Page Two ARMOUR TECH NEWS Tuesday, Aprfi Q, 292?: ARMOUR TEEN NEWS Student Publication of the ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY CHICAGO, ILLINOIS Published Weekly During the College Year THE STAFF MANAGING BOARD Editor—in-Chief Managing Editor . Business Manager ....... John Hommes, '29 ..... Fred B. Farrell, ’29 .Russell E. Johnson, ’29 Faculty Adviser .......... Professor Walter Hendricks NEWS DEPARTMENT News Editor .................... David T. Smith, ’30 Assistants ....... John S. Meek, '8 F. E. Attwood, ’3] Fraternities ....................... Harry Bailey, '30 Copy ............................. A. B. Auerbach, 31 Reporters E. W. Carlson, ’32 F. M. James, ’31 J. R. Jackson, ’32 F. W. McCloska, ’29 Jerome Meyer, ’32 R. Steinert, '31 M. L. Morgan, ’31 M. Vander Velde, ‘30 SPORTS DEPARTMENT C. E. Rudelius, ’30 W. H. Rudolf, ’32 F. E. Sandborn, ’30 Max Schinke, '32 Sports Editor .................... C. Stempkowski, ’32 Assistants .......... W. Paradzinski, ’30; V. Taylor, ’32 EDKTORIIAL DEPARTMENT Humor .............................. Al Auerbach, ’31 Staff Artist . . . John Gr. Attwood, ’29 Assistant .. ....... H. Slavitt, ’32 Books Revie s ................... J. M. Jacobson, ’29 Feature Writer ............... Stephen Janiszewski, ’30 Editorial Writers ............................ (Open) MAKE-UP DEPARTMENT Make-up Editor ................. W. J. Ehrmeyer, ’29 Assistant ......................... E. J. Wiltrakis, ’32 BUSINESS DEPARTMENT Advertising Manager ............ Morris 0. Nelson, ’30 Assistant ................. ....Stan1ey A. Beauty, '30 Solicitor—R. G. Kellner, ’31 F. W. Spaulding, ’31. Circulation Manager ............ John W. Gamble, ’29 Assistants—C. H. Johnson, ’30; A. H. Jens, ’31; G. Reichle, '30; A. J. Lenkc, ’31; L. W. Booker, ’31; F. W. Spaulding, ’31; E. J. Wiltrakis, ’32; E. A. Scanlan, ’32; E. W. Carlson, ’32. Exchanges ...................... John E. Barman, ’29 APRIL 9, 1929 GUN FIRES T BER THDA Y It is to say the least a thrilling experience for us, members of the staff, to commemorate the first an— niversary of the founding of this school newspaper. During the past year the staff has worked hard. It has endeavored to the best of its ability to present a Vol. HIE No. Ell :: “THE SLEPSTKQVK” :: Cleave to “The Slipstick”; let the Slapstick fly where it may. Dedicated to the Week Little sheets of paper Stacked up in a heap; Little sheets of paper How you make me weep. Notice from a meany prof, ‘ 0h, why are you mine? Notice from a horrid prof, Curse you! Valentine. :1: >¥ 1% —Allah. The Great Fuel Able: Vet is de idea of raising dc price of gasoline all do time? Garage Man: What do you care? You haven’t a car. Abie: No, but I got a cigar lighter. i i a A certain report was turned in, and the student had it returned to him the next day with a notation scrawled on the margin. The chap tried to puzzle it out, but he couldn’t, so be brought his report back. “That, sir,” said the professor, “why that says, ‘I cannot read your writing.’ You write illegibly; a very bad practice." :1: 151 3k Bet He Flies Right Off the Handle Passenger: Doesn't this flying game get on your nerves? Aviator: Yes, it makes me soar every time I hop ofi. >l= Ill Ill And them—— The mechanical engineer who wanted to take his nose apart to see what made it run. Frosh: What makes a man always give a woman a diamond engagement ring? Senior: The woman. A” Gnaw, Really? What are these holes in the fence? Those are knot-holes. They are too holes. .x. i W Prof. Leigh is always telling a story about some dumb break made in his classes, so we feel perfectly at ease to tell this about him. .hleems while he was on a fishing trip, the men agreed that the first one to catch a fish must treat the crowd. Prof. Leigh complained that while both of the men had a bite, they were too mean to pull them up. "Did you lose, then?" we asked. “on, no,” said Prof. Leigh, “I didn’t have any bait on my hook." publication which would approach the high standards demanded by the exacting reading public to which it caters, the students and faculty of Armour .Tech. In this endeavor the staff has succeeded ‘passably well, but it realizes, more so than the readers them— selves, that it has far from attained the ultimate. Many mistakes have crept into their work, some of them quite serious, others only humorous. Many news items of importance were missed. Frequently less im— portant write-ups were given undeserved prominence. But we hold that such mistakes were not due to carelessness or to slovenliness; they were the result of lack of organization. improper management of our time, or other causes that are inherent in the fact that the paper is new and without precedent. As such they will be eliminated with time and with increased experience of the staff members. One factor which will insure a maintenance of a high standard for the News is the fact that subscrip- tions to it are purely voluntary. The response to our subscription campaign will always be a direct barom— eter of the approval with which the News is being received. The Armour Tech News is now a “going concern". It has proven its right to existence by refuting all arguments held out against it when it was first pro— posed. The student body has demonstrated that it wants a newspaper, since it subscribed to the extent of about 70 per cent for the present semester. The faculty has always supported it 100 per cent. The man You’d be a fine dancer if it weren’t for two things. What are they? Your feet. ——Freddie. a: 2: it Just liller Chance Gossip: I just heard an awful story about your husband. Wife: Tell me at once. I need a new dress. s a 1. April. A queer month, too emotional, spending most of its time weeping. It is like a stock company gold mine . . . mostly prospects. But remember, the first big league game is near . . . woe to the fatal after- noon classes and the teams in town. —A1. Auerbach. the thorough training of its men in their chosen pro— fessions, nothing is of greater importance for the continued good name and financial success of an edu» cational institution of the nature of A. I. T. than the turning out of graduates who possess affectionate in— terest in and unfailing loyalty to their college. Realizing that were it not for the large measure or help that has been given me on all sides I could not have even begun the production of the newspaper, I ask the privilege of voicing an appreciation or two. First of all, to Professor Walter Hendricks, faculty advisor, for the acquisition of whose friendship alone the work to me has been more than worth while, who first prompted the founding of this news sheet, and who, by his encouragement, and generous donation “I can’t quite make out what this is, if you please, sir.” N Professor Harry Mofiormack (A Biographical Sketch) By STEPHEN JANISZEWSKI, ’30 Professor Harry McCormack was born on a farm near Spencer, Iowa, September ’7, 1876. His early boy— hood was spent on the farm and in a small town in northern Iowa. Most of his time was passed in hunting. fishing and swimming, but incidently, he attended school, graduating from the local high school at the age of fifteen. In 1891, Prof. McCormack en- terecl Drake University at Des Moines, Iowa. He was laboratory assistant in chemistry for three years prior to his graduation and graduated with the class of 1896. While in college, he participated in football, baseball and track. He played on Drake‘s first football team and was captain of the team for two years in succession. In recalling some of the most interesting memories of college, Prof. McCormack dwells most on certain experiences which he had while he played on the baseball team. This period antedated the “1in white” period in athletics. In making a trip with the baseball team, to play against five other teams, there were found to be only three men on the team who were really doing any college work. Among the players were Fred Clarke, afterwards manager of the Pittsburgh Pirates for many years, and Herm McFarland, who later became an outfielder on the Cubs’ team, playing with them for sev— eral years. Prof. McCormack entered the University of Illinois as a graduate student in 1896, where he pursued courses in Chemistry. He taught the next year, returning to the University of lllinois as a fellow in the Department of Chemistry in the autumn of 1898. There he re— ceived his master’s degree in Chemistry with the class of 1899. Following his course at the Uni— versity of Illinois, he taught in high schools and worked in com- mercial laboratories during the present staff of under-elassmen, during the several of time and advice, has inspired the staff to carry on. lsummers for the next five years, weeks just passed, has demonstrated that it is capable of putting out the News without aid from the graduat— ing seniors. All indications point to an exceedingly prosperous future for this newest of Tech‘s publica— tions. Publishing the Armour Tech News has been a pleas— ant experience for the staff. It would not have been so were it not for the unstinted support of the 900 int the community of Armour Tech. The members of thel staff sincerely hope that in the future the support it receives from its reading public will be at least as generous as it has been in the past. Swan Song Exactly a year ago today it was that I experienced the indesirable thrill of seeing the first school news- paper in Armour Tech’s history distributed to the student body, after having been prepared under my editorship. Since that memorable day, memorable to me at least, the same thrill, though perhaps in some— what lesser degree, has been experienced some thirty odd times, as each number of the Nmrs successively appeared. I dare say I have worked hard to produce a pre— sentable weekly chronicle, one which would be not only of interest. but also of value to the readers. I have, so far as circumstances permitted, subordinated , my every other interest in order to concentrate my efforts on the News. For a year it has constituted my major industry. All this I have done because of a sincere belief that no other influence can do more toward co-ordinating the interests of the student body, toward loyalizing them to their alma mater, To Frederick 13. Farrell, managing editor, who has been on the staff from the beginning, and who, though unknown to me until a year ago, has proven a friend indeed. Many an issue would never have made the grade for a Thursday morning appearance had it not been for his tireless and capable efforts. To the junior, sophomore, and freshmen members of the stafi, for their unfailing loyalty, which has removed from my mind all anxiety as to the future welfare of the News. To the business staff, and to Russell E. Johnson in particular, who has successfully managed the finan— cial end. of the concern. To the student body (which really deserves first mention, since its support is indispensable to our exist— ence). which has been ethusiastic about the publica- tion, while being lenient of its too frequent mistakes. To the faculty, who have backed the News to a man, and in particular to Dr. Raymond, who, since the founding of the ATM, has been its best friend. To Mr. Allison, for his invaluable advice to us in matters of business expediency, and for generously providing us with a roomy office. And lastly to our three score or more alumni sub~ scribers, who have willingly given support morally and financially. To all these, my deepest appreciation for their vital contributions toward a successful year for the Now. than a well‘conducted school newspaper And, save cits... am coming to Armour Institute of Technology in 1904, where he has taught since that time. In addition to his duties as a teacher, during the past twenty years, Prof. McCormack has been activeLv engaged in a consulting practice in Chemical Engineering. He was an early member of the Chicago Section of the American Chemical Society and took active part in this organization during that period of time when it was struggling for existence. He held the office of treasurer, vice chair~ man, and chairman and also was for several years a councillor rep- resenting the Chicago Section in the National Council of the Amer— ican Chemical Society. For eight years, Prof. McCormack was editor of “Chemical Engineer» ing " He was elected :1 member of the Institute of Chemical Engineers the year it. was organized. He also holds membership in the American Electrochemical Society and the American Society for Testing Ma- terials Be is a member of Tau Both Pi Phi Lambda Upsilon and 1f lEeChrthk has contrib— uted rosin? articles on chemical and chemical ergineering topics to naysayers Homer in the Sagebrush, by James Stevens. (Alfred Knopf 8a (30., $5.00) To my mind, there is no author just exactly as quaint, amusing and . totally fascinating as the inimita- ble James Stevens. His newest re- lease is "Homer in the Sagebrush,” a collection of short stories well worth ranking with the more wide- 1y known epic of “Paul Bunyan,” as set down by Stevens. Stevens’ style is awkward to de- scribe; it is not ridiculous, but a case of pure humor developed by sheer exaggeration. The tales told are all fantasies created partially from legends current among the laborers in lumberfields and fish— eries on the western coast, and partly by a most vivid imagination. Adjectives are handled and massed into a well drilled troop of words as no other author can. Paragraphs are replete with them; at times they constitute the major portion of the thought. They are not the puny, underfed adjectives the professional publications. He has the distinction of having or— ganized and administered the first course of laboratory work in Chemical Engineering ever ofiered in any college. He has brought with himself to Armour his spirit of sportsmanship evinced by his work as coach of the Armour track team for six years. The original of the portrait used in connection with the biography feature of the Armour Tech News is presented each week to the pro— fessor whose biography appears. These portraits, which are drawn by the stafi artist, J. G. Attwood, ’29, are highly valued by the mem- bers of the faculty who have re- ceived them. that are used to death by metal: writers, but a new, dymanie set. of them. The tale range from the dance hall fight of the drunken. lumber— iacks to a race between two side— wheelers, the pilots of which are of the tribe of river—smellezs. Tease men steer by smelling the rocks and bars, as contrasted to the river- hearers, who can hear the rocks. and bars. Enough to tempt anyone from a dry dose of homework. It is appropriate to say a few words about the older book. “Farsi Bunyan." Anyone interested in log- ging, or the North Woods has, no doubt, heard of the fifty—foot ing- ger and his blue ox, Babe. Stereos has collected these tales and formed a book that follows the trials and tribulations of the logger. In all his writings, Stevens Ee— sorts to a most subtle irony. Though he never brings the issue out pelts — blank, many of his writings, par— ticularly his magazine article... are ironic farces against some popular issue, as prohibition, or the e..- anti—cigarette law in Kansas. The Anti—Saloon league was ridiculed most effectively in a sketch called, “The Shaggybears and the Guzzle- nots,” in which the characters are all animals personified I have rarely enjoyed a bit of writing more. “Homer in the Sagebrush” can be obtained in the Chicago Public Li‘ brary or its branches as a seven- day book. ——A. 5.. Students at the Univera‘t‘y of Kentucky have taken the enforce— ment of the Volstead Act at their university into their own hands. Any student caught drinking at a dance, social, or any other affair dealing with campus life, is brought before the Men’s Student Council and tried. If found guilty the of- fender may be shipped. The move- ment on the part of the students has just about put an and to aii drinking at the University of Sen- tacky. BROADW’AY nnd FIFTH—Gary MARION nrul LAKE—(hi; Purl: desire so much. as good as “Varsity.“ Eiack iiihifilflhb titan A Young [Harris Oxford a? 4: Huang film's Fin-:52 “ ARSITY” has that bold ireedom~that cer- tain, sure University spirit that Young Ellen The moderate broad toe and. fullness through the body of the shoe and so 1 ankle make for comfort and ease. consider the quality. 33? is very little for an ’3 . :1:ka FLEGB Q‘RRINGTON 13nd CHURCH—Evanstma us When i. a Qafd {Ether Lyman Spring @xferds Séi to $5 l