W‘ . guitar Page Two 4 - - wa _ w- .hiifltlhlflllld ll Refill liifi‘lllll‘l Student Publication of the ARMOUR lNSTlTUTE OF TECHNOLOGY CHlCAGO, lLLlNOlS Published Weekly During- ‘Lhc College Year EDITORIAL STAFF John llommes, ’29 “red B. Farrell, ’29 David T. Smith, '30 .Charlen E. Morris, '30 Walter J. Ehrmeyer, "29 ...John E. Taiman, ’30 .Vcrnon A. Sturm, ’30 Editorvin-Chief . Desk Editor ..... News Editor .......... Department Edito Assistant Social Editor Assi‘tant Athletic Editoi .John P. Edstmnd, ’29 Assistant .Waltor Parndzinski, ’30 (Not yet chosen) .Joei M. Jacobson, ’29 .................,.l’rofessor Walter Hendricks CONTRIBUTORS J. H. Ashenhnrst, Fred A. Atwood, A. B. Aucrhach, L. W. Booker, Joseph Boula, Hal Burnett, E. W. Carlson, W. Edmonds, Frank M. James, F. W. McCloska, H. .J. Monger, S. S. Pulaski, H. P. Richter, W. H. Rudolf, R. F. Stellar, Vernon Storm, Max Schinke, H. W. Yount. BUSlNESS STAFF J h S .29 ' ‘ 5 Men er.... .Russell E. o n" on, . [Biggie ...... fig ..... .Thomas R. O’Malley, ’30 Advertising Manage Stanley A. Bcatty, ’30 Assistants..Morris 0. Nelson, ’3 Wilbert B. Dcering, ’30 Circulation Manager .John W. Gamble, ’29 Assistant John E. Barman, ’29 Exchanges . .D. R. Goren, 30 Vol. II. N“ 7 Humor Editor. Feature Writer Faculty Adviser... NOVEMBER 1, 1928 HE JESTS AT SCARS THAT NEVER FELT A. WOUND —Shakespeure. 0W Little Suwrise Today we present to our subscribers a six-column sheet instead of a five. We take pride in this achievement. We will endeavor to continue the publication of the NEWS in six~column form for the rest of the year. This issue is but the twelfth to appear on the Campus. When it was founded in the middle of last semester, it was skepticully looked upon as an experiment which would prove impractical. The opposite has proven to be the truth. It has found its place in student life, fulfilling a long-felt need. Its success has been due mainly to the whole-hearted support it has received from the students and the faculty. This support from the students has not only been in a financial way, by subscription, but also in the form of service on the staff. In response to this approbation on the part of the stu— dents, we offer this expanded size. We believe a school the size of Armour deserves something; bettr than a five column sheet. We regret that as yet We cannot give it an eight-column eigh'tvpage newspaper. The staff feels assured that whole-hearted backing of the student body, which to date has been such a vital fac- tor in the success 01‘ the NEWS, will continue unabated. Voile? Tuesday the nation will choose a new president. This is one of the most important events in our national life. On our decision as citizens Tuesday will depend the des- tiny of our country‘s history for the next four years. Closely linked with the future of. our nation is the future of ourselves as professional men. Surely this is no small matter. Whatever else you do, vote next Tuesday. You’ll have plenty of time. Remind others to vote. As long as the citizens of this great nation continue to use to advantuge their inalienable right to vote, there is no danger that this great democracy of ours will degenerate into an op pressional rule of the minority. Vote Tuesday! ‘. Savoring You Wiih Vinegar Ever been to a movie? Ever see a really great movie, one intended to impress you deeply, and which did; (me of the kind such as “Ten Commandments,” “Ben Eur,” ”Birth of a Nation,” which are masterpieces of screen drama? Ever had this experience, that, just as the pic— ture ended, and you put your head down for a moment‘ to let the true import of the production make a more lastw ing impression, the orchestra sailed shriekingly into the very vilest of jazz creatio , ' rring all meditation out of your mind, so that you felt like fighting the whole man— ugemcnt? We feel sure that you've had that experience. Ever go to the student ltsseinblicsl? Ever listen with rapt attention to some of the notables who have spoken from the platform. in Armour Mission, so that you have really become absorbed in their message, fascinated by their eulogy on Lincoln, Lhri ed by their account of the magnitude ot‘ the war, awed 1y their stories of goat men? liver feel, just as the speaker finishes, that you’ve listened to a truly great man, and arc better off for the words he said, whom—when all of a sudden the cheer leader jumps to his feet. and at the top of his voice, utters a harsh command, “Come on, now follows, let’s give u YEAH RATBBONE, "sEAl-l STAGG, all together, one, two—e, three—m," so that you felt like chucking him out Of the window? VVe'W: certain you’ve. 0 had that experience. A politician thinks of the next election; a statesman, of the next generation. o—elarncs Freeman Clarke. You have achieved the crown of all honors, u triumphi the greatest generals may envy; for it is u nobler thing to remove the barriers of intellectual llfu than to extend the boundaries of the empire. A Caesar’s tribute to Cicero. ARMOUR TECEK NEWS :7.“ “THE.” gillll‘z’fllllfllm :3 Gloom» to “The Slipntich”; let the Simplified: “37 where it mew . . m u;=*20~:m fa Famous Feature New. 2 (A private interview with Vernet Poupitch by the I. R, wInquiring Reporter.) ‘ It was two years ago That Poupitch met his woe. He took up Physics I And then Poupitch was done. We say with and remorse That Poupitch flunked the course And this became the source Of Poupitch's use of force. A boxer he became, And one of noted fame; Trembling at his own name. But be was ne’er the same Since he took the noted bane 0f Physics. What a shame! All challengers he did defeat, But there was one he feared to meet, The one on whom revenge was sweet, The one for whom he trained to beat; The one with whom his mind was fraught, The one who held his every thought, This is what the l. R. sought-— POUPITCH FEARS WILCOX! =3 ‘l’r >l< The only thing that can make a freshman think fast on his feet is a cafeteria. in * >i< Scene: Man speeding to beat train at grade crossing. Voice 1: Didja get across? Voice II: No, but I will as soon as the utonecutter gets through. 4! >61 at Physics Bore: Say, look here, it says that liquid hy» drogen is 258 degrees below zero. Stude: That’s nothing; you should have been in my room when I told the landlady I couldn’t pay the rent. w v w She was good looking and had a fine shape. They told me she was fast, and she was. But just the same, I liked her. She never smoked and in times of need she was a good pal. She was never painted in a vulgar way, just a bit of color here and there to give her a sparkling up pearancc. She was easy 9!! your pocketbook and when you took her out you were sure of a good time. But l traded her in and bought a new LaSallc. Vi< $ $ There was a young freshman named Blaine Whose ego was certainly plain, lie jostled his way Thru some sophs one day»— ‘l‘here WAS a young freshman named Blaine. * 4a l 50 DOES l-lE After looking over the lust exam, Prof. Spencer an~ nounced that we were lacking- suflicicnt knowledge in review algebra, college algebra, elementary geometry, analytical geometry, bhysics, and mechanics. Wonder what we do know? “'“Ja El. Al W fll “Did you hear the latest Scotch joke? It seems that Mac—-" “Stop! I won’t listen. Some of my very closest friends are Scotch.” m 1k v Prof. Leigh: “I hear you’re taking up golf.” Studc: ”Yes, I made an 81 yesterday.” “That’s fine. It takes a fairly good player to make an 81.” “You know, I even think l can do better. I‘m going out tomorrow and. try the second hole.” ill (a ‘ That reminds us of the fellow who, when we asked him if he played golf said that he didn’t, but he was never going to give up trying. 3‘ ’t“ CEECAGO “Wasn‘t Dugo Mike elected?” “Naw. both of our machine guns jammed.” —rli‘reddie. ’3 1‘1! H" A fellow in our neighborhood dreamt he was eating Shredded Wheat, and, would you believe it, when he woke up half the maLtress was gone. ”Freddie. “it '1'» It seeing that Al Smith had gotten far up in the north woods before he discovered that he had forgotten his gun. Telephoning back from a nearby rangcr’s cabin the fol- lowing monologue ensued: “Say, send 21 fellow right up here with my gun! not gum, GUN. “ "' for January, “U" for euphony, and “N” for pneumonia." I~F.B.A. ~. i. Pledge. to haughty Senior: “Please, sir, do you drink caii'ee?” Same Senior: “Certainly, you don’t think I chew it, do you?” 7.. :1. 4. Dear mi: eDitor, I cum from out. wEst went the cowboys R and l wanna say that i think that you did me ronu‘ in yer straw VotE. i couldnt finD my candiDates name on yer ballOt and i wanta. protest. Wliyincll woont will i‘Ogers name on the bulIdT. Dontya no he is the great anti—bunk cundidntc‘.’ I heard the compign sl‘eechs on my rnydio and he never hub a cliuncc in we: voting. Think o'l'. his sLoggAu (Arid roe. ’52: what 2.- ' ell man he is: We wzmT a president, he sex, that can he intentionally funny. Hopping to see you rite this error. I is, ~Wcst‘i‘lruel‘. l A criminnl and his money are soon pardoned. l‘ Five more dz 3 and than, liullolujnh, the radio cam he with {wrioct assurlmcc that no polisicul [turned on speeches are on cute. Whooyce. "w; . ., or a . The inquiring idehosrizer Question: "but do you think oil” Dean Penn’s explanation of the: credi- ifi system an applied to Physics? A. R. W’ojcionzuh, TM: 3 agree with his idea that the time given to do an experiment is enough, but I don't think that there is sufficient time for the organization of the. work to be done before going to the lab, oratory. H. Berger, ’31: It sounds logical and I think you have enough time for outside written reports. lumen Filmer, ’El: Some of the Juniors and Seniors are still doing their Sophomore laboratory work. it’s a very depressing outlook tor a Soph— omore. A discouraged man does poor work. W‘. Pemfolcl, '3l: 1 think that the average student is not able to do the work in the required time. E think that less work or more credit would make it satisfactory. E. S. Won-near, ’1”: The average student is taken to be of a type that is really above the average. If a time average was taken, it would be. found that the work in too difficult. P. Ermine, ’31:: 1 am fully satisfied. The extra laboratory periods at the end will moire up for time lost earlier. William Drigot, ”3H: 1 must be dumb, because I can’t do it in the maximum of time. I must be way below the average student. .l. Bowman, Jan, ”351: As far as the amount of credit you get for the work. you do, it’s all right, but doing the work in the required amount of time is another matter. 5. H. fifia'enlzerg, fill: in order to write up an experiment, l have to spend at least three hours. A pre» liminary takes one hour or more. to do thoroughly in order to understand the experiment. l’ve already encoum tered several experiments that took more than three hours in the lobera» tory. I think that the average ex— periment takes one and a half pc— riodst A. ‘W'inihlur, Til: It's all right; if your laboratory doesn’t come on a holiday. Otherwise, you will not got the full sixteen periods. it. llurno,’Zd,Tellu1lio of Viinylhono Develomnont With one hundred and ten present; including” all of the professors of the Electrical Engineering Department, the A. I. E. E. kept up its good nt— tendance record at a meeting held last Monday, October 29, in Science Hall. Mr. Robert Burne, the speak ‘ of the day, was introduced by R. J. Gucnther. chairman of the Program Committee. Mr. Burns is a graduate of the class of 1024 in the Electrical Engineering course. After leaving Armour he entered the employ of Warner Bros., putting in Vitaphone and Movietone sets throughout the country. At present he is working at Marks Bros. Granada Theatre which is located on the north side. Mr. Burns’ topic, “Moviotone,” was illustrated with slides. The ucv conipunying of sound with movies has been a fact since the beginning of the motion picture industry, but was not made zz succesg until lately. Mr. Burns attributed the old phonograph and the inefficient amplifiers I‘m: the early “s“uawliie” failures. In the first attempts it was entirely up to the operator to keep film and sound together. If the film got ahead of the sound or vise. versa it was his duty to advance or retard the film or sound speed until the two were working ti Some theatres de~ veloped an elaborate system of lights to give the operator the necessary in- formation regarding the speed 053 the talking outfit. Today the rate of pro. jection end the rate of reproduction are direct‘“ connected with ouch oth— or a min as: the human agency. The slides showed hook-ups of var“ ious moviczoue sets which he c — rammed very thoroughly. Ono pic‘ ture showed that the needle on the moviotone record moved from the inside out toward the edge instead of out from the outside in as on the . homo uhooo livery no one to thy-co complex ems mounted ‘~ . the gem-p so of outbox.» i. current events. invited the the Gran on true in; all in cl Sonic» side. 1‘ t‘l}. 0‘67“} ’39,” .. V ”_ ,- ,_ ole humor Koo anyone noticed any change in the weather? Huh? it looks like old men Jack Frost is back on the job once more, doesn’t it? Soon. it will be the season for red ears, £30.? on noses, and numb—skulls, for days and nights are growing colder, but don't forget that one night amongst the coming ones will be red hot. That is the night of Nov. 16 when the Sen— ior Class of ’29 presents to you Zez Confrey and his Very heated band to supply the warmth for the evening. The song says “Just a night for Med- itation,” but we know it will be “Just a. night for Rejuvenation." Tired students are bound to lose that. tired tooling when Zcz starts making those ivories do calesthenics, and wrinkles, due to “Gale" and “Chem” ought to pass completely out of the picture. There will be the “Armour Fight Song” and other college songs. AL so, for your entertainment, there wili be special exhibition dancing by e. lltlfilildile Soul? o‘“ {£3537 " .m. loco Kite ’ ”Ti?“ rho new i? ‘3‘ about the e; Where w . . l loud "lint. Still ii iii W. ii wt}. Chaycrooee will he Dean and 355.183.157.‘ , and tire. Peon, Prof. and "2:522. Re i and Mr. and him. fiolzow. Tide informal dance mil; be Elia". be given by the J , institute. ‘E‘hroughmzi the {zest lie: dances, and this; year hopes to climax its achievements by gu'izizg a dance just a bit. better than the othcm—e one to be long remembered- ‘b-y ell who attend. This can only be come .. plished through the hasty co—opere» tion of all Armour stude‘ute. Bow“; forget that the minobfliiimgo gems- Will be played Nov. 3.7, the day saith: the dance; invite your friends confine: up‘ to, Chicago for-”the game elm to take in our dance. 01:: friends :2 at Northwestern are esoeofially in» ‘ ,. Woodhull 1... lilo: why @Kaly’llllllflfil ti o ore STATE and JACKSQldv—fihicngo Evanseon Ca]! 55:1. -. “ill. ddfidfi’ vited. :3 F 935: Pal-i: glittery in lei. airy Brand if; 35$ 99,. 514?: