Page Two aeration their news Student Publication of the ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY CHICAGO, lLLlNOlS Published Weekly During the College Year EDITORIAL STAFF Editor-in-Chicf ................ Desk Editor. News Editor.. Department Editor Assistant ...... Social Editor Athletic Editor.. Humor Editor... Feature Writer Faculty Adviser... ....John Hommes, ’29 ..Fred B. Farrell, ’29 ..David T. Smith, ’30 .Charles E. Morris, ’30 ...Walter J. Ehrmeyer, ’29 ...John E. Tarman, ’30 .John P. Edatrand, ’29 ...(Not yet chosen) ...Joel M. Jacobson . rofessor Walter Hendricks CONTRIBUTORS Fred A. Atwood, A. B. Auerbach, A. J. Aukstaitis, L. W. Booker, Frank M. James, S. S. Pulaski, H. P. Richter, W. H. Rudolf, S. B. Scavuzzo, R. F. Stellar, Max Schinke, H. W. Yount. BUSINESS STAFF Business Manager.... Russell E. Johnson, '29 Assistant .............. omas R. O’Malley, ’30 Advertising Manage ...Stanley A. Beatty, ’30 Assistants..Morris 0. Nelson, ’30; Wilbert B. Deering, ’30 Circulation Manager ........................ Preston E. Heath, ’30 Assistant ...... John W. Gamble, ’29 Exchanges .. . Garen, ’30 Vol. 11. OCTOBER 4, 1928 No. 3 Armour’s Full Vaudeville Armour Tech’s annual vaudeville shows are rapidly nearing the completion of another very successful run. Four major spectacular performances have been com- pleted, three of which proved so popular that continu- ances were demanded; four hilarious audiences have pro- claimed the recent shows unparalled in the school’s his— tory. . your,» The central theme of each entertainment was an elec~ tion. And the actors performed so marvelously and so true to life, that a few of the more serious—minded on each occasion got the impression that an actual election was taking place. Every actor knew his part perfectly; not one spoke out of turn. It is regrettable that the managers did not provide suitable costumes for their employees, say those of ARMOUR linear news fir. Saharan Visits Elena Mania Abroad Dr. George L. Scherger spent the summer in Europe, landing in Oslo, Norway, and returning by way of Liverpool and the St. Lawrence to Montreal. He visited thirteen differ— ent countries, gathering: impressions at first hand of conditions and study- ing the cultural treasures of the great art centers of the Old World. Dr. Scherger was particularly im- pressed with the wonderful progress that has been made in Italy and Ger»- many since his visit a year ago. He feels as much at home in European capitals like London, Rome, Florence, and Berlin, as he does in Chicago. No doubt the material he gathered will be of great interest to his classes and audiences. . Professor Scherger visited our former Dean, Professor Louis C. Mo- nin at Zurich, Switzerland, and trans— mits Dean Monin’s greetings to all his friends. Prof. Grifi‘i’t‘h’s Floating Stone Looks Very Fishy Professor J. R. Griffith attempted a little demonstration of volume dis- placement last Monday to the sure prise of his spectators. Having been asked for a contribution to the News, he thought a while, and presently a condescending smile spread over his face. He walked into his office and came out with something carefully hidden in his hand, then he obtained a cup of water and placed it in front of him. He opened his hand and held up a stone. This was magnanimously dropped into the cup of water,—~but, dammit, the fool thing didn’t sink. Yep, the stone can be seen by the in- credulous, if Professor Griffith can be induced to show it promiscuously to clowns. This would have made their triumph ,‘ Then, as their acts proceeded, and their characters were duly elected, we could see them garbed as they should be, and could then enjoy the joke Without restraint. But, of course, that is expecting a great deal from the man- agement, for, as you know, no admission was charged at any of the performances. A few dissenting remarks have been voiced, however, not on the technique of the performaM which all ad- mitted was perfect, but on the choice or subject. These critics argued that, in choosing for their theme an elec— tion, the dramatists are guilty of a plagiarism, since they are copying direct from our city and state politicians. The dissenters suggest that the vaudeville directors be more original. While we agree with these contentions to a certain ex- tent, we doubt if the suggestion will have any effect on our erstwhile entertainers, since they have found the election racket to be the most profitable. Strangely, and unfortunately, the several class groups have decided to retain in office the men who were so clownishly elected. In so doing, they are certainly cheap“ ening the positions of class officers, until they are even now well‘nigh meaningless. Yet it is true that these very officers, elected on such an unrepresentative basis, will brazenly continue to appear before their class meetings, innocently believing themselves to be held in high and unrestricted popular esteem. What sad delusions! @ur Gum Prohibition Enforcement There has always been an unwritten law at Armour to the effect that smoking in the buildings and near the front entrance to the Main building is taboo. The “law” is usually explained to the students upon their entry as freshmen, and from then on they are expected to remem— ber it. By the time that they are juniors and seniors, many of the students have either forgotten ever being: forbidden to do so, or they think that they now have acquired “sufiieient drag to get by with it.” In any event, there is a growing number of offenders who insist on gracing the Main entrance with their smoking persons. The nat— ural result is an accumulation of cigaret stubs in the vicinity, not to speak of the unfavorable impression which the sight of several inhaling idlers makes upon visitors. As has been intimated, these “law~breakcrs” are most- ly upper—elassmen. Since the seniors are soon to be dis— tinguished by jackets, they have especial cause to guard their actions lest the freshmen, in mimicking fashion, innocently follow suit, and. cause complete breakdown of the ruling. With so negligible a number of rules of student con‘ duct as exists at Armour, it should not be necessary to carry on any active police duty. We hope that the Deans‘ oilice is not compelled to pass a Volstead Act of its own in order to enforce this unwritten statute. their curiosity. i Mi till". This column is (Ed. Note: open to opinions of any stu- dents who care to write a signed letter. No anonymous mail will be honored, but the name of the writer may be omitted in the NEWS if so sired. Articles may be on any topic, but should be lim- ited in length to 200 words.) To the Editor: Could the support of the NEWS he enlisted in obtaining a day off on November 6’? This is election day and 10,000 workers will be drafted by Judge Jareeki to watch the polls at ten dollars a throw. Any student will admit that ten dolars for such a day’s work is not disagreeable to accept, but such will probably not be the case in event there are classes on that day. The Chicago Tribune a few weeks ago printed an edito- rial suggesting to Judge Jarecki that college students be given the oppore tunity to work on election day and earn a little money. But the college students are out of luck if they don’t get the day ofi‘. How about the NEWS “talking it up”? Can never tell what might happen. —Te-n Spot. To the Editor: Making a credit equivalent to the grade of C seems rather unfair to me. Why should a student’s average suffer just because he has had some required work and gets credit for it? There is the point of View of the student who has transferred from another college. Armour is a good school, but there are also many other good schools that have just as high scholastic standing. Why count in these credits when determining a student’s average? That average, when computed, is certainly not a record of his work at Armour. I think a modification of this severe and unjust rule should be made. »~A Sufi'erer. l THE. ENQUERHNQ REPQRTER Question: How do you like morn- ing shops and afternoon clashes? E. L. Curries, '32, C. Ed Morning shops offer an outlet for the surplus energy that has a tendency to make a student restless during the day and take his mind off of his studies. With this energy worked all he can apply his mind to his studies much better. C. N. Pannon, ’32, M. 13.: Morning shops have many disadvantages for the student, but are an advantage for the Institute. Not only does it “de- energize" a person but we must re- main dirty throughout the day. However, since we need more class room, and shops in the morning give more, I suppose there is an advan- tage in the end as smaller classes are available. 0. E. Wielanc‘l, ”32, M. ill: Morn- ing shops take all the energy out of a person, so that when he must apply himself to his studies in the after- noon he has no more pep, or rather less than if he would not have had a shop. l... Majewslui, ’32, C. E”: By taking shops in the morning: one has a chance to become thoroughly awake; it also affords some time for one to finish the homework left over from the night before. The shop affords a means to get rid of the tired restless feeling, and aids the student with a fresh mind for his afternoon tasks. .l. U). Cavanagh, ’32, Ch. E: For my part, I would rather have shops in the afternoon. person feels fresh and is able to think much better for his classes. If the morning is spent in shops, he be» gins to feel rather drowsy around 3 or 4 o’clock. Amends, ’32, F. P. En Well, that verse in the Slipstick last week about core sand down your shirt expresses my sentiments exactly. Darn ill/bite, ’32, M. Ea Morning“ classes are no good. They steal the best time of day for laboring pur- poses, and leave us spend the sleepy afternoons i-n stuffy class rooms try— ing to absorb our deeper studies. ASJSlSTANT LlBRARlAN llLlL Mrs. E. 0. Smith, assistant librar— ian in the Armour Institute Library since September, 1928, has been ill for the past two weeks, and is at present under observation at a sani- tarium at Cleveland, Ohio. Her place is being taken by Mrs. M. H. Dickerson, previously of Evan— ston Township High School Library. New blames Added To Sub. List; Drive Closed a Since last week a few stragglzrs have run in under the subscription deadline. The campaign is now defi- nitely closed to the students. Fac— ulty subscriptions will be taken for the remainder of the week, since they were not solicited until last Friday. Following are the remaining stu— dents: Banta Levin Boula. Lutz Briggs McLane Christiansen Missner "Dean Olsen De Rycke Reichle Durrant Schinke Ehrmeyer Setterherg Falconer Sitzler R. Goldsborougli Smith, G. H. Haegele Stebbins Haws: Steel: Hill Swanson Hillam Tayama Horras Taylor Jillson ’l‘lieedo Kat: Turk Klopp “Vere Kohout Watson Leardi Zane In the morning a . .2: 4 “W955 3%l?§§l€l 9* 3:: Cleave to “The Slipaticls”; let the Slapstick fly where it may. ' : liege lo @perute a blade Elsie in Four flips ‘ Prof. Noah Webster defines the slide rule as follows; Slide—derived from the Egyptian Cleopatra—to slip, mto glide, to pass smoothly. ' Rule—{Ancient Hebrew) an instrument, a rude DEC“? ass or operation. Hence, slide—rule, an instrument used to pass a course smoothly by a rude process. A slide rule is something like a woman. It is slippery and no one ever learns to manage one. It has a variety of figures which are more or less true. Its beauty is only ’ skin deep, but, like the girls at a dance, it has Sines on its back. Men are crazy until they get one, and after, they get it theywish they had saved their money. Slip inabtaining a Slide Rule In order to impress your friends and your girl that you are really an engineer, determine to secure a good rule; Get one, either buy it or find it, with as many numbers and scales as possible. The more scales it has the greater the impression. Get a magnifying glass on the slide'by, all means. Your errors will be more accurate. ' Slip [Iv—Carrying a Slide Rule » On first obtaining a slide rule, print your name, ad- dress, telephone number, honie address, and reward of- fered. Take the rule with you everywhere. Wear it in the right coat pocket exposed to full View. Slip Ill—Fundamental Relations Remove the slide rule from the case. Remove slide: and let drop easily from a height of ten feet on some thing hard, such as iron or concrete. Buy a new slide:- and place a standing order for one per week. Work. the inside scale up and down the rule until it moves easily from one mark to another. If the rule sticks, Whittle elf about half an inch and try again. Slip lV—Relalfiions-—Confinued Take some simple numbers, as two, ten, seven, eleven, etc., which you know are right. Follow directions closely. Place the slider and slide over the some number on the lower. scale. This takes time to learn and must be learned thoroughly. Now, if you wish to multiply two by three, place the glass slider over three on some other scale.“ Look on one of the scales and read your answer. If you find that somewhere along the line you find a six, repeat until the result is 5.95 or nearly that. A little practice . such as this will soon wreck your arithmetic, but you, don’t need it, anyway. Now that you have learned the principles, the. next important thing is the decimal point. Use this method in finding the point. If your grand-1 after the second figure, but if the moon is made of green cheese place the point after the fifth figure. in any case you will be wrong and will have to check it with long hand. a: s 2;: day looking for “Big Bill’ Brady. They wanted some advance betting “info,” having learned that B. B. B. had picked all the winners in the recent senior election. 9.: Packer Brown: “Do you think you are as good look- ing as I am?” ‘ Bill Berry: “Why, sure I” P. 13.: “Well, you’re conceited i” D. d: ’5 It Horras: “Put a guest towel in the bathroom.” Kutterufl’: “What do you mean by a guest towel?” Horras: “A clean towel, sap!" 1‘ >9“ >1: Cooper: “Do you like Shakespeare’s work?” Bill: “Where does he work?” S * I?- 31‘» Calvert: “I believe that you might tall; more intelli— . gently if you had more sleep before coming to this class.” Timmermans: “But you see I have only one class before this.” ‘ 3; lit a; all Higgins: “I’d have gotten here sooner. but my car broke down.” Serson; “Tire trouble?” Higgins: “No; I think they said it was the trolley. I a Those that flunk their condition exams next week should remember that. after all. a zero is nothing. ‘3? Prof. Scherger (addressing prospective group of states men): “I want you to get out of this course in public speaking just as much as you can." as s Sing a song of coliitch dose, A beer stein full of water: Along comes the election craze—v. 0h, ma! Can I be social chair—ins: ‘3 ——S,um dun; fresh. :s S :2 NQTECE Chicago politicians wishing to learn modern mettle s of ballot striding. etc. are asked to co :municst-e will: the sophomore class. A. l. ’l‘. Reasonable rates; sums»: guaranteed . fig. 45'“: mother married your grandfather in 1842, place the point ‘ Some big hay and horse men were around the other A .