridge). provide a very active schedule and an interesting one. is Feted By Fraternities Adrenal There are to be eightyveight stu— dents from East High, of Aurora. 111., here at the institute this even— ing who will be entertained as guests of the maidens Seniors in Tales Varied Elevations The following is a partial list of the positions to be filled by the present Senior class members upon graduation. The vocations being followed vary as widely as the places to which they will go. This list will be continued in later issues 01' the News. J. M. Keman, 0.551., W. C. Eealy, 0.111., G. A. chepfer, CE, and B. R. Schofield, an, all of the class of ’29, are to go into the Naval Air Service. All have taken their quali- fying work at Armour during the past year. The work will consist of one month’s work at Great Lakes followed by eight months at Pen- sacola, Fla, for flight training. They will then be with the fleet for one year. At the end of this train— ing work all intend to go into com- mercial aviation. V. V. Poupitch, ME, ’29, will join the Army Flying Corps, while Hor- ry Nissen, 0.1%., ’29, will do drafting work for the Berliner—Joice Air— craft (:0. After a training period he is to enter airplane design work. The U. 5. Geological Survey will probably claim three students of the civil department. Leo Litanofi', Edward Rutkowski and '1‘. Friedman are the probable em- ployees. F. B. Farrell is also to join the government employees as Jun— ior Highway Engineer for the Dept. of Agriculture. D. L. Williams, C.E., will go to Pittsburgh, Pa., as an employee of the Wilson Snyder Co. G. H. Smith, M.E., has an- nounced his intention of joining the ranks of the Harnischfeger Sales Corp, in the sale of excavat- ing and similar machinery. F’. C. Theede, M.E., and M. J. Kittler. ME, will join forces with Buda Motors. H. C. Newman. ME, will travel to New York and join the men of the electrical department who are to go there. W. H. Ohlbauer, M.E., will go with Burge Ice Machine 00., while C. A. Elomquist, ME, joins Link~Belt Co. and M. B. Goiber states Armour & Co. as his future employment residence. , Cr. C. Olson, also a M.E., join 0. R. S. Engineering Co. Almost all of the Fire Protects will join the underwriters. F. D. Gedelman and Francis Sandals will stay in Chicago with the Chicago Board of Underwriters. R. Phelps will go to Grand Rapids with the Michigan Inspection Board, E. A. Blume to Minneapolis with the General Inspection Bu- reau. W. H. Berry to St. Louis with the Missouri Inspection Bureau, W. M. Buggy to Fort Wayne as a part of the Indiana Inspection Bureau, John Hommes to Louisville with the Kentucky Actuarial Bureau, and Vernon Steenrod to Wichita for the Kansas Inspection Bureau. This article is the first of a series which will appear giving the fu- ture employment of this year’s graduates. is to BETA PS} Beta Psi fraternity held an in- formal dance at the chapter house Saturday, May 6. Many alumni were present at the affair. aggressor recess; E’Hl i’l Pill Phi Pi Phi fraternity announces the pledging of Henry melaton- berg. THETA Kl Annual Parents‘ Day Dinner $1.25 served at 1:30 P. 1111., Smdey, May 12th, at the Chapter House. 1311 or twenty parents were present, in addition to the active chapta. During the meal A. 3. Olsen, ’33, was awarded a silver cup for hem the most outstanding member of the Freshman class. The cup, awarded by P. E. Heath, president, is to be awarded each year to that member of the Freshman class who, in the opinion of the oficers of the Chapter, has been the most outstanding in his activity during the school year. There will be open house on Monday and Wednesday highs and all day Saturday. DELTA TAU DELTA The Delts had a Formal Dance at their Chapter House my 13th. to celebrate the twenty—eighth arm:- versary of Gamma Beta Chapter of Delta Tau Delta. Many alumni took advantage of this opportunity to visit their old haunts. The house was attractively dee- orated in the fraternity colors and a light lunch was served to the guests. PH! KAPPA SlGl’t’iA The Phi Kaps held their annual picnic, Sunday, May 5. The place was a secluded and picturesque spot a few miles out of Aurora. TRIANGLE Triangle is availing itself of the many favorable opportimities of— fered by Junior Week to aid in the adminlsimtion of Probation Week to five of its pledges. The men go— ing through are: Martin Vandervelde, ’30. Eugene Richards, ’32. John. MoKana, ’31. Harvey Flossing. ’32. Walter McWilliams, ’32. WE ass-r pg or 331.3... 1 emrawav’s SilflES—Slliifil’i’d—Alfitl‘lfi WEEQS ELERESS WE 131111131511 1311C amass can use use? :11; calmed sea as erase Species! Heirs to Cruisers enters... Phone 39—3er airs Q £21 Wit? 6 E. mm Opes; Evenings disaster Phone Nomi $843 hhfillllii seahorses Ell. Eeemdhing 1'51 garments, final: but Samuel’s $3243 fiouth Ashimui Avenue Putin‘s areal Chicago, r Eli