it? Page Two ARMQUF: TECH NEWE hfihtwllll YEW-l NEWfi Student Publication of the ARMOUR INSTETUTE 0F TECHNOLOG‘}? CHICAGO, lLLENOlS Published Bi-Weekly During the College Year. Editorial Stall Editor-in—Chief ............ Associate Editor. Humor Editor.. Faculty Adviser.. ...John Hommes .David T. Smith ..Harry P. Eichin .Prof. Walter Hendricks EDITORIAL BOARD Frederick D. Payne Otto R. Bosch John T. Even Harry P. Eichin Walter J. Ze-nncr ASSlSTAN'l‘ EDITORS J. A. Bechtold J. P. Edstrand F. B. Farrell E. W. Short J. E. Tar-man E. B. Ross CONTRIBUTORS C. G. Anderson, A. Auerbach, J. A. Bechtold, E. P. Boynton, M. Coleman, H. Dozois, L. C. Dusbel‘ger, J. C. Edstrand, F. B. Farrell, D. G. Garen, G. A. Gibson, H. E. Goranson, B. W. Hindman, R. E. Johnson, I. G. Katz, J. W. Kramer, R. Kilbourne, C. E. Morris, H. W. Montgomery, C. Olson, W. Paradzinski, K. H. Parker, S. S. Pulaski, E. Ross, S. F. Russukov, C. L. Shabino, E. W. Short, J. G. Sitzler, G. H. Smith, F. Spalding, A. J. Stabovitz, R. F. Stellar, J. E. Turman, R. Timmer- man, D. Urmston, G. H. Von Gehr. Business Stall Acting Manager ...................................... Elmer B. Kepke Assistants— Charles L. Rambolt, Morris Nelson, Stanley A. Beatty, P. E. Heath, R. E. Johnson, T. O'Malley. Vol. 1. April 20, 1928 No. 2 The Armour [Won For about a third of a century, the Armour Institute of Technology has been distinguishing itself in the field of engineering education. Its position today is one dis— tinctly preeminent. During this period, it has been turn- ing outwnot in mill fashion, let it here be said, a product of excellent quality. The name of that product is, fa- miliarly, the ARMOUR MAN. His species has been rap— idly increasing, so that now he may be found in all par-ts of the world, and at works that bring honor to himself and credit to the institution of which he is a graduate. The judgment of that man is sure, his vision broad, his execution decisive. Oddly, too, he is a dreamer. But he is the dreamer whom Thoreau mentions in Walden,—that man who builds castles in the air, where castles belong, who builds at the same time on a firm foundation. He is the pathfinder, the roudmaker, the bridge-builder. And the man and this Institute are inseparably linked. Now, let it not be thought that this is more editorial enthusiasm. These are facts that are being constantly brought home to us. Evidence may be had on every hand. The most recent affirmation is to be found in an invita- tion from the Public Utilities Committee on (lo-operation with Educational Institutions, an invitation extended to members of our Faculty and to our upper classmen to spend as its guests a day of inspection of the great indus— tries,—those vast public utilities this Committee repre— sents, and at its conclusion, a banquet. This invitation has been extended the Armour Institute of Technology because the Committee believes, on cumulative evidence, in the worth of our Institution and its students. If it means anything, it certainly means just that. Here, then, are an opportunity, a rare opportunity, and a responsibility. The ARMOUR MAN is the man who will appreciate both. Good Scholarship Pays? That good scholarship at college is an achievement worth striving for has again been emphasized by an in— vestigation conducted by President Walter S. Gifford of the American Telephone and Telegraph Company. In a survey made upon all the employes of the A. T. & T. (30., Mr. Gifford found it to be an invariable rule that the man who made his mark in college was the man who was mak— ing his mark in business, and conversely, that the men who ranked low in his classes has ranked low since. His findings are based on a study of 3,806 men. of these 1,468 graduated in the middle third of their classes, and the median man’s earnings in this group, by the time he is thirty years out of college, is somewhat less the: two— thirds that of the median man among those in the first tenth of their classes The. men in the highest third of their classes had a cor— respondingly higher average salary, but still not nearly as high as that of the men who were in the first tenth. The 784 men who graduated in the lowest third of their classes have earned by for the least. This investigation simply marks snothev significant proof of a fact long known to be true. If a similar sur- vey should be made upon Armour men, the result would undoubtedly be the some. The student, then, who conscientiously studies and ut~ tains a berth in the upper section of his class is doing of wise thing. The odds are very much in favor of his at- taining: equal success later in his chosen field of work. Q inquising Knowles In order better to express the views of the student body, the News with this issue is featuring an “In— quiring Reporter” column. The ques- tion for this week is: “What in your opinion of the new school paper?” Thomas McArdle, ’31, C. 13.: “It‘s a keen idea, and the first issue sure was 01‘ first class quality. I’m sure the rest of the Freshman class agrees with me in this opinion, too. If the paper had been here last fall it would not have taken as long for some. of us to become acquainted." J. P. Edatrand, ’29, C. E.: “I think it’s the nuts. It's just what we need around here to get a little pep float-v iug around." Professor Bibi), Mathematics De» partment: “In a little school in South Dakota which 1 attended we pub- lished a paper every clay—but that was a bit too often. I think the week— ly idea is just about right for a school of this size. It certainly helps to bring the students and .faculty to- gether. I’m all in favor of it.” .7. E. Higgins, '30, M. 15.: “Oh, it will be all right in time.” George Moore, ’30, F. P. E.: “I believe it to be a very good thing. There shouldn’t be any question of it not beingr a success, especially after everyone has seen how good the first issue was. If high schools have suc~ cessful weekly papers, I’m sure Ar— mour can, and as for circulation, put- ting a lot of personal notes in it al— ways is a big help. After all it is very gratifying to see one‘s name in print.” Professor Paul, Professor of Me— chanics: “The first issue of the Ar— mour' Tech News is one of the clean- est and finest student publications I have ever seen. The stat? is to be congratulated. Keep up the good work.” .l. R. Marcuu. ’29, M. 13.: “So far it seems pretty good. Hope it con— tinues.” Bernard Hun, ’30, E. 13.2 “To tell the truth I haven’t read it yet. You can print anything you want to for me." George L Scherger, Professor of History and Political Science: “My heartiest congratulations to the staff of the ‘Armour Tech Ne‘Ws‘ on the splendid appearance of the first num- ber! It is the equal of any college paper I know of. I sincerely hope that the new venture will meet with the best success. It certainly de- serves the enthusiastic co—operation of every member of the faculty and of the student body. The Alumni likewise will enjoy such a publica- tion. It will prove one of the best means of stimulating pride in our school and if the work is kept up to the high standard set by the first number will reflect great credit on. our institution." .4 moi/mobile Students Visit Service Station On Wednesday, April 11, Prof. Roesch’s classes in automobile engi~ peering were permitted, through the courtesy of Mr. Waterman, to inspect the modern service station of the Oakland Motor 00., located at the corner of Prairie Ave. and 38rd St. Both mechanicals and non~mechan- icals made the trip, which was chief- ly for the purpose of seeing the Cow. drey brake testing and adjusting ap— paratus. This machine is one of the latest tvpes of brake equalizers. For the benefit of the class several new and used cars were demonstrated on this machine. Other parts of the sts~ tion were inspected and modern serv— ice methods explained. The Western Society of Engineers will hold its Spring Smoker at the Delta Tau Delta house on April 25, 1928. at 8 P. M. A. very novel pro« gram has been arranged for it, some.— thing different! “ ’3 Mother Critically H! x, Mrs. Herman H. Becker, 66, step- mother of Professor John J. Schem— mcrr, athletic director, is critically ill at the St. Francis Hospital. She has been sick for the last two years, and for the last six weeks she has grown steadily worse. An operation became imperative, because of her advanced age complications set in, and recov- ery is deemed impossible. Since Pro- fessor Schommer’s father and mother are dead, and since he has no broth- ers or sisters, he has been very close to his step-mother. The News staff extends its deepest sympathy to Pro- fessor Schommer. it is with regret that the News an- nounces the death of Prof. Harry McCormack’s father, who died Wed- nesday morning at his home in Kosh~ konong, Missouri. Frof. McCormack was called to his father’s bedside early in the week and hence was un- able to attend the St. Louis conven— tion of the American Chemical So- ciety, as he had planned. He will re- turn to Chicago Saturday. The News staff, in behalf of the faculty and stu- dent body, extends its deepest sym- pathy. Mr. Paul Nesloo to Speak at Press Club Meeting Members of the ARMOUR TECH NEWS staff should not fail to attend the. meeting of the Press Club, to be held next Thursday, April 26, at 11:30 in Science Hail. Mr. Paul B. Nelson, who is editor-invchlef of the “Scholastic Editor,” well known pub- lication which has for its purpose the improvement of high school and col~ loge publications, will be the speck- er. He will not only give the mem— bers helpful criticism on how to im- prove the general appearance and makeup of the paper, but will also give much first class instruction on how a news article should be written. Mr‘. Nelson is also a member of the Art Crafts Guild. All contributors to the News, and any others interested, are urged to be present at this meeting, whether they are members or not. However, those who are not members of the Club as yet should make out an appli- cation immediately and drop in the News box, which will be placed in the: Main Hall next Monday. Prof. Hem-y Penn Gives lilatsfi‘oicd Talk at Wflii‘. Professor Henry Penn gave a very interesting illustrated and non-tech» nicsl tall; on “An Eight Track and Other Bridges” yestorday at the meeting of the Western Society of Engineers in Room B, Mission. His lecture was principally on the details of operation and construction of the four double track Scherzer bridge. This type of bridge operates on the principle of a bridge truss balanced on a wheel, thereby giving the ad- vantage of a clear span and a large clearance for river traffic. The en- gineering problems of erection. illus- trations of steel connections, details of the lifting machinery, and other factors concerning the operation and construction of the Scherzo? rolling lift bridges were well brought out by the illustrations. Slides were also shown " several other types of bridges .nclnding the rustic. canti- lever. and suspension bridges. At the biweekly meeting of the F. F. E. S. ye tel-day at 11:30 A. M., Mr. Hera; Melville, of the Insur- ance Company of North America, adv tossed the members on the subject of "Edwina insurance.” All the “Fire Prot‘ec‘s,” and especially the Juniors, who nest recently took up the subject insurance in Prof. Finne— cl s, reported that the moot- imp was one of the most interesting and. instructive of the season. ” “Eggs: fiififil‘ifii” :: Cleaver {a “The Slipskick"; {at the Siayctici; Ely where it may. luiwlzswww ., .‘ “Tm ESTH 0? APRIL ’73” Listen my chilern, an you shall here, of the nudnite ride of Paul Reflex". Hardly a. man is now olive, who remembers that famous day an year. One if by land, and two if by see. an I on the opposite shore well be. So Paul ups and spanks the old gray mare and away they went to do and damn—(herald algeri. So the. hay—burner pulls up at the first farmhouse. Knock! Knock! Knock! Knock! “Who’s that” they said, “ ’Tis I tha dock, that got thee cute bed,” "Away dock ’ez'e this pet’s on thy head.” So with a clatter paul ups and away To warn each Middlesex willsge and farm . and spread thro’ tbs country the fearful alarmm. ,. Knock! Knock! Knock! {deep bassyoice) "Waddmvanti” “I’ve come to warn the. countryside of the British marching on land, Walking some miles for some “Camels" (not as advertis) Away again with the swift night Wind to a lonely cottage by the road. Knock! Knock! Knock! Knock! (with a feminine tremulo) “0h! Who’s there.” “ ’Tis Paul, my dear, ’tis Paul Rover.” “Oh! Hello Paul!” “But I’ve come tin—to warn,” “To—Oh! Damntha countryside." -—-L.F.B. & 3. Paul E. She calls me Pilgrim; every time I call I make a little progress. They call her gunmetal; she’s a dull kid. DATA ON DATENG “Hello.” “Hello. Is this Youmuscova 9999??» "* “Hello. Is this the Gotta Lotta Data Sorcfity house?” “Is Josephine Speck there?” “Well where’d she go?” "Oh! Well then is Helen Hartford home?” “Is zat so! Well i guess I did mean Helen Hansen." “Is there anyone there that wants to go for a ride?" “Well then, how would you like to go?” “Well why didn’t you tell me you was the cook!!!” w? . F. B. Stealing a kiss may be petty larceny, but sometimes it’s grand. KKK. KOLUM KONBUKTOR KGPMFETiTlDN Due to the fact that our column conductor hes high hopes of graduating this year, we ere in need of a new and better one for next year. We have decided to give the position to the man who gets the. most contrilzs print» ed before the present year closes. The sauna-~12}! will he made assistant column conductor. Hop to it now, you who would be humorists. BIOLGGY SiMPLllFiED . ‘E After six months the canary was ausgespielt; he sang no more. The lady went to the bird store where she bought the bird sud told her trouble. “You need a mate for your bird. madam." “Well, is be a male or is she a female?" asked. the lady. s “How can I tell, madam? You w; yourself.” have to find out. “How can I llnd out?" “Why, you take two worms. a maple and 3 female. sud put them in the cage. if your bird is s fem ‘ will est ’ the male worm; if it is a mate it will est :9. female worm.” : “But how can I tell a male worm?" worm from 3 female “You will have to ssh that question nisdam. ’l‘his is s bird store." in a worm store, use on the rig You can tell when you it's so. upgrade.