”f. . Page Two ARMOUR TECH NE‘NS ARMQUR TECH NEWS Student Publication of the ARMOUR INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY amour; 1,, “9’ “a... «£5,» :5“ s“ E a?“ '3 CHICAGO, lLLlNOlS Published Weekly During the College Year EDITORlAL STAFF ...John Hommes, ’29 Fred B. Farrell, ’29 .David T. Smith, ’80 Charles E. Morris, ’30 Walter J. Ehrmeyer, ’ 9 .....lohn E. Tarman, ’30 ..... Vernon A. Sturm, ’30 Editor-in-Chief ........................ Desk Edito ‘ News Editor. Department Editor. Assistant .............. Social Editor NJ Assistant .. 1 Athletic Editor .John P. Edstrand, Jr., 29 Assistant .Chester Stempkowski, ’32 ..A. B. Auerbach, ’31 ..Joel M: Jacobson, '29 rofessor Walter Hendricks Humor Editor Feature Writer. Faculty Adviser CONTRlBUTORS J. H. Ashenhurst, Fred A. Atwood, A. B. Auerbach, L. W. Booker, E. W. Carlson, W. Edmonds, Frank M. James, F. W. McCloska, H. J_ Monger, W. Paradzinski, S. S. Pulaski, H. P. Richter, O. R. Stcinert, R. F. Stellar, Vernon A. Sturm, Max Schinke, John Yount. BUSlNESS STAFF ...Russell E. Johnson, ’29 Assistant Thomas R. O’Malley, ’30 Advertising Manager ............... ....Stan1ey A. Beatty, ’30 Assistants..Morris 0. Nelson, ’30 Wilbert B. Deering, ’30 Circulation Manager. John W. Gamble, '29 Assistant... ..... . ........ John E. Barman, ’29 Exchanges ............................ D. R. Garen, 30 Business Manager Vol. 11. DECEMBER 20, 1928 No. 13 FOR UNTO YOU lS BORN THIS DAY IN THE CITY OF DAVID A SAVIOUR, WHO IS CHRIST THE LORD. wLukc 2:11. Greetings The stafi‘ of the ARMOUR TECH NEWS unites in wishing the faculty, the students, and the alumni of Armour Tech a very merry Christmas and a happy New Year. 0n: Eligibility of (Class @l’i‘ioers As an aftermath to the class election fracas early in the semester, we are hearing howls of protest on many sides from seniors who are distressed with a new phase of the class election controversy The cause of the rum- pus now seems to be the scholastic status of the vice- president of the senior class, who it is said, will not grad- uate in June. Demands have been made on the NEWS that it should take a definite stand on the matter. In answer to these worried seniors, we do not feel that it comes within the scope of our editorial policy to make. any demand for action on this question. To our minds. it is a matter of business to the senior class only. As We recall, the election proceeded in perfectly legal fashion, as far as class elections go. The officer in question was even elected by a considerabe majority. Evidently the seniors were perfectly satisfied at that time to have as an ofiicer one who was not to graduate with their num- her. If the majority given to that candidate at the time was because of a lack of information regarding his possible eligibility for office, then again the blame falls to the senior class and no one else. They should give more strict attention to what they are doing, so that they Won’t have any cause to regret any action later on. No cons stitution or by—laWS were read at the meeting. Further more, as far as we know, the by—laws contain no detailed eligibility rules for vice~presldent. Still worse, so far as we know the class has no constitution or by-laws. Under such conditions it is to be expected that irregu- larities from rules of Order will occur. If the class is particulnrly fussy about the eligibility of their executives, it may as well curry the matter to its logical conclusion by barring February, 1930, graduates from serving on the class committee. Again we wish it made clear that it is none of our business. If the contingency deserved attention, it should be brought up as regular business at a meeting of the class. When a true genius appears in this world you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in con- l'cdcrncy against him. —Swi‘l‘t. SYMPATHY As spokesman for the student body. we wish to extend 9"» S 2:: “Tim dilllldlllfli” 2: lg l Cleave to ”The Slipatich”; let the Slnpnticl: fly where it may. In answer to those who vainly sought the humor in the title poem last week, may we say there was none; but a canny contrib has pointed out that a little mis- reading will easily convert the thing into a poem fit to be classed as the student’s epic, or the answer to the great question of ”Why Study?” ix 15‘ 'U Think-——and Lona If you think—you are beaten-«you are; If you thinkuyou dare not—you don’t; If you like to win, but think—you can’t It’s almost a cinch you won't. If you think—you’ll lose—you're lost; If you think——you’re outclassedwyou are; if you thinl:»—don’t—~think whet ’twill cost ‘ It’s almost a cinch you won't. “C. B. in. e Here's the Dirt Coved No. 1: Oh, look, the players are all covered with mud. How will they ever get it oil”? Co-ed No. 2: Say, what do you think the scrub team is (or? ——Frcddie. u- w ,, ninety of divilizntion i. (As it probably actually happened.) Eve’s faith in Adam's omniscience was beginning to wane. Things got that way, even in Eden. “Yesterday you told me that animal was an antelope. Today you say it’s a girafie. What’s the big idea?” “It was an antelope yesterday," Adam defended him- self. “Didn’t you ever hear of evolution?" a: s a. Tempua Fugit Dad: So you sent your son to Armour? doing there‘.’ Other Dad: Ageing. 9. What is he a. A brief week or so ago the Tribune, our esteemed con- temporary, ran a little item announcing that the chem~ ists have succeeded in producing artificial lemonade. In the near future one will probably step forward to the counter and, taking a deep breath, ask for a glass of XYLOTRIHYDROGLUTARIC ACID. 1% ’l‘ * Snippyahots Steinert: May I have the last dance with you? She, It, or What Have You: You've just had it. n-llreddie. v. w av “Hold Everythingl" ’Tis the last day of classes Of nineteen~twenty~eight, And no more goll-dinged homework Until some future date. Two weeks’ vacation, gee! With Christmas mixed between, Calls for heavy concentration Upon my sheba queen. The least’s been said, but anyway I’d like to meet the one Who said there ain‘t no Santa Claus, l’d knock him down, by gum! #17. F. S. n. a: it Miss Steele recommends that to distinguish between a professor and a student, merely give him a book. If one reads it, he‘s the professor; if he merely writes his name in it, he’s the student. ' . l. s A Very Short Play in One Act Scene: Any fraternity house on Michigan Avenue. First Collegian: Well, how do you like my new shirt, now that you’ve been wearing it all day? Second Collegian: Oh, it‘s all right, but the cuffs don’t take ink very well. Curtain falls with a rush. * ’l‘ 1‘ ?roerastinution Prof. Haggard: Young man, I'll teach you to sleep thru my lectures. Stude: You’re too late, professor. I‘ve learned al— ready. “ * x xi We are glad to announce that the column has managed to secure permission to publish that famous song known as “Song of the Armour Golf Team. Here goes: Lives of Golfers all remind us We can top and slice and hook, And departing leave behind us Words you won’t find in a book. .. 1: “FIND SIGNS OF LIFE ON VENUS,” Chi. Her. Ex. The lousy things ought to be fumigated. ~~J.E.B. v. >(< The students at the U. of C. are reported to be going around moaning and wailing since the school has closed and thus eliminated finals. Echo: Why did I wants be on engineer instead of a lawyer. a v t , Confidence in Supreme Surgeon (to attendant): Go and get the name of the accident victim so that we can inform his mother. Attendant (later) : He says his mother knows his name. e s i. I’ve got it all planned out. Monday, Dec. 24 I'm go~ to Lawrence A. Scully, M, ii. ’25), our deepest sympathy ing to set my alarm clock for sixthirty, and when the on the occasion of the tragic, though heroic, death of his father, who. in the face of violence and death from or— ganized icrrori : ditch for (he pr law, and order. darn thing goo cession, a ploy s ofi‘ I’m going to hurl at it, in rapid suc— cs book, a culc book, and several other had the courage to fight to the last tomes, and make a series oi faces, whereupon I shall rvation o' the principles of jusl.ice,lutter several uncomplimentury phrases. and proceed to [knock off four more hours. “Ail. . shops. illicit Tiiteviews By JOEL M. JACOBSON, ’29 “Dear Elrusus," by James Barrie. No matter what one asks of a play, he will find it in “Deer Brutus," play~ ing at the Goodman Theatre this It is labeled comedy but may as well have been called tragedy, drama, or what have you. The main theme is a serious one,—what you would have done with your life if you had another chance. No better, per— haps, as was the case with most of the characters in the play. The com- edy enters only in the smart repar— tec, and in the exaggerated love make ing. The awakening, the discovery that their chance was only a dream, also provides part of the humor which justifies the play’s label. The name is symbolic and comes from a quotation in Shakespeare, “The fault, Dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are failures." We are not what we make ourselves, it is true, but whether or not we would make ourselves dif- ferently if we had a second chance is the problem of the play. James Ber- rie has in no way solved the problem but has merely presented it to us in a way that makes one think seriously about it. The value of such thought is another question. week. “Power," ‘by Leon: Feuchl‘wanger This German author has given us a book which is one of the best of the year. The {utility of power when contrasted with other things in life is the main thesis, the thrill of run» ning things, of being the man who rules the rulers, being clearly prev sented. The story is laid in Germany about the 16th century when the Jewish tradei‘s—~thc Rothschilds, the Oppenheimers, and the Tandauers, controlled the world’s commerce. The Protects inspect lllinois Steel Plant Tuesday afternoon, December 18, the Junior Fire Protecs made an in- spection trip through the mills of the ,lllinois Steel Co., a subsidiary of the 'United States Steel (30., at 915t St. and the lake. Professor John J. Schommer was in charge of the trip. The route included the viewing of blast furnaces, Bessemer converters, open hearth furnaces, special electric furnaces, rolling mills, and machine Thirty students were pres ent, the class containing thirty—five members. Perhaps the most interesting proc- ess was the making of alloy steels. One furnace was tapped for the stu— dents to see it, pouring twenty-five tons of molten chrome-vanadium steel into the ladle. Each furnace had three huge electrodes, with 2400 amperes on each. The largest fur- nace in the place was a huge Besse- mer convertor, which filled a 140 ton ladle at one pouring. Several Armour graduates are em- ployed in the engineering and exec- utive departments of the company. Several Ellen Assist in llisllrilvution at NEW/ill At this time We wish to publicly thank the following men for their work in the circulation department of the paper. By their assistance to John Gamble and John Barman, they have enabled the NEWS to appear on time every issue this semester. The men are: ..l. S. Meek, ‘30 L. W’. Booker. ‘31 A. S. Lenke, '31 Carl H. Johnson. '30 F. W. Suulding, ‘31 S. H. Anderson, ‘32 G. Reichle, '30 A. H. Jens. ‘31 E. J. Wiltmkis, “312. tired oi {Evil illegal. sees in Auto Wrath Mr. Ri‘hard D. Ruddock, C. E” ‘26, of 218 Center Street. Whouton, lllinois, an employee. of the Cook Count}1 fiigfoway Department, was killed in an automobile accident near Juliet, lliinois. on Sunday evening. December 16. Emir. Ruddoclcs' untimc» ly dentin was a s och to his friends lmd i so at the Insti- tute. e . .i'o of the Bolts mi 1} elite c s, . t Containing twelve thousand completed and balanced equations, classified and arranged for ready reference 5% ‘ .» m i 3%: - W's resonances AT LAST~A DICTEONARY ()F illihltllilhh EtlllATllLlhlfi IN THE .. Alllillllh soon Bflillib’l‘illlh Railway Valuation A railroad must do more than pay merely its operating expenses and taxes; it must also earn a. reasonable margin over these payments. This margin, known as “return" or “net railway op— erating income,” should be large enough to take care of current capital expenses, such as rent of leased lines, interest and dividends, besides providing, if possible, a surplus for reinvestment in the property. Although this item of return is one of the smallest that comes out of a rail~ road’s operating revenues, it is the most import- ant, for it is the one which assures the continu— ance of service. The government, besides regulating railway rates, also attempts to regulate return. This end is sought, under the present law, by fixing the relationship which the margin of income above expenses and taxes shall be allowed to bear to some consistent measurement of the value of railway property—in this case, the cur- rent valuation of railway property is deter— mined by the Interstate Commerce Commission. The relationship at present prescribed is 5 3—4 percent. There is no minimum below which earnings may not fail, hence there is no guar- anty; but there is a maximum of 6 percent, above which point excess earnings of an indi~ Vidual road must be divided with the govern- ment. in the eight years since the enactmesnt of the present Transportation Act. railway earnings subject to recapture have been negligible, While the railroads as a whole have lacked approx} mately $1,500,000.006 of earning the fair re» turn to which the interstate Commerce Com. mission has held they are entitled. The basis for the rate of return at present prescribed is a tentative valuation estimate that was made by the Interstate Commerce Commis— sion eight years ago as brought up to date from year to year by the addition of the money in‘ vested since then in property improvements. The work of arriving at a. final valuation figure has been in progress for fifteen years and hes cost to date more than 33.30.088.386. of which the railroads have paid more than filfiQflGGfiGG, and it is not yet complete. Other measures of railway value. not to be confused with the one described above. are the roads own records of the amounts aeetueliy En- vested in their properties. the par “value and the market value of their stocks and bonds and the cost of reproduction less (is clarion. if 213., These five values have no essential releiionshi, to one another. but railway men aspect the: .he government‘s linsl valuation figures will closely approach if not equal the i‘csds’ own figures of property investment 22. id that both will exceed by a considerable ms the latter doeswtlie par value of their stock and 'o ._ Constructive criticism end suggestions 3. . , ~ vited. .J m '3‘... A. fiéflll‘m‘fi, Frcsiéeni. ,. is flamirei Sentient. CEllCAGEl. December ‘1 . 1:338.